For anyone new or just interested, my meta and headcanons are conveniently indexed here:
Stephen King's IT Masterlist
South Park Masterlist
Breaking Bad Masterlist
For more information, also check out:
About Me
Frequently Used Tags

izzy's playlists!

shark vs the universe
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

Janaina Medeiros
we're not kids anymore.

★
Sweet Seals For You, Always
noise dept.

#extradirty

Kiana Khansmith
macklin celebrini has autism

Love Begins
styofa doing anything

⁂
Today's Document
Cosimo Galluzzi
trying on a metaphor
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Chile

seen from Chile
seen from Chile
seen from Israel

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@dear-wormwoods
For anyone new or just interested, my meta and headcanons are conveniently indexed here:
Stephen King's IT Masterlist
South Park Masterlist
Breaking Bad Masterlist
For more information, also check out:
About Me
Frequently Used Tags

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all the things she said
fuck this post happy birthday Kim Wexler
Gus: You don’t look at him, you look at me
Jesse: *immediately looks back at Walt*
(begging you to get me started) UGH don't get me started.......

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Do we have a franz kafka diary entry for july 1st, i want to know what he thinks!!!
happy too tired July everyone
To commemorate my first trip to ABQ (driving down today), I wanted to write something quick about Walt’s continuously broken windshield in Season 3 and how, at least to me, it serves as a symbol of how fractured he and Jesse are in the time between Jane’s death and Gale’s death.
Walt’s windshield breaks a total of three times after Jane dies. In a way it represents him being unable to see the way forward in his life during this time, just as the broken glass prevents him from seeing the road ahead of him clearly. He is trying to shove down the guilt he feels about what he’s done, he’s unable to predict the consequences of his actions, and he can’t see what’s right in front of him. But on a more specific level, all three windshield incidents are Jesse-related - the breaks represent their relationship and Walt's emotional volatility in relation to Jesse. Walt can’t predict him, which he both thrives on and is eternally frustrated by, but he also can’t predict what HE will do FOR Jesse because it’s often a decision made on emotional impulse and not a carefully laid plan. He is at his most impulsive when Jesse is involved, which is a huge factor in why he feels so alive in this business.
Anyway, the first break comes from the plane accident - a direct result of Walt’s 'in the moment' decision to let Jane die. He made that choice for Jesse’s sake, to ‘never give up on family’, but also selfishly, because with Jane out of the picture, there is no one to pull Jesse away from him and no one to turn him in or threaten to. The plane crash that follows is something Walt grapples with for a while, trying to reason his way out of feeling responsible for that tragedy. But he knows, deep down, that his choice to ‘save’ Jesse from Jane came at a great cost (and really the dominoes began to fall way before that).
Walt takes a long time to fix that windshield because he doesn't want to face his involvement in breaking it. He doesn’t want to see the path forward, he takes comfort in the obstructed view, but the broken windshield also serves as a reminder of what he’s caused. Just like the teddy bear’s eyeball, the broken windshield keeps the plane crash with him, it keeps Jane and her father with him, and it tells him ‘this is what your attachment has wrought, but it was worth it because he’s still alive’.
The second windshield break comes when Walt pushes Jesse over the edge with his cold-ass “I’m in, you’re out” line in Saul’s office. This is the moment in S3 when their relationship is most fractured. Walt is mad because he sees Jesse as ungrateful for his help, for paying for rehab and giving him a place to sleep. To Jesse, he is only doing what he thinks is the only thing he’s good at and he wants Mr. White to be proud of what he accomplished on his own. But in Walt’s mind, Jesse thanked him by turning around and ‘stealing his formula’ (which Jesse views as THEIR formula) and trying to poach his distributor. So Walt plays nasty, effectively telling Jesse that not only are they done as partners, but he actually means nothing to Walt on a personal level, either, which devastates and infuriates Jesse.
Walt doesn’t anticipate Jesse’s emotional reaction to that level of rejection. It’s just money, right? But for Jesse, who has been abandoned by every trusted adult in his life through rejection, neglect, or death, it’s so much deeper than just not being allowed to cook. Walt isn’t just taking the formula, Walt is taking their shared history. So Jesse is the one who breaks the windshield this time, by throwing a rock at it (not sure how Walt didn’t predict this, since Jesse always throws things when he’s mad, like a frustrated housewife). I think it’s significant that although Walt does get the glass fixed quickly, he leaves the tape on the windshield for literally the rest of the season - a reminder of that moment, that betrayal, as he spends the remaining episodes of S3 ‘repairing’ his connection to Jesse. The blue tape is there to remind him as he moves forward, 'you did this, Walt, and don't forget it’. But it’s all a bandaid, ultimately - from paying for rehab to bringing Jesse into the super lab, none of it addresses his deeper feelings, so the wounds are all still there.
And then, of course, the final break is when Walt impulsively runs the two dealers over with no regard to the consequences for himself. This is maybe one of the only truly selfless things Walt ever does (though he retroactively makes it selfish by using this event to manipulate Jesse later). He walks out on his family to stop Jesse from getting himself killed knowing full well he could just as easily die trying, but he doesn’t give it a second thought. And so the windshield comes full circle - the first time it breaks is the result of ‘saving’ Jesse, but in doing so he also so thoroughly ruined Jesse, and the final time it breaks is also the result of saving Jesse, though he can’t anticipate how these dominoes will fall either.
It’s worth noting that Walt regains a lot of confidence from doing this. He’s been a cog in Gus’ machine but now he can don his Heisenberg hat and confidently meet Gus in the desert to not only defend Jesse’s actions as well as his own, but to make demands to keep them both safe for the moment. And, again, he keeps the broken windshield until Mike tells him he HAS to get it fixed. A reminder, but this time it’s a positive one, a brag, even - ‘see the lengths I will go for him, no matter the cost’. No half measures, right Mike? (But that’s an essay for another day).
The evolution of the glass mirrors Walt’s own evolution - at first, he avoids facing the shame he feels for his choices, the second time around he wants the reminder of the damage he caused so that he will feel bad, and by the third time he’s proud of the damage. ‘Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair’ and all that jazz…
Walt does get the car fixed, fully this time and with no blue tape in sight, because the way he sees it, the break in his top priority relationship has already been repaired (for now). Jesse is devoted to him again, completely. Jesse is relying on him for safety and security. Jesse sees him as a hero again. Jesse knows he will kill for him if needed. And I don’t think Walt even knew he would do that until he did it. The path forward wasn’t clear until that moment. Impulsive, unpredictable. Alive.
So today I found Jimmy and Kim on a Celestial Seasonings painting in Colorado.
One of the horrifying things about Pluribus that I can’t stop thinking about is how the the WHOLE WORLD doesn’t just know she’s gay now. They also know every time they’ve had sex,every time they’ve kissed, every time they’ve said I love you, every single thing about Helen’s life even stuff Carol doesn’t know (like how Helen likes cotton candy). I’m sure that when Zosia and Carol slept together Zosia did exactly what Carol likes in bed BECAUSE THEY KNOW THAT TOO! And then every single awful thing Carol experienced at conversion camp and anything she told Helen about how she felt about it. Like the only bit of privacy Carol has left is stuff she never ever told anyone. Like she wasn’t just outed on a normal level, every single secret she ever had that ever at any point existed outside of her own head they know now. Everyone knows now.
it's so funny when men try to act like walter white is a stoic badass when he spends 50% of the show's run time looking like this

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The most obsession inducing trait a character can have for me is knowing somewhere in their heart That They Are A Bad Kid
This isn't necessarily literal. It can apply to characters who aren't children too. But there's something about characters who are either certain of the fact, or terrified of the possibility, that they are just fundamentally wrong and bad at their core
It is also important to me that it is not true. No one is fundamentally broken and evil.
the most fun a girl can have is finding parallels, noticing patterns, making connections, contemplating
drops my annual jimmy portrait then stumbles away
Feeling inspired... Might put off writing and think about it the whole time
Local goth says world ok actually

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now imagine a au with these three working together as home renovators
Love character relationships that can only be described as "whatever the fuck these two have going on"