Omars will be Omars

*puts on my bitch face and walks like a stuck up in public to mask my anxiety*

life hack: be best friends with a slytherin. they will steal cupcakes for you from work and tell you to drop toxic people from your life with no reservations. they will be the ones ordering you to stop and breathe and call in sick, to screw your commitments if they see you’re sacrificing your mental health. they’re the ones to say “don’t you dare settle” and “you deserve better” in a ruthless, matter-of-fact tone. they’ll be the ones saying it’s okay to put yourself first, the voice you need to hear after a long day or week or month. trust me, be best friends with a slytherin.

You’re one in a million. That means there are 320 of you in the United States. Find yourself. Start an army. Overthrow the government of a small midwestern town. Run shit.

And now, the weather.

i just want everyone to know that my legs are really smooth today and i feel like a glorious dolphin

i can’t beleive this

IT IS 2015

I fucking quit

my mother didn’t raise me to not thank the bus driver

i got paired with a super hot guy for a project in my criminal justice class and he just came up to me and said “oh my god you know what we are? we’re partners in crime! get it?” and then we both changed each others contact in our phone to “partner in crime” and now i kinda wanna marry him

⊂(´ω`⊂⌒⊃

that moment when Caitlyn Jenner comes out and you discover which of your friends are transphobic assholes

That accent is so close

“Men don’t like it when women wear …” who cares? who cares? who the fuck cares?