Same side of the moon

We are beyond proud to present to you the Théâtre des Vampires fanzine! Covers were done by the incredibly talented @haflacky & @artgroves 💫

Featuring 2 books, 10 pieces of merch. 47 artists and 58 pieces total! 🎉

Take a peek below:

Cosplay spread featuring Anki and Michelle_Requiem. Art by @mellowammy and fic by Bianca.

After it’s revealed that Sailor Zhang has been cheating women left and right, and also pretending to buy expensive fish to swindle his elder brother Manager Liu out of pocket money, so that Liu tried to frame him for murder in return.

Sailor Zhang: Just for three fishes…

Manager Liu: It’s not a matter of just three fishes!

Over to Doorman Bai’s turn to present evidence:

Doorman Bai: I went to Manager Liu’s room, and discovered a baby. (Detective Sa instantly cracks up.)

Manager He: This is way too brutal…

Doorman Bai: The baby had a note saying “Hua Hua’s baby cried”

Manager Liu: Doesn’t the name “Hua Hua” sound familiar to everyone?

Manager He: Yes.

Detective Sa: Here it is. *reads the records of Sailor Zhang’s exchanges with the women he cheated* Hua Hua says “Zhang Ge, your smile, that is 30% smirk, 30% coolness and 40% nonchalance…I like it too much. It’s too charming. (together with He) I want to have a baby with you.”

Doorwoman Rong: And then she really had one!!

(…)

Manager Liu: It’s very simple. He (Sailor Zhang) actually doesn’t stay at the hotel much. So Hua Hua couldn’t find him. She found me instead. And she handed over the child to me. I didn’t have a choice! That’s my little brother’s flesh and blood! So I raised the baby in the interim, while still praying that he would come back soon. And then one day, my little brother really did come back! Furthermore, he admitted very honestly that the child was his. But he couldn’t find Hua Hua either. So he borrowed another sum of money from me, saying he’d look for the child’s mother, and disappeared again.

Doorwoman Rong (to Sailor Zhang): My god, you’re such scum…!

Sailor Zhang: I am having so much fun.

(…)

Doorman Bai: Manager Liu also had this exchange with his ex-girlfriend in 2004. His girlfriend said: “Why did you give the money we so painstakingly saved to your brother? Isn’t it enough that you’re balding because of him?” (…) 

“He’s my little brother, blood is thicker than water, I must be responsible for him. Money can be earned again, but my little brother is irreplaceable.”

His ex-girlfriend said: “Then there’s nothing more to discuss, I already know the answer. I know what they’d call you: Brocon.” (Manager He chortles) 

*everyone pauses to start laughing* 

Manager He, also cracking up: It’s supposed to be a touching story, why is it so funny?

Doorman Bai, finishing up: “People like you must be avoided. Let’s break up.” Then, Liu said: “It’s fine to break-up. But you have to promise me: you won’t tell my brother about this.”

Manager He, pained: Aaahh…..

Doorman Bai: So, even though he broke up, he won’t let his little brother know how much he’s sacrificed for him.

Manager Liu: ………..*shakes his head* This isn’t familial love.

Caption on Manager He’s head and Zhang Sailor’s head: “Then what is it….?” “Cannot be said out loud, cannot be said out loud”

Over to Manager Liu’s turn to present evidence:

Manager Liu: I went to Bai Bai’s room. First thing is, there are a huge amount of post-its in Bai Bai’s room. All of them are left to him by He. *reads post-its from Manager He to Doorman Bai* “I changed all your carbonated drinks, your ice cream, soda, super sweet juices to my original, home-cooked healthy tea. Take care of your skin~! - signed, ge ge (elder brother)”

Manager He: >///<

Manager Liu, still reading post-its: “Sleeping in red bedsheets, I wish for my little brother to have sweet dreams every night on the year of his astrological sign! - signed, ge ge”.

“Wear the limited edition woolen red underwear that ge ge ordered for you! I wish your every step to be cool. - signed gege”

Doorman Bai (exploding): This is defamation. WHO WOULD WEAR WOOLEN UNDERWEAR.

Manager He, cracking up: Little brother, I already tried to find one that doesn’t prick, but it’s the material, there’s always going to be a bit of sensation. Bear with it.

Manager Liu: That’s not all of it. The most spectacular one is coming. *reads* “I already helped you to contact Amy. I have also arranged blind dates for you and all the ladies in M city! - signed ge ge”. WHAT an elder brother!!

Doorman Bai: For real. I think my elder brother is going a bit overboard with this. (to Manager He) Do you really think that I’ll be happy to meet with so many ladies?

Manager He: …..Hmmm. *glancing at Sailor Zhang* Why don’t you ask him?

Sailor Zhang, mumbling plaintively: Yeah, my elder brother sent me away just for three fishes…!

Zhang Ruoyun posted this photo of noodles he presumably cooked and tagged Bai Yu on his Weibo post

Bai Yu: it looks just average

Zhang Ruoyun: perfectly suitable for the just average you

Chaos will definitely ensue when Zhang Ruo Yun appears.

“Under The Microscope” does not escape from his grip either.

Playing as somebody in the spectrum (in the drama, he is called “Arithmetic Nut”, and “Dummy” by his beloved friends), Zhang Ruo Yun dictates the drama as he strutted through the drama, avoiding any eye contact and seemingly to have been lost in the mathematical world.

And creating chaos while at it.

But did you notice the tiny little smile on his face when he got what he wanted?

“Under The Microscope” starts really well. When Shuai Jia Mo found a discrepancy between the sizes of the rice fields that he was measuring and the ones on the paper, he could not let it go. He had to find the answer why. Number never lies. So, there must be something to it.

That small discovery led him to a bigger and more complicated matter that slowly but surely shook the government of the Great Ming.

I urge you to watch this series. This kind of drama comes very seldom. Everything about this drama is simply perfect. But what I like the most is the telling of Shuai Jia Mo character. We are not told, we are shown. We understand him through the reactions of other characters. We are as confused as them, but at the same time we are treated with Zhang Ruo Yun’s acting, which is for me a pure delight.

No matter where this drama will lead me, I will be there. Even when the brush behind the screen will stab me and make me cry.

“Under The Microscope”,

starred by: Zhang Ruo Yun, Wang Yang, Qi Wei, etc.

chen shen

pros: best secret agent and fighter, teetotaller, hairdresser skills, remembers your favourite breakfast from three years ago, knows your measurements and where to get you the best tailored qipaos , will cover for you when you risk getting exposed to the secret police

cons: in so deep he doesn’t even know what the secret mission is anymore, cries a lot, mentor is top-brass traitor with ties to the Japanese, will never love you as much as he loves the Cause ™ 

tang shanhai: 

pros: voted Most Handsome in the Shanghai secret police bureau, graduated top of his class in Yan An secret agent school, snappy dresser, knows foreign languages and will cook you Western cuisine, reads both Classical Chinese and avant-garde German prose, definitely loves you more than the Cause ™ , perfect cover since everyone literally thinks he’s just too handsome to be dangerous , stone cold murders your problems for you and then takes you out to dinner 

cons: will fuck up some important detail at the last moment and very nearly expose you both, can’t hold his chill, itching for some of that Heroic Sacrifice ™ so that maybe you’ll finally notice him, weak for that fake marriage trope 

tao dachun: 

pros: leader of top secret ops squad in the country, multiple disguises, sharpshooter, martial arts expert, cooks mean dumplings, will help you pursue personal revenge plots and not report you to the organization 

Long Night in Longwood

by ElDiablito_SF

art by @cobaltmoonysart​​ (rebloggable art here)

M, 14k, wangxian, jiang cheng & lan wangji

Summary:  For three years, Marshal Lan “The Swan” Zhan and Marshal Jiang “JC” Cheng have been scouring the country for Wei Wuxian, who’d done a runner from Chicago after causing a fracas. Could it be they finally found… him???

[Author’s Note:   The “Longwood” in this story is intended purely to be a penis joke and is not supposed to resemble any actual place in the US that might be called Longwood. :)]

My comments:  Aww, this was delightfully absurd, and I enjoyed every bit of it. Also, the included artwork is fantastic. Also, also: Old Shitface Yao the saloon owner is going to nourish me for a week.

Excerpt:  “Well, I’ll say,” JC mumbled, looking askance at the singer and the corpse of the former proprietor of the saloon. “The crowd was getting restless and I came back here to see how you were getting on. And what do I find? A corpse, and the two of you in a prelude to the carnal embrace. What about your undying love for Wei Wuxian, huh?”

“Who’s Wei Wuxian?” The Red Lotus looked momentarily scandalized. “That your girlfriend, sweetie? I should’ve known a handsome cad like you would be taken.”

“It’s not…” Lan Zhan stammered a bit helplessly. “I’m not…”

“What? Taken?” the Red Lotus asked with a sly grin.

“Handsome,” JC cut in, throwing Lan Zhan a rather judgmental look.

“Look, it’s…” Again, Lan Zhan found himself at a loss for words. “It’s all rather complicated. But in any case, you don’t know that name, then?”

“Who, darling?”

“Wei Ying.”

“Who’s that, baby?”

“Wei Wuxian,” JC cut in again.

“Well, which is it, I haven’t got all night,” the singer declared as she turned towards her vanity and fixed the locks of the crimson wig around her sharp cheekbones.

“It’s the same man!” JC replied, growing visibly irritated.

“Oh! It’s a man! Well, why didn’t you say so before, darling? Here I was all getting worked up and jealous.” She looked back over her shoulder and threw a playful wink in Lan Zhan’s direction.

western au, ukraine charity auction, jiang cheng & lan wangji, lan wangji has friends, POV lan wangji, humor, crack, crack treated seriously, sassy lan wangji, pretending to be a girl wei wuxian, crossdressing, POV jiang cheng, farce, getting together, the body count is getting kind of high, funny, fanart, @jadedbirch​

1. I can see how people’s names and the cities and the countries are spelled.

2. I don’t miss any words, so everything they say makes sense.

3. I get to know what background noises and conversations are.

4. The descriptions of the noises people make are freaking awesome. Ex: splutter, grunt, chuckles.

5. I can see who says what.

6. I don’t have to have the volume super loud so I can hear the dialogue, and I don’t blow my eardrums out because the ambient noises and music is SO FREAKING LOUD.

I had such a great time working with WindierElf for the T'hy'la Bang 2022. I haven't participated in an Star Trek event since 2013 so it was fun to draw this time instead of write.

“Scared cat gets saved by two French guys”

I’ve opened a shop with some stickers and keychains/charms! I’m extremely excited to reveal them after working on the whole thing for what feels like ages. I hope you’ll take a look!