Rememblog

Dromoka - 0/5, Would not kiss.

Dromoka decreed that all necromancy is banned in her realm, and everyone knows that the dark arts is the foundation to all good queer relationships. This, to me, suggests that she’s incredibly heterosexual and I’m just not into. Its gross.

Ojutai - 2/5, Might kiss.

Ojutai is a nice dude. He’s cute (I’m a sucker for feathered wings), but unfortunately, he seems very strict and plain. Never anything new and exciting with Ojutai, but still a good, if unexcited, relationship. 

Silumgar - 3/5, Would step on.

I would not kiss Silumgar, but he seems more like a sub. He seems like he would enjoy being stepped on. That’s all.

Kolaghan - 5/5, Would smooch a lot.

I love a girl who screams and spews lightning. Very hot, electrifying even! Plus, she’s basically a giant cat. Definitely the gayest and cutest of the dragons. 

Atarka - 4/5, Definitely Kiss.

Blue Ridge Mountains, North Carolina

Computer displays, Neon Genesis Evangelion. 

For the past several years, a group of researchers has been observing a seemingly impossible wood ant colony living in an abandoned nuclear weapons bunker in Templewo, Poland, near the German border. Completely isolated from the outside world, these members of the species Formica polyctena have created an ant society unlike anything we’ve seen before.

The Soviets built the bunker during the Cold War to store nuclear weapons, sinking it below ground and planting trees on top as camouflage. Eventually a massive colony of wood ants took up residence in the soil over the bunker. There was just one problem: the ants built their nest directly over a vertical ventilation pipe. When the metal covering on the pipe finally rusted away, it left a dangerous, open hole. Every year when the nest expands, thousands of worker ants fall down the pipe and cannot climb back out. The survivors have nevertheless carried on for years underground, building a nest from soil and maintaining it in typical wood ant fashion. Except, of course, that this situation is far from normal.

Polish Academy of Sciences zoologist Wojciech Czechowski and his colleagues discovered the nest after a group of other zoologists found that bats were living in the bunker. Though it was technically not legal to go inside, the bat researchers figured out a way to squeeze into the small, confined space and observe the animals inside. Czechowski’s team followed suit when they heard that the place was swarming with ants. What they found, over two seasons of observation, was a group of almost a million worker ants whose lives are so strange that they hesitate to call them a “colony” in the observations they just published in The Journal of Hymenoptera.

Because conditions in the bunker are so harsh, constantly cold, and mostly barren, the ants seem to live in a state of near-starvation. They produce no queens, no males, and no offspring. The massive group tending the nest is entirely composed of non-reproductive female workers, supplemented every year by a new rain of unfortunate ants falling down the ventilation shaft.

wendys

what i had: four for $4 burger and lemonade.

what i thought: this is the same as mcdonalds but there is a smiling girl! the guy who invented wendys was called somethng else so who is wendy. Food apparaition?

rating: 3/5. food was boring but mysterious girl warmed my heart

cook out

what i had: hot dog and shake

what i thought: holy shit. also milkshakes in america are like, solid ice cream. i was expecting nesquik

rating: 5/5. the hot dog was nauseating but cost a dollar and the cashier liked toys

steak n shake

what i had: you can only have burgers and shakes from this restaurant so thats what i got baby!! when in roam!! hasta la vista!!

what i thought: siri didnt know how to get there so we got lost on the highway at 1am. WOOPS!!! thats the american life

rating: 4/5. tasted like i was dying, but pleasantly

cracker barrel

what i had: friday fish fry up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what i thought: there was lots of old people in this restaurant. the waitress avoided me because my nails were painted. this is a well documented phenomneom but biscuits are definitely something different in this country than my country

rating: 2/5. scary torture cabin

costco

what i had: piza slice

what i thought: i know this isnt technicaly a restaurant but drinks were 50 cents so it gets an honorable mention. there was a crate of mayonnaise but i didnt try that.

what i had: burrito. do they make other things?

what i thought: the logo is a chilli pepper but there werent actually any chilli peppers you could have in the food? i enjoyed the dainty red basket

rating: 3/5. guess burritos just always taste good, no matter what theyre made of. i think the chipotle burritos were made using some kind of food product but im not sure.

sonic drive thru

what i had: loaded chilli cheese dog’ fourht of july baby!! happy star wars day

what i thought: very inconceivable. there is a sit in a drive in and a drive thru and the sonic drive thru person comes over to your car in roller skates. its a made up cartoon store. it doesnt exist

rating: 5/5. we spent 20 minutes googling if you tip at sonic and in the end we drove off so my guilt prevents me from assessing it poorly

taco bell

what i had: it only sells tacos in like threes so i got three tacos.

what i thought: its like a dorito with a leaf stapled to it. why is it called taco bell? also, who am i, inside?

rating: 4/5. i flung six tacos in the microwave when we got back and i enjoyed watching them roll over each other playfully -  made me think of my childhood and the political conspiracy around my birth.

sheetz

what i had: chicken nuggets at 2am

what i thought: it was interesting that about half of the items on the interactive menu ended with a ‘z’ rather than an s. while that was fun - i would not go so far as to say i died at sheetz but i certainly did not leave it in one piece due to the colossal spinning death blade embedded into the milkshake machine

panera bread

what i had: pasta and bread

what i thought: i dont know what panera means but it might mean “bread”, as in “bread bread”. in america theres a chain restaurant for every one specific thing? this is the “bread” take-away, where you can pull up in the drive thru and just say “bread please” because youre not sure what else to get

rating: 4/5. hey this was pretty alright. if you get a soup bread bowl from the drive thru youre completely fucked though. youll spill it on your pants

dairy queen

what i had: Mountain Dew

what i thought: at “DQ” you can get a big birthday cake and eat it right in the store and they wouldnt stop you. The dairy queen was probably in the back but i didnt see her. instead a rambunctious guy came out with my boys burger and he shoved it into my hands as fast as possible. it was the only visible stop for miles except for a glowing, flashing “HIMALAYAN ROCK SALT” sign so i think he was protecting my soul!

rating: 3/5. MTN DEW products are of interest on-line. Wish i got the Himalayan rock salt instead though. (healthier)

olive garden

what i had: No mincing words here. I didn’t get any food at olive garden. The waiter was a ten foot tall luchador guy and he kicked my ass. He made me buy plants vs zombies on the service screen thing.

what i thought: N/A. I got my ass kicked at olive garden.

rating: 2.46/5. i left like a barrel of spaghetti at my friends house. shout out to maisie, i hope you like the spaghetti i didnt eat

krispy kreme

what i had: caramel filled donut (x12)

what i thought: i thought it was a language difference that donuts were “doughnuts” in the foreign ports of olde englan. but Krispy says it like the long way too. i guess it doesnt matter. lots of doughnuts but you can also purchase a miniature truck if thats what youd rather eat.

rating: 5/5. there’s a willy wonka conveyor belt thing here and everyone who works to make it happen is my savior and deserving of your worship

zaxbys

what i had: chicken finger meal thing

what i thought: apparently other americans dont know about this place either? but its the most straightforward restaurant ive ever been too. i was so hungry and simply whimpered “please give my mouth chicken”. they gave me a box just full of it. plus loads of fries and like three sauce things. and a slice of toast too just cuz Fuck it! Eat everything!

aries: they think everything is a joke, yet somehow takes everything too damn serious anyway.

taurus: too chill, never chill enough. whatever they’re doing it’s too much of it. expects ppl to take care of them and has the attention span of a goldfish

gemini: everything is a personal attack, can’t lower their standards without feeling like theyre compromising themselves, thinks they’re too smart for their partner

cancer: perpetual crier, always wants to hash out a disagreement RIGHT. NOW. doesn’t know how to give people space to process their own feelings

leo: can’t stop talking about themselves, never considers their partners point of view, intentionally leaves ppl behind if they can’t keep up

virgo: obsessed with perfection, susceptible to criticism, will either be emotionally impenetrable or a mess of feelings

libra: can’t make a decision about a person to save their life, will make a list of pros and cons and never read it, head higher than the throne of god

scorpio: will be petty and play games for no reason, everything is disposable including people, emotes only for The Drama of it all

saggitarius: absent, unavailable, lets their phone battery run out and won’t charge it for 3 days, doesn’t know when the party is over, considers a good morning text to be clingy

capricorn: look up bougie in the dictionary, you’ll find a capricorn, needs constant reassurance but pretends that they don’t, thinks the world is against them

aquarius: demons

Batman has been around for a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very long time.

“Our dad always saw himself as The Bright Knight, and aspired to make a positive impact on his fans’ lives. He was and always will be our hero,” his family said in a statement.