:)

i need a silk robe and a balcony to wear it on

u think i really give a fuck ? i can’t even read

damn a bitch be feeling empty as fuck sometimes

Sorry I was speeding, officer. I was listening to Mumford and Sons and the banjo solo came on.

i had the funniest fucking dream i was hanging out with michael jackson and someone asked him what his pronouns were and he said “he/hee!” and i woke up crying

Men get pegged

I honestly stopped reading at “men get pegged” and I was like “they sure do”

I’m glad neither of you took the time to read one person’s opinion. What is reading comprehension or textual analysis anyways? Worried it might pop your bubble? Grow up.

I honestly stopped reading at “I’m glad” and was like “good for you”

i’m so glad we all stopped at “men get pegged” i read that then immediately scrolled to the end of this post to make this comment

well folks, Smooth Yoda has taken the senate

nothing scares me more than the absolute power held by rural white people. imagine the potential they could have if they learned to read .. just got chills ..

Kermit pussy indulgence

What if your Uber drive threw a flash bang in the backseat

i would open my mouth and I would catch it in my teeth and I would swallow it whole