DAYC1

I already knew most of these. It’s like an actual career. Like for cereal? They sometimes just glue that shit down to make it pretty. Milk is usually paint to get that nice solid color and pouring swirl. The list goes on.

i sent the bee movie script over imessage to my friend who lives overseas but it didn’t send as an imessage and sent as 315 text messages instead and i’m gonna be charged for international texting for all of them

#karma is real and god always protects the good

I WAITED 10 SECONDS FOR THE GIF TO LOAD AND I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED

i sleep nude because if someone ever breaks into my house they gotta fight me while im naked and i dare you to try and swing on a nigga when his dick is out

You are grade A guarenteed to get yourself hurt with this mindset? You think I’m afraid to grab a dick and yank it, bruh? You think I won’t get my hands dirty on your dick in order to end you? You got the wrong one, man—and your ass better hope I don’t have a knife.

didn’t think it could get any better, yet here we are

AND NOW IVE THROWN HIM OFF HIS RHYTHM

I really try to challenge Canadian stereotypes at every opportunity but today I was walking down Young St. in Toronto and a firetruck honked very loudly and I clutched my chest and said “MY WORD” and as it drove past, a fireman leaned out of the window and apologized to me  so I just don’t know

Chaotic good.

I feel called out.

if you roll off the bottom of your bed at just the right angle you can clip through the floor straight into the shower saving precious time

this december, i will focus. this december, i will do better. this december, i will study harder. this december, i believe in myself.

Yooo, Throw the whole holiday away😂😭