Dear Future Husband

There's beauty in our mundane.

The moment I meet you, I won't know that you're the one. I won't have a feeling. I might look back and think that I did, but I mostly didn't. It's near impossible to have that "feeling." I will know that you're the one unexpectedly, out of the blue. One day, you'll surprise me, impress me, make me feel at ease and then, I'll see it.

Honestly, most days I am quite sure that we will never actually be married. That we will just live together and be fine, but never actually commit. Most days, I believe that I am never good enough to actually have you marry me. I am bitchy, I am rude, I am emotional. I am also kind, considerate, loving, helpful and always loving you. Why am I sometimes not enough? Why do I feel like I will never be happily married?

Thank you for always being my real-life partner no matter the circumstances. You are always by my side whether it is when I am wrong in an argument but I keep fighting, when I make a wrong decision but you make me feel as if I didn’t, when I may or may not commit a small crime, you have my back. I love that you are always my partner. I love that I know you are always there, whether sometimes you want to be or not, you are. Thank you, and please stay as you are. 

I am always scared to lose you because I know that I'm not perfect. Sure, you can tell me that I'm perfect in your eyes but in reality, I'm far from perfect. I always want to please you, make you happy and the ultimate goal; to never disappoint you. Sometimes, I feel like I'm just not enough and it really gets to me. It makes me feel like you can do better even when you think you never could. There's always someone better looking, someone who can make a better joke, someone who can show you something different, teach you new things. I just hope that someday, I can be that person as well, even if I'm not today.

I know that I'm cranky and tired 80% of the time when it gets past my bedtime. I'm sorry that it makes me indecisive and a total bitch sometimes... But please always know, that's not the real me and I love you more than words could ever explain. Thank you for always being patient with me when I'm at my worst.

Sometimes I just need to be held tightly and tucked in at night until I fall asleep. Sometimes, I need you to just make me battle my depression so I don’t give up on all things that make me great. Sometimes, I just need kisses and reassurance that you do love me even though I’m constantly down and crying. Sometimes, I just need you to go get ice cream with me to make me feel slightly better.

Thank you for never giving up on me and pushing me to do better. I will always stand by you like I know you’ll stand by me.

Thank you for always believing in me and making me believe in myself.

I haven't done this in awhile and I'm sorry for my absence. Truth be told, I stopped believing you'd exist in my world. I've loved before, or at least I thought so and I've been let down many times. I am starting to have faith once more for you, and I hope that you do too. I know that it's hard to tell at first if you're meant to be with someone so you just take a leap of faith into a relationship. Well, I think I finally lept into the right arms.

I pray that you're the man I know and love now because that man is the man I never knew existed but, here he is.

Dear future husband, please be sure, to always love Jesus more than me. - Anonymous sent in a request!