“Oh, you need a drink”

“No, I have my water”

He stops and turns back to you, a shy smile stuck on his face. This isn’t the first time, or the second time he’s been here, but it’s never for very long, and never overnight. And he doesn’t have to take time away from his own busy schedule for you, ever—you’ve told him that countless times. But now it’s late and Seungmin is still at your apartment, comfortable in his shorts and sweatshirt and his warm socks. You don’t think you’ve ever been more attracted to him than you are right now.

“I’ll be right back”

He spins and heads back to the kitchen, and you listen carefully to try to figure out what he’s doing. The faucet, the cabinet doors opening and closing, and the clink of cups, or mugs…he must be making tea. Eventually, the scent drifts into the bedroom—spicy and sweet. Seungmin returns with a mug in each hand, and he’s taking his time, being as careful as possible as he sets them on the bedside table.

“I’m not sure if it really works, but I saw it when I stopped at the store on the way here. If it just tastes good, I guess that’s okay, too.”

The pounding in your head becomes unbearable, and you have to squeeze your eyes shut. “What is it?” You whisper, trying not to sound too irritable.

“How bad is the pain…one to ten?” Seungmin carefully sits on the edge of the bed, your mug of tea in his cupped hands.

It does smell nice. “Uh…a seven, maybe.”

“It’s supposed to help with headaches”

“Oh, you’re so sweet. Come over here”

“Yeah?” You nod again, and he nods back. “Okay.”

This is also brand new, sharing a bed. It’s a shame the first time has to be under these circumstances, but you’ll take him any way you can get him. The original plan was to have dinner, but after a few subtle hints, you managed to turn it into a late dinner and a sleepover. The migraine ruined it, but Seungmin still insisted on coming over, even if all you did was stay in bed and put up with him.

“It’s okay if you don’t like it. It’s very gingery.”

“It smells good.” You take a sip, and it’s not too hot, so you take a bigger one. “Thank you.”

Seungmin keeps a careful distance on top of the blankets—too much distance, but he’s going to treat you like this migraine could break you at any moment. You have to look at him through squinted eyes, try to smile and let him know you’ll be okay if he gets closer. You’ll be okay if he touches you.

“The lights...I forgot to turn the lights down.” He’s up and headed for the kitchen again. The light clicks off. Back in the bedroom, he flicks the light switch on the wall, so now the only glow is from the hallway light spilling in through the cracked door. “That’s better.”

“Much better. Six.”

Back on the bed, same distance. He nervously rubs his thighs, and his knees.

“You look cute in your pjs. Is this what you usually wear to bed?”

The pink on his cheeks rises slowly, and ends at the tips of his ears. You don’t think it was that odd of a question, but Seungmin is clearly a little flustered. Hopefully it wasn’t too much.

“I’m sorry, too personal?” You laugh. It’s not—you know he isn’t that sensitive, but he ended up being much more shy than you expected.

Idol Seungmin is a different person. Seungmin with his fellow members is also a different person. Your version of him, at least so far, is quiet, a little unsure, and not always confident in his actions.

“No, it’s not,” he smiles. “I don’t wear this much to bed, usually, but that didn’t seem appropriate tonight.”

“Well, if you get warm…”

“I’ll take off my socks.” He wiggles his toes and moves himself closer.

It hurts your head, but you let yourself laugh. Seungmin is funny, and he knows it. You’ll indulge him every time. “Is that a promise?”

This is different. It’s not the same as your closeness on the couch, or in the back of the car—this is your bed, and it doesn’t get more cozy and intimate than this. When you let your pounding head rest on his shoulder, his cheek lands on you. Something finally gives, and he seems to relax. You’re not sure what you did, but he shifts again, and you feel his soft lips press against your forehead. “Four.”

“If I could kiss away the pain, I would,” he says under his breath.

“Can you try?”

Whether he’s ready or not, you wrap your arms around him and bring him closer. But he does the same. Seungmin squeezes, but not too tightly, and places another kiss on your forehead, on your temple, and down your cheek. Wherever he can reach.

“I think it’s working”

Seungmin keeps going, “it’s a good thing I came over,” and finally makes it to your lips. He kisses very cautiously, and not nearly long enough when he pulls away to look at you.

“What is it?”

“Nothing, just checking”

“I’m good…three and a half.” The strong fingers kneading into the back of your neck is the same move from his last visit. “That feels nice.” Hopefully, his next move is also the same as before.

“Does it? It’s not too much?”

You shake your head and close your eyes, and his lips press against yours again. This time he stays. His tongue slides across your mouth to gain access, and you let him in.