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@degranulating
hey this blog is gonna be inactive indefinitely. thereās not much to say about my transition these days (which is really nice tbh) and iām just really busy now. the blog is staying up as an archive but i wonāt be responding to messages on this account. my main is @hypermxbile if you arenāt following me there or want to talk to me.
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i love how much power i have over cis people. i could tell a cis person that itās transphobic to make fun of guys with bad facial hair because they might be trans and they would be like āhmmm that sounds fishy but i guess i have to accept it so he still thinks iām wokeā
ever had a transphobe go out of their way to be transphobic at you
like fuck off if you donāt like trans people then whatever i canāt make you but why go out of your way to whine at us you arenāt gonna change anyoneās mind lol
i love that one old timey 1910s trans dude who has a tiny wikipedia page for himself that he earned entirely due to him starting fights in bars and being the cityās hottest casanova
i mightve remembered it wrong but it still feels like half of this page isĀ āIām A Man For Fucks Sakeā and the other half isĀ āThat Motherfucker Is In Jail Again And Also Bit A Copā
oh my GOD this is the best list
ā ā[DEADNAME] Again"Ā āĀ
Like this glorious jerk got arrested so many times that was literally ALL THEY HAD TO WRITE IN THE PAPER
He was a vagrant street kid and Seattle girls were all over this guy, to the point where it caused a moral panic. Thereās a famous anecdote about a women proclaiming her love in Denny Park and then trying to shoot herself, but most of these reports were falsely worded in a way that suggest his female admirers were āupset about being deceivedā when really they were upset that he was wooing other women, or trying to get his attention by being as extra as possible.
What you also should know is that back in the dayĀ āseductionā was a literal crime that could put you in prison (unless you married the woman you seduced) but since he wasnāt cis they couldnāt really CHARGE HIM with anything. Legend.
I especially like āSeattle Woman Appears in Menās Clothes Because She Says Her Features Make it Possible.āĀ I canāt imagine anything but someone goingĀ āHey!Ā You canāt dress like that!ā and him respondingĀ āOh yes I can.Ā You see, I look veryĀ good.ā
iāve been needing to get set up with a new therapist here and iāve been weirdly anxious about it for months. iām rly proud of myself because i finally got my shit together and i just emailed a guy. iām kind of excited because he specializes in trans stuff and most of what i need help with is trans stuff. and iām gonna need someone to write letters soon. iāll need 2 letters for my hysto and 2 for any bottom surgery for my insurance company to pay for it. i know my old therapist at home will write them, though i might need to see her again for the new letters (and my mom sees her now too so). but i needed someone for the others.
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questions men should ask themselves more often
- am i being unnecessarily forceful/loud?
- am i talking over others? are those others mostly women?
- why does this person feel like that? how can i acknowledge their feelings?
- does she seem comfortable around me? if not, why?
- am i devaluing women as a joke/when they make me angry? am i insulting womenās appearance and sanity whenever they make me angry?
- am i listening to other peopleās knowledge/experiences or am i only talking about my own? how can i share my knowledge/experiences in a respectful way that doesnāt monopolize conversation or infantalize others (primarily women)?
i made some trans lesbian and trans gay flags!
i overlayed the flags together and got some pretty flag colors!
by Cary Gabriel Costello
From Helen Boydās great blog on gender variance.
New concept: Lets support all trans people and not just the ones we find attractive.
oh big mood
i find it absolutely fucking bonkers that in a lot of top surgery before/after collages ive seen the guyās nipples are censored pre-surgery but not post surgery because theyre Not Breasts Anymore
they dont replace the nipples. its the same two fucking nipples as before. literally the exact same nipples. its so fucking wild this is the society we live in
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u know when u have a cis professor talking like they know everything there is to know about gender and trans people and medical transition and u literally die on the spot
oh hey what app do you use to test your voice? the purple one
this one!Ā link is for the app store but iām pretty sure itās available on android. you just read a piece of text the app gives (or just talk for about a minute) and it analyzes your voice. itās pretty neat and i wish i found it sooner.Ā
open letter to the website tumblr.com
theres forms of transphobia and words for transphobes other thanĀ āt/erfāĀ
the appointment with the new endo went well. i really like him.Ā he did the whole initial appointment where he looked at my therapistās letter and asked me about my childhood and dysphoria and all. and he was likeĀ āwhatās your sexualityā early in the appointment. and iām still skeptical about doctors asking me that, especially in this context, because i know a lot of doctors get weird about gay trans people. so i was likeĀ āuhh, idk, iām in no rush to figure everything out :)ā. which is a little bit true. like iām sure iām gay but at the same time iām mixed up because dysphoria is a thing. iām getting labs and going back in a month. when my pellets run out iām probably going back on shots. he said he normally does them every 10-14 days so iām gonna have to convince him to put me back on my old dose every week. he shoots for levels in the 400s so my 730 on pellets is A Lot and probably why iāve been so off on them.Ā
since iām Legally Officially Male heās not billing forĀ ātranssexualismā anymore (or is it āhistory of sex reassignmentā or āfemale to male transsexualā? iāve gotten all of those at one point or another). he definitely could do it that way and still get everything covered. thatās how everythingās been billed for awhile. instead my records will all say iām being seen forĀ āmale hypogonadismā. heās obviously not lying in his notes or my files but thatās what my official "diagnosisā is and thatās what the code for insurance is.
iām meeting with the new endo tomorrow and iām super nervous
i'm on my way there now and i'm still really nervous. and I had to miss class for this.
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i'm meeting with the new endo tomorrow and i'm super nervous
oh holy shit
