Your self-care monster

MY FAV IG ATM: @NICOLESNEUROSCIENCE

I struggle IMMENSELY with my mental health even till this day.

I’m currently reprogramming my brain to not operate on a default survival mode. I don’t have to hustle. I don’t have to grind. I am training my brain to relax for the first time in over 20 years. It’s a process.

My struggles with mental health issues is what pushed me to get a Ph.D in Neuroscience. There’s so many factors of our everyday 3D reality that play apart in the trauma we sort of self inflict onto our brain. Climate change, inflation, even the pandemic for example. Long term stress inflicts trauma onto the brain.

I’ve been hesitant about having a urTOOspoiled IG account but I love the simple infographics that allow me to immediately take in the information and apply it without being overwhelmed with information.

I would love to do the same thing since most of my advice is based on data, stats and resources I’ve read in books or on the internet.

Idk though. In the meantime, back to my hidey hole.

wild mood swings

constant need for attention

hearing about All my problems

crying

having my latest hyperfixation explained to you in excruciating detail

The Mammal List is something I came up with when I was in a mental health intensive outpatient program four(!!) years ago. The premise is that we are at our core animals, and if I consider myself the way I’d consider a pet cat, I’m much more likely to practice good self-care:

1. Mammals need food. Eat something! If the Hellbeast doesn’t pass judgment on a piece of cheese, neither should you. (She also eats anything small enough to fit in her mouth, so be judicious in that respect. Food is good. Lint is not.)

2. Mammals need hydration. Drink something! It doesn’t have to be water. It could be delicious tuna juice. You’re a discerning creature. I trust you. 

3. Mammals need sleep. Make a soft nest and let yourself enjoy it. Knead it until it’s comfortable. Let yourself rest as long as you need. Just existing is hard. You’ve earned a break. 

4. Mammals need movement. Take your precious body and do something. Don’t hurt yourself. Be kind.

5. Mammals need stimulation. Treat yourself to a new jingle ball or mousie toy. Get a bird feeder and stare at it. Let yourself really enjoy it. Play is in your nature.

6. Mammals need socialization. I know this one is particularly difficult these days, but if you don’t keep reaching out, you’re going to forget yourself and start biting people. 

7. Mammals need cleanliness. Nobody likes scooping the litterbox, but it has to be done. Don’t forget your own body. Make your fur shine. Treat yourself as the luminous creature you are. 

There are going to be menopausal cis mums who are on the same brand of estrogen patch as you who are gonna join you in griping about getting them to stick and swapping tips for when you get dispensed the big patches but your dose is half that.

There are going to be infertile cis women who share your pain and anger at the concept that 'able to bear children' is seen as the only 'real' way to be a woman.

There are gonna be intersex cis women who understand what it's like to have your body's default state not line up with societal expectations.

I was having a lot of dysphoria about my upper lip hair suddenly having color to it (medicine side effect it seems). So I was internally wondering if they'd ostracize me since they'd clocked me.

One of the women goes "oh it's okay, I have PCOS too. Don't let it bother you." And suddenly I've got 3 women chatting with me and lamenting how they have to "shave almost every day at this point" and just cackling. The store worker joined in, saying she plucks constantly, and her "transgender friend has to shave 2 or more times a day!". They all had these genuine reactions and "oh no, poor girl" and other comments.

I felt included. I never mentioned that I was transgender.. I just carried on, they helped me pick out wines, gave me some tips on undertones for makeup to cover facial hair stubble, and I got the shop worker to pull out some elderflower liqueur to add to a small sample of a Pinot Grigio (and got more people to try it and add it to their rotation. Seriously, try it sometime. It's incredible).

I had had this job for a couple of months, and while I was working I was told we had a stage coming in later to see how they fit in. I say great and go on my break. When I come back, the potential hire is there... And she's a coworker from a couple jobs ago (like two or three years previous). We both slowly point at each other and go "Aren't you... ?" Before laughing and reintroducing ourselves. I go "Sooo I'm a girl now," and she laughs and tells me "Yeah I can tell." We spend some time catching up, and we work great together, and she gets hired.

she also gave her a list of things that would help with the bodily transition while on estrogen, from good bras, general breast health tips (not even just lump checks - how to deal with friction or rashes underneath the breasts, how to get properly fitted for a bra, etc.) and just - general stuff a mother would do for a daughter going through puberty.

A trans woman joined and made a post about feeling like a fraud and worried she shouldn't be there and that she was invading a space she didn't belong

I decided to create something that I wish I had when I first got diagnosed with autism - so here’s my comic for ASDComicTakeover! You can find out more about the project here!