Mod's Dusty Book Shelves

Hi everyone, it has been a while. I just want to say how sorry I am for the silence. Work has kicked me for miles, but not as much as the events going on in my home. I can’t say much about some of them cuz there are some court things here and there, but I can honestly say that recently that was resolved and we can breathe easier. One major thing which happened recently made me very emotional...though I tried not to show it to make someone feel bad. My cousin has struggled for a long time with issues that I will not disclose, but let’s just say she woke up after 10 years of struggle and pain. This month for the first time in ages we actually connected and help a conversation. I saw a glimpse of the little cousin I once knew though older. I was frustrated with her for the longest time I will admit, but only because I couldn’t help her and it hurt me when she refused it. There were fights, there were screams and tears...there were things I was not willing to bring up with friends, because they had their own stuff to deal with. There legal issues, crazy ex boy friends (my cousin’s), and losses over the pass few months. Money issues came up once more and I became more of the “D” word than when the whole thing last year started. I was up and down all year and it has continued to follow me this year. But when my cousin reconnected and we actually shared laughs, I choked back tears. Even with all the dung that was dealt with all year with melt downs, legal junk and money issues....to see a glimmer of hope with in my family that is somehow getting better...it made up for a lot of hardships. I also have been trying to stay sane with constant games, gardening, art and other things on the side when I am not exhausted from work. One of my flaws is that I try not to tell people too much about what is going on, because I don’t want them to worry or feel sorry for me. I would rather if they think everything is okay. I am very surface level and I hate opening up usually. I am sorry for the majority I have been silent, but I want you to all know that I am alright and I plan on seeing a psychologist after the world somewhat goes back to normal. I need to get my junk together to function better in this crazy world....thank you for reading. 

Happy new year I guess. Not that it matters.