Linda: Top reasons to get married?
Lucifer: Firmly saying “That’s my wife!” and knocking someone out in one punch.
Linda: ...
Lucifer: And love, I guess.

#extradirty

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@deckerstarincorrectquotes
Linda: Top reasons to get married?
Lucifer: Firmly saying “That’s my wife!” and knocking someone out in one punch.
Linda: ...
Lucifer: And love, I guess.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Chloe: Can you turn the lights on?
Lucifer: I don't have to, you're the only light I need in my life
Chloe: Lucifer, I can't see
Lucifer: Would you like to play 20 questions?
Chloe: Sure
Lucifer: Ok, you go first
Chloe: Hm, what's your favorite color?
Lucifer: Triangle, my turn, wanna have sex?
Amenadiel: Why is Lucifer crying on the floor?
Maze: He’s drunk.
Amenadiel: And...
Maze: He saw a picture of Chloe’s boyfriend.
Amenadiel:
Amenadiel: -but he's Chloe's boyfriend.
Maze: I fucking know.
Lucifer: I have no heart. Love is for fools. I’m Lucifer bloody Morningstar who don’t need no woman in my li-
Chloe: *breathes*
Lucifer: Well fuck.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Chloe: *kisses Lucifer*
Lucifer: What is this?
Chloe: Affection.
Lucifer: Disgusting.
Lucifer:
Lucifer: Do it again.
Chloe: There were some girls saying I couldn’t be a princess in kindergarten-
Lucifer: Names
Chloe: What???
Lucifer: Tell me. their. names. I just wanna talk.
Lucifer *flexing*: Do you see these arms?
Lucifer: Wii Sports Resort
Chloe: Hey, how would you like your coffee?
Lucifer: As dark and bitter as my soul.
Chloe: one glass of milk coming up
Lucifer: *with his arm in the door of a vending machine* I’m the smartest, most skilled, engineer in this place.
Chloe: Are you stuck in that vending machine?
Lucifer: I paid for my Cool Ranch Puffs, I’m getting my Cool Ranch Puffs.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
*Lucifer accidentally brushes Chloe’s hand with his own*
Chloe: *agressively holds Lucifer’s hand] Fucking commit to it!
Trixie: I refuse to eat the ghost broccoli
Chloe: It’s called cauliflower, now would you please just eat it???
Trixie *stabbing the offensive vegetable to scrutinise it*: No, I know what I’m seeing here. This is DEFINITELY a ghost broccoli
Lucifer: I don’t want to eat ghost broccoli, either
Trixie: Yeah, that’s just GROSS!
Chloe: It’S jUsT cAuLiFlOwER-
Chloe: Lucifer, I need some space.
Lucifer *tearing up*: Are- are you breaking up with me?
Chloe: No, Lucifer. I need some space on the damn bed. I’m falling off.
Lucifer: *hands Chloe a water bottle*
Chloe *drinking*: Thanks, but what's it for?
Lucifer: I heard from Ella that you get thirsty around me.
Chloe: *chokes on the water*
Chloe: *watching the news* Lucifer, have you heard? Somebody tried to fight a squid in the local aquarium!
Lucifer: *covered in ink* Well maybe the squid was being a dick.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
[during a couples race]
Amenadiel: *carrying Linda bridal-style jogging a little and talking calmly with her*
Lucifer: *hurls past carrying Chloe over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes; they are both screaming*
Linda: So, what did we practice you would say to Chloe?
Lucifer: “Will you go out with me tomorrow night?”
Linda: and what did you say to Chloe?
Lucifer: I accidentally told her to suck my dick.
Linda: HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY TELL SOMEONE TO SUCK YOUR DICK?
Lucifer: I PANICKED!