✦

“you’re falling asleep, sylus.” you say quietly and so tenderly. you’re getting ready for work and he’s getting ready for bed. that small bridge where the two of you find solace.

he had come home a mess — he was late for once and you had never seen his wispy hair so… dark. you had no idea where your boyfriend stuck his head but you were sure to take care of it.

it starts with your shampoo and soon you’re adding oils and massaging his scalp. sylus knew you took a great time with your hair, coiled curls and all — he just didn’t expect it to feel so good. be so comforting.

“i’m enjoying this.”

“i’m just washing your hair, silly.” you mumble and your eyes are still glued on his scalp. your voice, so full of love…. he simply melts.

“hm.” he says but he doesn’t push. neither do you. you know that he’s enjoying this too much and you’ve never felt better. you like taking care of sylus ; he’s always taking care of you.

“i’m having fun too, sylus.” you say softly and you catch how he smiles sweetly. he tries to hide it but it’s futile.

now you know that’s he’s a softie.

SYLUS - RED WINE SUPERNOVA. 🐦‍⬛

being sylus’ girlfriend was probably one of the best things to ever happen to you.

in the moment, it was scary. sylus was an intimidating woman when needed be. she had those deep ruby eyes and soft hair that made you absolutely melt.

"do you want to go out sometime?"

sylus had no intention of keeping you at first. you reminded her of somebody — something from a memory. a place she used to call home. her heart almost clawed her way out of her chest the first time that she saw you,

she needed you close until she could figure out why. (the fact that you were already so smitten for her was just a plus.)

you try to swallow the blush on your cheeks and you nod shyly. “i’d like that.”

the rest was history. sylus was everything you thought she wasn’t. she was a sweetheart. she spoke about music and vinyls. you could enjoy her presence while feeding the part of you that does enjoy her chaos. she was a dream.

"kitten, are you busy?” sylus asks. the sound of heels pressing on the tile and the lipstick you gave her on her lips. “what do you think?”

“of you missing your auction so i can inappropriately touch you?” you ask, too loosely; too boldly — it wasn’t uncomfortable. granted, sylus and you had been dating for almost nine months now. it was simply the boldness. you didn’t think. you couldn’t think.

her hair is pulled back; grey eye makeup and she’s absolutely gorgeous in the red suit. she’s always absolutely stunning— oh god, you said it out loud.

“oh my god— sy— i—”

she laughs. oh god, so heavenly. she’s taking two steps towards you and burying her face in the crook of your nose. she inhales the sweet perfume on your skin while calming her rapid heartbeat.

“i meant the blazer but i think you can help me change.”

XAVIER — AFTER MIDNIGHT ⭐️

xavi and you had gone out for drinks. it was a horrible mission. your sword had almost broke, xavier almost got hurt — there was a lot on the line. emotions ran high and both of you were excited to simply have a drink.

your elbow’s on the bar and your palm’s holding your cheek. you can’t help but stare at xavier. under the fluorescent lights she can’t stop talking and you’re absolutely smitten. both of you are two drunk to talk about anything serious right now… but it’s the eyes.

it’s your eyes.

big brown eyes, rounded; like a deer. innocent. holding out their heart and xavier felt like a wolf. she felt like she was circling around you with hunger— waiting for a chance to strike.

you had loved her as a man. she had loved you as a plant. would you love her as a woman?

but with your honest and drunk eyes, you spill every single thought. your cheeks are red and flushed — your hand trembles when you two touch. maybe you loved her more now. that excited her.

oh god, what a beautiful thing to love you.

you're staring at xavier, who can't stop talking. you find her truthfully charming. she’s absolutely beaming tonight. she was perfect. absolutely stunning. tara spoke about jenna but xavier was truly it for you.

you didn’t know what it was. maybe you liked the fact that she wasn’t an ideal hunter. maybe you liked the fact that she knew way too many things and slept half of the day. you liked how she knew where you where and hated when you were apart. you just liked her. fuck.

"i want to kiss you, xavier.” you blurt out. you’re biting the bullet. you might die of a wanderer attack tomorrow. you could die tomorrow because of some fucked up backstory from a lab you couldn’t remember. “i want to kiss you." you repeat again, "can i kiss you?"

why are you so hungry for her? why can’t you stop thinking about her? why do you wonder if the morning sun also rose to see her smile? god, why does every single thought revolve around her. you can’t stop thinking about her. you want her on your bed. you want her to tell you every single thought that ails her mind. you just want xavier—

sweet.

xavier’s lips taste of sugar.

CALEB — HOT TO GO (slightly suggestive.) 🍎

“you’re staring, pips.”

“don’t care.” you say, coming closer to your girlfriend. caleb had gotten a haircut and you were absolutely mesmerized with your girlfriend’s short hair. it didn’t help that she was absolutely jacked from all the training she did. your hands find themselves trailing under the fabric. “i like your shirt.”

“what’s wrong with you?” caleb teases, flicking your forehead and you’re pouting. your big eyes are enough to make her giggle and wrap her arms around you. a kiss pressed on the top of your head. “i know you like my shirt but you can’t get too handsy. i have to go get us food.”

“let me eat out—”

caleb laughs, “you’re acting worse than me today. what’s wrong with you? you know i’m your girlfriend, right? i’m going to be here tonight.”

you scrunch your nose. you don’t get why she’s acting so high morale today — she was the one that asked for pictures in the middle of the night and begged to bite your thighs in early mornings. what a (your) ridiculous woman.

"yeah, yeah, whatever, proper backstory... blah blah blah.” you hum. “now go! give me a kiss! get our takeout!”

“i’m going to the supermarket, baby.”

“oh.” you pout.

ZAYNE — PICTURE YOU ❄️ smut drabble.

“have you thought of me like this?”

there’s a thickness in the air. it’s the middle of the night and your weekly girls’ night has taken a heavy turn. the reality has cracked down on the both of you and you’re simply waiting on who breaks first. you pray it’s zayne — but you have no faith in yourself. you’ve never wanted anything as dearly — anything as desperate as you want your best friend.

the moonlight breaks through the window and you can see the delicacy of zayne’s skin. the black nightgown falls from her shoulders and there’s a bud of pink. you can’t help but dig your nails into your thighs. you have to wait.

have you thought about zayne? oh god, when have you not? at first, kissing your best friend was fine. but now you ache for her. you burn for her. and you want to do nothing more than drown in her. that’s what you want to do.

“would you hate me if i said yes?”

a whimper leaves zayne’s mouth and the self-restraint leaves your body. you can’t help but reach for her and you don’t need an answer. you know she wants this too.

zayne’s lips swell when you kiss them. it didn’t take long. her glasses are forgotten inbetween sheets and the nightgown is bundled around her waist. you’re hungry — you’re kissing her as your hand slips in between her legs.

"do you think i should call him?" those are the words that tumble out of your mouth.

you're currently at your apartment. you're sitting on the couch and you had been quiet for far too long. zayne's fingers freeze over the keyboard and she instantly looks at you.

the two of you were having girls night ; something that you had pouted and pleaded zayne to do weekly. your excuse was quality best friend time. zayne's didn't have an excuse. she just wanted to see you. she truthly didn't even know why you begged. she'd always be there.

however, sometimes... plans don't always go accordingly.

yvonne had called at the bare beginning of the movie and zayne was soon whisked to her baby blue laptop. which meant that you were alone with your battering thoughts and the cheesy romcom you were meant to watch together. so currently, she's not exactly sure whether she feels honored you spoke your mind... or just plain offended that you even dare ask that question.

her dark hair falls neatly on her face and the computer light is her only saving grace. she's jealous. she's furious. she doesn't know how to piece with the unexpected in a matter of seconds.

no.

scratch that.

would you call him before she even had the guts to even address her feelings for you?

"why would you do that?" she barely asks. she's counting her heartbeats and she knows it's merely anxiety. but god. zayne feels like she might die.

"i'm bored and i want to kiss somebody." you blurt honestly and then laugh at how desperate you sounded. no. how bored you were. everything in your life was work - you wanted to meet somebody. you wanted to meet your somebody.

maybe you were just lonely.

"so your options are... your ex that treated you horribly?" zayne questions as she types and you're letting out a sigh. you don't know why, but this conversation seems murkier the longer you breathe in it.

"in his defense, i'm not an easy girlfriend." you bite back and you've never bared teeth at zayne. she looks down at her keyboard and she can only think.

(who are you defending? who's told you that you're not 'easy'?)

"right." zayne says and her tone is heavy. she's filled with fury. you furrow your brow and look over at her. you know that tone. you know zayne li like the back of your hand. you open your mouth and -

"why don't you just kiss me?"

you freeze and you look over at zayne.

"w-what?"

you hadn't considered that. you had never thought about it. zayne had been a rock. zayne had been constant. no matter how beautiful her lashes fall on her cheek. you need to keep her by her side. that can't be an option.

"it's him or me. who'd you think take care of you more?" zayne asks,

"it's just kissing."

zayne stands and your heart paces. you feel it hammering in your chest and you watch as she sits beside you. you can't help but melt at the sight of her green eyes. she wants you. you can see the determination in her sight; but there's also... fear. you can't help but tremble when her knee touches yours. when her hand rests on your cheek and she asks,

"is it?"

you can't say anything. not a word leaves your mouth.

you can't do anything except lean in and kiss her.

that's how the first kiss goes.

"you never let me win." you pout,

the two of you had just finished playing kitty cards and zayne had demolished you. you're sure that it's her payback for the plushie machine. you could truly spend hours there. the two of you walk side by side. it's a girls night. that's what this is. even if your hand holding her arm and the two of you are a mess of thumping hearts.

"can i kiss you?" you ask quietly.

you expect her to say no. the two of you are in public. zayne is a recognizable figure. you have no concerns about what anybody might say about you, not on a night such as beautiful like this.

zayne freezes and you're about to spew out apologies until,

"you want to kiss me again?"

here goes your stupid little heart. it's hammering in your chest like a drum. you don't know where you get the boldness to let go of zayne's arm and step infront of her. her eyes are wide and there's surprise etched on her face. zayne was much taller than you but that doesn't stop you from cupping her cheek and pulling her into a kiss.

you want to kiss her.

i've thought it through,

the colonel wasn't going to intervene.

truthfully, he wasn't.

he was too busy. caleb was too focused on his job. he couldn't interject in your life until he had secured the entire universe for you. he truly had to make sure that once he came back, you would forgive him. instantly it was only choice. if he were in your shoes... he would also have lost it a bit (maybe a bit more than you.)

but caleb had to intervene,

and one thing that they both agreed on was that you were so...

fucking stupid sometimes.

he could never say that to your face,

caleb adored you more than the sky that he flew in.

but, he as a colonel; caleb knew what was right and the things that were wrong. it didn't help that he grieved you all the same either. you had manage to occupy his every breathing thought. he hated the choices he made throughly yet couldn't think of any other way. it's a mix of disgust and fufillment. some days he thinks that the chip was what made him aggresive. other days, he knows it's the was the fact that the two of you were lab rats. lately, the fact that he / still is one / makes him furious. everything made him so angry and you couldn't help but do it too. you obviously wanted his attention.

he had been watching. he'd see you, after shifts - getting drunk under the pretext of celebration. you were kissing strangers and flying too close to the sun. he knew that you loved josephine. he knew that you loved him even more. he was an idiot for ever being able to think you were strong enough to do this without him. you needed him. you always did. you always said that.

now wasn't any different.

uniform or not,

you were still his girl and he's had enough.

that's why he's in linkon city.

he couldn't take it anymore.

caleb had a plan, he had everything maped out and there you were,

"do you have plans tonight?" a guy asks. he's irrelevant. he's too tall, he's too lanky - he's not your type. caleb can see your fallen lids and how you're visibly past the point of caring. you smile sweetly and before the words have the fortune of gracing his ear-

"she does."

you're frozen.

you don't know if it's the drinks or the ambiance, but you can't possibly tell. your eyes are much wider now and caleb seems absolutely tugged by your facial expressions. you look horrified. pained. does his memory hurt you so much? was he so horrible that you have to forget he ever existed?

"i'm drunk. i have to go home now. i think i'm seeing ghosts." you tell the flirtatious stranger in a slur of words that are too fast for him to even grasp. you're about to rush away, you hope to run to the bathroom - you had seen him haunting your bedroom but you had never thought it'd be possible to hallucinate him while drunk.

did you miss him that much?

your arm is tugged and it's not until you're recognizing the silhouette. until you're recognizing the skin on your own that you're reacting. it's like your every molecule activates when he's around. the people that are dancing don't seem to notice that your whole earth was shaken over as you're dragged out.

right around the corner - is when the snap comes.

he lied to you.

he's a liar.

he's alive.

you grieved him.

you shove him; the hardest you had never hurt him. you don't know what to think. you're drunk and you're crying. your heart is racing and you feel the twitch on your eye. caleb's stunted in place but he's not exactly surprised. you two often fought as children.

he doesn't even stumble and you don't know what to think. you're drunk. there's nothing but betrayal coursing through your veins. you're furious. you feel your heart grow so heavy with deception that it drags across your chest. you're in a blinded rage.

"pips, stop." he says; his back to you and you grab the fabric on his back. you're turning him around forcefully. he needs to listen. no, he will listen to you.

"you lied to me!" you had never felt rage like this. your head is trembling with every single thing you thought you knew. "you left me when i needed you the most." the height difference between you two is irrelevant. you were holding your ground better than he was. "you are evil, you are cruel- you are-"

with a tumble, you're soon collapsing and being carried home.

twelve hours later, you wish you could tell him every single thing that you thought. you wish that you could tell him to go to hell and to shut the fuck up. you were boiling, furious; you were jealous, you were upset - you don't know how to put a single word on every single emotion that you're feeling right now.

"shut the fuck up." you hiss between wet kisses. it's five in the morning in linkon city and after an extremely long night, you simply bit the bullet. caleb knew your heart. he knew he had fucked up and he knew that this was all his fault. he knew that behind every single insult - you were so glad to see him. he knew it.

the wet noises of your lips smacking together echoes in your bedroom and this is exactly how it ends. it has to.

"foul language." caleb says, holding your chin. the lines are blurring until there's nothing left. it's odd. he was your best friend. then he died. then comes back. and obviously, of course, you find yourself trying to stain his memory on your tongue. what if he leaves again? "is there something on your mind? use your words."

"i hate you." you say, so quietly. caleb stops, entirely - he wants to look into your eyes when you say it and he seems entirely broken by what he sees. glassy eyes, tired eyes; your mascara is everywhere and the anger has melted into what seems to be -

sadness.

"i missed you." caleb says shakily and you can't help but look away. you bite your lower lip, and you open your mouth - you want to say it back, you have to say it back - but what if he leaves? what if he disappears? - "say it back, baby, please. didn't you miss me?"

that's what breaks you in half; because you missed caleb. you missed caleb so much that you thought you'd die without him, but you know it's not the same. it can never be the same. he's left such a wound in your heart that you're unsure how you'll ever - ever trust him. he'll only break your heart. he's a liar. the thief of joy.

. . .

caleb stares at your sleeping frame. your breathing, the way the necklace that he gaves you falls on your chest and how you snore - even if it's just a bit. he leans over, barely touching your nose and you're instantly swatting it away.

attagirl.

the diamond twinkles with the soft candlelight and his heart is absolutely content. it took you two a while to get here. a lot of arguments. he hadn't seen this version of you and this new version of him got on your nerves sometimes, but you loved him dearly.

you two got married neither in skyhaven nor linkon city. instead, a secret place just for the two of you. nobody would ever know. you two would never tell a soul.

"why are you awake?" you mumble. too asleep and too alert at the same time. he can't help but smile softly. he knew that you'd take a bit longer to adjust to a year without him - but, if you two had anything it was time.

"just admiring my beautiful wife."

"well, your wife wants you to turn off the candle. go to bed." you grumble and he's chuckling quietly.

"i love you too, beautiful girl."

"so... let's see if i understand. for this assignment... you just have to take random photos?" sylus question crackles through the phone.

it's an innocent question. you know that sylus would kneel infront of you if he accidentally bruised your feelings. the assignment was... well. exactly that. your professor had mentioned finding beauty in the mundane things. you could understand why sylus couldn't exactly grasp the excitement, especially when he was barely awake at 3pm. your baby crow wasn't exactly a fan of bright early afternoons.

"i do. beauty in routine or beauty in mundane. i don't remember, i was too excited thinking about the assignment." you grow quieter and a whisper for only him. "i like it. it's made me rethink a lot of things."

you couldn't tell him your thoughts. not yet... but they bounced in your head. you had been doing some thinking and maybe your time has a hunter has come up. you enjoyed your co-workers but you didn't enjoy the array of nightmares at times. you enjoyed helping children and everything in need; but where does that leave you? where does your hunger quiet? you're tired and scared. you just want to start over. you had quietly branched out, fear fear fear and you stumbled across a photography class,

you were absolutely sold. this was for you.

what a divine thing to be able to capture a moment forever. a picture that lives on an office desk and a baby's nursery. mayhaps every single photographer said that, but it was the honest truth. what a beautiful thing to be trusted. you still found bruises on your elbows due to uncomfortable angles but the grin on your face is enough for sylus to trust you.

(truth be told, he had an inkling you were doing something and was tempted to send mephisto. he was extremely tempted. however, he had to trust you. you were doing something big and you'd tell him when you were ready. you had the same look in your eye as him when he wanted something. the same damn look when he had made a decision and nobody was going to change his mind. he was extremely grateful it was a photography class because he was this close to talking to your little coworker. you can't sue a man for being a little in love.)

"what do you want to take photos of?"

"i don't know. everything?"

"let's take photos tonight." he mews and you snort.

"tonight? i can't. i have work tomorrow."

"aren't you a photographer now?" he says and your heart flutters with softness. your finger curling pink locks and you're a mess of red. only sylus could fluster you with such a silly thing.

you can't help the giggle that leaves your mouth and sylus truthfully chose the wrong moment to say that. you hated how you couldn't see his face through the call. he was so charming. god, you could imagine his stupid little smirk. "sylus, i just took a few classes. let me be good first."

sylus' heart is absolutely warm. he had never heard you talk about something so lovingly. sure, you were proud of being a hunter. but through the line, on his phone - he can hear your smile and he's absolutely smitten. he sits straight and he aches. god, he wishes that he could see your face. were you red? were your pretty eyes glowing in excitement?

"how about tomorrow night? you can take a photo of mephisto?"

"absolutely not." you instantly pan.

"are you still afraid of him? he's your friend, you know."

you quietly mumble. the nerve of this guy. first he flusters you and then he talks about your fears. what a way with words. you liked him so much. you truly did. "we can talk about my fear of birds another day."

that's what makes him laugh. whole heartedly.

but what makes him freeze,

is soft pink hair in the night. there's a camera lense on him and he's absolutely frozen in place.

sylus was confident. he was onychinus royalty, you knew that. but you also couldn't help but see him so gentle. you couldn't help but see the pink of his nose and the excitement of his eyes with the flicking lights.

the two of you were at a fair. a silly surprise that could only pop up on linkon city in the beginning of june. the both of you had laughed and ate more than you rode anything and now, you're holding your camera up to

him.

"you're taking a photo of me?" he asks, so softly. it's almost surprising that you heard the words that leave sylus' mouth and soon,

you're looking for the best angle and trying to get the light right. the way that sylus' hair glints in the night is something you need forever. "why wouldn't i? i said i'd take photos of everything i found beautiful."

sylus had never thought of himself as beautiful.

so he laughs, as he always does.

xavier and you couldn't be more different at times.

tonight, as the two of you were debating the night's possible routes - you can't help but see it. it never bothers you and it could never. on the contrary, you truly love how different the two of you are and how closely the two of you can possibly stand. you can't imagine being with anybody that isn't him. you have been together for barely six months but your heart has been his since the start.

in your mind, xavier's perfect night was at home. probably sleeping. if you were to get more specific, you'd say that he'd enjoy having his clothes recently dried so that he doesn't have to get a blanket in the middle of the night. the answer was actually not that. as xavier stares at you, jumping with your friends in excitement -

anywhere with you is perfectly alright with him.

even if there's assholes.

"um... that's your girlfriend."

in that split second, there's no music. there's no you. there's only this ignorant idiot that has the probability to ruin your night. his eyes darken as he looks straight at the source. xavier didn't like that. he didn't like that at all. this is a party and everybody should be allowed to relax after the year that they've had. especially you.

as sweet and kind that you were; he wasn't one for pleasantries.

"and?" xavier bites, but only for a second. he truly to hear where this string of thought is coming from before ripping him apart.

"she's dressed like that."

truth to be told, xavier had stopped questioning your outfits a long time ago. in this timeline, there's a chance of some normalcy. he's not risking that over your desire to show a bit more skin in this life. his favorite part was the slight marks he'd leave that you'd show with zero embarrasment. you were professional - yes, but you were comfortable in your own skin.

he had seen many lifetimes of attempts of confidence and this was his favorite.

this outfit wasn't all that scandalous. it was quite tame with previous ones if he was being honest. you were wearing a strapless sequin silver dress and long white go-go boots. you had gotten your hair done, long braids moving along the night and pearls glued on your face. tara and you had stumbled across a retro night and the two of you were adamant of finding a disco ball in linkon city.

xavier quirks a brow, no longer entertained by his thoughts nor the bright pink drink in his hand. "and?"

"aren't you worried?"

what the hell could xavier possibly be worried about? he has nothing to worry about. he's suddenly overwhelmed by a bad mood. the longer it goes, it's obvious that he needs to deal with this idiot. you had told him to play nice and make friends within the association; but, if they were all like that... he'd be sure to keep missing out.

one thing xavier understood very early on in your friendship is that nobody could tell you what to do. you were reliable as you were resistant.

was he jealous and obsessive?

yes.

"no." he says blankly. "i trust them."

"other guys could try to make a move."

so, that's what this is about.

the thought alone excites him. what would you do? what if he told you that somebody wanted to steal you away? would you be alright with somebody either than him?

his eyes find yours, almost instantly. you're motioning him that you're going to order some shots. it's something silly. small.

but you trust him too.

and he's seen the darkness rippling through the edges. he's sure that whoever takes you, would have to make sure, that you wouldn't want to come back first and for once in his life, xavier is confident; you two have found each other in every other universe.

how can anybody else compare?

no.

nobody else can.

the drink is quite bitter when it's warmer but he drinks. "we both know nobody would dare, right?" the tone is cold. "i mean, they'll welcome to try. truly." xavier doesn't see the darkness in his tone when he says that and his co-worker has truly realized how deep the two of you run.

his time has been wasted enough and you finally motion him over. he passes the stranger without a second glance and his rest rests on your ass greedily. you instantly melt into his side as you're explaining the different shots that tara, him and you were about to try.

. . .

"did you have fun?" he asks. the alarm clock on your bedside says 2:01am and he's watching you try to take your entire evening off. the zipper is a little too out of reach for your drunken self and exhaustion is seeping in your bones. so who do you call?

"no. i can't take this off - xavi help." you whine. you never whine. long are the hours the two of you are tired over work that there's no time for scenes like these.

"your dress? you're not wearing a bra."

"just pull it up."

"i'll still see your br-"

"xavier, do i have to remind you of everything we've done with our naked bodies?" you say, opening your eyes only to stare at him. it's silly. the fuzziness in the air. the alcohol glued on both your cheeks.

"yes?"

you're throwing a pillow at him, "just take it off! i'll sleep in my dirty bar clothes!"

he's laughing, so quiet that you entirely miss it. his fingers are un-zipping the dress and he's instantly putting you in a fresh one. one that the two of you had so tie-dyed. it was one of those days that the heat was tugged in your skin and boredom controlls the entire room.

"tie my hair." you say once he's done fixing the shirt.

"you're bossy when drunk." he compliments but he's moving to tie your hair. so softly and so tenderly. your cheeks burn bright and you know it's not the alcohol. his heart is simply yours.

"i'm bossy always." you quietly mumur.

"only with me."

"that's cause you're my favorite."

"person?"

zayne ♡ : what should we do tonight? i'm almost done with my shift.

y/n: do you want to come over? i've been eyeing a movie for a while now. didn't want to watch it without you! :D

zayne ♡ : sure, i'll be there. i'll bring dinner as well.

you claps your hands together, closing your eyes shut and you can't help but whisper into your own flesh. "please. please let this plan work. please."

you were desperate, and extremely horny. you absolutely knew that. you and zayne had been seeing each other for a few months now and you were absolutely gone. you didn't know how much you could take. zayne didn't seem give you a sign. she didn't give you anything at times. how were you supposed to make the first move when you can't read your girlfriend's face?

you were tired of waiting.

you knew that zayne was a sweetheart. you knew that she would never ever do anything to possibly harm you. you wanted zayne so bad that you could die; you had never wanted anybody as much. you had never felt your fingers miss zayne's spine as they have for the last few months. she's aching, raw. all over.

that's when when zayne knocks on your front door. you're already in a pretty lace dress and the tie on zayne's neck feels too tight. the second she sees you , zayne's demeanor pales. the softness of olive skin. big eyes full of emotions. her eyes wander on your bare collarbones and she might as starved as you.

oh, it seems that zayne wasn't the only one feeling the ache.

oh, how stupid she was to restrict her sweet girl of a feeling so normal.

"y/n, if you want to do something..." zayne tries. she's sure that the tips of her ears are red and her heart can't stop chasing. "you could've just told me." she tries saying with a steady heart and she's brushing a strand behind your ear. she can't help but inch closer. zayne has dreamt of you. "you should keep dressing like that. i enjoy it."

your skin stands and you're instantly looking up at zayne. shaky fingers reaching for black buttons and you're clumsy. zayne sees how your hands tremble at the touch of her. she's absolutely tender. she doesn't know how to do this. she doesn't know what to do. she doesn't want to hurt you; but she wants you to hurt her. she wants color on your inner thighs and,

just a taste.

. . .

your bedroom smells like sex and sweat - you've gone too far. you always do when it comes to zayne. you can't help it. there's bites and hickeys littering her body but you want more. your eyes spark with determination and most of all posession.

for once, zayne is back to the bed. her long black hair is sprawled on your cherry sheets and she's absolutely wrecked. her cheeks are red and it matches the spots etched on her skin. god, the flush on her skin. you can't help it. you want it so bad you can't speak. if zayne were a god, you'd have no problem saying your prayers to her.

and zayne liked it. you knew that she loved it. you knew that she tried to hide and hide but you knew she wanted this as bad as you. she was getting off on the fact that her much smaller girlfriend had her pressed on the bed and was grinding down on her like she was in heat. there's squirt in both your legs and she's pleased with the fact that she has no clue who's it is.

you're a pervert.

you're a pervert that likes to litter zayne's thighs with hickeys and gets off on hearing her whine as you touch her. legs intertwined and nerves pressing together. if you wanted to be poetic, zayne was your solace and you were currently in heaven. if you wanted to be vulgar... you enjoyed fucking your girlfriend through the matress. especially when she was so tall. especially when she was so...

"i love you." you whisper, the heat coiling in your torso and you can't help but squeeze. you're holding zayne's hand and you're sure you might break it. but what fool doesn't hold onto salvation?

that sentence alone has zayne shaking under you, nails pressing into the back of your hand and she only says,

"just one more, please. pretty please. you can do it." rafayel begs.

her voice. that damn voice, husky and guteral. the moan involuntary leaves her mouth and knees tremble. the two of them were merely now arriving from the gallery. y/n had gotten rafi to go to the exhibit and now it was her turn to deal with the needy artist.

the beautiful yellow gown drowns the artist's hand and the hunter is left under the care of a hungry lemurian. rafayel doesn't know why she feels so starved. she doesn't know why she's so riled with jealousy. it was y/n's own fault. why would she look so beautiful at her exhibit? is she not aware that rafayel doesn't know how to behave? doesn't know how to control her stupid urges?

the dress has been peeled of her skin for hours now. only rafayel's dressed. the beautiful violet dress making y/n absolutely dizzy. how could she do anything? how could she deny rafayel any pleasures when she enjoyed them so much? when the other's hunger made her, so absolutely insane? when rafayel spoke in public about her? it was only fair for y/n to let her beautiful girlfriend have her share.

rafayel's fingers are drenched and fuck, even her hands are pretty.

"i don't- i don't dance." xavier whisper meekly.

the two of you are in the aftermaths of a mission. twenty-six seconds after the mission was deemed a success and now you're merely awaiting on the approval to go report back. the moonlight is shinning so softly on the both of you and you can't help the desire but want to dance.

"i think you're lying. you're good at everything. come on humor me. my nose hurts."

"trust me, i haven't forgotten." he says and you can't help the sigh that leaves your mouth.

jenna loved and hated the two of you. you were both so calculated yet absolutely reckless at the same time. it doesn't make any sort of sense. it had been a long time since you had gotten so 'gravely' hurt, xavier's words anyways. the dried blood is across your cheek and you pout.

you have that look in your eye. he's seen it when you're analyzing how to deal with the wanderers, when you're trying to sneak the cats in kitty cards - it's simply that look of determination.

"follow me. it's a nice song. please?"

you're setting his hand on your hip and soon enough, you're linking your hands together. it's a delicate sway. the kind that merits a refrigator light - not their weapons thrown across the ground. however, it was nothing less than magical.

"you can dance, huh?" you tease and xavier's cheeks turn red, before he can sputter an excuse - you rest your head on his chest.

"i love you, xavi." you say quietly.

his heart thumps so loudly and he kisses the top of your head.

"and i love you,"

truth to be told, you had no fucking clue what you were doing.

you could walk the walk... (at least that's what you told yourself.)

you could look at girls across the bar and share a glance. those glances that leave your heart racing and your thighs pressing. you could press on them on the dance floor but once they took their pretty lips and acknowledged you - you croaked. your confidence would shatter like glass.

what was your problem? you'd ask yourself.

the answer? you were hungry.

you were starving.

and,

it didn't seem to be a problem for sylus.

everybody knew sylus. everybody has heard her motorcycle in the middle of a slumber. everybody has seen once the silver woman of the n109 zone. she was born order and beauty. nobody dared to come close to her and yet, you couldn't help but be drawn. she sat across you from the bar and she was absolutely magnitizing. ruby red eyes. hair like petals. you swore she haunted your dreams and stirred slumbered emotions awake.

maybe that's why you take that risk that night.

"you're absolutely frozen, kitten. have you ever flirted before?" sylus asks and a shaky laugh leaves your mouth.

she had actually followed you outside. she had paid for a drink and the two of you had managed to share a glance. soon after a laugh. sylus had an idea that not everybody likes strong liquor but she had no idea that you would actually react. she hadn't seen something so pleasing in ages.

"you're teasing me."

"absolutely. who can ignore a stray as cute as you?" she tads, but only a little. especially when she sees how your hands shake. what a terrible thing. to want something and not have the courage to act on it. "but if it bothers you, i'll stop. i have no desire to make you uncomfortable."

fuck. fuck sylus. you want to kiss her. so fucking bad.

she can see it all over your eyes.

oh, she finds you so cute. too cute.

"would you like to accompany me for the night?"

sylus might keep you.

no,

rafayel - you're his best friend.

the worst thing about knowing rafayel won't ever feel the same about you - is that it comes ripe in the morning. when the sun is peeking through your windows and you're rushing to your morning shift. when you're so close to forgetting your keys and your phone bings,

rafayel, 6:57am: good morninggg

rafayel, 6:58am: dun forget your keys, i'm out of town rmbr

it's sweet at the moment.

it truthfully is. it's nice to think that he takes time out of his morning to say good morning to you. it's nice to delude yourself for a second that maybe, maybe - he feels the same. then reality crashes on your shoulders and you're painfully aware.

✭ that sickening mix of joy and dread when they text you first. joy because it’s them, dread because it’s never what you wish it was.

xavier - unlikely coworkers.

"do you think she'd like roses?"

you freeze.

xavier did these little favors sometimes. he'd pick up little shifts and sometimes, when you were lucky, you two ran into each other. those shifts were your favorites. you swore that your arrangements were brighter and sales were even better. maybe you were crazy.

but you knew that this conversation was evitable.

"i think every girl would like roses, xavier." you say, instantly looking down at the rose stems in your hands. the order in your hands suddenly took priority. you never knew what to do with your hands. you knew that xavier was extremely perceptive. you didn't want him to know. not even for a second.

"would you?"

you laugh quietly, shaking your head. the stem is currently stabbed in the foam and you're trying to ignore the sadness that spreads across your chest. "they're not my favorite."

"then you're setting me up." he furrows his brow and a laugh leaves your mouth. even in the middle of your internal affairs; he had managed to soften your thoughts.

"you're not buying me flowers, xavier." you say and you try with all your heart to sound unaffected. to sound like you don't care that he's thinking about the rising hunter. "and i think that it's your intention. plus, it's always about the letter that goes with it. is it not?"

"do you think that a letter would be good instead then?"

✭ giving them advice on how to flirt with someone else, nodding along while your soul leaks out of your ears.

sylus - the star and the fan.

sylus and you were odd friends, to be honest.

the two of you met at a ballet recital. living in the n109 zone wasn't desirable but it was home, and you saw goodness in every corner. you were constantly in and out of your house, at the studio and more importantly; meeting with sylus.

he was a silent sponsor for the children's class and you had run into him multiple times. he was charming. although sometimes a little cocky, he was a gentleman and you were lying - if you said that you didn't have a small crush on him. only a bit.

"have you been doing this for long?"

"dancing?" you question,

"being kind."

then soon - in your recitals, came two. you had heard rumors about sylus seeing somebody, but the confirmation couldn't have come at the worst time. she was stunning and most importantly,

"you were great. i had never seen anything like that."

kind.

her eyes were stunning and her sweetness drips. you understand why you never an option and there's a small on your face. you're pleased with this. if it's not you - then, you suppose it's alright if it's her.

he grows softer and you eventually learn her name. he smiles more and you even hear him laugh between breaks. you almost mess up your steps when you see him kissing her head. you were a professional, you would never slip - but your heart still broke. it seemed to be the looping scene as you spinned on stage.

✭ watching them fall in love with someone else in slow motion, helpless to stop it, unable to look away.

caleb - gideon's sister.

when gideon comes home with caleb one day, you're instantly quirking a brow.

your brother had a habit of bringing his friends and as loud as they could be, they were always quite cute. he was your younger brother, merely a year between you - but you were still going to hold that over his head.

"i'm caleb, you're the sister."

"ah, the famous caleb. pleased to finally meet you."

whenever you could catch a glimpse of him, you absolutely would. and it eventually blossomed into a friendship, much to gideon's dismay.

not that it mattered, gideon told you all about caleb's girlfriend.

"i owe you big time. you're such a great friend." he says, mostly in awe at the pieces in your hand. you worked at a jewerly shop and he needed a favor. a big one. a cute little apple bracelet. what a lucky girl.

"it's just a favor. don't get excited now. you owe me big time now." you say, sliding the box to him and forcing a smile on your face. you were a stellar seller, you wouldn't strike a tear - but god, it fucking hurt.

"i love her more than anything." caleb confesses, one day a little too drunk. you simply find yourself putting a blanket over him and heading back to the living room with gideon.

"will a coupon cut it?"

you stick your tongue out and scrunch your nose. "absolutely not. i'll be letting you know what i want."

✭ “you’re such a good friend,” they say, and you smile like it didn’t just split your heart like firewood.

zayne - study partners.

"i'm in love with you"

delete.

"i love you."

delete.

"why can't i tell you ugh FUCKLJSKLDJSKLDJSKDJSLKDJSKD"

delete.

you know why. you know why the message doesn't leave your textbox. one night - during college your first time, not his - he was merely taking some classes once again, he had spilled the beans. you had never seen zayne so red. the alcohol had snuck up on him. he spilled her name like a prayer and you had kicked the posibility to the back of your mind.

zayne reaches for his phone, his shift a few hours away and he's clicking on your notification. the two of you used to study together and although fate pushed you into two different hospitals, texts are somewhat exchanged between the two of you.

you, 5:54am: good morning, dr. another day, another chart. let's work hard.