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requisition officer: this might prove useful

inquisitor: okay............... that sounds fake but okay

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andrewarhol

the weird thing about tumblr is you can have 5000 followers and only have 8 that reblog a post so it’s kind of like walking into a theater with 5000 quiet people and going “Hello everyone!” and 8 people go “hey”

Me:is okay for a few days

Me: oh my god I faked my entire illness I'm just a manipulative monster who pretends to be crazy oh my god I should do something destructive because I hate myself

Me: wait a second

me: [says something innocuous]

friend: [stops responding]

me: i did it. by pure chance, i managed to unlock the Most Offensive Phrase in the world. with one sentence i offended them, their family, their entire way of life. ours was a good friendship but it's over now because they're never ever going to speak to me again. i am a Disaster and i Must Be Stopped.

pvnkiish

No one needs to save me.

#lis #vg

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communistbakery-deactivated2017

whenever i say “i wish people found me attractive” people always say oh you are!! but like it’s a pity thing, i want ppl to legitimately find me attractive and try to flirt with me etc without doing it bc im a last resort or because they see im upset abt being ugly i want ppl to actually find me attractive!!!!

staticego

The signs as quotes from spongebob

aries: E.very V.illain I.s L.emons taurus: Krabs is a *dolphin noise* gemini: MY LEG cancer: I was born with glass bones and paper skin leo: Can we say that shoes from Texas are dumb? virgo: All I saw was…CHEAPY THE CHEAPSKATE libra: OH MY GOD, IT’S A FLOATING SHOPPING LIST scorpio: This is my lab…AND THIS IS MY LABORATORY sagittarius: *Soulfully* krUSTY KRAAAAHHH YEAH YEAH YEAH AB PIZZA, IS THE PIZZA YEAH FOR YOU AND *high pitched* meEEEEE capricorn: 1% Evil 99% Hot gas aquarius: Aw P.O.O.P., you never let us down! pisces: He, she, me, Wumbo

#capricorn #so accurate

icarntspell

I FUCKING MISS AMY WINEHOUSE

#me

sauceman-chorizo

I;ve seen some romance gifs where people have used a character override mod with the Arishok and they are fantastic :3c

I want to motorboat them tiddies :3c

#me

gothpout

everything’s ok!!!!! gr8!! I want to get hit by a car!!!!!

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tethrasing-deactivated20170803

varric: so, who do you think is the toughest: josephine, leliana, or cassandra? solas: cullen’s not up for consideration? varric:

#:}

marvelparkcheersquad

#cap #steve's face in the last one i just #marvel

barleytea

#animal crossing #vg #same

exobtsvines

WHEN U THINK UR TOUGH SHIT BUT UR NOT LMFAOSKJSHSHS.

#idk who these people are #but this is exactly what i do when there's a bee or a wasp #fight me

swablu

why are so many gay men so quick to mention how disgusting they find vaginas like thats not misogynistic and transphobic at all

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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doriandalloway-deactivated20180

Me on a first date : So… wanna watch 22 hours of Avatar: The last airbender with me?

#me af #atla

omegastation

(x)

#mass effect #shepard

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