I want to do a full analysis on the use of different animal symbolism in relation to Jesse, eventually, but there's so much to say and I really just want to write about one thing in particular at the moment, so... maybe instead of doing one incredibly long meta, I'll split it into a series of posts.
Anyway! This guy:
The beetle in the opening of Peekaboo has long been associated with Jesse's compassion and humanity. The gentle way he handles it speaks to the extent to which he values life, especially innocent life, and this comes up again and again in the series - from the way he interacts with people he meets on the street (addicts, sex workers, the displaced/unhoused), to the way he tries to protect children from corruption and harm, to the way he acts as a silent observer of creatures most people would kill without a second thought (as Skinny Pete does with this beetle).
Even when he kills Walt's fly later on, it's not because he wanted to or would have on his own, it was for Walt, because Mr. White was losing it and Jesse's concern for him outweighed everything else (plus, foreshadowing of Gale, a much bigger compromise made for Walt).
But Jesse's compassionate nature is not solely what I want to focus on in this post. The beetles featured in this scene and the one in El Camino are Philolithus elatus infernus, a species of beetle found throughout New Mexico. What's interesting about the use of THIS specific beetle during Jesse's Season 2 arc is that Philolithus elatus has no solid defense mechanisms against predators. It survives primarily due to mimicry, because it closely resembles a different type of beetle that can defend itself by warding off predators with scent. Mimicry is not a fool proof method, but it's enough to survive!
Like this beetle, Jesse also heavily engages in mimicry, particularly in seasons 1 and 2. He doesn't really know who he is when the series begins because his entire life is built around putting on a show for other people. His true self was rejected by his parents, so he constructs a persona to protect himself from everyone else, especially after entering the drug trade. His clothing choices are loud, often abrasive, and five sizes too big because that's what he thinks makes him look tough and cool to his associates. The slang words he uses are chosen so that he can fit in more easily. He lies and upsells his lifestyle and circumstances so that he sounds more successful and rough around the edges. His Monte Carlo has a statue of the Virgin Mary on the dashboard and why? Jesse is not religious. Jesse just wants to convey a particular persona and fit in with the community he wants to be a part of. No one needs to know that he came from the upper middle class suburbs. No one needs to know that at his core he is an artist, emotional and nurturing. No one needs to know that he hasn't changed a thing about his Aunt Ginny's house and sleeps in a pink bedroom with floral curtains because he can't bear to redecorate yet.
The way he displays himself is an act - he takes bits and pieces from the people he sees and interacts with who he feels are more impressive than he is, smarter or tougher or more assertive. He talks differently when Combo is around versus when it's just Skinny and Badger. He admired Jane's assertive personality after meeting her enough to integrate her DBAA phrase into his vocabulary the next day and then aspects of her clothing style after she passes. He repeats phrases Mr. White says - when he tries to teach Badger how to cook, when he tells his friends to 'apply yourselves' while selling, even way down the line he channels Mr. White in the lab in Mexico despite having a catastrophic falling out with him just beforehand.
Jesse has been rejected and shamed all his life for the parts of his personality that make up his core. He can't always hide who he really is, but he wants to appear a certain way as much as he can. With something as simple as handling the beetle in Peekaboo, he abruptly stands up straight and pretends to be nonchalant the moment Skinny Pete enters the scene. Even with his friends, he doesn't want to let his emotional guard down. He doesn't want to appear too empathetic, which is why he looks disturbed but says nothing when Pete kills the beetle.
Without his persona, Jesse knows he's an easy target. Hell, the persona really doesn't do much to convince anyone otherwise, if we're being honest here. Everyone can see right through it, as much as he tries. Walt calls it with his blowfish "pep talk" later - but I think the beetle is a more accurate comparison. Because no matter what he may tell himself, Jesse isn't poisonous.
In El Camino, Jesse has another brush with Philolithus elatus infernus, in a beautiful "despite everything, it's still you" throwback moment. Because yes, after everything he's been through, Jesse hasn't lost his core - his humanity, his compassion, his sensitivity.
But in a way, the beetle is also telling him "despite everything, it's NOT you" - because he's tried so hard to emulate everyone else, and yes a lot of the skills he's picked up along the way have helped him survive - right after this scene he channels Mike - but in the end, it's all still mimicry for survival. He's not been completely hardened by his experiences, he's not like all the men who have tried to influence him, for better or worse, or break him down to serve their own needs. He's killed but he isn't a killer. He isn't cold, he isn't empty. He is not that person.
Like the beetles, he has acted the part for as long as he had to. And yes, he's been changed by it all. He'll never be able to forget or fully move on. These experiences will follow him forever. They're a part of him now. But maybe, in his new life, he can finally embrace the little boy who felt he needed to be different to gain approval and allow himself to just be Jesse (... y'know, without actually using the name Jesse).
