Politics and Detectives

Hannibal, S2E02 (Sakisuke)

Hannibal, S3E13 (The Wrath of the Lamb)

They’re supposed to be working on a typical coming-of-age story but after living with the Addams for just a week the project is becoming a horror-Gothic-romance

Fester and Pugsley find out one of the college students is trying to get into chemistry and woo boy, there has never been a faster study of how to counter various acidic chemical reactions due to “water” balloons in campus history. 

Morticia and Grammy are keeping the horticulturalists on their toes with their Black Tulip/Rose hybrids, which can flick their barbs a foot away from their stem system. But it’s fine, one of the kids has managed to breed Aloe with the anti venom. 

Lurch makes sandwiches for everyone who’s too much of a coward for Grammy’s cooking. Any music major will find him looming over them, utterly stone faced as they practise until they finish, when he’ll smile, and slowly applaud. 

And the spookiest thing of all

Wednesday and Thing will find your thesis. They will critique it in every way imaginable. 

There is no escape. 

#‘no other family in attendance’ #please #if that happened they’d be an Addams by the end of the day - that-halloween-gay

They come back for reunions as honorary Adams - yellowbirdbluetoo

All graduates will be referred to as “cousin”. Hahaha you’re an honorary Addams now. - jedochan

The Addams family also takes in LGBTQ+ kids who get disowned and kicked out so its college kids and LGBTQ+ kids helping each other out and the Addams family loves all of them - wishesovercas

Coming out to Gomez and Morticia because you’re too afraid to tell your own parents first/at all and they give you support and throw a lavish party in your honor - davekatzdefensesquad

Gomez will happily fence to death (or at least to first blood) any obnoxious overbearing stalker Ex’s you might have, on the simple principle of “If you love someone you treat them as something to be cherished and adored and honoured and brutally slay anyone who thinks them unworthy of worship.” - samarallewis86

Gomez looking at a Tired College Kid for approximately 2 seconds: Oh??? NEW CHILD??????? - kentallardd

I can just see the Addams family coming to your event that your miniscule Poetry club sponsored because they know how hard you worked, and they know your own family won’t come.

When some snobby frat house bashes on the event and Wednesday and Pugsley and Fester sneak into their frat house and set a bunch of rabid rats loose during their rager.

Meanwhile Morticia is going around snipping the flowers off the garden beds of campus with some organic poison, and Gomez is chatting with engineer majors about full scale trains and demolition ideas. He convinces the shy nerd to seduce the head jock’s girl, and he succeeds.

Lurch and Grammy discover the controls for the fountains and pour in a little surprise into the water system, and Thing is snapping appreciatively for every line recited by your club members. - athelise

One does wonder how they would handle a recovering addict. Like they are trying to stay off but they get so angry or depressed from withdrawl. - iconicdraconic

Found family College students with the Adam’s family is the unhinged lunacy I CRAVE - damion-the-skeleton

#”so ive bene thinking about making giant animal costumes for people but decent fur costs like $80 per metre” “CAPITOL IDEA!”

#”holy shit” #i like this a lot this is very fun - ain-person

#heart full #I genuinely love this so much #the Addams family has so much potential for wacky stuff like this #and there’s hardly ever mean vibes coz they love each other #which is Good  - raewentferal

I so want Gomez shouting “capital idea” at me and funding one of my many wishes. This is glorious. 

And let’s hear it for a cartoonist’s weird ideas surviving almost 100 years now. - johannadc

I HAVE to reblog. This is my head cannon for the Addams Family. Especially after watching the 60’s sitcom. - kquietgirl

Me now wondering what shopping with Morticia must be like - a-world-of-whimsy-5

Wednesday listening to the biology students with glee explaining what organs can be taken out that wouldn’t cause death - bi-tastrophe

@identity-you-decided you say this like Pugsley hasn’t already obtained his excitable materials engineering degree (at age 9) and will actually have at least 5 IED designs to teach you (all of which you can make with standard household items). - coppercorn-and-cauldron

@randomthoughtsandspeech because that’s where the overflow of swords and armour are displayed. They ran out of room in both the great room and the formal parlour. - coppercorn-and-cauldron

All my landlords were all creeps. The women were sometimes even worse than the men. Buy the Addams? Their creepiness doesn’t make me want to add an extra layer of clothes or wrap myself in a coarse horse blanket. - purplehazepaladin

Ok but…… what happens when Morticia meets the cultural anthropology major with a concentration on magic and witchcraft? - fleetwood-mac-andcheese

Then there’s the octopus. Aristotle gets their own saltwater ecosystem as well. Another massive setup, and the Addams become very interested in endangered sharks and breeding programs to increase wild populations, and in ecosystem “tanks.”

Wednesday’s spiders? Well of course they need their own building too, and there needs to be a lizard house for all those poor underappreciated reptiles. And the bats, those poor endangered darlings, they need conservation efforts too…

Crocodiles, alligators, everything has a place at the Addams Family Conservation Centre (and its eventually worldwide branches, because you can’t tell me that Gomez wouldn’t hear one of the new “cousins” talking at length about the poor understudied “vulture bees” in the South American jungle and decide that they need to fund their various academic pursuits. Or that they shouldn’t set up a conservation centre in Sub-Saharan Africa for their beloved tsetse fly.

Then their titular client will show up and explain how he's been tricked into assisting in a crime and is being blackmailed, casually including a description of the most violent thing you've read all week.

What they did have was a single spare bed in the small, comfortable, quiet, wildly expensive facility for girls with eating disorders.

They asked each of the young women currently living there if it was acceptable that I might occupy a bed in one of the rooms for a while, just the long weekend while I was waiting for a doctor's evaluation. I hadn't been violent, I had gone with the cops without putting up any fight at all, and I was still and I was small and all those things were sufficient for me to be deemed safe. So up they sent me, to somewhere high in Western Psych, above the smells and sounds of the denser-packed wards, above where the care workers were harried and frustrated, to a gentle space with seven or eight young women in it.

I was five foot three, and I weighed about 115 pounds. I was underweight for my frame, as a fair amount of that weight was martial arts muscle; I would probably have been ten pounds heavier if I were healthy, with the amount of activity I got.

I was at least two inches shorter than pretty much every other young woman there, six or seven inches shorter than one of them, and I had at least thirty pounds on several of them. The tallest was not allowed to walk, she had to sit in a wheelchair and be pushed around, because her condition was so advanced that the motion would undo what good her hard work had done.

And over the course of the four or five days I was there, multiple of them came up to me alone to quietly tell me that I had the *perfect* body, and they wished they could be as skinny as I was. That I needed to live, because I was beautiful, and if they were as beautiful as I was, they wouldn't need to be here.

Their eyes were on me all the time, in the hours that I wasn't sleeping. I spent a lot of time sleeping, and we took our meals separately (I not needing to be monitored while I ate, and not having my food weighed), but we spent a fair amount of time sitting around in the little shared living room space, talking about movies and magazines and books we'd loved, talking about our families. I didn't talk about my family; they didn't pry.

They were all so fucking nice.

And I could have broken any one of them over my narrow knee. They each thought they were bigger than I was.

Their brains lied to them, every time they looked at a mirror. Every time they looked down at their own thighs. What they saw was not what I could see. They had bright, beautiful eyes in dark hollows, and I could count their vertebrae, could see their ribs winging when they breathed, could see the motion of every tendon on the backs of their hands.

They weren't celebrities. They weren't being paid to have particular bodies, nor were they deep in the toxic sea of having strangers take photos of them to sell to gossip rags if they stepped out of doors in old jeans. They had families and loved ones who were doing everything that they could to protect them, to uplift them and help them be healthy. They were just everyday people--a nurse, a couple of students, a couple of recent college grads, a young woman who had decided it was time to really get help because she wanted to be a mother--and still they'd been so injured by the neverending fucking deluge of body-image bullshit that they were dying of it.