Imagine It

So, you’re working on a book, or maybe you’ve finished it. But you know something just isn’t right, or the first readers didn’t like it. What could be the problem?

1. Story not plot

The issue could be that you have written a story and not a plot.

A story is a string of events occurring one after the other. It’s basically: this and then that and then that etc.

Plot is a series of events/occurrences that are interlinked in a cause-and-effect manner. A happened because of X, which resulted in Y.

Oftentimes, the idea for a new WIP comes to us as snippets of happenings that are random. However, that does not a book make.

A book needs plot. Your events need to follow some pattern or logical consequence of cause and effect. One plot point must give rise to another in a structure that makes sense and ensures maximum interest.

There’s a reason there are so many pre-determined plot structures out there.

If your book is just story and not plot, try to outline the events in a more organised way. Maybe you can consult guides like the 3-Act arc or Save the Cat if you need help.

2. Pacing

Maybe you have a structured plot, where each occurrence is logically and entertainingly linked to the rest, but you don’t pace out those events correctly.

Apart from good structure, the most important aspect of plot is pacing. 

There is an art to writing good stories, and a lot of that involves good timing. You should not litter big event after big event with no space to breathe. You also shouldn’t write 500 pages of nothing.

It’s a difficult balance, but plotting aids could once again help.

I also have a post on conquering pacing, if you want to check that out.

3. Weak characters

This is a fatal mistake.

If you have flat, one-dimensional characters that do not interest your readers, no amount of plotting will save the book.

I know this comes across as harsh, but it really is true. Character is key.

So, if you have no problems with your plot per se, but something still isn’t working, you might want to review your characters.

Are they three-dimensional enough? Do they have strong, identifiable motivations? Do they have interesting combinations of traits and interests? Are they diverse?

You can check out my post on designing a simple character arc if you feel really stuck.

I would also recommend creating character sheets in which you flesh out each character. Personality tests such as MBTI and Enneagram are also great ways to create complicated characters.

4. Too many overused tropes

Everything has been done before. I’m sorry to break it to you. However, not all variations/combinations of things have been done.

It’s okay for your book to feature a cliche or a popular trope. What might be damaging is using a bunch of overused ideas in one book.

There are some elements, like the “wise old wizard” or “the chosen one” or “the answer was inside you all along” that have become distinctly predictable. This is because most people have seen them a thousand times.

This means that your readers won’t be interested in reading further, since they’ll feel like they already know how things will play out. It’s old and boring. The market for these types of stories is also saturated.

So, make sure that you combine elements of storytelling in a somewhat unique and surprising way. No, you don’t have to set out to write something absolutely revolutionary. There should just be some originality - even if it’s just in your writing style.

5. Messy prose

Sometimes the premise, plot and characters of a book are amazing. But you just can’t enjoy reading it. Why? Because the writing is terrible.

Writing inundated with spelling errors, run-on sentences, boring word-choice etc. is very difficult to find entertaining.

Do not allow your good story to be discarded because of messy prose and grammatical errors.

Grammar, spelling and syntax exist for a reason. They facilitate ease of reading.

So, before you put writing out there, use ProWriting Aid or Grammarly, at the very least. If you’re putting it out in a professional capacity, hire a qualified editor.

You don’t want to be labelled a bad writer because of something that is easy to fix.

There are probably many more reasons something could feel off, but these are some of the main ones. Keep in mind that these problems can be fixed. 

EYES/BROWS

his eyes widened

her eyes went round

her eyelids drooped

his eyes narrowed

his eyes lit up

his eyes darted

he squinted

she blinked

her eyes twinkled

his eyes gleamed

her eyes sparkled

his eyes flashed

his eyes glinted

his eyes burned with…

her eyes blazed with…

her eyes sparked with…

her eyes flickered with…

_____ glowed in his eyes

the corners of his eyes crinkled

she rolled her eyes

he looked heavenward

she glanced up to the ceiling

she winked

tears filled her eyes

his eyes welled up

her eyes swam with tears

his eyes flooded with tears

her eyes were wet

his eyes glistened

tears shimmered in her eyes

tears shone in his eyes

her eyes were glossy

he was fighting back tears

tears ran down her cheeks

his eyes closed

she squeezed her eyes shut

he shut his eyes

his lashes fluttered

she batted her lashes

his brows knitted

her forehead creased

his forehead furrowed

her forehead puckered

a line appeared between her brows

his brows drew together

her brows snapped together

his eyebrows rose

she raised a brow

he lifted an eyebrow

his eyebrows waggled

she gave him a once-over

he sized her up

her eyes bored into him

she took in the sight of…

he glared

she peered

he gazed

she glanced

he stared

she scrutinized

he studied

she gaped

he observed

she surveyed

he gawked

he leered

his pupils (were) dilated

her pupils were huge

his pupils flared

NOSE

her nose crinkled

his nose wrinkled

she sneered

his nostrils flared

she stuck her nose in the air

he sniffed

she sniffled

MOUTH

she smiled

he smirked

she grinned

he simpered

she beamed

her mouth curved into a smile

the corners of his mouth turned up

the corner of her mouth quirked up

a corner of his mouth lifted

his mouth twitched

he gave a half-smile

she gave a lopsided grin

his mouth twisted

he plastered a smile on his face

she forced a smile

he faked a smile

her smile faded

his smile slipped

he pursed his lips

she pouted

his mouth snapped shut

her mouth set in a hard line

he pressed his lips together

she bit her lip

he drew his lower lip between his teeth

she nibbled on her bottom lip

he chewed on his bottom lip

his jaw set

her jaw clenched

his jaw tightened

a muscle in her jaw twitched

he ground his jaw

he snarled/his lips drew back in a snarl

her mouth fell open

his jaw dropped

her jaw went slack

he gritted his teeth

she gnashed her teeth

her lower lip trembled

his lower lip quivered

SKIN

she paled

he blanched

she went white

the color drained out of his face

his face reddened

her cheeks turned pink

his face flushed

she blushed

he turned red

she turned scarlet

he turned crimson

a flush crept up her face

WHOLE FACE, ETC.

he screwed up his face

she scrunched up her face

he grimaced

she winced

she gave him a dirty look

he frowned

she scowled

he glowered

her whole face lit up

she brightened

his face went blank

her face contorted

his face twisted

her expression closed up

his expression dulled

her expression hardened

she went poker-faced

a vein popped out in his neck

awe transformed his face

fear crossed her face

sadness clouded his features

terror overtook his face

recognition dawned on her face

It is not any sort of insulting name you call it.

It is a baby.  A young, inexperienced baby that might throw up on your shirt and cause you to lose sleep at night but you love it all the same and will patiently feed it and tuck it into bed at night with a kiss no matter what happens.

You do not call a baby stupid or awful because they are new to the world and do not have the ability or knowledge to function on their own.  Instead, you nurture and teach them so they grow up smart and strong and capable.

Such it is with a first draft.  A first draft is not bad because it needs care and attention. Don’t insult it because it is newly written down with ideas that are not yet fully formed.  In fact, that is the reason why it is AMAZING.  It’s a DRAFT!  The FIRST one for the story!  LOOK at it!  It exists!  It is ALIVE!  And it is YOURS, this story you made.  

Sticking a landing will royally fuck up your joints and possibly shatter your ankles, depending on how high you’re jumping/falling from. There’s a very good reason free-runners dive and roll. 

Hand-to-hand fights usually only last a matter of seconds, sometimes a few minutes. It’s exhausting work and unless you have a lot of training and history with hand-to-hand combat, you’re going to tire out really fast. 

Arrows are very effective and you can’t just yank them out without doing a lot of damage. Most of the time the head of the arrow will break off inside the body if you try pulling it out, and arrows are built to pierce deep. An arrow wound demands medical attention. 

Throwing your opponent across the room is really not all that smart. You’re giving them the chance to get up and run away. Unless you’re trying to put distance between you so you can shoot them or something, don’t throw them. 

Everyone has something called a “flinch response” when they fight. This is pretty much the brain’s way of telling you “get the fuck out of here or we’re gonna die.” Experienced fighters have trained to suppress this. Think about how long your character has been fighting. A character in a fist fight for the first time is going to take a few hits before their survival instinct kicks in and they start hitting back. A character in a fist fight for the eighth time that week is going to respond a little differently. 

ADRENALINE WORKS AGAINST YOU WHEN YOU FIGHT. THIS IS IMPORTANT. A lot of times people think that adrenaline will kick in and give you some badass fighting skills, but it’s actually the opposite. Adrenaline is what tires you out in a battle and it also affects the fighter’s efficacy - meaning it makes them shaky and inaccurate, and overall they lose about 60% of their fighting skill because their brain is focusing on not dying. Adrenaline keeps you alive, it doesn’t give you the skill to pull off a perfect roundhouse kick to the opponent’s face. 

Swords WILL bend or break if you hit something hard enough. They also dull easily and take a lot of maintenance. In reality, someone who fights with a sword would have to have to repair or replace it constantly.

Fights get messy. There’s blood and sweat everywhere, and that will make it hard to hold your weapon or get a good grip on someone. 

A serious battle also smells horrible. There’s lots of sweat, but also the smell of urine and feces. After someone dies, their bowels and bladder empty. There might also be some questionable things on the ground which can be very psychologically traumatizing. Remember to think about all of the character’s senses when they’re in a fight. Everything WILL affect them in some way. 

If your sword is sharpened down to a fine edge, the rest of the blade can’t go through the cut you make. You’ll just end up putting a tiny, shallow scratch in the surface of whatever you strike, and you could probably break your sword. 

ARCHERS ARE STRONG TOO. Have you ever drawn a bow? It takes a lot of strength, especially when you’re shooting a bow with a higher draw weight. Draw weight basically means “the amount of force you have to use to pull this sucker back enough to fire it.” To give you an idea of how that works, here’s a helpful link to tell you about finding bow sizes and draw weights for your characters.  (CLICK ME)

If an archer has to use a bow they’re not used to, it will probably throw them off a little until they’ve done a few practice shots with it and figured out its draw weight and stability. 

People bleed. If they get punched in the face, they’ll probably get a bloody nose. If they get stabbed or cut somehow, they’ll bleed accordingly. And if they’ve been fighting for a while, they’ve got a LOT of blood rushing around to provide them with oxygen. They’re going to bleed a lot. 

Here’s a link to a chart to show you how much blood a person can lose without dying. (CLICK ME) 

If you want a more in-depth medical chart, try this one. (CLICK ME)

- Short sentences. Choppy. One action, then another. When there’s a lull in the fight, take a moment, using longer phrases to analyze the situation–then dive back in. Snap, snap, snap. - Same thing with words - short, simple, and strong in the thick of battle. Save the longer syllables for elsewhere. - Characters do not dwell on things when they are in the heat of the moment. They will get punched in the face. Focus on actions, not thoughts. - Go back and cut out as many adverbs as possible. - No seriously, if there’s ever a time to use the strongest verbs in your vocabulary - Bellow, thrash, heave, shriek, snarl, splinter, bolt, hurtle, crumble, shatter, charge, raze - it’s now. - Don’t forget your other senses. People might not even be sure what they saw during a fight, but they always know how they felt. - Taste: Dry mouth, salt from sweat, copper tang from blood, etc - Smell: OP nailed it - Touch: Headache, sore muscles, tense muscles, exhaustion, blood pounding. Bruised knuckles/bowstring fingers. Injuries that ache and pulse, sting and flare white hot with pain. - Pain will stay with a character. Even if it’s minor. - Sound and sight might blur or sharpen depending on the character and their experience/exhaustion. Colors and quick movements will catch the eye. Loud sounds or noises from behind may serve as a fighter’s only alert before an attack. - If something unexpected happens, shifting the character’s whole attention to that thing will shift the Audience’s attention, too. - Aftermath. This is where the details resurface, the characters pick up things they cast aside during the fight, both literally and metaphorically. Fights are chaotic, fast paced, and self-centered. Characters know only their self, their goals, what’s in their way, and the quickest way around those threats. The aftermath is when people can regain their emotions, their relationships, their rationality/introspection, and anything else they couldn’t afford to think or feel while their lives were on the line.

Do everything you can to keep the fight here and now. Maximize the physical, minimize the theoretical. Keep things immediate - no theories or what ifs.

If writing a strategist, who needs to think ahead, try this: keep strategy to before-and-after fights. Lay out plans in calm periods, try to guess what enemies are thinking or what they will do. During combat, however, the character should think about his options, enemies, and terrain in immediate terms; that is, in shapes and direction. (Large enemy rushing me; dive left, circle around / Scaffolding on fire, pool below me / two foes helping each other, separate them.)