Born to die - Maul x Reader
Part 17 previous
Ok guys this is a nice fluffy one I promise, the two of you deserve it lowk. I am aiming to get chapters out every 4 days to a week so ya. Next one's gonna be more action packed WEEWOOWEEWOO I LOVE THIS MAN SO MUCH IT HURTS AND IM GOING INSANE!!!!
Hours. Maul and you lay there for hours, both of you naked, tired but so satisfied, just talking. Your head rested on his chest, his arms curled around your waist and your legs intertwined with his cool, metal lower half. You listened to the bass of his voice humming from his chest as he spoke, it was so soothing. You'd never felt more at peace in the force, not with the Jedi, not with your friends, with him.
The thought of this being a mistake was swiftly cut from your mind, Maul felt that pull in the force too, this was meant to happen. You would figure out why eventually. As for your feelings for him, that was still complicated. You liked him, as a man - as a partner however? That was a little trickier.
It was all well and good admitting to yourself that you wanted to be with him, but the execution of that would be catastrophic. It had been 7 months since you'd first met Maul in that cave, and you had gotten to know him since then, but you still had an inkling that he had yet to show you everything about him. Yes, he had shown you his past, which made you more confident that he wouldn't double cross you, but you hadn't seen the full extent of his way of thinking at this point in his life; how those instances in the past have influenced his decision making.
The only answer, was time. The more time you spent with him, going on missions, living on Mandalore, talking to the syndicate - the more you'd get to know him, truthfully. And after all that, then you would know if it would be the right decision to enter a relationship with him. That is - providing he also wanted a relationship with you. Neither of you had done this before, nor been taught how to. Anything that happened would be an untrodden path for the pair of you.
After a while, Maul got up to grab a towel from his en suite bathroom to clean you up. You took in more of his room, it was in all honesty, very plain. A typical 'man room', mostly grey with only the bare essentials on display. One thing that did stand out to you however, was a large amulet attached to a necklace that sat on his bedside table. You didn't touch it, just admired it. It had blue streaks running through its metal, glowing as the candlelight flickered.
"Here, I uhh, do apologise for causing such a mess." Maul said shyly, handing you the towel.
"Thank you, and it's fine. In fact, I hope there's more where it came from." You replied playfully, beginning to clean yourself and the sheets up. Maul bore a devious smile and grabbed another towel to clean himself up with too.
After you were done, you handed back the towel to Maul, which he tossed in a nearby laundry bin before slipping his boxers back on. He handed you your underwear that you also got dressed into. A tension arose in the air, neither of you knew what to do. Did you cuddle, leave, or go for round 2?
"I like your amulet, it's very pretty." You spoke, breaking the silence.
"Not mine, my brothers." Maul replied as he sunk back into the bed, his arm resting on the headboard behind you.
"Oh... I'm sorry."
"Don't be." He said sincerely before taking a beat. "You know, he would've liked you, as a person."
You whipped your head around to face him in surprise, you gathered Maul was not the type to talk about these things often, so the rare moment caused you to listen attentively. "Do you reckon?"
"Mhm, he was fond of gentler things, people. My other brother, Feral, namely." Maul's demeanour was so soft as he talked of his family, it only added to the ache of the knowledge that they were taken from him so brutally.
"Were you close, the three of you?"
"Yes, though I was more solitary. My... abilities set me apart from the rest of my tribe growing up."
"I know how you feel. Whilst my mother worked, I tried to make friends with some of the other kids that lived near me but... none of them understood. One day my mother came home whilst I was showing my neighbour that I could levitate a chair and she flipped." You confessed, Maul watched intently as you recounted your past.
"She'd tried for 8 years to hide me from the Jedi, not wanting me to get taken away but, after that she finally gave up. Thought it was best for me to go with them, get trained with other kids like me. So off I went." You sighed a sorrowful breath. "I never saw her again."
"Do you ever think about her?" He asked softly.
"All the time. I just want to know she's safe. And I want her to know that I'm safe. I wouldn't want to drag her into this business, Jedi/Sith stuff. She doesn't deserve that."
Maul soaked up this knowledge with every word you spoke, his eyes glistening with empathy. "My mother was a great witch, more powerful than even you or I. Though despite her strength she still fell at the hands of Sidious" His fists curled slightly at the thought of his former master.
"We will avenge her. Sidious will pay for the lives he's taken, and the ones he plans to take." You replied, resting a hand on his.
"Yes. He will." He stated, his gaze rising back to the ceiling in thought.
After a pause, you cleared your throat. "I um, suppose I should head back to my quarters then."
"How come?"
"The mercenaries may see me leaving here in the morning, I don't want them to get the wrong idea, which would actually be the right idea but- you get what I'm trying to say." You blurted out.
"I do. You needn't concern yourself with their thoughts. They answer to me, any scrutiny you face will be dealt with." His defensiveness of you was attractive, you wondered if he treated all of his 'friends' like that, though you doubted it.
"I don't want anyone getting hurt or dismissed or whatever you plan to do to them, I'd rather avoid it altogether." You felt like such a Jedi for saying that. In the back of your mind, you did want him to punish anyone who looked at you the wrong way, or spoke ill of you. His hint of possessiveness only made you want him more.
"I understand, though... your warmth will be... greatly missed." The man said, avoiding eye contact with you.
You chuckled lightly to yourself. "If you want me to stay, you can just say that?"
"I uhh... do." A sheepish smirk grew across his face. *He's so cute when he's flustered.*
"Alright, I'll leave early, hopefully no one will see." You said, settling into the covers.
"Ha, maybe you could use a mind trick, that went splendidly for you last time." The zabrak joked, referencing your blunder at the club not long after you first met.
"You can be quiet now Maul." You kept a dead pan face as he giggled. Every time he looked back at your face, he only laughed harder. You wanted so badly to laugh with him, his face was priceless.
*Of course he'd laugh so hard at his own joke.*
The night progressed with the two of you falling discreetly into an embrace. His arm tucked underneath you and your head resting on his muscular chest. You chatted for a little while before exhaustion came over both of you, leading you into a deeply restful slumber, tied up in each other's arms.
You stayed true to your word, leaving as soon as a crack of sunlight hit your face through the shutters. You threw on the clothes you wore last night, Maul offered you to shower in his room but you decided against it, wanting to use your own products. Slinking out of the room, you made your way back to your quarters, the door hissing shut behind you.
The light from the rising sun painted your face as the reality of what had happened last night fully hit you. You had sex. With Maul. He fucked you. You fucked him? *And it was so hot.*
Your head was a blur of excitement, amazement and maybe a bit of panic. How were things going to change, were things even going to change? Could you live like this? Just being each other's hook up?
*No, no I can't do that to myself, nor him either.* You didn't want to confront your emotions, so you decided to do the next best thing with your day off on Mandalore. Drink!
Obviously you had to wait until at the very earliest 5pm, so you went with the next best thing to fill the time - exploring. Maul had told you last night that he had some holo-meetings to attend so for the first time, you had the freedom to roam without him.
You got ready for the day in your civilian attire, a backless, sleeve-less turtleneck top and some combat leggings. A little less colourful than you would've gathered but you didn't want to draw too much attention to yourself, not with the whole syndicate out for your neck.
That was another thing you wanted to work on; Maul's mercenaries seemed to get the impression that you weren't entirely loyal to his regime. You weren't, not completely, that was true but you also weren't loyal to the Jedi order. You wanted to have an opportunity to prove yourself within their ranks, earn their trust, earn their respect.
After a few hours of walking, you made it to the centre of the city. At midday, most of the civilians were just going about their normal lives. You could see people in office buildings, chefs in restaurants prepping for the lunch rush, retailers putting out new stock. Mandalore was actually a very decent planet, The Republic had stated that is was overrun with corruption and plagued by terrorists - that wasn't at all true.
You leaned over a balcony overlooking a small cluster of trees, watching the people go by when you sensed a familiar presence approach.
"A pleasure to see you again, Rook."
"Master Jedi." The mandalorian stopped aside you as you turned your body to face her. You could feel her words like sandpaper against your skin. The hate inside her oozing from her mouth.
"Ok, this has to stop. I left the order and I'm gonna level with you right now, I wasn't even supposed to be made a master, they just needed more generals." You stated bluntly, hoping that would possibly strengthen her view of you.
She just looked you up and down, her smoky eyes trailing your build, judging you. You made the sneaky decision to peer into her thoughts; she wanted to fight you, beat you so that she could return to being Maul's prized warrior - she thought you were weak. That was the main root of her resentment. *Harsh.*
"Now, it's our day off, how's about we spend it not at each others throats?" You said, shrugging.
"I'm not at your throat, though I can be if that's what you'd prefer?" She replied half joking, reaching for her vibroblade.
"Rook, I don't want to fight you, I don't want any conflict at all. Can you at least tell me what you have against me? I have been nothing if not nice to you." She lowered her gaze, obviously she wasn't going to say what you had read in her mind, but she pondered what she could say that would make the most sense without revealing her true thoughts.
"In the order or not, you're still a Jedi, in the way you think, act. You're a liability, you'll always side with them." She spoke that last word with venom.
"Do you have any evidence of that?" You asked, folding your arms.
"I don't need it." She said, mirroring your action.
You sighed. *Force, she was more stubborn than Maul. Are they all like this?*
"What have I got to do to prove to you that I'm not what you say I am?"
Rook went quiet, deep in consideration. She couldn't actually think of an answer, truthfully, she didn't think she could ever trust you. Especially not after she saw you slink out of Maul's quarters at the crack of dawn this morning.
"Alright, why don't we go for a drink? As friends? Get to know me, as a person. I feel like we have a lot in common?" You tried to relate to her, thinking it would all be nicer to drink with a few 'friends' rather than alone.
"Ha! Only if you buy the whole syndicate a round." She snickered, turning her head to leave.
"Sure!" You said jovially, clasping your hands together.
"What?" She whipped back around to face you.
"Yeah I can do that. Actually that would be better, I can get to know you all!" You had quite a few credits saved up from the temple when you did an odd favour for another Jedi. It was a damn good thing you remembered to bring them.
"Hmph, fine, I guess I'll see you later then." She waved her hand at you then ignited her jetpack, gliding back to the palace.
You weren't sure what you had just gotten yourself into, but even if there was the small chance of finding an 'in' with the syndicate, you had to take it. You were here for the long term now, and having a few friends besides your obstinate, zabrak/Sith hookup-situation, might be a good idea.
5pm finally rolled around, you sat in a bar aptly named 'The Beskar Jug', waiting for Rook and the rest of the Mandalorians to arrive. You tapped at the rim of your glass containing a half drunk cocktail, you were thankful the barman had tipped a little extra liquor in there, the faint buzz had already started setting into your limbs. Eventually, you spotted a few recognisable faces walk in and approach your table.
"Y/n, Rook tells me rounds on you tonight?" Gar Saxon strolled in wearing his civilian clothes followed by the rest of the main mandalorians of The Shadow Collective. He looked at lot more relaxed than usual, a nice change from his usual uptight demeanour. Out of all of the syndicate, Saxon had been by far the most welcoming, which isn't saying all that much considering how the rest of them treated you.
"Yep, thought we could have some fun on our night off." You watched as the group took their seats, Rook sitting furthest away from you.
"Hmm, big man not coming?" One of the others said, a drink already in his hand.
"Does he usually?" You asked the man, you believed his name was Thalen Crest, though you couldn't remember entirely.
"Here and there, never has a drink though." Saxon answered for him. Maul definitely didn't seem like the drinking type, so his absence didn't come as much of a surprise. Plus, this was your night to get to know the syndicate, and hopefully, get Rook off your back.
"I see, well, we can enjoy the night without him either way." You announced, finishing off the rest of your drink.
"Oh really, I thought you two were joined at the hip?" Rook chimed in, her tone insinuating some subtext in her words.
You let out a long breath. "I've was tethered to that man in a cave once, I'd rather not do it again - too much monologuing." You joked, earning a hearty laugh from Thalen.
"Ha- you know, you're funny. I thought Jedi were supposed to be some stuck up, hierarchical, smeelmos." Crest had clearly already had a few to drink and was spilling over his words, so you took no mind to his slightly insulting sentence.
"Well, that life's behind me. And... I'm working on starting a new, I uhh, just need a little help." You replied, looking up sheepishly at the mandalorians. They stared back at you, most with more sympathetic looks, probably willing to give you a shot. Rook, however, kept to her usual death glare.
"You play dejarik?" You asked into the group. Crest's eyes lit up in excitement - you had found your 'in'.
The more you all drank, the better the night became. You had played, by this point, nearly 60 rounds of the game, rotating who you played with each time. It was a good method, you got to have a little conversation with each mercenary as you progressed. The alcohol helped, not just for you, everyone appeared a hell of a lot more relaxed than how you had usually seen them, especially the lower ranking mando's. You got to know all of their names, some found it surprising you even bothered to try to talk to them, you assured them you weren't like Maul. Not that he didn't care, just that you wanted to make friends.
Rook joined you for a few rounds, at first she didn't talk much, but after you bought her a few more drinks, she started to open up. It turned out, her ancestors had major conflict with the Jedi, many years ago. What surprised her though, was when you agreed that the Jedi were unreasonable in their actions against the mandalorians. Once you explained your point of view on the order and how they deal with issues like these, she really listened to you.
As the drinks flowed, the conversation became more casual. Both you and Rook were into fashion and nails. You began to bond over the fact that the men in the syndicate were so stubborn, which caught the attention of Saxon. The now drunk man took some offence to your comments, not seriously, but enough to rile him up. You too, were now slightly drunker than you had intended to be, and were just itching for a debate.
The bar bustled with the tipsy mercenaries, who started egging Gar on as he slurred about how it was really the women who were the stubborn ones and didn't follow orders. 'Ohh's' and 'ahh's' echoed through the establishment when you and Rook looked over at him with a similar thought in mind.
"The women are the problem then, hmm?" You said, your head spinning with the fuzz of alcohol.
"Well, it certainly isn't- hick- us men aye? At least- hick- we could beat you both with our b- brute strength!" Some other drunken Mando's cheered, you knew Saxon was intoxicated, but you weren't about to let him claim that he could beat you in a duel. That simply wasn't true, and what better way to prove yourself than settling a disagreement; the mandalorian way.
"Well Saxon, now I just don't think that's entirely true." You laughed at the man, observing his face turn rosier.
"Oh yeah?! Put em up sweetheart, let's put that to the test!" You didn't like the way he said that, whether he meant for it come out as unpleasant as it did was beyond you. In your state, there was no chance of you getting a good reading of his thoughts.
Rook downed her drink and interjected. "Gar, I don't think that's a good idea-"
"SHhhh! She wants to be in the syndicate, she's gotta prove it one way or another. Rook I know you agree!" She simply shrugged, at this point her opinion of you was grey at best, a good change from what it was, she mostly just wanted to see a bit of action.
"If you insist." Your blood pumped through you, usually bar's were made for dancing, but it was only fitting that this bar on Mandalore was made for fighting. *The legends weren't wrong, it really was their favourite pass-time!*
The hood of Maul's cloak draped down his back as he removed it from his head. From outside the bar, he could see almost every member of the collective sloshing around in merriment. Until he spotted you, rising from the dejarik table and putting up your fists. The zabrak closed his eyes and concentrated through the force, eventually pinpointing Saxon in the crowd.
*Oh I'm gonna beat her so good, I bet her skin feels so good, I want her to punch me in the-*
That was enough. Saxon had goaded you into a tussle that you were drunk enough to accept. Maybe you wanted the mando's to trust you more, maybe you just wanted the practice, who knows? What Maul now knew was that his right hand man didn't have the intentions he previously thought he did.
Saxon swung for a right hook, which you simply stood aside to doge. He swung again, and again, missing you each time. The mandalorian's heckled at him to try different moves, nothing you couldn't easily see coming. The man began to tire himself out, huffing and stumbling trying to land a hit on you. You looked back at Rook, who sat laughing to herself along with some other female members.
Eventually, you got bored, Gar's panting figure stood slumped in front of you surrounded by a ring of other men cheering him on. You chuckled, throwing a hard punch directly into the mans stomach, knowing the wind out of him. You giggled as he dropped to his knees in the circle of his friends, some patting you on the back.
Suddenly, the noise in the bar vanished. An eerie silence befell the room as you kept laughing to yourself at your victory, your eyes still buzzing from your drinks. You looked up, everyone had gone completely rigid, no one said a word.
Maul's now uncloaked figure stood parting the crowd in front of you and Saxon, staring down at the mandalorian's keeled over body. Even you had to hold your breath, Maul was an intimidating man. You honestly didn't know how he would react to your little bar brawl with one of his highest ranking mercenaries.
"I would've thought my commander wiser than to challenge Y/n here." The room hung on his every word, crippling anticipation gripped every mercenary inside.
Saxon rolled over, his brain not fully recognising who he was talking to. "It's not fair- hick- she's a Jedi!" He garbled from the floor.
"No, she's not. I train her."
The whole syndicate turned their head to look at each other. Something clicked for every one of them, Maul had just confirmed that you in fact were not a Jedi, something you would have thought was obvious seeing as you were working with The Shadow Collective. However, their leaders words resonated with them more than your own did, you felt the energy shift in the force; the harsh, unwelcoming frequency changed to a more open one. Even in your tipsy state, you could recognise the significance of Maul's words.
You nodded to him, to which he gave you a faint nod back. A small gesture of acknowledgment that he knew what you were trying to do, and helped you. The bar still hung in a stagnant quiet, all eyes were on their Lord, waiting to hear what he had to say.
"Seeing as my associate here has given you all a round out of her pocket, I will raise you the next two rounds, on me."
*Rook must have fed back my plan to him.*
The bar erupted in cheers. Every mandalorian raised their glass in a toast to their leader, rushing to the bar to order more alcohol. You stumbled slightly towards him, scoffing. "Of course you had to one up me."
"It would only be proper." He looked down at you smugly, his hands folded neatly behind him back. You gave him a glowing gaze before someone tapped you on the shoulder.
"Heyyy, Y/n. You know I didn't mean those things right? You're alright you know, and if it means anything- hrmph- I like having you around." Saxon flung an arm round you.
"Why thank you Saxon." You said, discreetly shrugging off his limb.
"And they won't say it but, we do think you're a good addition to the team. As long as you keep buying us drinks!" He whisper-shouted in your ear, gesturing over to the other mandalorians.
"I'll see what I can do, commander." With that, the man sauntered back towards the crowd, approaching Rook. You couldn't hear what he said to her, but she promptly smacked him round the face. She looked over to you, you held a thumbs up as a way of asking if she was ok. She returned the motion, taking another swig of her drink. She was right where she wanted to be.
You turned back to Maul who looked completely unfazed by all of the chaos. "Did you... want to get a drink?"
Maul's eyes scanned the room as if assessing for any dangers, then met yours. You smiled at him sweetly, your eyes glossed over a little from the numerous drinks you already had. In his head, he thought you looked endearing, your hair a mess from your scrap with Saxon, your body language completely relaxed and happy. *Maker, with those eyes, she could tell me to do anything.*
His face remained stoic. "One."
The zabrak made his way over to the bar, the people in front parting to let him through. The barman slid a drink over to him, seemingly knowing what he was going to order. Maul placed a generous amount of credits down and walked back to you. It appeared he had a small amount of whiskey, on the rocks. Typical.
You and he talked for a small while as you both sipped on your drinks. Your bones began to feel weaker the more you drank, you were coming to that point in the night when being drunk wasn't as fun anymore. Maul took notice, subtly placing a hand on the small of your back and guiding you out of the door. Once outside, you took a breath of the fresh air. The noise from the bar was now a faint muffle as Maul's hand slowly left your body.
"That was fun." You huffed, leaning your back on a nearby railing.
"It looks like you certainly had fun, yes." Maul said sarcastically as he joined you on the railing. You took a moment to admire the city, the cool breeze gliding over your arms.
"I think Rook likes me now." You pushed off the railing, starting the walk back to the palace with Maul in tow.
"She didn't before?"
"No, she was mistrustful of the Jedi. I get that, I just had to get talking to her then we hit it off. I'm glad. She's nice." Your words came out more direct and unprofessional due to your intoxication. Maul knew, he didn't mind. In fact, he felt privileged to see you so comfortable, finally feeling like the two of you were settling into your 'friendship'.
"You said that about Saxon too." He spoke through gritted teeth, his eyes trailing to the side as he curled his fist.
"He's alright, a bit less nice now though." You kept to your own merriment, strolling cheerfully beside the man.
"I am aware of the conversation that transpired between you." That made you pause.
"Don't do anything, he's drunk. He didn't actually mean anything by it."
"Oh I know. It's his thoughts that betrayed him." Maul continued, his voice laced with menace.
"You read his mind?"
He looked to you, sighing. "It appears my commander does not have your best interest at heart." Maul wanted to say more, but he held back. Saxon showed interest in you, albeit not that much, but still too much for his liking. He'd tried to pretend that he didn't care, but when Rook informed him of your meeting at the bar, he couldn't help but follow.
"What do you mean?"
The man stayed quiet, still thinking of whether or not to tell you what he saw in Gar's mind, never mind his own opinion on the matter.
"Alrightttt." You accepted that Maul wasn't going to tell you, especially not whilst you were intoxicated. So, the two of you continued your stroll, falling back into regular conversation as you walked. Once you reached the palace, Maul led you straight to your quarters, where he leaned against the doorframe as you entered.
"Training at 07:00 tomorrow, don't miss it." He announced through the doorway.
"07:00? Must it be that early?" You groaned, mirroring him and leaning against the inside of the door, your bodies centimetres away from each other.
"You did this to yourself, my dear." His voice grew low and sultry as he purred the pet name. At least you assumed that's what it was, you hadn't heard him call anyone else that before.
"I know but you don't have to rub it in." Maul chuckled, watching your eyes flicker with drowsiness. He could've made you train later, but he had to admit, it was amusing seeing you get grumpy.
"Oh you find this funny? This is funny to you, huh? My Lord?" You joked, pushing his shoulder playfully.
"Yes, quite."
"Hmm, well then you won't be seeing me in your chambers anytime soon." You said boldly, quickly turning on your heel back into your room.
But not before he grabbed your arm, spinning you around back to face him. "You don't mean that." He grumbled, the bass of his voice reverberating through the empty corridor.
"No." You reached up, slinking your arms around his neck. He didn't fight, leaning down to meet your lips. "I don't."
Your nose squashed against his as you deepened the kiss. You could taste the whiskey on his mouth as you grasped at his horns. Maul broke off from you, not wanting this to turn into another situation where he knew he's get lost in you. Understanding, you gave him one last peck on the lips before retreating to bed.
