“devil child”

anybody have parents that think ur just being “sassy” when you dislike someone? like whether it’s one of my neighbors that traumatized me, or an old toxic friend, my parents think I just decided to hate them all for fun??

i swear everytime i try to explain it to them, this is how it goes:

what i say: “yeah i would prefer not to be around this person ever again. They’re not as great as they seem. “

when i was about 5, my neighbor who babysat me would also have our bishop over a lot. They would kiss at the door whenever he walked in or had to say goodbye. It was a very passionate kiss.

They were married to other people, just so you know. So i asked my neighbor why she was kissing the bishop when she has a husband and while he has a wife. She just told me “that’s what adult friends do.” and i was like “oh okay.” and i thought that was simple and normal enough so I never told anyone what I saw.

My mom immediately told me that I was going to hell. I tried to say that god would not do something that harsh but my dad interrupted me to say that I certainly will go to hell if i don’t get married.

For obvious reasons, I was uncomfortable and just started to walk to my room just to end that conversation. They would not let it go. My parents and even a few siblings followed me into my room. They really had to make sure to nail the guilt and shame into me. I gave up on “talking back” and it still kept escalating until they all had me cornered in my room, about to break down.

I was 12, sobbing hysterically and begging them to all leave me alone. They kept repeating it to me, “you’re going to hell, you’re going to hell...” with blank expressions. And it was not a brief moment, the whole thing went on for almost an hour until they thought i “learned my lesson”