Day6 Writings

“And that’s how you get the answer, it’s rather simple when you think about it and break it down.”

 Dowoon slumped back into the sofa; he crossed his arms over his chest looking rather happy with himself. The two of you had been at this maths tuition for hours, and while you were grateful for his help, it was becoming slightly tedious. You hated maths, always had done. Dowoon on the other hand was nothing less than a maths whiz, and had agreed to help you when the teacher had pulled you back after class one day and proposed the idea that Dowoon could help you. In all honesty, you are somewhat surprised that he’d agreed to this, what was in it for him? A better CV? You weren’t entirely sure, but you weren’t complaining either. He was a good teacher.

 “Speak for yourself, I don’t think I’ll be able to get the hang of this before the exam. Just too difficult, why are there so many ways of doing things, why couldn’t they just be one simple way?”

 Dowoon smirked, “if there was one simple way of doing it, then no one would ever be classed as smart. Not to mention if it was simple, I wouldn’t be here helping you… Wouldn’t that be a tragedy.”

 He seemed to be joking, but you couldn’t be entirely sure. He ran a hand through his hair, then lean forward once more to look at the work you produced. His eyes scanned over it, as though doublechecking that he hadn’t missed any mistakes. He seemed to be satisfied and nodded, “all fine, should we keep going?”

 You are quick to shake your head, you been going at it what felt like forever, your brain felt like mush. “I think that’s enough for now, perhaps we could try again another night.”

 Dowoon nodded, this also surprised you. You knew little about Dowoon, at school he was always reserved and quiet. It was a miracle he was a whiz at maths, because he spent the lessons of his head on the desk fast asleep, and when he wasn’t trying to block the world out during classes, he was being followed around by a flock of girls that didn’t seem to get the hint that he didn’t want them there.

 You’d never really noticed him until now, the two of you seem to be from different worlds that will start to crash into each other. He looked at him as he started to put books away into his bag, you could remain that way for a long time, the way he moved was gentle and tentative.

 He spent so much time looking at him that you barely noticed he’d finished putting stuff away in his bag, he looked at you, and seem to shy away somewhat. The way he looked so taken aback made you realise that you didn’t know him at all. Because of his ‘popularity’ you imagine that he’d always be rather cocky, or arrogant, or perhaps both. However, he didn’t seem like that at all, if anything, he came across as rather shy. He didn’t really have much to say, other than the reason he’d been here in the first place which was to teach you maths. He seemed to be rather comfortable teaching you maths, but now it was back to small talk, he seemed a little lost.

 “When do you want to pick this up again?” You asked him,

 “Whenever,” he said, scratching the back of his head, “I’ll be free whenever, I don’t have many commitments.”

 You nodded, “thanks for coming here to help me, you really don’t have to do that, especially as the teacher didn’t really give you much choice.” He laughed a little at this, but he did not, he did smile though, just a little bit.

 “It’s all right, I didn’t need much persuading.”

 He didn’t need much persuading, what did that mean? “Well, I hope I wasn’t too tedious to teach, I’m very well aware that my maths isn’t very good.”

 This time, he laughed. You watched him, smiling. He never seemed to smile much at school, in fact you wouldn’t be surprised if this was the first time that you’d ever seen him smile at all. You decided internally that he looked much better when he was smiling, it suited him. The way that his smile reached his eyes became so mesmerising that you start to get lost again.

 He looked at you, laugh fading. Then somehow, everything shifted. It has been over as soon as it started, however the flustered nature in your being did not go so quickly. He’d kissed you.

 Still close, he looked somewhat sheepish, “sorry, this wasn’t part of the bargain, was it?”

 You can do anything but shake your head, your cheeks were flaming with redness. This was not part of the bargain at all, but you weren’t that you wanted it to stop. You quickly regained the ability to speak and said quickly, “I don’t want you to stop.”

 And so, he didn’t, one kiss turned into two, and then three, and then you start to lose count…

Jae slumped into the sofa; he closed his eyes as though he might be able to block out the sound of your whining if he did so. This proved ineffective of course, and he groaned loudly as you requested a sandwich for the eighth time since he walked through the door not 10 minutes ago. He covered his face with a pillow, wanting to sleep, the last thing he needed was you won his case.

 “Get your own sandwich,” he responded gruffly, looking as though he was half considering throwing the pillow at you if it was enough to make you be quiet. He had enjoyed countless hours of Wonpil and Dowoon’s messing around, not to mention Sungjin’s relentless nagging, and Brian’s moodiness. None of them had been particularly in the mood that day, and all he wanted was a quiet evening. Something he was not going to get, that was apparent already.

 “I don’t want to get up,” he told him impatiently, “plus you make better ham sandwiches than I do, they always taste so much nicer.”

 “Don’t be stupid, sandwiches don’t taste any different, it doesn’t matter who makes them. I’m really not in the mood, I’ve had quite a day. Can you pass me the TV remote?”

 “No,” you told him stubbornly, “not until you make me a sandwich.”

 Jae groaned, he pulled the pillow off his face and launched it in your direction. It miss you by a narrow margin and hit the wall, then thudded to the floor. It had been a rather powerful through, you could tell that he was definitely not in the mood to entertain your whining. This didn’t stop you from continuing to moan however, he was stubborn, but you were relentless.

 “You can only suffer through my whining for so long until you get up and make me a sandwich,” he smirked, knowing full well that he would comply to your demands soon enough. You will often like this, only when you really wanted something. Usually, Jae was more than happy to comply, you are always doing him grand favours and so he only thought it fit to do the same for you. Today however, was a different story.

 “I swear to God, if you ask one more time, I’m going to lose my shit.”

 “Will you make me a sandwich, Jae?”

 Jae launched to his feet in a burst of anger, his face with riddled with fury. His lips came together into a thin line. “Fine!”

 Turning on his heel, he stormed out of the room. You were hot on his heels, jumping to your feet to follow him off into the kitchen. As soon as you came up behind him, he turned and pulled you into his arms forcefully. It was so forceful, in fact, that you came completely off your feet as he swung you around.

 “You! You!” He exclaimed, clearly at a loss for anything productive to say. This was a rare occurrence for Jae, who often had more to offer than was required in most situations. He finally put you down and wandered into the kitchen, grinning down at a large cake that you had made for him earlier that day beside a sandwich you’d made for him moments he had stepped through the door.

 “I love you, (y/n)” He said quietly, pressing a kiss against the side of your head.

 You laughed, “now go and sit down you grumpy shit, I’m going to cut you the biggest piece of cake you’ve ever had.”

 “So, the whole cake then?”

“It’s a Texas thing!” Brian persisted, waving his arms animatedly to show that he was being serious about this. You shook your head, this was difficult. Part of your project was to investigate different states of America and find out what they are most famous for. It seems like a good research idea at the start; however, this was proving to be rather difficult, considering both you and Brian didn’t seem to know much about life in the states.

 “What about the accident?” Brian suggested, “their accent is different to many other states.”

 That seemed to be the best idea that either of you had come up with for a while, you wrote it down, adding a side note that it may be interesting to look at the dialect and the local slang. You looked up again, “I’m struggling to think of anything else, the only thing I can really associate with Texas is Sheldon Cooper from the big bang theory, and that’s not really a research point, is it?”

 Brian laughed, “no, no it is not.”

Wonpil stepped into his room and his eyebrows instantly raised to the top of his head. You were laid across his bed, book spread around you like a disease taking over. Folders were left wide open with the raise of paper scattered along the duvet cover, some even stretching as far as the floor. He looked up at the sudden disturbance of the doorway and grinned when you saw your boyfriend looking at you disapprovingly.

 “Why are there books everywhere, where am I supposed to sit?” Wonpil enquired, folding his arms over his chest as he waited for an explanation. How had he managed to get so much paper all over the bed in the space of about 10 minutes? All he had done was go downstairs to a request couple of snacks and drinks that his mother would be bringing up any moment now.

 “I need the space,” you explained, “have you seen the amount of coursework that we need to complete?”

 “You can’t banish me explanation point this is my bed to! In fact, this is my room; this is my bed - you can’t just take it over with all your books. Where am I supposed to sit?”

 “All right, all right… It’s just, I don’t think your father would appreciate it if we were sharing the bed. He’s a little bit old-fashioned, did you see the way he looks me up when I came into the house with you?”

 Wonpil sighed, you had a point. He shook his head, “next time we need to do some work, will go to your house. Your parents don’t seem to care what we get up to.”

 You laughed at this, twisting his words into something that they didn’t really mean. Wonpil felt the ends of his ears turn read the words and their implied meaning, he shook his head again as he took what seemed to be the most comfortable bit floor. He was still blushing you chucked a pillow at him to sit on so he wouldn’t be entirely uncomfortable.

 The two of you managed to get a lot of work done that afternoon, it seemed that the lack of space created a higher efficiency in preparing work. Wonpil was sure that everything that needs to be done would be done early. As the workload got smaller, the piles of work on his bed lessened. The physical space became clearer, and finally, there was enough room for him to pitch next to you on the bed on his pillows. This was a relief; he was starting to get rather numb from sitting on the floor for so long.

 “This will be done before the evenings over,” you said confidently, putting it pile of A4 written sheets of paper inside the plastic wallet ready to go back into its folder.

 Wonpil nodded, he watched you as you danced your fingers around the binders and folders, organising the papers and setting everything into a place where it easily be found when sent in to be marked. He found himself watching you focus, the way that you poked your tongue out the side of your mouth was adorable.

 With that thought in mind, he found himself leaning in towards your lips. When he caught them, he smiled into the kiss, Finally, he thought, but that wasn’t something he could hold onto.

 There was noise from the door that sounded remarkably like someone clearing their throat. Wonpil leaped back, and so did you. Wonpil almost lost his balance but managed to redeem himself by grabbing onto the headboard before he could do himself any real damage. When he looked at the door, he met eyes with his Father.

 Wonpil saw you physically tense and offered his Father a sheepish smile.

 “Young love,” his father said, grinning uncharacteristically. “I like this one, Wonpil. Make sure you keep a happy.” He winked and then departed, clearly aware that he was overstaying his welcome.

 “Would you look at that,” you breathed as though you hadn’t done for a solid five minutes.

 Wonpil grinned, “I told you, you had nothing to worry about”

Consciousness washed over you in low tides. Exhaling deeply, the familiar surrounding of Brian’s room swirled into focus. You shifted, shuffling closer to the warmth that was your boyfriend. He seemed to be rousing too, because he started to shift, letting his hand lazily stoke your stomach as he pushed his face closer to your neck and nuzzled between groans.

 It was raining outside, it pattered against the windows and slid down the glass like ribbons. The curtains were ajar, leaving a small gap where the sun would be pouring in if the sky wasn’t filled with grey tones and mist.

 Remembering it was Sunday, you related into the mattress; today was one of Brian’s rare days off, which meant neither of you had any commitment to anything. No music video shoots, no recording sessions… nothing. Usually you’d hear the clattering of the other members crashing the kitchen to try and make coffee at this hour, but it seemed no one was particularly eager to be rising at this hour. For this you were thankful. The quietness eased you, you could almost go back to sleep if you wanted to.

 Brian seemed to have woken up a little more now, because his lips were forming small butterfly kisses against the crook of your neck. You smiled, leaning into it. He muttered a very groggy, “morning,” into your soft skin between his fluttery trail.

 If the kisses weren’t enough to make your head spin, then his morning voice definitely was. It was always moments like these that you wish would never finish, responsibility always seemed much less appealing when compared to moments like these.

 “Good morning,” you respond tiredly, although the tiredness was soon draining away stop you found yourself becoming more awake with every kiss, touch and grunt. His leg slid over yours, and his lips started to trace your jawline before mapping out your lips.

 He didn’t remain on your lips for a long time. A mere few seconds before he started his way back down your neck and placing special attention to your collar bones, which were the last amount of available skin before the shirt covered the rest.

 “Where are you going?” you asked him, trying to refrain the sudden want from your voice.

 “Where am I going?” He smirked, voice deep in a way he knew you liked it, “crazy. Wanna come?”

Brian wasn’t sure what it was that attracted him so much to you. It was strange really, the two of you had been friends for years and years, and only now had this change occurred to him. It was something in the way that you walked that made his legs shake, and something in the way that you laughed that made as heart feel weak. In this moment however, all these feelings were exemplified. You through the dressing room curtain aside and stunned him to silence. All he could do was admire the way that you looked in the slim fit outfit, looking as though you could make people feint with a simple wink.

 “That looks great,” says Jae, clapping his hands together in approval.

 You grinned at him and spun on your heels to show the entire outfit. It did truly look incredible, even though anything that you wore look incredible, Brian thought.

 “What do you think Brian?” You asked, eyes widening as she waited for approval from her best friend.

 “Yeah, yeah… It looks great, it looks… Amazing” the astonishment that he felt clearly showed on his face, because you seem satisfied and grinned. You nodded, then drew the curtain back and disappeared behind it.

“please put your penis away and start thinking with your brain,” Jae chuckled, “you’ve almost got (y/n) I think you’re fit written on your forehead.”

What does it mean to argue with someone? You’d never really considered such a thing until this time. It’s not like you and Dowoon ever argue, in fact, it’s a rare occurrence. Because even when Dowoon is mad, he’ll bring you your breakfast in bed, and leave you notes around the house, and leaves the last piece of cake for you. Sometimes he does all of those things because he’s mad. Though arguing? That’s never really been a thing.

Until now.

It still makes you cringe, imagining the look of anger on his face. It wasn’t so bad, the shouting, or the words, but the eyes, and the emotion, it stung like a knife through the heart.

He’s gone now, and the house is empty. He’d left for Busan about an hour ago, blanched and expressionless. There wasn’t a goodbye, or even a kiss on the cheek. Nothing.

It still fucking stings.

What had you even been arguing about? You tried to trace it all back to the beginning. There was something about Dowoon being jealous, and you not being able to go to Busan with him over Christmas to see his family because of work. Jae was mentioned in the mix of all that somewhere.

“I’m not jealous of Jae, {y/n}! I just want you to pick me for once in your life! It’s always about him and this youtube stuff! I know you work hard on these videos with him, but is it really so important that you have to miss Christmas? With me?!” Dowoon had raised his voice. He looked a mess, his hair was crazy from running his hands through it too much.

“I’m not missing Christmas, Dowoon! Christmas still happens here in Seoul! It’s not Busan exclusive!”

“You don’t get it, do you?” He looked like he was either going to scream or cry. “You just don’t fucking get it.”

Dowoon never swore, not in front of you, not ever. It was as impactful as a slap in the face. You shook your head. “No, no. I don’t get it, so explain it to me!”

He shook his head, then turned, and left.

He left for Busan without you.

You rubbed your eyes, you felt pathetic. You were curled on the sofa in a pair of old leggings and Dowoon’s yellow hoodie. It was too big for you, but you liked that, the way it held you whenever Dowoon couldn’t (or wouldn’t, in this case, perhaps.)

The familiar sound of your mobile sounded, and you scrambled for it, heart sinking when the caller ID showed Jae. It was the last thing you needed at this moment in time, but you still found yourself accepting the call and letting the phone balance between your ear and your shoulder.

“Jae. What’s up?”

“When do you want to come over and decorate the house with me? We need to have a nice backdrop for our next sketch idea. Oh! Do you think you could help me set up something for the boyfriend tag I’m planning on doing with Wonpil too? I want to write a song to let the viewers know I’m seeing someone. I thought it was creative but Wonpil thinks it’s too much. Is it too much, {y/n}?”

“It’s great.” You gave a standard, monotone response.

“You sound so enthusiastic.” Jae scoffed, “Come on {y/n} where’s your Christmas spirit? Anyway, I was thinking, we should-”

He kept talking, lapping ideas for Christmas decoration and back drops and singing Christmas carols, but all you kept thinking of was Dowoon. You imagined decorating the Christmas tree with him, singing carols and messing around in red Santa hats and polaroid photographs.

Then the penny dropped.

This was it, wasn’t it?

Is it really so important that you have to miss Christmas? With me?!

It all made sense. You’d met Dowoon years ago on Christmas eve, the Christmas after he’d kissed you under the mistletoe, and that was it. It was like a promise that each Christmas would be for the two of you, to celebrate each other and not just the holiday.

You lept to your feet, the phone almost dropped as you grabbed a pair of shoes.

“-{y/n} are you even listening to me? What are you doing?”

“I need to leave Jae. I need to go.” You tell him in a rushed tone.

“Go where?”

“Where am I going? Crazy. Wanna come?”

“No thanks.” Jae sniggers. “Now seriously, about the song-”

“Tell Wonpil that a little bit of excitement won’t hurt anyone. Your song idea sounds great. Now, if you don’t mind, I have a train to catch.” You’re breathless from grabbing things and the adrenaline wasn’t letting up anytime soon. You had to go.

“Okay crazy, I’ll call you tomorrow alright. Send Dowoon my love.”

“That’s if he’ll take mine first.” You mumbled.

“What was that?”

“Nothing! See you soon!”

The air was cold, it nipped against you in icy touches but it wasn’t enough to stop you from paying the taxi driver you’d flagged on the main street. You rushed inside the train station, you couldn’t stop your legs from racing the same way you couldn’t stop your racing heart.

“I need the next train to Busan.” You spoke incredibly fast, and it was a wonder that the man behind the desk had understood your mass of words.

“Next train to Busan will be in ten minutes. You’re in luck, it’s the last train, and the only reason it’s coming now is because it was delayed an hour ago.”

You nodded, smiling, but barely listening. You bounced on the balls of your feet until he gave you your ticket. You called a thank you, and a good bye as you raced down to the platform.

It felt colder now, somehow. You held the yellow hoodie closer to you, your pace slowing now you were securely on the platform. All you needed now was the train, and an apology and-

“{y/n}...”

You looked up, Dowoon stood before you, he looked tired, mildly pissed off. “What are you doing?”

“Dowoon you’re right. I’m sorry. If it’s not too late… I uh, I bought a train ticket. Why are you still here? Didn’t you catch an earlier train?”

Dowoon smiled, “It got delayed, but I guess that isn’t a bad thing now you’re here.”

You shuffled closer, wrapped your arms around him and shivered. “I’m sorry. I love you.”