DC Reviewer

Action creates a taste for itself. Meaning: once you’ve swept the shelves of spoons and plates you kept for guests, it gets harder not to also simplify the larder, not to dismiss rooms, not to divest yourself of all the chairs but one, not to test what singleness can bear, once you’ve begun.

Let’s pause for a moment and point out how cool the Greek flag looked made out of seashells.  The opening horns are very ska-reminiscent (is that a theme in Greece, because wasn’t last year’s “Alcohol is Free” sort of ska-ish?), then we have a rapper/dj, which is about as hardcore as Eurovision gets.  I’ll download this one if I can.

Wow, is half the country out on stage???  That is a large band.  But I actually like the song, lots of energy in the performance, and quite easy to imagine playing on an advertisement for an airline.  Of special note are the well-done backing vocals.

Ok, big shoes to fill because Margaret Berger’s song for Norway was my favorite tune last year - I even face painted a heart for Norway to wear to the Swedish Embassy's Soiree.  Unfortunately, the shoes fit about like a Troll wearing Andre the Giant’s AirJordans. 

Ew;iajwe;;ew  Oh sorry I fell asleep just now.  The words are good, I guess.  But who goes to Eurovision for heartfelt ballads? #NOBODY

This is like a slower, less exciting One Direction.  There is something sort of cute in a throw-back-to-1999 way about the five guys dancing together with their coordinated outfits.  But this doesn’t even have enough going on to impress the average Eurovision voter.  No love for gluten-heavy songs this year, I suppose.

I like the opening of this song, he has a really cool sound.  I don’t know if it’s an accurate representation of Georgian folk music or a gross appropriation of the Lion King, but I like it either way.  Also, this is the first tune that I’m reviewing based off of the live performance, so my thoughts will be skewed by that, I guess.  Unfortunately, their singing voices are a bit spare and do not inspire success, which is why Thursday night was their swan song.

Maria’s got good style and a great hook that could make this song infectious ear candy for the final round.  She’s definitely better than the Tolmachevy Sisters (sorry Russia!), I’m glad Ukraine is bringing it.  The song could’ve done with less explicit similes (“my heart is like a clock”, “steady like a rock”), but what can you do?  It’s #Eurovision.

Ok, the singer is great looking, that never hurts, and the song is sorta jammable with up and downbeats.  Unfortunately, this is a domestic abuse song reminiscent of Legendtina’s shmarmiest songs.  This one could be a toss-up.

***, FINALS

The use of a simple woodwind did wonders for Emmelie de Foret, and Cetkovik apes that here with the opening, which is mirrored in the highly instrumental strings of the rest of the song.  I’m hoping that he plays some of his own instruments, because otherwise he’ll just be standing around for a long time.  It ends sort of abruptly, just like th-

***

This group seems a little bit like a US country band- perhaps The Band Perry.  Sort of an interesting choice for Eurovision, but I think it might stand out from the pack because of this.  A quick google search indicates that this group is comprised of Waylon, who has basically no internet presence, and Ilse DeLange, who’s been in the rodeo for quite some time.  This is definitely one of the songs that I’ll be downloading for my playlist.

I love when the sample video is obviously a live performance so I can get an idea of what the song will look like on stage.  It makes me a lot more confident when I say sorry, Suzy, but I won’t be seeing you on Saturday.  Unless you really infuse some more bass into this one.

**

Did I listen to this song?  Do I remember it?  “maybe.”

**