#mwah!!

you're figuring out a lot at the moment.

under the hotel room's neon lights, you're trying to remember if you packed your fuzzy pink socks. you're unsure if the television behind the two of you worked and you're trying to piece in your mind in what moment of the night - you fell in love with tara.

it's one of those rare missions that you're not paired off with xavier. tara and you were pitched together for the first time in a long time. you couldn't say no. you wouldn't say no. so you were swept to a city with flashy lights. heartbreaker seemed to have some loose ends here that jenna needed checked. it was nothing but a routine check; yet the neon lights and alcoholic drinks are so sweet that you're swept with emotions.

tara has matching socks. she has her yellow tube socks on and she's dancing to the song that's overheard from the room over. you're aware that you're drunk. you're aware that the two of you took the trip a little too loose - but,

has tara always looked this pretty?

her eyes are brown, that's what you'd answer if anybody ask. when you were alone with your diary; you'd describe her as honey. tara is sunlight and you want to surround her. constantly. you're staring at her and your heart wants to dance with hers.

her hands are in the air and the two of you, for a brief second, make eye contact.

is your heart aware? why does it want her so bad?

you can’t help but look away. your eyes are on your hands and you can’t help but frown. you're always pulling back. you're always afraid. you're always holding back. you're so afraid. you're so afraid of loving freely. you're so afraid of ruining everything between tara and you. she's your best friend. she's the constant in this messy world. through the memories and visions; confusions - she's the only thing that's honest.

you've had enough.

you stand and she's smiling widely at you.

"do you want to dance with me?"

your fingers lace easily. tara has soft hands, her nails are always so pretty; yet she has tiny papercuts. you assume she's clumsy with her hands. odd since she does tarot cards. where did this girl come from? why do you feel so easy when you're with her? you can't help but spin her. there's a giggle leaving her mouth.

"what are you thinking about?" tara asks, "you look happy."

"i'm thinking about you."

. . .

"can you say it again, please?"

the lights are low. you're in tara's bed and your heart can't stop pounding. you're sure that you're drunk. love drunk. that's the only thing that can describe it. tara and you are laying in the same bed; staring at each other - her fingers playing with yours. your tube socks are linked together and you've never felt so happy. you've never felt so light.

"i'm thinking about you." you say quietly, shyly.

tara smiles softly, "well, are you?"