Stardust with People Names

- middle aged man who ordered matcha and then just Stood There and watched me make it. when i handed it to him he said i did a good job whisking it and handed me $1.25. ten minutes later when he and his wife left he shouted across the store that i have "good whisk technique" and "don't lose that!"

- woman who ordered a drink with the word "salty" in the name and then said "but with salted caramel." and when i said yeah that one comes with salted caramel she said "really? not just normal caramel?" and it took every ounce of my self control not to say yeah girl that's why it's called. Salty.

This time I decided that historical laundresses probably knew what they were doing, and grabbed a metal pole to stir my DIY laundry cauldron and poke the floaty bits back under the surface. Historical laundresses were right, it works great.

As I stood there, I had a moment where I thought, ‘oh wow, so many women in my family tree must have done this exact set of motions throughout history.’ Which should be a humbling and heartwarming feeling of connection, right?

Wrong. I swear I could feel twenty generations of shtetl women going “For this you went to college? You want to work with old shmattes all day, fine, but you could have saved the tuition to buy a house.”

I mean, I get why it’s not as popular here on Tumblr dot com, given it’s kinda a jock/military adjacent thing, but like. Our ability to just. Pick up a small, firm object, judge its internal inertia and mass by holding it for a bit, and then flinging it with the kind of accuracy and speed Humans are capable of is.

Like there’s another post about how Humans in an alien zoo would probably be breaking out constantly, since we consider escape rooms to be a fun courtship ritual, but

Rocks (you will cry about one (1) rock)

Space germs/pond life in space (eating ur sun)

More space pond life

Found family (see: rock. You WILL cry)

Russian prison tattoos (just one)

Adorable kids (meat and rock varieties)

Karaoke (music with rocks in, non-Pratchett variety)

Really good space science

Truly terrible linguistics but who cares

Cute fox sweaters

It's not even that the setting or scenario is especially appealing, not like, incel transmigrates into man who has harem pheromones or lifelong weakling becomes the demon queen or etc, MC is thrilled because five minutes ago they were dead and for several years before that they were terminally ill and now they're not either of those things.

So someone offers to let Toph touch their face

But being Toph, she is sick of merely explaining, again, that Blind People Don't Want To Paw Your Greasy Face

So she just makes them eat dirt instead

#( #prev: #You going to explain colors to me next? Because can show you brown #) #toph: *earthbends their face into some rock* #sokka: that's gray actually #toph: *earthbends sokka into the same rock*