Ministry

Bpd cycle

as a person who can’t handle intimacy, is too terrified of rejection to be in a relationship, often completely cuts contact with people out of fear that they’ll get sick of me and who is a general fool with paranoia issues- i really do say “i want a partner” very fucking often

AM I JUST NOT ENOUGH???

I put myself out there and get hurt each time I do. What's the fucking point. I show my love I show my heart and pour everything in and get nothing in return. Absolutely nothing. I try and try again for nothing. And if I'm lucky I get my love manipulated and abused. I wanna be seen as something more than just an opportunity to lead on and see if you're ready for anything more. I wanna be seen as something more than just someone to make you feel really good and euphoric and get my love taken advantage of. I get it, what I put out can be scary. And maybe too much. My attachment, my obsession and especially my love is very strong, and I've never met someone who's loved me the way I love them. But, maybe don't lead me on. Maybe don't feed me stupid fucking lies of how you wanna learn more about my condition. How you wanna love me until I love myself. How you want me to be happy.

I can’t think of anything but you.