Allow me to insert an idea here, but despite what most people think about Shiroba, he was still trying in his own twisted way. Presumably, after Aoba fails Scrap, both he and Koujaku are taken by Toue. We have no real idea of the passage of time, but Aoba was devastated after failing Scrap with Koujaku. Ultimately, breaking Koujaku broke Aoba tooâŠand in Toueâs hands, we can only imagine what Aoba must have gone through both inside and out before becoming the pale, right hand fiend of Midorijimaâs new tyrannical overlord.Â
Koujaku had been fading in and out for what seems to be some time by this point, so he has no idea how long itâs beenâŠbut if we remember Clearâs bad end (-shiver-) âwe know that Toue is fine with studying and experimenting with Aoba as Clear was given permission to have Aoba only after they were done with him. Somehow, I doubt physically regressing to his black and white coloration came naturally overnight, but I also know that Desireâs raison dâĂȘtre is to protect Aoba, even if itâs not seen as the ârightâ way to do things.Â
With that said, Koujakuâs deepest wish, his ultimate desire was for Aoba to accept all of him, both the good and the tattered and broken past. Knowing this, Desire gave the sweet words he thought Koujaku wanted to hear, even if he delivered them poorly. I love you. I accept you. No matter what⊠But Koujakuâs instinct told him that it was wrong.Â
Only once Koujaku denied him and repeatedly refused to fall for the failed attempts did Aobaâs Desire finally stop the act.Â
Aoba falls into a fit of laughterâŠbut excuse me if I read it more as despair rather than venom, at least initiallyâŠonly after does he play it off as a joke.Â
Desire falls back into his natural rhythm. Taunting, goading, haughty, and seemingly ice cold with one goal: To destroy. As if everything else is meaningless. The world does not accept him, so why should he accept the world? If itâs not amusing, whatâs the point? But ultimately, the one thing he cannot accept is himselfâŠand so he lets his body and mind unravel while caging his heart.Â
Doesnât it seem a little unfair? That Koujaku would want to be accepted by Aoba, fearing rejectionâŠbut when faced with the darkest parts of the one he loves, he turns away. Aoba laughs it off and proceeds to cast Koujaku into despair in turnâŠbut what if Koujaku had fallen for it? What if Koujaku had accepted Desire in that moment? Could he have been able to reach Aoba?
The truth is, a bridge is built from both sides and has to meet in the middle. I think rather than saying âKoujakuâs bad route is the only one where Aoba gives upâ we should say:
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âKoujakuâs bad route is the only one where Aoba could walk away, but didnât.â
Which just makes the ending theme that much more painfulâŠ
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