Jul 8, 2021
Lucifer : Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.
Chloe: ... Luce are you oka-
Lucifer: not in the slightest my darling
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Lucifer : Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.
Chloe: ... Luce are you oka-
Lucifer: not in the slightest my darling
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Someone: Go to hell.
Chloe, tearing up: I wish I could.
Chloe: Hey can we talk?
Lucifer, internally: Oh fuck this is it isn’t it I knew this day was coming I was such a fool to think she’d ever forgive me or look past the fact that I am Satan and now she’s going to leave me and I deserve it I was never worthy of her love and I never should have burdened her with knowing me I should just go back to Hell where I belong and-
Chloe: I can’t be bothered cooking tonight, can we just order in?
Lucifer, choking back tears: Of course, Detective
Lucifer: Just follow my lead. It’ll be fun!
Chloe: Please don’t let those words be carved on my tombstone.
Suspect, being interrogated by Lucifer: *horrified* can.. can I get another cop? I don’t like you..
Lucifer: well I don’t like me either but you don’t see me making a fuss about it!
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Linda: Top reasons to get married?
Lucifer: Firmly saying “That’s my wife!” and knocking someone out in one punch.
Linda: ...
Lucifer: And love, I guess.
Eve : 🎶 i know we'll never grow old together, cause you'll never grow old to me 🎶
Maze : 🎶 you're the pink in my cheeks and i love that it means I'm a little bit soft 🎶
Sam: A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of it's throat.
Sam: Do you ever think about that?
Sam: No. You only think about yourself.
Lucifer: