New beginnings
(that will be long)
Good seeing you, love!
Bless you and your curiosity. Welcome to my small attempt to get myself out there for yet another time. I am STFN and if you are reading this in 2026, I am 37 years of age. I guess you can do the math yourself if the year had changed in the meantime.
Usually I am shy or or I think of myself in this way. I could act like an extrovert and even be loud, but I am definitely not the person to walk up to strangers and make new acquaintances. Many of the dating apps have been a disappointment so far. Many ... fuck that - all that I have tried, Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Grindr.
And yeah, I play the field from both sides. I fall in love with people and souls and not with genders or whatever. Somewhere in my old posts there is one that talks about the cruelty and selectiveness of the gay man. Even though the biggest issue is supposedly to be accepted. They, I, We as humanity have got it way to easy I guess if we're treating other people like a menu in a fast food restaurant. But I digress.
Let's get back to the purpose here. I would like to share some information about myself and will try to add some little bits and pieces every now and then (hopefully weekly). Most times this would include a short poem that I have written. It could be old one. It could be new one. It could be bad one. Sometimes it will be simply a quote or a picture, song, anything to paint a proper picture of myself.
The whole idea came to me while on a weekend at the seaside in Poland. The weather was awful and I did not get plenty of beach time but I came up with this concept. A kind of Tinderesque attempt to really expose myself and give people sufficient information about me. Without sharing photos. Only soul.
A comprehensive profile of the person you would like to swipe right or left. I will try to tell you who I am, where I am coming from, what I like and what I aspire to. And in case you like what you found and what you are seeing, you can contact me here, email me, we can keep it online or move in the real world and get one more friend.
We can simply discuss random topics from music to politics, philosophy, education, children, flowers, favourite seasons, ideas for business ... anything. Or we can experience things together.
Or we do not need to share anything and you simply will forget you have seen this.
Part of the reason for me is to get my writings and ideas out there where I could receive feedback from various people. It will include both positive and negative feedback, but it is important for me cause I want to understand that this will not kill me. Putting myself out will not harm me. I want to think that it is better to be seen and criticised than living in a bubble.
Time for a little bit of background:
As mentioned, in 2026, I am 37 years old. At the moment of writing this, even though it is not my first post, I am living and working in Berlin. A great city to be yourself, right? Assumption here is that you found the QR code somewhere along the streets of the city. However, for the 5 years I've been living here, I cannot say that the city feels natural. I even closed myself even more cause of the vibe that the city projects - if you are Berliner, you need to be eclectic, bright, controversial and provocative. To be in a polyamorous relationship, drink only matcha and all the rest of that "exclusive" shit. I am not any of these. At least not for the large public.
I am kinda perverted when it comes to sex and relationships, but that is strongly between me and my partner. I do not identify with it and I would rather say I am vanilla when it comes to sex, cause simply consider it as normal.
Originally I am from Bulgaria. And I've spent the past 5 years back and forth which resulted in a total split of life and quite a challenging situation to maintain proper friendships and even relationships. Let's not digress too much cause that is already fucking long.
I work a boring 9 to 5 corporate job that pays the bills and I ultimately dream of doing something else. Something a tad bit more creative. It could be growing plants. It's still more creative than sitting in front of a laptop. My first jobs were in coffee shops and bars and they still hold a special place in my heart. Sometimes I do find the creative bug even in my current work - if some spreadsheet becomes beautiful and functional, but that is too rare.
On the other hand I have promised myself that by the time I turn 40 I will be out of corporate. So in case you are reading this in 2029 and there is no proper update on my situation ... fuck me! There are a few business ideas that I would like to explore. Maybe we can discuss them together. Most of them, however, are based by the seaside in Bulgaria.
That being said, if you are also tired of big cities and fast-paced environments (such as Berlin), welcome to my world. I'm drained of the the fake promise of freedom when it actually feels as if everything is judging you cause you are not making use of all the 1 million options that are constantly bestowed upon you. I intend to go back and live a slow life by the seaside. In a small house that I will own, overseeing the water. The only wish is to be able to sustain myself and cut off with the great expectations. Writing my stories or journals while drinking a cup of tea by the window or in the garden. Make bonfires in the autumns and enjoy the cool evening while listening to old scratchy jazz records. In the not completely impossible scenario that by the time you are reading this I am already away from Berlin, please do not hesitate to approach me. If you think we could have something in common and we can begin a lovely friendship, go for it! I'll do my best not to ignore anyone.
Be that as it may, nothing should ever be set in stone. All of this might not happen in the way I have described it so far. I have promised myself that all my conscious decisions will be leading me in that direction, but there are too many variables. I might meet someone and our lives might end up in an absolutely different place. This someone could be reading these lines right now. I will never force my dreams onto anyone, but I want to state them clearly, cause I might not be the only one.
As of now the image I have in my head is quite clear. But the future remains fluid and that picture can change. Maybe the only non-negotiable thing is DOGS!
