Blessed

Years ago I longed and begged for so many things that have come to pass, things that have become a part of my life. And none of them came how I thought and none of them look the way I would have dreamed. But it still fulfilled, years and years and years later. And the gratitude I feel stir in me when I take that moment to see that... its so magical.

I am a firm believer that my Gods slowly unfurl my future for me, whether my dreams are premonitions of their plans or whether they fulfill my dreams is beyond me. But I see them in every turn of luck, in every bolt of inspiration, in every rush of accomplishment and happiness when i follow the path they laid out.

I cant explain to people that I feel my God prepared my house for me. That a million threads were set in place to weave to this line where I live in a family friends childhood home and do himna favor as well. I cant explain it bc it implies some sort of exchange, some earning, someone who was left Without because my Gods bestowed on me.

And truly it's something more simple and something more complicated. I feel that the hardships were laid in place too, not to punish, but because those times were nessecary. I stumbled through the course they set, them following along behind me watching as I trip abd fall off course and fight my way through the weeds. They don't leave, but follow behind, they urge and they step back and they simply art - all at once.

Despite all our collected efforts, having ring retrieval scuba guy look for two hours, the ring is still somewhere in the lake.

As i stood in the water watching the scuba diver I prayed so hard. I had made offerings and I had begged. As I stood and the sun dappled and reflected up onto me I felt Apollo come to hold my hand and, in my human way, I asked him if the ring would come back (no) and in the wordless ways we humans do, I asked him why.

Apollo, bright and shining and bringer of truth, simply said "Not Everything Is A Lesson".

Its so easy to ascribe meaning to every little thing, to see the world as a message to decipher, to find blame and turn it towards ourselves in its absence.

In my human way I had asked, without words, what does this mean? (Nothing) What did I do wrong? (Wore your ring in the lake) is this a prophecy? (No) Are you mad at me? (No)

Things happen and have no meaning. Profound and deeply symbolic things happen and the only lesson to be learned is that is not always a lesson (except to not wear jewelry while swimming in a lake)

And already I am looking for the lesson again, because humans need to learn from everything and its easy to learn the wrong thing. While losing my ring was not Divine Punishment, it was a lesson in how the people who love me will show up for me when I need them. A lesson in managing emotions and coping with loss.