wiktoria

Ive been trying to stop trying to limit on what i eat but i cant help but feel good after not eating much in a day wtf i've never felt like this before

I hate how i can feel my lungs ewewew i want to rip them out im going to freak out

food feels really bland to eat

I dont ever want to get up

I feel like shit

Idk what to do after secondary school i dont want to go to college but i also dont want to get a job or an apprenticeship and its mandatory in my country to do one of these

2 months until summer holidays pls come quicker

Why are people so mean to me irl i hate everyone in my class and i still act kind to all of them yet they treat me like a subhuman. I mask my personality and just try to act like a normal person so i can get treated nice but i still dont get respected. Wtf did i do

I dont know what to do in life. All i've been doing is going on the internet and masturbate. My grades are really bad and i cant be bothered to improve because i know that my efforts will go to waste since i wont get anywhere far in life. My dad kicked me out to move to my mums and doesnt want to talk to me or even cares about me anymore, he only cares if any school or legal trouble i cause is going to get him involved. I feel so bored of life i dont want to live anymore but im too much of a pussy to even kick the chair or something

i want to be myself around people but i just end up looking like a weirdo and i get super embarrassed for months on how the person i was talking to perceived me im so done

I masturbated too much and now it has absolutely no effect on me whenever i finish im done with life

I feel so so bored all of the stuff i have used to feel happy doesnt have much or even any effect on me anymore

This was such a bad time but i kinda miss like a month ago when i was super paranoid, anxious and kept on having panic attacks over thinking that people were watching me and other thoughts. and when i was hallucinating stuff.. 😪😪 but i know that if i start to experience it again i will wish for it to go away and i will have a really bad time again

Really cutting yourself isnt that big of a deal it only starts getting a bit serious once you start cutting to the depths where you're easily prone to infections or where you can hit veins and arteries

Long Angry post Does anyone else who cuts themselves hate 90% of other cutters a lot too. My mum has been cutting herself recently and she acts like its a big deal when she only has 5 small scratches because she wants to copy me or something and wants to act like a poor girl and a victim to what she has been doing, its honestly been pissing me off so much. Besides her, most cutters also just do this shit for attention and have NOTHING wrong with their life and ive seen this a lot with some mean ass bitches in my school who sleep with 10 guys a day, bully everyone who they think is weird and are friends with everyone. I dont hate people who cut up to the epidermis only but i hate how 60% of them are just attention whores who want to post their invisible scars on tiktok. Do you guys not feel ashamed or embarrassed to have scars? I mean i get it if its shtwt or shblr but tiktok..?? really.? When i used to be on shtwt, i used to see some people say that they cut themselves as a fashion aesthetic. Why is this a fashion aesthetic to you? Cutting yourself is gross and feels extremely humiliating going out with scars, i dont think it will be fun anymore once you get tons of unwanted attention, that you'll forever look like some sad depressed faggot and that your scars will be the first thing people will notice about you. "If you think scars are humiliating to go out with and that cutting yourself is gross, why do you still do it?" I still do it because when i first started at 12 years old, i was sad and wanted to try it out to see if it would make me feel better or anything else. i was very retarded and didnt think about my future, but it calmed me down from when i was panicking a lot and super sad about something and made me into a good mood so i kept on doing it. when i was 13 i started going deeper which lead me to getting permanent visible scars. Now i dont really see the point of quitting cutting myself if i already have ugly visible scars and self harm is a good coping mechanism for me that regulates my emotions.

i keep on blowing huge bubbles from bubblegum but its getting in my hair

Im going to rip my face off