ours is a world of miracles

really totally not significant at all that caul's most comforting memory - the sole tether that anchors her against euthanising herself permanently - is of a woman who sang her songs of "the better body that is yet to come". for a child with a disabling congenital birth defect, that would have been a formative lifeline. and the worst thing is, it's actually a pretty radical sentiment in a world where the ideologies governing it are based on the idea that "everything yearns to be what it once was". it just so happens to undermine its own intent to encourage progress by inflaming ableist sentiment through implication. so now that child carries that woman's severed head around like a security blanket against the horrors of living, and regularly kills herself to escape the indignities and limitations of her body. the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

basically the best thing any character can do is decide they don't want to be afraid anymore - in fact they never want to be afraid of anything ever again - and take action so drastic they fail to realise that this too is a decision motivated by fear. or to account for the Consequences of that.

[with obvious perverted intent] hey. don't you want to release the safety catches on that character. don't you want to flip off all the switches holding them back and let the control rods go.

caul serrikane the character ever. rolls up to a gangster and is like. fuck your pronoun circle, my gender is I Just Wanna Get Paid. I'm gonna kill myself for money, resurrect me in an hour. every day I dream of murdering my dad. btw here's a severed head I carry around in my designer bag, she sings me to sleep. I'll tell your dead employee that you said hi. *drinks poison and dies horribly*

nonbinary jeff bezos hires a necromancer to cross the border between life and death to chase up an employee who killed himself without clocking out first. podcast of the year.