Daydreaming in the Library

when u exit hyperfocus mode and ur immediately hit with every status effect ever

get vaccinated so we never have to see CNN talk about an omega variant

op here. i want a lobotomy

The extent to which people fail to understand mutation and evolution is just... Breathtaking.

honey. that's not the joke being made here.

Oh my god I completely missed that

it's okay. let's go get a lobotomy and some ice cream.

omg nooo i'm craving romance.. this is evil.

music hits different when you got someone in mind

Just because your house is haunted doesn't mean the ghosts are causing all the weird shit you're experiencing. Like, yes, be polite to the restless dead, but also check for carbon monoxide.

your carbon monoxide detector died and the ghosts are trying to warn you

haunted by the ghost of my carbon monoxide dectector

You gotta walk in rooms like God sent you

as a punishment.

to the people already there

A modern adaptation of Dracula where you keep seeing Jonathan Harker’s face on bus stop bench ads for his realtor office.

#“This client doesn’t seem to exist online; a bit strange. But he’s elderly so it’s not that unusual” -Jonathan about to make a mistake – @capslockdoesntexpressmyjoy