so far (it's alright).

He’d been pushed to the surface, leaving him no place left to hide as his wounds were fresh and open for anyone to be able to touch but since that moment, Cain had resolved to pull himself back in and leave nothing to slip out again. Even as his body groaned beneath the weight of her arms wrapped around him, Cain didn’t fight it this time. They weren’t talking. They weren’t even friends, knowing that he wasn’t the type of person that anyone could want to be around when he was stuck like this, he went rigid for a moment before slowly holding her in close and tucking her in close. Her words were almost lost if it weren’t for the silence that hung around him much longer than anyone else in this town, except possibly her, as he frowned. There was no moving forward for him, not when he refused to let go of the past and things that were out of his control, none of that changed who he’d become almost too easily to believe that he wasn’t this man the whole time. Instead of saying anything, he pressed a soft kiss atop her head as if wanting her to stop talking, stop trying, and to just let him go but he knew that she wouldn’t even after everything he’d put her through.

The tension bled out of her shoulders as he returned her embrace, her fear that he’d push her away yet again at least for the moment dissipating against the solid warmth of his chest, his arms around her, and maybe it didn’t mean much, but it meant something, and it felt a little like progress. For what felt like too long, she allowed herself to enjoy the moment, absorbing everything that finally, for the first time in forever, felt right, before finally stepping back, her hand remaining on his shoulder. “C’mon, at least let me clean up your eye and get some ice on it, get the swellin’ to go down. Yeah?” She gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze, trying to keep her tone sounding unaffected.

There it was again, the disappointment that would have brought a better man to his knees in forgiveness but he clung to his numbness to the point where he didn’t know how to function without it. It dulled everything, right down to the press of her fingers against his face where he could only feel the barest of touches. “Del     you can’t save me. I ain’t comin’ back from this.” 

She sighed, her breath shaking and shuddering--she thought she was stronger than this, stronger than wanting to break down each time she saw that look in his eye, that dull, far away gaze that meant he’d tuned out, pushed everything back, shoved everything he felt aside. “How many times do I have tell you I’m not tryin’ to save you?” Despite knowing it might hurt him, or that it might be unwelcome, she threw her arms around him. Even if he shoved her away, at least he’d know that, at least to her, he meant something. “It’s not about comin’ back, it’s about movin’ forward,” she mumbled into his shoulder, not even entirely sure he’d heard her.

“Yeah, you. I’m serious.” Lex nodded, smiling slightly. She shook her head, fighting back a laugh, “All people are great subjects, don’t worry about that.”

“Oh, well, I--I s’ppose if you want, I can’t really say no. What’s it for, some kinda project?”

It was the only answer he had for her right then, even as he knew that he should only turn away and leave her on the outskirts of his life, her fingers pulled him back in as he let her inspect his face. Of course she would think it was her fault, everything that he did nowadays was, but it didn’t make it any easier to answer with a nearly hoarse reply. “I let it out.”

“Oh,” she sighed, all fear and resignation and disappointment, her fingers brushing softly over his face, his eye swollen shut, dried blood on his lip, her heart in her throat. Part of her wanted to ask how, ask why, to press and pry, but it would only push him away.“---... C’mon, let’s--let’s go get you cleaned up, yeah?”

“Not now, Del. Not right now.”

“That’s not an answer.” She reached up, hands gently, hesitantly resting on the sides of his face, eyes searching, carefully assessing the damage. “What did you do?”

Will: Time flies when you're watching Netflix.

It’s nothin’.

“Oh my God, Cain, what happened?”

“Uh—okay, okay, gimme a sec! —…. Blue, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, kale chips, reading, Wharton Creek. Did I do okay? Did I miss anything?”

I wasn’t even lonely for someone like that, I just wished I had someone with me, which I do now. She chuckled. Lucky me. You know where we’re going to get that giant toy? The High Striker. We’re gonna put those giant guns of yours to use. 

“Are we back to this again? C’mon, Tess. You want me to go show off my strength so you can fall in love with me all over again or somethin’?”

“Just…several customers at the diner. If I didn’t have to bite my tongue or worry about gettin’ fired for sayin’ something, I sure will threaten a few of ‘em.”

“Oh, yeah, definitely. Y’know if anyone gives you any trouble I’ll have a word with ‘em, yeah?”