I’m Having An Accident

"i went to the bathroom in my pants.."

"i think i sorta peed the bed"

"i didn't make it in time..."

"i can't hold it anymore!"

"i pooped in my underwear.."

"i went number one on myself"

"it just... came out!"

yeah

picture it: me sitting in the sand by my dom's side as they're reclined on a nice chair, soaking up sun. it's hot, so i'm guzzling water to stay hydrated and watching the waves ripple and crash against the shore. eventually, i feel my bladder pang, and i stand up to go find a bathroom, only for them to grab my hand and hold me back.

"i went to the bathroom in my pants.."

"i think i sorta peed the bed"

"i didn't make it in time..."

"i can't hold it anymore!"

"i pooped in my underwear.."

"i went number one on myself"

"it just... came out!"

yeah

“This display is really interesting, but are you going to need a change soon?” I ask him quietly, my eyes on the replica Devonian plants in the exhibit beyond the railing. “The museum has a single-stall family bathroom.”

“No,” he says, taking a step away from me. “I’m meant to be grown up today, remember?”

“Oh, right. You should probably take care of this, then,” I say, reaching out and pulling his sweater down where it was riding up over the top of his pull-up. He blushes and yanks the hem down even further.

I let him wander away to read the text on the wall about the formation of fossil fuels and rifle through the cards in the gift shop on the other side of the room. When I look over at him, he’s on his knees at a little table next to the exhibit, scribbling on a piece of paper with crayon.

“What are you up to?” I ask.

“Look, they have these engravings on this table that you can put the paper on and scribble over, and it makes a picture. Like leaf rubbings.”

“Ohh, cool. Do you want me to put that in my bag when you’re done?”

“Uh-huh,” he says, passing me the paper. I slip it into my bag next to his back-up pull-ups.

“Which one do you think my sister wants?” I ask, holding up two cards.

“Wait, I think I need to go to the bathroom,” he says.

“Okay, let me put these cards back and we’ll go.”

I hold the door to the family bathroom open for him and lock it behind us. He starts to undo his pants. “Oh no,” he mumbles.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!!”

“Oh, baby, are you wet?”

“No!!”

“Let me see.”

He stumbles over, shame-faced and looking at the ground. I pull his pants down a little, revealing a very wet and saggy pull-up. “Aw, it looks like you had a couple accidents. Maybe even three good pees in here.”

He squirms. “I still need to go. Don’t take too long checking me out.”

“Okay, go to the toilet,” I say, smacking his butt as he turns around. But he has trouble pulling the elastic waistband of the pull-up down in front of the toilet. “Do you need help?”

He’s so red in the face. “Maybe,” he says.

I come up behind him and slip it off, but he gasps before it’s all the way off his genitals.

“I’m peeing!”

“Try to stop, sweetheart, so I can get this down and it doesn’t get on the floor.” He shifts from foot to foot, pinching his thigh. “Okay, if you can’t, just leave it on, and then we’ll change you.” I wait for him to answer, but he just squirms. “Are you still going?”

“I’m almost done. I’m done.” His voice sounds a little sniffly.

“Okay, let me get you a new diaper, baby,” I say, reaching for my bag.

“It’s not a diaper,” he says, chewing on his sweater sleeve.

“Right,” I say. “Let me get it out for you. Can you strip your pants off?”

He complies, folding them and holding them to his chest. I ease off his sopping wet pull-up and help him step into a new one. And then we get his pants back on and I zip him up.

“This wasn’t meant to happen,” he says. “I was supposed to be big today.”

“It’s okay,” I say. “It’s okay if you need to be a baby for a little longer.” It seems fitting that when I straighten up from sorting out his fly he’s sucking on three of his fingers. “Aw, you’re so cute,” I say, kissing his forehead.

“Even when I’m bratty?”

She's having a lot of daytime accidents, and you have no choice but to put her back in pull-ups, 24/7. Poor thing! That's a lot to adjust to at her age. You'd think she'd want to prove she's still a big girl, but sometimes, being in pull-ups can make her get fussy, act out, or be uncooperative. Here are some common, immature behaviors to watch out for, and how to deal with them!

She complains about being in pull-ups: Every girl experiences this sometimes. You're about to leave for the museum, and suddenly your babygirl starts squirming and whining: "Dadddddyyyy, I don't want to wear pull-ups today!" It happens to every little girl.

Just gently sit her down and reminder her: it's Daddy's decision, Daddy's responsible for helping her stay dry, and it's "just in case" she has an accident. Remind her how upset she gets when she has an accident and wets her pants. You might ask her what's worse: having an accident in your pull-up, or wetting your pants? Hopefully, she'll get the picture, and you don't have to bring up any of her more... memorable accidents of late. If she doesn't, that's okay. That's why you put away all her panties a few weeks ago, right?

She isn't changing her wet pull-ups, and keeps leaking: You might think your babygirl is mature enough that she can be allowed to change herself when she's wet. But that's a lot of responsibility for one girl, and frankly, she just might not be ready for that yet. Pull-ups only hold one accident, so if she's not careful, or forgets to change, she'll leak.

I think that it's perfectly sensible to tell her– at least for now– that Daddy is going to be changing her. Or, at the very least, when Daddy says it's time to change, she needs to change. It's hard enough to be trying to get to the potty all the time! You're just looking out for her, and helping make sure the car seat doesn't get any more stains on it than it does already.

She's not telling you when she had an accident: This is very common for lots of little girls. She might have tried to hold it a little too long, or waited to get up off the couch, until it was too late. But... what now? If she tells you about her accident, that makes her look like a baby, and she desperately wants to appear mature. Plus, Daddy's gonna find out anyway... what's the big deal?

Turns out, for Daddy, it *is* a big deal. Her pull-ups are only meant for one accident. If she has another accident, she could leak all over the couch! If you start noticing this behavior, you have to sit her down and give her a talk. "Honey, if you don't tell me when you have an accident, I'm going to have to start checking you myself, even when we're in public. You're not going to like that very much. Can you be a big girl, and tell me instead?" Her beet-red face should tell you that she understands perfectly.

She isn't covering up her pull-ups: it's inevitable. A little waistband riding up on her summertime shorts, a brief moment where her skirt gets stuck flipped up after she stands up. Those things will just happen from time to time. That's why you're there to remind her to pull her shirt down, or pull her jeans up for her. But some girls just don't have the awareness that they're showing off their pull-ups to everyone. Too much of that, and everyone will make fun of her.

I suggest dressing her in ways that can adequately cover her pull-ups, so she isn't the subject of unnecessary teasing. Snap-up onesies, leotards, or overalls all do great work for keeping her friends or family from seeing. Tell her that it's not her fault– you just need to help her keep her special underwear a secret.

She starts taking her pull-ups off: This is a problem, and it should not be tolerated. If you catch your babygirl with her pull-ups off, she needs to be marched straight to her room to be changed, and probably punished. You need to make sure she knows that this is very bad behavior, and she will be punished if she continues to do it. Remind her that you're just trying to make sure she's safe and protected from her accidents. Her pleas of "I don't need them..." and "I'm not a baby..." should be treated gently, but you should let her know that this behavior will not be allowed, going forward.

If it continues, over and over, there are some steps you can take. I discovered that some make onesies that zip up in the back, in a way that makes it hard to remove without supervision (ask me how I know...). That way, she can't take her pull-ups off. A little extreme, but for some little girls, you just have to do it for a while, until she's ready to be mature and stay in her pull-ups.

She acts out when you check her in public: You need to remain calm, be firm with her, and tell her that she needs to act like a big girl, not a baby. She might not understand that acting out like this makes her look immature. She may mistakenly believe that squirming away or avoiding you will make her feel more mature. You need to remind her that she is going to be checked in public, whether she likes it or not. Especially if she can't be honest with you when she's wet. If she continues to fuss, or whine, there's little to be done other than take her by the hand and march her straight to the family changing room. It's not a bad idea to emphasize that, if she is going to make a fuss every time you check her, diapers might be more appropriate...

She starts using her pull-ups like diapers: It can happen– she gets a little complacent, or lazy. Whereas before, she was running to the potty at every little tingly feeling, now she doesn't even get up, or halfheartedly walks toward the bathroom before stopping in her tracks, eyes glazed over, and wetting herself. You'll notice this is happening when she never seems to be dry whenever you check her. You need to figure out whether she's just being lazy, or her bladder control really is getting worse. Either way, you need to let her know that this behavior can't continue– she can't keep leaking in her pull-ups– and that she needs to try as hard as she can to stay dry.

The threat of putting her "back in diapers" should be enough to really drive the point home for her. If she was just lazy or unmotivated, that alone should be enough to get her to try hard again. And, if she really is losing control, then... maybe diapers aren't such a bad idea after all. If– after all the encouragement, threats, ultimatums– her accidents just get worse, it might be time to give diapers a try. Sure, she's not going to be using the potty anymore, but at least she won't be so embarrassed every time she leaks onto her pants, right? And, as her caregiver, diapers are a lot easier for you to manage her toileting needs. No more pulling her shoes off just to change her pull-up, or after every accident. Because she can stay in them for longer, you can just change her diaper when it's more convenient for you.

Melissa’s boyfriend, David, had been taking (and failing) a community college class for young adults who had never really gotten the hang of potty training for the last year. Always willing to bail him out, she packed up a bag and drove over to the school. The parking lot was dark and almost empty. To avoid too much embarrassment for the students, the class was always held later than even a typical night class.

David was waiting in the hallway outside the classroom. “Oh honey, on your first day in jeans, too?” asked Melissa as she approached him. He nodded sheepishly. “Okay, let’s go in the bathroom.” She led towards the single-stall men’s restroom. Just as the door was closing behind them, Melissa saw the classroom door open in her peripheral vision. She stopped the bathroom door with an outstretched hand.

“Is everything all right?” asked the professor, peering out from the classroom doorway. “Did you bring a change for David?”

“Yes, don’t worry. David will be okay with me,” said Melissa. The professor nodded and slipped back into the classroom. Melissa let the bathroom door clang shut and locked it.

“Let’s assess the damage,” she sad. “Turn around.” The back of his jeans were lumpy and a little stained. “Oh, okay. That’s not great.” She set her supply bag down on the cabinet and unzipped it.

“You know what the worst part is?” said David. “I didn’t even think about it. I didn’t try to hold it at all. I just started pushing, oh…I’m peeing now.” Melissa looked up. Urine was quickly soaking the front and back of David’s jeans and splattering on the floor.

“Oh, oh, stop, honey, or we’re going to have to mop up the floor!” David grabbed his crotch and whimpered, trying to stem the flow. “Oh, it’s no use now. You might as well just take your pants off. Or, oh, alright, I’ll help you.” She stepped forward and unbuckled his belt. His hand slipped away from his crotch but he kept his thighs pressed firmly together to try desperately to hold in the last bit of pee.

“Hey, don’t bother with that now,” she said. “Otherwise getting these off will be impossible.” David relented and she pulled his pants and underwear off as more urine cascaded to the ground. “Did you have to go a lot? What’s up with that?” she asked her boyfriend, looking up into his face.

David fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. “I don’t know. I didn’t go since before class. I guess I’m just not getting the hang of it at all.”

“Hasn’t your teacher told you to go every 20 minutes or something? Or maybe 10 with your bladder capacity.” She wiped the worst of the mess off him with a bunch of wet wipes. “Okay, lie down on the changing table.” David obliged.

After she cleaned him up, she reached into the bag and pulled out a big diaper. “I know you already graduated to pull-ups. But I just don’t know if you can be trusted with that yet since this whole situation happened.” She gestured at the crumpled pile of messy clothes on the ground.

“I know,” said David. He let her put the diaper on him and tape it up. Then he sat up on the changing table.

Melissa washed her hands in the sink. “Do you want to finish up your class? I think you still have 20 minutes left,” she said as she dried her hands with a paper towel. “Although it’s going to take a second to clean up the mess on the floor.”

“I want to go back to class,” said David. “I’m just really…I don’t know. I’m disappointed in myself.”

"i can't stop"

"im gonna pee my pants"

"fuck, i can feel it coming out"

"i can't hold it much longer"

Lil cousin @little_paulabdl: See, I told you he is a baby too. 🤭

Me: Not true!😡

Dad: You can't really argue with him, look at your pants. He was right, I should have put you in a diaper. He's probably more mature than you if he knows that you need it.🤔