it's all over now.

me: okay i’ve complained enough about this it’s time to put it to rest

I am a little worried for my obsession with the Formula 1? Like I love it. I honestly do love musicals obviously, more than anything but most weekends having the F1 to watch is just so much fun. Could be the attractive men or the competition that I relate too maybe? Anyone else watch the F1 or is it just me? If you don't what do you do with your weekends?

I doubt its just you, considering its a multi-million dollar industry that you can tune into every weekend on ESPN. You know men exist outside of your TV, right? You don't have to lick a screen to see them?

congrats everyone. so super happy for all of you. i'll be rooting you on from the back. as always.

As far as backhanded compliments go, this one could use some work. I'd give it a 6.5 out of 10, and at least 4 of those points are me being generous.

How's it going, NYADA? I'm Penny, or Nurse Penny, but Penny is also fine. I might've seen a couple of you in my office already, but I figured it'd be a good idea to introduce myself and make sure you all know where to find me if and when you need me. I'm the new on-campus nurse, found of course in the nurse's office, duh, and here to help with any of your medical needs. I'm not new to the profession, but I'm new to working in a college setting, and I'm definitely new to being surrounded by so much talent. Seriously, you're all amazing, and I'm kind of terrified because I can barely sing happy birthday on key, so I'll leave that part to all of you. I hear the school musical is happening pretty soon? So good luck to everyone with that! I hope you all get the parts you want.

Get out before the ink on your contract has had time to dry.

I have to say, the choice for this year's musical is actually pretty iconic? Mean Girls as one of my favorite movies growing up, despite knowing one too many Regina George's back in my hometown.

Is the eyeliner permanently tattooed onto your face? Because otherwise, I'm not sure that there's much difference between you and anyone else with access to a CVS. With that logic, they should have cast me during one particular three month stint in 2005.

idk if you guys have heard, but this fall's hottest new trend? shame. i am begging some of you - most of you, let's be real - to add it to your wardrobes. i get this is a performing school and whatever, trust me, i am well aware, but does that have to mean we have to live like we're inside a musical? am i not allowed to get to class without being bumped into by you losers desperately trying to get a crumb of clout with tiktok dances no one wants to watch? newsflash- you're about five years too late and three points too ugly. you're not undiscovered, you just suck.

The tomfoolery becomes almost tolerable once you accept that most around here are counting down their last few years of feeling special. This place is a ticking timebomb of unrealized mediocrity and monetary donations disguised as talent, and if any of them had a sense of shame, it dissolved into the ether the second their uncle's neighbor's. second cousin cast them in a community theatre production of Spamalot. I suggest you either become a teacher and start threatening their grades or invest in a good foghorn. They're the only effective ways I've found of tampering down on the nonsense.

texts || an eaton nightmare

darlings, cuties, chickies — a brand new term at NYADA is upon us, and I, for one, am absolutely ELECTRIFIED with excitement. while the summer has been a time of intense productivity and personal growth (literally! i swear i'm a little taller now), I have to say a personal highlight was finally meeting the legendary Tyler Capa and Natalie Weiss, as well receiving vocal training from them both. I know, I know - it was a literal honour and I'm never going to shut up about it. all of my summer adventures were, naturally, documented over on my tiktok if you're feeling inspired and want to bless your ears before our academic new year.

It's exhausting to listen to students groan about how upset they are over the new school year but this? This might be worse. It feels like you didn't take a single breath while typing this.

well the day every student, new and old are all so excited to come back to school. why? I don't know summer sounds better. I don't know why I am seeing so many 'oh i am so excited to be back. can't wait for another year at nyada.' like you have no clue what you're in store for this year. Anyone who is in my dance class this year, don't expect it to be easy. Anyway, hope you enjoyed your summer, who's ready to learn this year?

Asking who's ready to learn on a college campus is like asking who's ready to get their thorax crushed while boarding a poorly maintained wooden roller coaster at an amusement park on the cusp of bankruptcy. That is to say, a disappointment for all parties.

after seeing so many sites of europe for the some of summer and also just getting some time to spend my summer with friends or shopping or even just working. I am so ready and excited to be back in a dorm room, I am making it look nicer this year and I am exited to get back into classes. It's been a long day unpacking so far. what did you guys get up to over summer? what are you excited for this year?

Fascinating. Any other riveting details you're keeping from us? Did you, perhaps, have an ice cream cone? Wear an oversized sun hat? The people of NYADA are on the edge of their collective seat wanting to know.

Does anyone else regret the number of classes they have signed up for this semester? I think I am going to regret this in just a few weeks... But on the bright side, no classes before 9 a.m. which I think should be illegal. I would much rather take an evening class than haul my butt to a lecture hall at 7 a.m.

I don’t believe the add/drop period has ended yet? You can still reduce your credit hours. Of course, assuming those credits are all mandatory for your degree, you’ll have to take them anyway. All you’d be doing is putting them off to a future date, most likely delaying meeting your requirements and giving yourself more time to question the life choices that led you here. Inevitably, at that point you’ll have a full on crisis despite the hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars already invested into a program you clearly weren’t devoted to enough if you’re complaining about a schedule you chose of your own volition. From there you’ll drop out, jump from dead end job to dead end job, and ultimately you’ll find yourself renting a basement apartment from some man known only as Big Larry. Don’t worry though, he’ll be kind enough to lend you cobweb-covered podcast equipment so you can document your rise and fall to an astonishing 17 monthly Spotify listeners. You might even get a HelloFresh sponsorship someday.