Peer-Review Certified Scoundrel

I've always liked cock but I've never liked men and society isn't ready for that conversation

poor men... we could fuck if only you weren't so.... *gestures at all of you*

every man I've ever liked became a woman eventually anyway. that's how you know this shit is fr

Imagine if we did the “public libraries are punk” thing for other subcultures. Imagine if people made shirts that said “Soup kitchens are grunge” or “Mixed Use Urbanism is Juggalo”.

people have lots of pet peeves with guys being/being called grunglers. i dont care abt any of that. my annoyance is that in the original tweet the guy himself was not the grungler, the messed up dark souls character he made while on call with strange transsexuals was the grungler. ur all misusing the term

grungler's monster

hey don't cry. on december 3, 1926, agatha christie went missing for eleven days and because the uk police didn't know what to do they recruited sir arthur conan doyle, creator of master detective sherlock holmes, but all he did was conduct a séance to try and contact her distressed spirit

Her “disappearance” was also greatly exaggerated, she was under a lot of stress from the public and had just caught her first husband cheating on her, so she fucked off to a spa treatment hotel and checked in with a fake name as a “patient” claiming to not remember anything about her past. She kept up the illusion of mystery for most of her life, claiming to not know anything about what happened during that time, but in her twilight years she alluded to the fact that “of course I just ran away for a bit, wouldn’t you want to do the same?”

halo lore is so fucking funny to me. all it really needed to be was 'youre john halo and youre a badass space marine that doesnt afraid of anything' but instead youre a war orphan created by the space CIA to be a robo-pinkerton to put down galactic worker revolts, but luckily whole hordes of you were created right in time for the most evil alien empire to ever exist to make first contact with us by nuking a planet to glass

also, the evil alien empire isnt doing this because theyre evil, their trio of space popes asked an ancient sacred AI what the fuck humans were and the ai was like 'oh those are ants that god loves more than you' and the popes immediately decided the only way to keep their cushy jobs and big dumb hats was to annihilate the human race. it almost worked, too! luckily, one of the robo-pinkertons is so freakishly lucky an AI noticed the statistical anomalies surrounding him and took him in as her favorite little meow meow and now they have a toxic co-dependent relationship and are going to nuke alien new york

the most 2014 post possible

[ID: A google trends search showing interest over time in the United States since 2004. numbers 0 to 100 are on the y-axis while the years are in the x-axis. the stats remains very close to the '0' mark with a few small upticks between 2005 and ~2016, and then they shoot up to 100 at the very right of the graph (present day). the stats are for the word "pshaw". End ID]

GERONIMO FUCKIN STILTON!???!

oh I'm fuckin stilton alright

Just did the glasses equivalent of that fucking Hank Hill WD40 clip upon waking up