Meh @destielcakes69 - Tumblr Blog

imagine having money wow i just got chills

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culturistjack-deactivated201804

I'd very much like to punch a feminist.

I’d never, ever hurt a lady but I’d be happy to punch a feminist. It’d bring me great joy.

olisaurusrex

I’m 6’2 and weigh 180lbs

ready when you are

thattallsummonerguy

Or if you’d like to have some more options….

I’m 6’4” 228 pounds and have 9 years of combined martial arts training and 3 years of being a Line Backer in football. Just in case you are looking for variety.

wontbeafraid-deactivated2014041

what about a lady and a feminist. warning, combatives certified soldier.

nevergenders-moved

im tiny, i’m like 5′4 and 130 lbs but u can fight me too

scumbagsblog

Reblogging for the last one cuz that’s adorable

likeits1995

SO PROUD

ghost--ranger

The Fantastic 4 we deserve

crimezi

OMG IVE ONLY SEEN THIS POST IN SCREEN SHOTS

stars-for-thought

We will all protect the small one.

cover-your-ears

I stan

keithiskogained-deactivated2019

it got better!!

babygoose-deactivated20240106

plot-twist: the small one could actually kick everyone’s ass

pumpkin-in-a-pear-tree

THERE’S ART NOW???!?

barbara-lazuli

the feminist 4

evxlution

people who think I’m beautiful:

1. nobody 2. nobody 3. nobody 4. nobody 5. my mom

drizzhled

me: *a hopeless romantic without a single ounce of romance in her life*

scarletdanvvers

PLEASE DO NOT SPOIL SPIDER-MAN FAR FROM HOME.

Respect other people, not everyone can see it right away. Please don’t spoil it.

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thebootydiaries

if I were being murdered I’d probably be too shy to scream

writing-prompt-s

You can bring dead people to live again, but for every person you bring back, you have to sacrifice one body part

feynites

Me: *plucks out another hair*

Sadistic Genie: Okay I know that technically counts but I really feel you’re not getting into the spirit of-

Me: *ceremonially sacrifices hair, very seriously*

Sadistic Genie: Like one time, just once, couldn’t it be a toe or a finger or something?

Me: Oh like how you so graciously go by what people ‘mean’ and not exactly how they’ve phrased things?

Sadistic Genie: …

Me: …

Sadistic Genie: …sometimes I-

Me: Just resurrect them already.

blackaquokat

@forcesensitiveaurawielder Loophooooooole!!!!!

sweetiepie08

Most dust is just dead skin cells, so in theory you could resurrect someone by emptying your vacuum.

tree-of-blue-squirrel

Genie:

me: one ressurection per skin cell counts dude, it´s my body part

Genie:

champagnepadre

*horoscope pops up on my dash* i love this shit so muc… let me read what it says bout me *horoscope is negative* …..this is so ugly and wrong who takes the time to make up lies about me and the moon? disgusting

cullenfucked

ok but imagine watching bella and edward’s relationship from the outside like. ok this new girl moves to school and she starts dating that really weird guy from that really weird family for like. 6 months. and then he leaves her and shes like. really depressed for 6 months. then he comes back and like 6 months later youre invited to their wedding??????? i would be like bitch what the fuck

twodotsknowwhy

And then they go on their honeymoon only to have him come back and be like “oh yeah, she’s dead now, so sad”

scorpio-karma

That sounds like an episode of one of those “True Crime” shows where they know he murdered her but never had the evidence to prove it.

trainingseasons

Friendly reminder that this blog is pro-choice and if you don’t think a woman should have full control of her own body, then kindly unfollow me right now and go to hell

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jee-q

Communication is not about proving a point. It’s about expressing a point. Know the difference

mvictoriafineart

a mosquito bit my neck :( the fucking audacity of that little bastard, that area is reserved for rich mysterious yet endearing vampires

adventurecomics

Evidence against the argument that Superman's disguise wouldn't fool anyone:

jean-kirschtussy

adventurecomics

Dolly Parton once lost a Dolly Parton look alike contest to a fucking drag queen.

Charlie Chaplin once failed to even place at a Charlie Chaplin impersonator contest.

Hugh Jackman went to comic con as Wolverine, only 2 people noticed him and one told him he was too tall.

Christopher Reeve use to go to a restaurant in costume when filming Superman. When he went in the Superman costume he was mobbed by people all the time. When he went in the Clark Kent costume no one realized he was Christopher Reeve.

lifeisfuckingweirdyo

• Robert Downey Jr. got second place in Tony Stark look-alike contest.

yourlesbiandad

*looking in a mirror trying to practice self-love* ur doing great u stupid bitch

coolpassing

Another thing that I hate is the idea that my identity isn’t “age appropriate” for children. Like, my mom described my girlfriend as “a friend of mine” to my 10 year old sister (who unbeknownst to my mom, knows that I am gay have a gf). That shit hurts! It’s really fucking hurtful that people I love think of my being gay as something that children “wouldn’t understand” and should therefore be shielded from. Surprise: children are generally uninterested in the particulars of adult dating/relationships. So if you tell them two people are together they will just take your word for it and not immediately launch into questions about gay sex. Incredible!

jemthecrystalgem

Seriously, dismantle the harmful misconception that same gender relationships are somehow more “adult” than different gender ones

glumshoe

One of my 11 year old campers came out as bisexual one night at camp. “Oh, yeah, I’ve known I like boys since I was nine,” he said. “It’s not big deal. Not like it was back in YOUR day.”

Another 12 year old camper came out as trans one night. All my kids immediately switched to using her chosen name as soon as she explained herself, and then went back to playing Magic.

steeleholtingon

Oh, yeah, this so freaking hard to explain. Me, to my 9 and 12 year old boys: Your cousin Alicia is marrying her girlfriend, Alice. My boys: Okay. Me, when another cousin came out: Hey kids, go clean up your rooms. Josh and his new boyfriend, Jeremy are coming over. Kids: But I don’t WANT to clean my room! Me, when their bisexual cousin John proposed to his girlfriend: Hey kids, John and Jill are getting married. Kids: Okay. Kids: Mom, why doesn’t Sarah date? Me: Because she doesn’t want to. I’ll admit, the conversation about their friend’s dad becoming a woman was a more complex conversation, because it was a great opportunity to talk about gender and biology as separate things, but it ended with:

Hey kids, Katie’s dad, Carl, is now a woman, and she’s called “Charlotte.” Kids: “Cool.” It’s not that hard, people.

blazingjaya

Seriously.

My daughter (age 13) Mum I’m a lesbian and I’m dating Katie.

My son (age 15) ok so I’m asexual and I’m non binary and I really need people to use the right pronouns.

Me: no worries **emails teachers to request they use the correct pronouns**

THIS IS NOT HARD PEOPLE JUST TREAT CHILDREN LIKE HUMAN PEOPLES THEY GET THIS SHIT AND UNDERSTAND IT BETTER THAN YOU DO.

clatterbane

Kids won’t even learn to act weird about this stuff unless adults model that for them. Using children who have no reason to even care as an excuse is several extra levels of messed up.

(See also: “Children are cruel!” Yeah, some of them learn fast. Especially when nasty behavior gets excused and encouraged.)

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gasmeros

i feel like tumblr would expose super heroes secret identities real fast with all its crazy ass jokes

gascreates

nonasuch

Yesterday I overheard someone talking about how he was taking classes at the University of Maryland because they offer free tuition if you’re over 60.

My brain IMMEDIATELY began scripting a screwball comedy in which a broke millennial who desperately want to finish his long-abandoned degree but is drowning in student debt pretends to be a senior citizen in order to attend college for free.

I’m picturing someone Channing Tatumesque, applying age makeup every morning before he heads off to class. It’s sort of a cross between 21 Jump Street and Mrs. Doubtfire. He keeps forgetting which hip is supposed to be his bad one. His classmates laugh every time he uses slang. There’s definitely a scene where he attends a college party and busts it up on the dance floor.

He catches the eye of a fellow returning student, a woman in her 50s, but she thinks he’s like 70 and she’s already buried one husband, you know? She’s not interested in doing that again. When his charade unravels (hilariously) at the end of the movie, though, she finds out he’s actually like 30 and has abs you could bounce a quarter off. And he’s still super into her. And really, maybe it’s time she gave May-December romance a chance.

nonasuch

Okay so to refine this concept a little:

Our Hero is stuck in a job where he keep seeing people get promoted past him because they have a 4-year degree and he doesn’t. He can’t afford to go back to school until he finishes paying off his student loans for the degree he’s one semester from completing. If he got the promotion he wants he could pay them off a lot quicker. But he can’t get the promotion without the degree.

Along comes a clerical error in his almost-alma mater’s records which lists his birth year as 1948 instead of 1984. He gets a call from them about their “free tuition for seniors” program. “Wow, that sounds amazing!” he says. “I’ll be sure to tell my, uh, grandpa, as soon as he gets home.”

It’s one semester. If he can keep up the charade, he’ll have the degree, get the promotion, pay off the student loans. Hell, if they figure it out after the fact and come after him for the tuition, he’ll be able to afford it by then. He just needs to pass as a 70-year-old until graduation. How hard could it be?

(also, someone in the notes suggested “Senior Year” for a title, which is PERFECT.)

willowofthehearth

Holy shitballs.

norcross

yeah i’d totally watch this

wilwheaton

If this hasn’t been optioned, I’m buying the rights.

nonasuch

uhhhhhh I am having a weird night, guys

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