we often drink coffee with cream over the abyss

when youre aromantic you still get dead wife flashbacks but its just about that really fucking good sandwich you ate last week

>#I love how this gag would be funny at any point since the third century BCE

No pills back then...I wonder if there was something else they compared these little critters to?

GRAAAGH! I'm so hungry and I can't catch anything! If only I had ampullae of Lorenzini to help me sense where my prey is. Hey... You wouldn't happen to have some, would you?

one time we were listening to fleetwood mac in the car and my sister who was probably 4 at the time asked, without being prompted, “can girls marry girls?” and THAT is the power of stevie nicks

you can post on tumblr even when you're trying to take a break from social media it literally doesn't count. it's like pepsi max, or pescatarianism

men and women are not opposites. men and women are not enemies. men and women are two parts of a broad coalition which fights against a mutual enemy: inkjet printers

if leon kennedy was a little bug with a long proboscis it'd be called resident weevil. but he's not and it's not and i just don't know anymore

american blackbirds are icterids but european blackbirds are thrushes but american robins are thrushes but european robins are flycatchers and they are named robin because (checks notes) brits in the 1400s called them "robert" on account of they are just some familiar guy who shows up in your yard. hold on post canceled is that really why they are called that? what the fuck. they did this with jackdaws and magpies too? i can't even be annoyed. how human. "who's that? that's bob." fuck dude it sure is.