dig a lil' deeper

—

The past was a constant reminder to Sofia that her life seemed to be a succession of relationships gone wrong, only to be turned into good friendships. In a way, on the days she didn’t feel quite like herself, it made the Alpha wonder if she would ever be able find herself happy in a relationship. Some of her past relationships didn’t understand how she needed to prioritize her pack, even before becoming an Alpha… and, the only one that seemed to fully understand her so far, had been Zoey, who, she would always be grateful for. “Ah, to be young and naive.” Sofia quipped, good humor streaming down her lips as the words floated away. “Life was much easier back then.” She said while settling in a defensive stand, so they could begin their sparring. “Less responsibilities, less bills to pay…” Sofia chuckled yet again, before spotting a minor breach in Zoey’s defense and trying to take advantage of it. Knowing her opponent like she did, it probably wouldn’t mean much. “Is this your way of saying you’d like me around more often? Because I could be tempted to say yes.”

—

“What do you mean to be young and naïve as if we’re already old and past our prime,” she pointed out with a crooked smile as she waited for the other to come into the ring and join her. She’d been up there long enough to be warmed up after she’d trained another couple beforehand but none of them would be able to hold their own as much as Sofia. Now there was someone that she’d practically grown up with in more ways than one as she watched them climb into the ring and lifted her arms into a defense point as they began to spar. “There was plenty of responsibilities back then, but we ignored them to the best of our ability — I’m pretty sure that I still would if I could.” She swung at the other, only looking to get them moving on their feet before they too swung back and attempted to get her open side before she bounced backwards onto the heels of her feet. “Don’t put words into my mouth, Bodden. It’s more of a general invitation that we as a general community would love to see more of you here, not just me,” she teased but even as she swung at the other, Zoey meant every word. There was no one else that she would rather have at the gym with her day in and day out than the other. “So you know, if you want to make a bunch of people happy to see you all the time then yeah, maybe consider picking up some shifts here. I might even let you win a round or two.”

—

“Children. I think the word you’re looking for is children.” Liv chuckled under her breath but she admired her friend all the same, she knew she would never have it in her to be tied to an actual group of people and look after them, too. Taking care of others also came naturally to her, or maybe it was a learned behavior after she’d spent her childhood making sure her brother was alright. Either way, Liv could merely focus on a select few. When Zoey picked up on her attention wandering to her phone every once in a while, she grimaced slightly. “And here I thought your opinion of me was better than that. I’m wounded.” She scoffed. “I’ll have you know I do have a life outside of this.” Gesturing at her books with a glower, Liv did finally leave her desk and slipped her phone into her pocket. “If doing the bare minimum counts as being dolled up, then yeah, I am.” Liv chuckled at her impatience. “Fine. Just let me grab my bag and coat.”

—

“You would think but most of them are grown adults, yet they continue to act otherwise.” But it was what made the hardest parts of the job all the more worthwhile when she knew that there was a point to it all. She could do her best to keep them as safe as possible and they would push the limits, yet it would always keep at it no matter what. Her love for the pack only grew stronger over the years and continued that way, even the ones that didn’t know if the pack was their home yet or not. Zoey laughed. “My opinion is truthful and if it hurts, well then, suck it up buttercup and let’s go. All I want tonight is food and maybe a margarita or two. Something to really take an edge off this week and we can’t do that if we’re constantly sitting here among your book friends,” she pointed out with a smile, blindingly bright in order to get the other to move a bit faster. “You are a doll and a peach and drop dead gorgeous, dressed up or not. Come on, let’s go. I’m starving here and you wouldn’t like me when I’m hangry. I become a real beast.”

Anxiety was still in their stomach, raging, feverish, and they wondered about what she knew, although they figured all she did know was that they were bound to have a past. Most people who came to Zoey had a past, most people who came to Astoria had a past. So much of it was terrible, so much was hidden because talking about it hurt. Raine worried that sharing meant people would realise they weren’t worth it. “Ah, just… figure I can keep my head straighter if I don’ drink.” Lie. It was because they used it to run away from what they were feeling, if they couldn’t, they would be forced to deal with it. They nodded at Zoey, as she spoke, they wondered who she was referring too. Aleyna for one, they hadn’t told many why they were leaving, if they even had told them that they were. They took a sip from the ice tea. “Thanks, Zo,” they said, biting down on their lip. “I know… I know… s just that explaining it…” They paused, looked into the glass. “Do ye knew that I tell them… tell them all why I left?” 

—

Zoey nodded. She understood well enough, maybe not exactly but there had been a time and place in her life where she was content to take it off the rails and stay there after her father’s passing. If it hadn’t been for the people in her life, she could have been anywhere by now rather than standing there and keeping another watchful eye on those that she cared about the most. And that included Raine. Whatever they had been through before Astoria, she knew that they needed a place to feel safe — they all did. “I only told them what they needed to know, which is that you needed time and space to be on your own and that you’d come back if this was even closely resembling home to you one day.” Hadn’t that been the case for a few other pack members, herself included? “It’s up to you what you want to tell them or not. But I know I respond better to honesty.”

▬

Arching an eyebrow, he chuckled. “With the promise of heading back to bed together you could even take me to the moon with little to no effort, Martinez.” A wink before his gaze moved down, grabbing his mug of coffee and taking a sip from his hot beverage. “If there’s one person that I know that’s capable of making those new wolves grow sure of themselves, that person would be you, and maybe the alpha from Ríos pack too.” The latter was mostly a joke, though he was certain that that person was definitely a great alpha too. After all, having a member of the council as an Elder in your pack comes with a lot of pressure. “Everything that we have to experience for the first time comes with all of our fears and the assumption that we’ll fail. Soon you’ll just have another member in your pack that knows of what they are capable of. I’m sure,” he stated, kissing her neck. “So, when you said beast in the shower… was it in a positive way? Or should I be concerned?” It was part of his nature to tease her, it was even better to know that now he could do it. There was nothing between themselves, not even their own stubbornness that led to their previous breakup. “Because if it’s in a positive manner, I think I have some time to spare before I need to go through my appointments for the day.”

—

Zoey shook her head barely, trying not to take herself too far away from the cup of coffee that she had clutched in her hands as if were the most precious thing in her life. Not that it was true, but she enjoyed that thought for a second before her smile was there because of the other person in the kitchen with her. A sight that she couldn’t get enough of even though she knew that he was bound to go home at some point, because he too had a life to get back to even if she could close her eyes and pretend that they only had each other and this house. “Maybe not so far as the moon is necessary, just a few stairs and a hallway,” she replied with a tease before she took another sip of her coffee. “Though you keep talking like that and it’s going to sound like the front door is a lot closer than the bedroom if you think someone’s better than me at handling my pack.” She let out a laugh then, joking with him as far too easy these days when everything felt like it fit back into place even as they attempted to take things slowly. It was moving faster than that, but she wasn’t about to complain as she leaned into the touch of his lips against her neck. He was making it harder to think straight with every kiss as she leaned up to kiss him once against the jaw. “You should always be concerned when it comes to me but I think I could go gentle on you this one time. But only if you think you can make enough time for me before these so called appointments because there’s a strong chance that if you do stick around, then you might be more than a little late to them.”

Where: Snow Mountains area

With: @zomartinez

“I’m glad I get to do this with you,” Tuah turned towards his companion for the day, a smile on his lips, “it’s difficult to find time these days to go on a climb, so I’m glad that we finally manage to free our schedule.” He felt like he and Zoey had been talking about going on an adventure together, but they were too busy with their day-to-day schedule that it was hard to plan. When the opportunity finally arose, he made sure that nothing got in their way.

They went on a hike across the Snow Mountain, enjoying the beautiful scenery that the park could offer before arriving to their destination. Tuah wanted to enjoy their outing to the fullest, since it wasn’t often that both of them got to spend time together these days. “So, what have you been up to these days?” He started to make small talk as they prepared their climbing gear, “anything interesting happened?”

            “It’s about time,” she teased lightly as they finally made it through the length of the hike towards the destination that she was sure they had finally made before they climbed the rest of the way up. It had taken a lot of strings pulled to ensure that both the pack and the gym were taken care of so that she could take the day off with Tuah. Not to mention that she wanted to make sure that her phone was off for the entire time that they were together as well. The last thing that she wanted was for them to have to cancel, again when it took so long for their schedules to sync up as well as they had for today.

―

“We both clearly think spending time with each other is fun, so that’s what matters, really.” Eyes exuded warmth, but she shot Zoey a mock-glare for her gesture of poking at her books and shutting them straight away. “Doesn’t hurt to have one’s preferences challenged a little every now and then. That being said, my ex definitely took that too far. All I wanted was something greasy and terrible for me after exams, not culinary foam.” She said, eyes rolling at the memory. Liv understood Zoey’s comment regarding quantity over quality in the sense that she didn’t grow up with much money, fancy restaurants were usually off limits. She had her grandmother’s cooking instead, which was pure comfort food, and something she’d pick any day over restaurants, if she had the option.

“You have a pack house? That sounds busy.” She commented, revealing she didn’t know all that much about packs and how they lived together. “But I might take you up on the offer. There’s only so much food I can bring to the office.” Liv’s phone was right next to a stack of articles, and she glanced down at it before peering at Zoey again, a knowing smirk working its way to her eyes. “You’re a terrible influence. I was mentally prepared to doll up, and now I just want to be lazy and order in.”

—

Zoey shrugged. “It is, mostly because it’s always full of a few people that have little regard for cleaning up after themselves when they act like it’s their own place rather than a mutual meeting ground.” Or a place that they could stay when they needed it. So most of the time when Zoey was there, it was often picking up after the others and making sure they didn’t kill each other too. Though even as she spoke and picked through the stacks of books on the other’s desk, she noticed the other looking at their phone. “Are you expecting a call? Did you schedule someone else on the same night that we were supposed to hang out? I’d be upset if I didn’t have James on the back burner for when you inevitably drop me for a book or two,” she teased with a roll of her eyes. “You’re already dolled up. Let’s go grab something to eat before I do end up chewing on one of these books.”

—

“Oh, that’s right! My bad… I totally confused you with another hot ex of mine whom I can’t live without. Zola, her name.” Sofi fired back, all in good nature. She and Zoey were far more than just exes that had ended in good terms, and that alone, was something that needed no introduction nor description for them. They understood the depth of their bond, and Sofia could only speak for herself, but in so many ways, it felt like breaking up was the best thing that had ever happened to them, because it made them so much more. “Isn’t it funny to you? How pups think they’re ones to beat us because they’re younger?” And it seemed to be the other way around with wolves, because they seemed to get a tighter grasp of their control with age. Sofia finished prepping everything and joined Zoey at the rink, stretching her limbs for a moment there, before she put her hands up to set up her guard. “Not much has happened since we’ve spoken last, though…” The younger woman shared. “Mostly me trying to figure out what to do next, really… because this whole sabbatical thing is not working out for me the way I wanted it to.”

—

         “Only you would exclusively date from the back end of the alphabet and still manage to forget me over everyone else,” she countered, grinning at the other’s expression and the way that she often felt when the other was around. It was always bringing her back to when they had been teenagers, something that she had yet to fully understand the connection, but was forever grateful for what they had created between them. “We were just like them, once. I seem to remember someone who thought they could take the world on by storm and tried to do just that. That was until we ran right up to her mother and then it was game over for the both of us.” Zoey laughed then, moving backwards to warm up a bit more as she waited for Sofia to join her in the ring before turning back to face them. “I’m not sure anyone knows what they can expect when they take a sabbatical, it’s kind of why they take them. But hey, if you need something to fill the hours — we could always use another personal trainer to help fill out the schedule.”

▬

“Oh, straight up to the shower!” he amended to her words. There was a playfuly tone alongside a grin over his lips seconds prior to kissing her skin. “I already took a shower this morning, but I wouldn’t mind taking another one. You know, for the sake of keeping you company… I’m that selfless,” unlike usual days, he was in a good mood. He was trying to focus on the positive sides of his life, not the worries that would come along his job and had been haunting him ever since last year. “Coffee for my beautiful woman, then.” Though it was hard letting go of being near her, he did so, taking a cup for herself and pouring some warm coffee to Zoey, handing it to her. “I know. I just hope everything is alright. I don’t mind waiting,” because it meant, eventually she would be there. “But it is nicer when I wake up to you, of course.”

▬

           “Coffee first or I’m liable to be more beast in the shower than I’d like,” she replied with a small laugh as she happily took the coffee cup from James as she made sure to steal a quick kiss as well. It was always wanting to have one more after the last, because in the back of her mind was the quiet but solid realization that there was always that chance that it could be the last again. It wasn’t in her control should the world make a mess of itself again as she smiled at him. “I promise that to be the case next time, even if that means waking you up and dragging you out of bed to go with me so that we can go back to bed together again.” She let out a small sigh then, taking a sip of the much needed coffee that was about to fix a few things that had gone. sideways with her earlier morning. “Everything will be. You know how it is when someone’s new to shifting. They have so many worries and questions and fears, and it was a ledge that they needed a hand to hold and pull them back off again.”

Raine nodded. They always felt like the things Zoey said she said in a general sense because she knew they would be listening. She didn’t just say it to talk about how the pack was as a whole, but to shine light on the fact that they still belonged there. Raine knew she meant it, it didn’t matter that their brain tried to convince them that it meant nothing, that it wasn’t true, that there was no healing within the pack, not for them. “Nah, ice tea sounds good, I’m trying to… drink less.” They grinned, because clearly that wasn’t going to be working well, wasn’t it. They shrugged. “Yeah, wouldnea have believed it either,” they offered. Raine bit their lip and waited for the drink, a knot of anxiety settling in their stomach. They had returned, they had taken the first step and they knew they should take several more. But right now there was a question on their lips that they knew they didn’t even have to ask. But they did. “Am I welcome back in the pack?”

―

She nodded, moving towards her fridge to grab the pitcher of iced tea that had been in there the past few days since she’d made it. Two glasses made it an easy pour with a few extra cubes of ice before she offered the one glass to Raine and kept the other for herself. “What spurred that on, if I may ask? If you don’t want to talk about it, I get it. But I hope that you know I’m here to listen” She hadn’t known all that Raine had gone through previous to joining the pack, but supported him nevertheless because she knew that most came to her when they didn’t think they belonged anywhere else. They were often proven wrong, finding more than friends in the pack but a family. And one that she wouldn’t give up for the world as she smiled at him with a bit of a nod before she set the glass aside. “You always have a place in the pack. It was never not yours. It might take a few of the others to fully welcome you back, but that’s because they don’t understand why you had to leave in the first place. I can help, but I think it might be best if you speak with them individually too. They care about you too. Not just me.” 

—

There had always been something very homey and familiar about the boxing gym. Maybe because she used to go there growing up, before Zoey was granted ownership, before it grew to be this incredible place. Sofia smiled as she entered the gym, holding her bag over her shoulder and gaze going straight to the woman herself, the one that had been able to turn Sofia’s world upside down in the past. “Wait… are you trying to say that you’ve missed me so much, you want to punch me?” The other woman teased as she leaned in to peck Zoey’s cheek. “Aw, I’m so touched. Seems like a fair trade.” Dropping her bag on the floor, Sofia grabbed the boxing wraps from inside it and started rolling them around her hands, eventually going for the gloves Zo had offered and picking up a pair. “What happens if I can’t keep up? You’ll fill me in on what’s been going on with you instead?”

—

             “Who me?” She grinned at the other, as if the accusation was anything but preposterous that they had any sort of relationship over the years that would bring her to hitting the other. Maybe a few times over the years but ultimately, Zoey would always have a place in her heart for the other as she leaned into the chaste kiss with a laugh. “I think you’ve got me confused with someone else. I just need someone that can keep up with me a lot longer than the rest of these pups that think they have what it takes to go toe to toe in here.” Especially on the days when she needed to work through some of her frustrations. Most of the time it was with another Alpha or a vampire, those that could keep up but she enjoyed being able to not have to worry about hitting too hard in times like that as she rolled her shoulders out while she waited for the other to wrap up and join her. “My life? You know that hasn’t changed much in the past few years. I would rather take you down and then make you tell me what’s going on with you instead,” she teased.

―

“I believe there is more than one definition of fun. Maybe ours just don’t match.” She said with a shrug, but a soft laugh was quick to follow at the sight of Zoey’s grin. “A man who cares about the important things in life, I see.” She teased, but meant every word, eating was absolutely more than a necessity to Liv, too. “I make more than I can handle, and while I love Tuah, having a vampire for a neighbor slightly spoiled my plans of sharing my food.” She admitted with a sigh, one more glance sweeping across her desk before she got up from it and grabbed her phone. “I can call and ask if they’ve still got a table for us. If not, I’m not all that opposed to takeout tonight myself.”

―

▬

It had been awhile ever since James woke up, from a quick shower to heading to her kitchen; familiar places that he was glad to once again walk around knowing they were slowly — or maybe not so slowly — going back to what they used to be. His light hues were focused at the coffee brewing in front of him, when James heard the noises that soon offered her presence in the same room. “Once an early riser, always an early riser. I wish I could have stayed in bed for longer than I did. Your bed is so comfortable,” his hand, reached for her waist pulling her closer to gently place a kiss over her neck. “Everything okay? Coffee?” He questioned.

―

The smell of coffee mixed with James was more than enough to bring an exhausted smile to her features as she paused in the kitchen despite the earlier thought to take a shower first thing when she returned. Part of her was regretful that she hadn’t been able to make it back in time to join him in bed, but it was a nice sight to see with him still standing in the kitchen as she leaned into his touch. “I should warn you, I smell,” she teased lightly with a hum of approval when she felt his lips against her neck. “Yes and yes, please. I don’t want to think about anything else for a few hours at least.” Zoey smiled over her shoulder, gazing up at him as she pressed her hand against the one wrapped around her waist. “Know that I wouldn’t have left if it wasn’t an emergency.”

Liv watched the other from the corner of her eye, determined to finish just one more task before she would have put her work aside anyway, she didn’t want to be rude. But once down a rabbit hole, there usually wasn’t any stopping her until she snapped out of it herself. That, or her mind would occasionally beg for a break. “Has it ever occurred to you I actually enjoy this? Really. I do this for fun.” She deadpanned, but amusement tugged at her lips soon enough. “Manipulative, but fair. I could eat.” Her smile grew as she dropped her pen, quick to organize books and articles into neat piles. “And I’m glad you called.” She added. “I kinda want sushi. Is it bad I still haven’t been to that sushi bar in Hearthstone Bay? People keep raving about it at work.”

―