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“Bigger than a normal fireball”

mitsumi's never had romantic relationships, shima's the first person she's had a crush on, so this concept of "being special" becomes a fundamental idea of what dating is to her. it also becomes an expectation. this idea simmers in mitsumi's mind during a couple of chapters until it reaches its boiling point in chapter 44, when shima doesn't defend her from the girls that made fun of her.

unexpectedly (but in usual skiploaf fashion), the person that happens to relate to mitsumi is none other than ujiie. ujiie's also dealing with his ambitions. he coped with his classmates making fun of him by thinking that he had better grades than them, that he would surpass them one day. the thing is, when he meets mitsumi he comes face to face with his own shortcomings. he starts comparing himself to her, he starts doubting his own abilities, so he decides he wants to test himself to prove he can be special.

i really like what takamatsu did with the concept of "being special" in this volume. by adding ujiie and his mini arc, this idea doesn't stay limited to dating or romance anymore, it expands and it becomes a more general theme: the desire to be unique, to be different from everyone else.

this is directly connected to the theme of mitsumi's greed this volume explores. we first get a glimpse of this theme in volume 7, when mitsumi's dealing with making friends in her new class.

we start seeing this desire in mitsumi grow, the desire to have it all, as she says. an aspect that i like about "mitsumi's greed" as a theme is that it's not only constructed by her own expections and ambitions, but by the perceptions of others as well. there's a pattern in the way that other characters see mitsumi. they see her as someone who has it all, who has what they lack, who gets what they don't.

we also can observe this pattern with mika in the early volumes, but in this volume it's different. these perceptions play a central part in mitsumi's arc because she's forced to face them after she hears them directly from the people who have them.

now here's the thing, is what mitsumi's feeling truly greed? well, as a reader... i don't think it is. i don't think mitsumi's greedy for wanting to be special to shima, wanting to hang out with her friends and wanting to do well in school. we've known since the start mitsumi's the ambitious and hardworking type, we know how much effort she puts in. but does she?

in my opinion, the first one to think of mitsumi as greedy is mitsumi herself. she becomes conscious of how her confidence and courage weren't things she was born with, she notices how her grades have been the lowest since she started high school, and she wonders if shima likes her in the same way that she does. suddenly, she realizes: it's too much. she wants too much. therefore, she needs to give something up. and, as yasaka says in chapter 44, "when she does sense malice or something off, she's quick to speak up."

chapter 45 has some similarities to chapters 18-19, mitsumi also hits a wall after handling too much things at the same time on her own. she apologizes for ignoring how shima felt about acting in the festival's play and laments that she "only has eyes for what she wants" (i like the nuance in this line in the unofficial translation).

i think what's heartbreaking about chapter 45 is that it's the first time we see mitsumi dealing with resignation. mitsumi, who's an unstoppable force, who's always working hard and trying her best, finds a hurdle she can't overcome. she can't make shima like her in the way she wants, and she can't keep letting that affect her other ambitions. what's really painful to me is seeing mitsumi, who always dreams big, deciding that she has to let go of something she wants. but even though it's sad, she makes that decision so she can keep going, and that's also very in character for her.

and the last thing i wanna mention is that, again, mitsumi and shima's arcs and journeys contrast each other. while shima's starting to go through the process of understanding his feelings, allowing himself to want more, giving a step forward, mitsumi is, on the other hand, learning to deal with the fact that there are things she'll have to give up on. and that's (only) one of the reasons why i think that to this day volume 8 is one of the best skiploaf volumes out there (and why i'm obsessed with it).

[Image description: A panel from the Skip and Loafer manga. Makoto looks shocked at Mitsumi, who is crying and says: "Mitsumi!? Why are you crying?!", to which Mitsumi says: "It's just...My precious Mika-chan is hurting so bad~". /End description]