strange you never knew

Jesus, leave his ass.

We learn fast to be very kind and attentive, tho.

My mom, who got her degree in Marriage and Family Counseling when she was 60, says studies show that women will sometimes sometimes leave a long term relationship to live on their own for a while before seeking a new relationship, but men will almost never leave a long term relationship without having a new relationship either in progress or just beginning.  They don’t want to give up the caretaker they have without another one on deck or in the wings.

This is so sad

yo this is why straight women should really keep their standarts sky high. Sky high standarts for men being “is able to clean his ass” “can differenate between bleach and tomatoes” the list goes on

I’m really angry how accurate this has been to my life.

And on the third day, God created Mountain Dew® Baja Blast™ and it was good. Too good… so God made it available only at Taco Bell.

Does anyone else get those random rushes of motivation like, “I’m gonna be so fucking successful dammit, watch me”

best 20 minutes of the year

I liked the part where the possums ate fruit

mlapmlapmlapmlapmlap

:V :| :V :| :V :P