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into the unknown

tänään mun jossain chatissa mietittiin, että mitenhän vaipuis tosi synkkään uneen (siis ihan leikillään tää lähti). joku googlas jotain tommosta, ja vastaan tuli bloggerin blogipostaus, jota ei ollu julkaistu vastikään, jonka otsikossa kysyttiin tuollaista. sit ihmiset vähän nauro et "hehe olipa ranttaamista" mut ei onneks ihan hirveesti, ku samaistuin siihen postaukseen niin paljon, mutten viittiny sanoo sitä.

yeah my tumblr suck. back here after a while. sorry about it.

hi tumblr people. should i be more active here?

dear diary, i haven't been on tumblr for a while. a lot of things have happened. my job ended. i feel like one of my friends doesn't like me anymore. and i broke up with boyfriend. and it has been quite difficult to deal with. after our break up i still lived with him for one and a half month. and to be honest, i've been drunk, like, most of the time. i just couldn't deal with it. i couldn't be at home with him. and at 7 or 8 o'clock at night, where would you go other than a bar? at least in here. yeah, so, being at home with him was awful. but i got an apartment! i moved here today. and in a way i'm so very relieved. but he doesn't seem ok and i'm scared. things are weird. i also got a job offer. it's rather good. not a place where i would like to work for the rest of my life but it would bring me (quite a lot of) money so at least i could buy a couch and a table and, you know, food. i'm rather excited about living alone for the first time in my life. but still. breaking up with someone you care about is awful. wouldn't recommend (well, of course if you want to break up, like we both actually did).

i have spent the evening reading about ellen page and watching her coming out speech and crying because i love her so much. it's weird to think that i have loved her for 11 years or so (i think it was 2008 when i first saw juno). and the love hasn't decreased. yesterday i was telling my friends about the tales of the city and how ellen page is in it and they were like "i think i have heard that name before." how can anyone be so perfect.

oon aika varma et kukaan, edes mun poikaystävä ei tykkää musta.

i want to die