Gene Orichu

Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.

Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”

Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.

Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.

Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.

Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “Is there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.

Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into “What stressing!”

From my bilingual parents:

- Only being able to do math in their original language. “Ok so that would beeeeee … *muttering* ocho por cuatro menos tres…”

- Losing words and getting mad at you about it. “Gimme the - the - UGH, ESA COSA AHI’ CARAJO. The thing, the oven mitt. Christ.”

- Making asides to you in Spanish even though you’ve told them to not do this as lots of people here speak Spanish. “Oye, mira esa, que cara fea.” “MOM FFS WE’RE IN A MEXICAN NEIGHBORHOOD.”

- Swears in English don’t count.

- Swears in Spanish mean you’d better fucking run, kid.

- Introducing you to English-only Americans using your Spanish name so that they mispronounce your name for all eternity because that’s what your mom said your name was. “Hi Dee-yanna!” “sigh, Just call me Diana.” “Yeah but your mom said your name was Dee-yanna.” 

- when vice versa, dropping English articles entirely. The, a, an: all gone. e.g. “I go to store and buy thing, I fix car and go to place.” This also happens when i am very tired 

- speaking English with heavy accent you don’t actually have - when my family and I are switching over fast, we say the English words in a very heavy Russian accent that mostly doesn’t show up otherwise 

bonus: 

- keysmashing in the wrong language when your keyboard is still switched over

Reading entire books and watching entire shows and being unable to identify, sometimes right afterwards, in which language was it on

Panicking in the native language. A classic. Will never understand how some ESL youtubers don’t switch to English when playing horror/anxiety-inducing games. Also counts to frustration. (”Are you okay, Link?” “NÃO. I’M NOT OKAY. NÃO TÔ BEM NÃO FILHO DA PUTA DO CARALHO”)

Related to the one above and already mentioned: cursing is only valid when in your native language. Sure, you can offend people using English, but if you resorted to “vai pra puta que te pariu seu desgraçado de uma porra, enfia um rojão no cu e voa” shit got serious

Related still, cursing heavily under your breath and making something up when caught

Getting an accent out of nowhere. I can speak American English without an outsider accent but sometimes I just. Get tired of rolling the “r” and I can’t do it anymore for some reason. Alternatively, speaking once with someone with an specific regional accent and adopting it for life.

Struggling to make people pronounce your name right when they are unable or unwilling, giving up, adopting a nickname not to be bitter (hi, hello, that’s me)

Puns and wordplay that only work in your language. You want to share them. You cry.

Having trouble with propositions. It seems like a common issue but “on, in, at” etc aren’t that easy to figure out. I mistake them constantly.

Inadvertedly glitching out and switching to another language when talking to someone, sometimes mid-sentence, and having them look at you in awe and confusion like they pressed a button in reality or something before you realize (or they point out) they can’t understand what you’re saying

Having to deal with (mostly US) native English speakers bolstering the strength and difficulty and poetry of their language, oh it’s one of the hardest languages to learn in the world because we have so many words from so many roots, when. No, it’s actually not. English grammar is incredibly easy compared to most languages. But because you have 5000 noninterchangeable words that mean the same thing, but are used in different contexts (safe/secure, see/watch, etc), an astounding number of verbal expressions instead of one-word verbs (pick up, look out, look after, etc) and absolutely no rule or logic regarding pronunciation and written language (WHY IS “RECIPE” WRITTEN/SPOKEN LIKE FRENCH, YOU’RE NOT FRENCH), you might think so. But English isn’t hard, it’s cheating. It has no logic. It’s not fair.

On the other hand, the ridiculous amount of different words you can use makes bullshitting in English a lot easier once you get a bit more savvy. Up to and including academic essays, facebook arguments, and fanfiction.

Watching in horror people adopting English barbarisms in the most despicable way, by using false cognates as actual cognates.

Posting in all languages you’re comfortable in + English, and telling people to use the fcking embedded gtranslate when they complain

(I’m making this all too personal)

Always learning something new. Which is amazing, honestly. (”Oh you mean it’s spoken like that?! That’s so cool! Okay: *repeats sentence correctly*”)

Parroting your friends whenever they use a word or term you’re unfamiliar with until you learn it

Remembering that S1 ends with a murder-suicide:

Justice for VANESSA GUILLEN

Justice for BREONNA TAYLOR

Justice for all those IMMIGRANTS that are being unfairly treated like animals

Here it is! The instructions to make a pieced and quilted plague doctor mask!

Just as a heads up, this pattern is not really recommended for beginners. There is not a whole lot of explanation of the basic techniques, and it requires a fair bit of precision, two types of fusible interfacing, and an assumption that you can keep a consistent seam allowance and do some hand sewing and know when to sew things right sides together and such.

I am not promising anything, different methods will yield different results, I have never made a pattern exactly as it was written and neither should you. If you want something the same as the next person, go to the shops.

Actually, nevermind, this is a quarantine craft, stay home.

Fuck yes I have never been able to articulate my thoughts properly for two years but this YouTube message did in a couple of paragraphs