thing two

“This camp is fucked up. But, I respect you declining all of this.” He points to himself. 

“I don’t know why you would, but I guess. Adios.”

“Declining all of...? Oh-- Okay. Bye, then.”

“Welcome to the club. Enjoy eternal pain and suffering. Also, you might want to lock yourself up during full moons.”

“There’s a club? This isn’t just happening to me, then. Okay. I don’t get it, though. What is this?”

“Uh… I’m gonna go ahead and assume you don’t have the same issue I’m having.” Claire looked down at Kat’s hands, wondering if something was wrong with them. “It hurts?”

“Unless you’re randomly turning into a big fluffball with four legs, then nah, probably not.” She shrugged. “Every time I switch, I guess. It feels like my body is exploding or something.”

“what happened?? do i have to fight someone?”

“I don’t know? I sneezed and then I was small and fluffy. Like, I had paws and everything. But I couldn’t figure out how to turn back until I smacked my head on a wall and now I’m too scared to try to fix it. Help?”

“You’re the one that should be getting sued for being so darn cute.”

“But really, how does that even happen? Did you pet too many cats?”

“Whoa there, stranger danger. Do I even know you? Shut it down, dude.”

“A what who now? How-- How do I turn it off?”

Uh, okay? First, thank you. Second, a bakery sounds nice. How old are you and your sisters? Can you guys run a shop?

I-- I didn’t mean for that to come out but it’s out there now so, you’re welcome, I guess. Anyway, the important things, right. Uh, emotionally, mentally, or physically? In order I’d say, eighty, five, and we’re eighteen up. Either way, we used to run our shop back home, so it should be fine, right?

“hey, dark circles are hereditary. i don’t know who your parents are, it could just be your face. uhh, what concealer is going to advertise being light coverage? concealer is meant to cover shit up, not offer moderate concealing.”

“now you’re trying to blame my family? that’s pretty bold for someone you barely even know. actually, do i even know you? aren’t you that kid that ran away or something? or, like, one of them? --- what? i mean, yeah, i guess, but still. i have to direct my anguish somewhere! this concealer should have worked.”

Who wants to start a band? I’ll be the stereotypical girl that’s cute and can only hit a tambourine. 

Hey, um, hi. You’re Daphne, right? --- I’m Kat, my sisters want to open a bakery, you’re pretty, can we have a building in the square, yes, no?

Cristina, no ‘K’ and no ‘H’. I so appreciate where your priorities are at right now, Kat emphasis on the ‘K’. Uh huh, angles. Don’t forget your basics, that’s rule number one to the perfect selfie. Especially if you don’t want to scrub up and start again because hello, who has the time? But yes, these trying times. You made the- [ she gestures above them, twirling her finger in circles ] Magic portal? Or something equally as scandalous to be stuck here, no?

Cristina, cool. Are you one of the Aphrodite kids or are the ladies around here just all unreasonably hot? Because that’s kind of fucked up. Is it something in the water? Thanks for the selfie help. It doesn’t fix my face, but I can just avoid people in general and they can all admire me from afar. Okay, first of all, none of this is my fault. I’m guilty by association. Astrid’s the fuck up and the rest of us have to be here with her so she doesn’t cry.

Oh you mean this universe specifically. Because you’re not- Right, I’m there. Hey, you guys had some pretty awesome sandy beaches back through the hole. It was pretty paradise-like if you didn’t count that ah, whole monster thing. Wait, sorry. Was that insensitive to bring up? The island. I’m making a terrible impression here. I will find the god of cheap cosmetics to make up for my foolery, I swear.

Now you’re following, my dude. Ever since I got grounded on this universe, I feel like it’s been trying to kick me while I’m down. I know, right? I miss the beach, but that’s not really the same thing as missing home, you know? Nah, it’s fine, I would’ve brought it up eventually. Not as bad as this concealer. Oh, shit, really? Do you think Lady Aphro knows who they are?