[via Washington Capitals on X]

Judges Say "We Can't Figure Out How He's Always First In Line For The Celly. It Shouldn't Be Possible. We Think He's Breaking Some Laws of Physics But That's Not Really Our Problem."

imagine growing up loving a team on the other side of the continent, idolizing one of the best players in the world, wearing his red jersey in a sea of blue. and then you get traded to his team. and then you get put on his line. and then. when he scores his 1,000 career goal (only the 2nd player in history to do it!). you're the first one to hug him.

He wants to take his grandma to France bc she's never been to Europe 🥺

He pranked Dewey by framing him for chili theft

He apparently is involved in the prank economy in the room outside of this

Sourdy and Chisolm went on a double date earlier this year??? Idk why that threw me as much as it did lmao