pretty girl

narrator who's terrible at social cues & describes every facial expression as "unreadable"

"The frown was completely unreadable. Thankfully, the loaded and raised gun offered a clue."

hobbies include sitting on my bedroom floor being absolutely devastated by the fact that i have a physical form

i always click the "track package" button as soon as i get the email. "oh boy i wonder where my package is!" warehouse.

hi margaret, i hope this email blows your tits clean off

you go to her #me tag and it’s just all these pictures of evil fish

god i'm so tired of everybody's bad faith interpretations of everything. where's the trust. where's the forgiveness. where's the understanding that most things are complex and most people have many layers. and like the black eyed peas once said. where is the love

Chinese food is called takeout because it makes you want to take out your cock

why does “old man yaoi” sound like fujoshi santa claus

if you conflate topping with domming old man yaoi is bringing you coal