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@dawnslibraryoffics
I wish I could be normal about affection but my love language is merging souls.

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Today and Every Day
Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader
Summary: A glimpse into your life with the one and only Jake "Hangman" Seresin starting from your first date and ending with a twist. A fic inspired by the song "Marry Me" by train.
Content Warning: First dates, Proposal, Marriage, Pregnancy, Allusions to smut, Making out, Old Age, Nerves, Tooth rotting fluff, Romance. I think that's everything.
Word Count: 4k
A/N: This fic was written as a part of @ohtobeleah's Galentine's Day Special! I had so much fun writing it, and I hope you all have just as much fun reading it!! As always, reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated! Until next time!
Jake was nervous. No. He was terrified, actually. He had never been this scared to go on a date before, but here he was, leg bouncing up and down in the driverâs seat as he waited outside of the restaurant he agreed to meet you at. He had met you at the cafe just last week, and already he was smitten. You had been sitting there, typing away on your laptop when he had spotted you as he walked in with Javy and Phoenix. It had taken an incredible amount of self will and determination to finally get up and go talk to you, but he was glad he had because now he was getting ready to go on your first date.
He really, really hoped he didnât screw it up.
Taking a deep breath, he shoved the door of his truck open, stepping out and into the parking lot. He was a little early, but better that than being late, he supposed. He crossed the street, heart stopping and breath catching in his throat when he spotted you through the window. You were standing in a pretty, blue dress looking around the lobby nervously as you glanced down at your phone, bottom lip caught between your teeth.
Shaking himself from his stupor, he pulled the door open and stepped inside. You glanced up from your phone at the noise, giving him a soft smile that left him breathless all over again.
âHey,â you greeted quietly, sliding your phone into your purse as you turned to face him. A shy smile curled on his lips as he took you in, a characteristic that felt so foreign to him. Jake was usually a man of confidence, but there was something about you that seemed send him into a tizzy with one look.
âHey,â he responded. âWere you waiting long?â
âNot at all,â you assured him, smoothing down the skirt of your dress, an action that Jake found absolutely endearing. He tore his eyes away from you as the hostess came back to the stand, flashing a polite smile at the two of you.
âAre you ready?â He asked, gesturing towards the other woman. You turned around, eyes widening in surprise before flashing him a quick smile and a nod.
The hostess seated the two of you quickly, and your waiter had stopped by shortly after to take your drink order. The two of you sat in a moment of silence, and Jake noted that it wasnât altogether an uncomfortable one, but rather tense and nervous.
âYou know,â he spoke after another moment, causing your eyes to flicker up to meet his, âI was actually really nervous for today.â
That seemed to shock you, and you let out a startled giggle before smiling up at him.
âReally?â
He nodded.
âI was too, actually,â you admitted, glancing up at him shyly through your lashes. Jake tried not to think too much about how he wanted to reach out and lay kisses on the spots where your lashes brushed against your cheeks. Instead, he cleared his throat, and leaned forward to flash you a charming smile.
âSo, letâs get to know each other,â he suggested, a wicked twinkle in his eyes. âIf you could attend any concert from any time period, who would it be?â
Jake hadnât been this nervous in two years. Of course, the last time he had felt like this was on your first date, and now here he was, about to get down on one knee and ask you to be his wife. Truthfully, he had gone ring shopping the day after your first date. He had known from the moment he first laid eyes on you that you were it for him, and the date had just confirmed it.
The two of you had eaten and passed the time in giggles and more ridiculous questions, a conversation that soon became more in depth and personal, and Jake found that the longer he spent with you, the more he didnât want the night to end.
So, at the end of the meal, he had asked you if you wanted to go for a walk along the beach, and you had happily agreed.
That was two years ago, and now the two of you walked along the same beach, hand in hand as Jake ran his other one nervously through his hair. You peered at him from the corner of your eye, brow furrowing and causing that cute little crease that Jake loved to kiss away.
âAre you feeling okay?â You asked him finally, stopping and turning to face him with a worried expression. You reached up to feel his forehead, humming as you dropped your hand.
âYou donât feel warm,â you muttered, tilting your head in confusion, the little crease deepening as you try to determine what on earth could possibly be wrong with your boyfriend. Jake let out a nervous chuckle, squeezing your hand in reassurance as he takes a steadying breath.
âIâm fine, darlinâ,â he told you, but you didnât seem convinced, eyes still sweeping over him to try and find something wrong with him. ââm just nervous is all.â
âNervous?â You questioned, shaking your head slightly. âWhat on earth for?â
Jake took another deep breath before dropping down onto one knee, smiling at the way your face morphs from confused concern into tearful surprise.
âDarlinâ,â he began, pulling the tiny, black box out of his pocket and popping it open to reveal a stunning diamond ring, âthe day we met in that little cafe was the beginning of something extraordinary. The past two years have been filled with laughter, tears, the occasional fight, and so much love. I wouldnât trade any of it for anything in the world, do you hear me? The best day of my life was when you agreed to make it official and be my girlfriend, but Iâm hoping youâll top it here by agreeing to be my wife. Will you marry me?â
Tears streamed down your face as you covered your mouth to keep the sobs from spilling out. You began to nod frantically, wiping the tears away as you sobbed out a laugh, the pretty smile he loved oh so much coming into view.
âJacob Seresin, of course Iâll marry you,â you laughed, reaching out for him to pull him into a soul-crushing kiss. Jake smiled against your lips as he moved to stand, hauling you into his arms as he rocked the two of you from side to side. Pulling away only when the two of you needed air, he slipped the ring onto your finger, stroking the soft skin as he continued to grin.
âI love you,â he said, looking up at you finally. You squeezed his hand, smiling up at him gently as you placed another kiss to his lips.
âI love you too.â
âJake, you could power a whole city with how much youâre moving,â Javy griped, placing a reassuring hand on Jakeâs shoulder. âCalm down, man.â
âSorry,â Jake grimaced, glancing down the aisle towards the doors leading into the sanctuary of the church. The pews were filled with friends and family from both sides, eagerly awaiting the start of the ceremony.
âIâm just nervous,â he grumbled, eyes still trained on the doors where you would appear any moment.
âBut why?â Javy frowned, following his best friendâs line of sight. Jake didnât answer for a moment, chewing on his bottom lip as his foot tapped against the marble floor and his hands clenched and unclenched at his sides.
âJake?â
âWhat if she changes her mind?â Jake blurted out, eyes finally looking at Javy with panic lacing through the green. âWhat if she realizes that Iâm not good enough for her? That Iâm the worst choice she could possibly make?â
Javy stared at him for a moment before ducking his head down. For a moment, Jake was horrified that his best friend realized that he was right and didnât know how to tell him, but then he realized that Javyâs shoulders were shaking, and the fear was replaced with indignant confusion as Javy reached out a hand to Jakeâs shoulders in order to steady himself. Javy stood back up, wiping a stray tear as he almost broke out into another round of laughter.
âYou really are an idiot sometimes, man. You know that?â Javy wheezed, patting Jake on the back. âThat girl is so in love with you, itâs not funny. Besides, she could definitely do worse than you.â
âLike who?â Jake mumbled, glaring at the other man. Javyâs grin was wide as he answered.
âLike Bradshaw.â
Jake laughed at that, the nerves easing out of him slowly as he nodded.
âYeah, I guess youâre right,â he conceded, head snapping back to the doors as the music picked up. One by one, your bridesmaids came walking down the aisle, and Jakeâs heart sped up as the last girl made her way down the aisle. The quintessential theme began to play as everyone stood up, and Jake felt the tears spring to his eyes as you finally came into view.
You were beautiful, dressed in your white gown. Jake always thought you looked beautiful, of course, but knowing that you were currently walking down the aisle to become his wife?
He wiped at his eyes, and he heard Javy let out a low chuckle behind him.
âYou got this,â he whispered, and Jake let out a low laugh. Yeah, he did have this, and he never wanted to let this go. Your eyes were trained on him the entire walk down the aisle, a smile plastered on your face and Jake swore he could die happy right then and there.
You stopped in front of him, and Jake was only vaguely aware of the ceremony going on around him. Of course he spoke when he was supposed to, but other than that, his focus was locked on you, and it seemed you were in the same boat.
The second Jake heard the priest say âyou may kiss the bride,â he was on you, hands cradling your jaw as he kissed you breathless, dipping you slightly as one hand came down to rest on your waist. You kissed him back, excited giggles escaping past your lips as the two of you got lost in the moment. Finally, Jake pulled away, green eyes sparkling as his thumb caressed the apple of your cheek.
âMr. Seresin,â you purred, looking up at him through your lashes, not unlike the way you did on your first date.
âMrs. Seresin,â he beamed, leaning in for another kiss.
âHoney, youâre making me nervous,â Jake chuckled, watching you bounce around the house, your nervous energy positively infectious. You glanced at him before quickly looking away, fighting back a smile as you scurried about with the laundry on your hip. You had never been good at keeping secrets from him, but he always thought it was cute how you tried.
âThereâs nothing to be nervous about,â you assured him, placing the basket on the coffee table and picking up one of the many articles of clothing bunched together.
âIâm sure there isnât, sugar,â Jake continued, picking up a t-shirt to help you fold. âBut when youâve been scurrying about the house for two days with that secretive little smirk of yours, it gets a manâs heart pumpinâ and mind racinâ.â
You paused in your folding, watching him for a moment before snorting and continuing your task.
âI think youâre being a tad paranoid, babe,â you teased, setting down the t-shirt you had just finished folding. Jake moved to grab another t-shirt, opening his mouth to say something when he stopped. His brow furrowed in confusion as he lifted up a plain, white onesie.
âIs this Michelleâs?â He asked, giving you a questioning look. It wasnât unusual for you to wash the clothes of your friendsâ kids, but last he checked none of them had babies this small. Michelle had had a baby about half a year ago, but the bright, new bundle was already well past the size of the onesie he currently held in his hands. You smirked at him, continuing to fold the laundry.
âYou know Michael is too big for that.â
âThen which of your friends has a baby that I donât know about?â
âYou know about all of my friendsâ babies, Jake.â
âIs one of your friends expecting again?â
âNot one of my friends, no,â you grinned, waiting for him to catch on. He stared at you for a second, studying you like you would give him the answer. It wasnât until you gently cupped your own stomach that his eyes went wide and tears kissed his lash line.
âHoney, are you serious?â He asked, voice barely above a whisper. You bit at your bottom lip in excitement, a grin breaking out across your face.
âSweetheart, please tell me youâre serious,â he begged, a smile tugging at the corner of his own lips, a shout escaping from him as you nodded in excitement. He tossed the onesie to the side, crossing the distance between you two to scoop you into his arms. He peppered kisses across your face, giggles breaking out between the two of you.
âYou have no idea how happy I am right now, darlinâ,â he beamed, cradling your face in his hands. âIâm gonna take such good care of the both of you, I promise.â
He placed another kiss to your lips before dropping to his knees in front of you, gently splaying his hands across your belly.
âAnd you, little one?â He whispered almost reverently. âIâm gonna be the best daddy to you. Make no mistake about it. Youâre not even here yet and youâve already got me wrapped around your little finger. Iâm not gonna let anything bad happen to you ever, you hear me?â
He placed a kiss to your stomach, peering up at you as he rested his cheek against you, thumb stroking over your shirt.
âYouâve given me the best gift I could have ever asked for,â he murmured, heart so full as he stared up at you.
âItâs too quiet in here,â Jake muttered, leaning back in his recliner. You walked into the living room, handing him a beer with a knowing smile on your face. Jake frowned as you moved to sit on the couch, grabbing your hand and pulling you onto his lap with a grunt as you giggled.
âThatâll happen when your kids move out,â you reminded him with a smile. Your youngest had officially moved off to college a few days prior, and it came as no surprise to you that Jake was not handling the change very well.
Your home had been filled with the constant laughter and chatter of three, beautiful kids for twenty-three years now, and while you were sad to see your kids leave, you were happy to see them grow into the adults they had become. Jake, on the other hand, missed his children terribly.
âThey should visit more,â he griped, resting his hand on your thigh, stroking his thumb up and down as you settled into him.
âJake, they visit almost every week,â you snorted, resting a hand on his chest with a shake of your head. He gave you a look before taking a sip of his beer.
âAnd itâs not enough,â he retorted with a scowl. You rolled your eyes with a scoff before a smirk overtook your features. You leaned into him, wrapping your arms around his neck as you began to place lingering kisses across his jaw.
âYouâre telling me,â you hummed, lips ghosting over the shell of his ear, smirk deepening as he shivered, âthat you canât think of any reason as to why having our kids out of the house might be beneficial to the two of us.â
Jake arched a brow at you, turning to look you over as a matching smirk pulled on his lips.
âDunno, darlinâ,â he murmured, maneuvering you so that you straddled him, âmight need some convincinâ that itâs a good thing.â
âWell, I can be very persuasive,â you purred, lips moving down to place hot, open-mouthed kisses along the length of his neck. Jake let out a low groan as you found the spot you knew drove him wild, nipping at the skin before laving your tongue over the same spot.
âOh, Iâm well aware, sugar,â he grunted, hands encouraging your hips to roll against his as he threw his head back in a moan. âYou managed to get three kids out of me. Despite my protests, might I add. Practically cornered me until I gave you what you wanted.â
You pulled away with a mock glare, Jake whining at the loss of attention.
âI most certainly did not,â you scowled with a raise of an eyebrow. Jake tried to move your hips once more, but you remained unmoved as you glared at him. âIn fact, I distinctly remember you begging me for each one of them.â
âAgree to disagree,â he muttered, leaning up to press his lips against yours. You moved to pull back and argue, but Jake held you firmly against him as you giggled into his mouth. His tongue stroked against your own, and your fingers found purchase in his graying locks. You ground down against him, Jake rewarding you with a delicious moan.
âWhat was that about convincing me that an empty nest is a good thing?â Jake panted, pulling back to look at you. Another grin spread across your face as you moved to stand. Jake stopped you and you looked at him in confusion as he smirked.
âWhere do you think youâre goinâ?â He asked, running his hands up and down the backs of your thighs before gripping your ass with a hearty squeeze.
âThe bedroom?â You supplied, amusement clear on your face.
âThought part of the fun of being an empty nester was that we could do it wherever we wanted?â
You snorted. âThe kids still have keys, Jake, and Iâd rather not have our kids walk in unexpectedly on us âdoing itâ as you so eloquently put it.â
Jakeâs eyes widened in shock before nodding firmly. Giving your ass a quick swat, he helped you up off his lap before standing, tugging you quickly towards the bedroom.
âIâm confiscating those damn keys the next time theyâre over, sugar,â he warned, grinning as you burst into a fit of giggles.
Jake watched from the porch as his grandkids ran around the expansive yard, screaming and giggling in delight as they chased each other. He still remembered the days when his own kids, their parents, would run around and cause mayhem around the house. He chuckled as the youngest, Ryan, toddled after his older cousins, a toothy grin on the toddlerâs face.
His children and their spouses all sat by the fire pit, talking and laughing about something or other, just content to be all together once more, and Jake felt a surge of love at seeing his family together again after so long.
âWhat are you smiling about over here, honey?â
He turned to see you walking over towards him, a cup of tea in hand as you offered him a loving smile. Your hair had long since grayed, now a stunning silver that reminded him of starlight. The wrinkles around your eyes creased as you looked at him, and though he knew you were self conscious about them, prodding at them with your fingers and a scowl every morning, he made no secret of how much he loved them.
âEvidence of the years spent together,â heâd tell you before kissing each one.
Now he held his arm out for you to sidle up against him, aged hands resting on his back as he let out a contented sigh.
âYou remember when our kids would run around out here?â He asked you, his own hand smoothing up and down the length of your back as he peered down at you. You turned your gaze to the yard, your eyes holding ardent adoration as you looked at your many grandchildren.
âOh I remember,â you chuckled, resting your head against his shoulder as you took a sip of your tea. âYouâd come in with mud on your shoes and Iâd just about kill the lot of you.â
âYou loved it,â he snickered, kissing the top of your head as you sighed, looking back up at him.
âI did,â you admitted. âI do miss it sometimes. And, while I love these critters we call grandkids, Iâm always happy to ship them back home to their parents.â
Jake laughed at that, his own wrinkles creasing at the sides of his eyes as he squeezed you tighter. The two of you stood in contented silence as you watched the kids wear themselves out. Sarah, your middle childâs youngest, came running up to you with an excited gleam in her green eyes, words coming out in pants as she fought to catch her breath.
âGramma, can we go look at the photos again?â She asked, clutching at your sweater and bouncing on the tips of her toes. You chuckled, smoothing a weathered hand over her blonde hair.
âOf course we can, my darling,â you cooed, motioning for her to lead the way. You turned back to give Jake a kiss, patting his cheek lovingly before following after the little girl. Jake watched you go, hoping the two of you had many more days like this to come.
âAre you going to go talk to her, or are you just going to keep staring like a creep?â
Jake startled from his daydream, green eyes wide as Phoenix gave him a knowing look. Javy slid into the seat next to him, nudging his shoulder as he took a sip from his to go cup.
âSheâs right,â he said, gesturing over to where you sat two tables down, typing away contently at your laptop. âYou look like a creep just staring at her like that. What are you doing? Thinking about your whole future together?â
Jake scowled at his best friend, shooting another glare at Phoenix for good measure.
âDonât you two have something better to talk about?â He groused. Phoenix tapped her chin, pretending to think.
âNope,â she said finally, popping her lips together as she gave him a grin. âWhy donât you go and introduce yourself?â
âI dunno,â Jake muttered, giving you another glance, his heart stuttering nervously as he took you in once more.
âSince when have you ever been the type to be nervous about talking to a girl?â Phoenix snorted, raising an eyebrow at Javy who just shrugged in return.
ââm not nervous,â he muttered, fidgeting with his fingers as he glanced back at you once more. âJust donât want to bother her is all.â
âOh well,â Javy began, pushing his seat back and moving to stand, âif youâre not interested, then I guess Iâll-â
âDonât you dare,â Jake snapped, grabbing his best friendâs wrist and standing. Javy gave him a triumphant smirk as Jake sighed, clearly bested. He pursed his lips, sparing his friends another glare before gathering up all of his courage and walking over to where you sat.
âExcuse me,â he said, causing you to jump, eyes wide as you gazed up at him. Jake swore his heart stopped then and there. He flashed you a charming smile, one you happily returned as he gestured to the seat next to you. âIs this seat taken?â
âNot at all,â you smiled, gesturing for him to sit. He did so, leaning forward on the table as he looked at you, nerves still fluttering in his stomach as he got a better look at you. You looked at him curiously as he continued to stare, raising an eyebrow at him. He cleared his throat with a sheepish smile, stretching out his hand for you to shake.
âHi,â he said, noting how soft your hand felt in his as he gave it a squeeze. âIâm Jake.â
A/N: Aaaahh!! So what did you guys think?? Don't forget to follow my sideblog - @arcanevagabond-library and turn on post notifications if you'd like to be notified of when I post! As always, reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated! You can also find me on AO3 under the username arcane_vagabond. Until next time!
so sweet đ¤đ¤
VIBE CHECK
18+ | MDNI
PAIRING: best friend!bucky barnes x female!reader SUMMARY: your best friend has been in love with you since you were kids. he makes sure you don't skip meals, shows up at your dorm during late-night study sessions, scowls at campus idiots trying to get your attention... and apparently now he even offers to fuck you to give your brain a break. WARNINGS: she/her pronouns for reader; set in college; best friends to lovers; best friend!bucky; whipped!bucky; protective!bucky; reader has hair; size difference (I just love beefy men so much â¤ď¸âđŠš); light angst; unrequited love (according to bucky); mutual pining; jealousy & slight possessiveness; swearing; fluff; he uses A LOT of pet names & basically behaves like a boyfriend?; smut; (soft)dom!bucky & sub!reader; praise kink; sex toys; kind of guided masturbation; slight degradation; brief use of pussy pronouns; crying (bc reader feels too good đ ); pussy slapping; orgasm delay/control; edging; spitting; oral (f receiving); fingering; nipple play; unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it pls); multiple orgasms; overstimulation; messy & rough sex; squirting; creampie. WORD COUNT: 14k A/N: this one-shot is extremely self-indulgent, sorry 𼲠I'm so happy it's finally up again, it's just so important to me. I think this is porn without plot? well, thereâs a bit of plot I guess, lmao. the smut part might be a little all over the place because l wrote it while studying for an exam and getting ready for a little trip. hope youâll enjoy đ ps: I apologize to all the interstellar fans for eventual mistakes, I've never seen it but I needed something to match bucky's love for physics and space.
Bucky is halfway through a problem set in the library, equations spread out in messy sheets all over the desk and coffee going cold at his elbow, when he checks the time on his phone and feels that familiar tug in his chest. Heâs not even close to being tired, could easily grind through another two chapters, but his focus has thinned to a thread. So he closes his notebook a little too decisively and mutters something about calling it a night, about being exhausted.Â
Steve looks up slowly, deeply unimpressed. His eyes are screaming do you think I was born yesterday? but Bucky refuses to meet them. He shrugs, trying to appear casual, and shoves his laptop into his backpack like heâs annoyed at the implication.
Steveâs mouth twitches knowingly. His friendâs body has been betraying him for a while: knee bouncing incessantly, jaw tight, eyes landing back to his phone every few minutes.
Bucky has been pulling this move for years and usually Steve would drag it out by raising a brow, asking if he should send flowers already. Sometimes heâd start humming a wedding march under his breath until Buckyâs ears burn red and he threatens to blacklist him from future study sessions. But tonight, his friend just watches him for a second longer than necessary, taking in the barely concealed anticipation in the way Bucky adjusts his puffer jacket, then checks his phone twice in the span of two minutes, clearly hoping for a text.
Steve just nods once and Bucky perceives the mercy like a gift.
The walk back to the dorm is automatic at this point; his feet know the path too well, from the shortcut through the nearby parkâtechnically closed at night but still accessible thanks to the worn patch in the bushesâto the way the lights flicker near the humanities building every fifteen seconds. And the exact amount of steps it takes to reach your floor.Â
The rhythm of his footsteps carries just enough weight that they draw a satisfying echo from the tile. Although Bucky thought about surprising you after not seeing each other for almost a week, he wants you to notice the noise. You hate unexpected knocks, always have. He remembers you mentioning it to him once, shrugging like it was no big deal, but he is too observant when it comes to you. Something simple like a knock rattling the silence never fails to make your shoulders tense up and your heartbeat accelerate, eyes widening just slightly. Thatâs why he ensures each footfall is deliberate, loud enough for you to acknowledge a presence in the hallway but soft enough not to hurl your brain into panic.
When he finally reaches your door, Bucky lets his hand linger on the frame. He knows youâre inside from the quiet tapping of a keyboard and the occasional muttered curse over some paper youâre clearly taking too seriously.
The knock is gentle, barely there. âOpen up, doll. Campus securityâs doing a wellness check.â
âBucky?â Your voice comes soft, but cautious. Once the door is opened, he takes a step forward and tugs you into a hug, your arms wrapping around him without thought.Â
âHi, sweetheart. Hi, angel. Hi, my little overachiever.â He murmurs into your hair, pressing a kiss there, then another to your temple.
Your surprised laugh is half-muffled by his chest. âWhat are you doing here?â
âRescue mission.â He promptly exclaims, pulling back just enough to study your tired features. With his hands cupping your cheeks, he looks into your eyes with a feigned frown. âI could feel you stressing from the library, baby. It was like a disturbance in the stratosphere."Â
You roll your eyes. âIâm notââ
He narrows his eyes, and you hesitate just for a second.
â... That stressed.â Your voice fades into a whisper.
âMh-mh.â He leans down and presses a long kiss on your forehead. âKeep telling yourself that, doll.â
Bucky nudges the door shut behind him with his foot while guiding you backward into the room, as if heâs lived here with you his whole life. His backpack drops to the floor, forgotten, only for him to engulf you back in his arms.Â
âYouâre freezing, sweetheart.â He murmurs. âWhy is your dorm always a sauna in the summer and an arctic tundra in winter?â
You giggle quietly, pulling back just enough to brush a little bit of snow off his shoulders. âItâs just particularly cold these days.âÂ
âJust these days?â He scoffs. âItâs inhumane. Iâm having a very serious conversation with your RA about this.â
You grab his sleeve reflexively. âPlease donât.â
He blinks down at you, an eyebrow suspiciously raised. âWhy not?â
âBecause she already scowls at me every time we pass in the hallway after you cornered her about the radiator in the bathroom.â You mumble. âI told you it wasnât that big of a deal.â
âIt clanked in the middle of the night, and then you would jolt awake and never fall back asleep.â Bucky defends instantly.
âStill... she looks at me like I personally filed a lawsuit against her.â You argue weakly.
âGood. Maybe sheâll think twice before ignoring the pipe orchestra in your bathroom at three in the morning.â
âBucky.â You reprimand him jokingly, squeezing his torso once.
âShh.â He whispers, his gaze alert as it scans the room. He immediately spots your laptop and a pile of books and binders stacked like some kind of intellectual barricade on your bed. âYouâre really going to bury yourself in all this tonight?â
âI have a paper due next week.â You admit, sitting on the edge of the mattress. Bucky doesnât miss the way your shoulders suddenly slump, as if resigned. âI⌠just wanted to get a head start.â
He crouches in front of you after carelessly throwing his jacket on your desk chair, his hands blanketing yours perfectly. âSweetheart, look at me.â
You peer at him through your eyelashes, noticing the exact moment his expression melts into something softer, something only you are allowed to witness. Cupping your face gently, his thumbs brush your cheeks with such tenderness you almost tear up. âWhen was the last time you took a break?â
You sigh. âBuckââ
âNot a âI-scrolled-on-my-phone-for-five-minutesâ break. Iâm talking about a real one.â
You look away, suddenly feeling a scorching heat taking over your neck. You know how much he hates when you overwork yourself to the bone, and the thought of disappointing him of all people makes your stomach churn with shame.Â
Bucky exhales dramatically, pulling you back into his chest with a swift move that makes you yelp. âYouâre working too hard, baby. Way too hard. Youâre gonna burn yourself out if I donât intervene.â
You are always three steps ahead, always prepared for some invisible emergency no one else has even considered yet. And not just on an academic level. Heâs watched you fix things for others for years. You dig through your bag without looking and somehow produce exactly what is needed. Band-aids in three different sizesâyes, three. A little pouch of medicine: painkillers, allergy tablets, something for stomach aches because âcampus food is unpredictableâ. Extra pads tucked into the side pocket; two packs of tissues; hand sanitizer clipped to the zipper. A tiny sewing kit because one time someoneâs button popped off and you decided that would never happen again in your presence. Mints. Lip gloss. Hair ties. Bobby pins. A small comb. A portable charger thatâs always somehow fully charged. A granola bar âin case someone forgets to eatâ. Bucky literally recoiled when some tomato sauce fell on Kateâs jeans last month and you were handing her a stain remover pen before she could even acknowledge the stain.
Heâs seen you pull each of those things out at least once, along the relief on peopleâs faces when you quietly fix their problem before it becomes embarrassing. You never make a big deal out of it, always ready to reassure them with a smile.Â
You also remember everything, from birthdays to when your friends have their exams.Â
Natasha gets migraines when sheâs stressed, so you make sure to always carry that specific brand of painkillers that works for her. You keep peppermint gum too, because you once read online it helps, and you donât even like peppermint.Â
Steve forgets to eat when heâs buried in his art projects, so you text him reminders and shove protein bars into his hands without ceremony. Youâve memorized his deadlines better than he has, and you once stayed up proofreading his paper even though you had your own due the next morning.Â
Sam swears he never gets sick, yet you still bring extra throat lozenges when he starts losing his voiceâthe consequence of him being president of several clubs and giving one motivational speech after another.Â
Kate is very confident in herself, but she panics before every presentation. You sit in the front row each time, smiling and nodding at her like a proud mom. You never dwell on the mistakes or the stumbles; instead, you point out the strongest parts of her speech: the clever phrasing, the insights she came up with on the spot when the professor started asking questions, the arguments that actually landed. You always highlight the good things, the moments that matter, and she leaves the room feeling lighter, even when she doubts the quality of her work.Â
Wanda pretends she doesnât get cold, but you pack an extra scarf in your bag anyway. You also walk slower when sheâs overwhelmed, never pushing, just hovering gently in case she needs you.Â
Yelena acts all fearless, but you always suggest ordering something sweet at the end of a meal, because you know she wonât unless someone tags along.Â
Every preference. Every weakness. Every tiny crack people try to hide⌠you smooth them over without them even noticing. And you do it without expecting anything in return, like itâs nothing.Â
Your brain is constantly scanning, ready to cushion the fall before it happens. Youâve somehow made yourself responsible for the comfort of everyone around you, and Bucky loves how capable you are, how steady your presence is to the point everyone gravitates toward you without even realizing. Youâre the calm center, the one people trust, the one who fixes things.
But sometimes⌠sometimes it makes his chest hurt, because he sees the cost. You donât sit down until everyone else has, nor you relax unless someone forces you to. Youâre always the one refilling glasses before your own, the one staying behind to stack chairs or wipe down tables even when it isnât your responsibility. In study groups, youâre the last to pack up, double-checking that everyone understands the material before you even glance at your own notes. You answer texts at two in the morning because someoneâs panicking about something, and somehow their anxiety becomes yours, sitting heavy in your chest until youâre sure theyâre okay. If a friend is upset, you carry it with you for the rest of the day, replaying their words, wondering what else you couldâve said, what more you couldâve done.
You have this way of absorbing other peopleâs burdens and slipping them into your own pockets as if they belong there.
And Bucky wantsâselfishly, desperatelyâto be the one place where you donât have to take care of anything.
With him, you donât need your emergency kit.
With him, you donât need to think ahead.
He carries the snacks; he argues with the professor; he deals with the guys who donât stop staring. He drives, fixes, calls, confronts, handles. You are free to flop dramatically across his lap, and steal his fries. You can let your eyes squeeze in frustration and complain about your professors without trying to solve anything, or fall asleep mid-movie, because you know heâll carry you to bed.
You trust him to handle the world so you donât have to.
He wants to take the weight off your shoulders so permanently that you forget it was ever there, because his affection does not sit politely in his chest. It calls for you. It rattles through him like something alive that needs to breath.
Bucky has loved you for so long that he canât remember what it felt like before. He tries, sometimes, to pinpoint the exact moment it shifted from childhood attachment to a blade pressed under his ribs, not deep enough to kill him, but the wound pulses every time he breathes, as a reminder.Â
Maybe it was the day you grabbed his hand on the playground and refused to let go when another kid tried to tease him for the scar on his left arm, the one he got trying to prove he wasnât scared of the ramp behind the old basketball court. Maybe it was during your first ever movie night in middle school, when he sat completely still for three hours after you fell asleep on his shoulder to not wake you up.Â
Or maybe it was gradual. Like erosion. Like water carving into stone until thereâs no version of the rock that ever existed without the river running through it.
He only knows thereâs never been an end.
Bucky often reflects on the fact that heâs the safest place youâve ever known. You trust him in a way that is almost sacred. You curl into him without hesitation. You change in front of him without thinking twice. You press your cold hands under his shirt because you know heâll yelp and then immediately tug you into his chest to warm you. Bucky finds himself more often than not lying in his own bed and thinking about this, about the way you trust him with your entire body, with your happiness, your quiet and your sadness. But not with your heart. At least, not in the way he wants.
You look at him like heâs home, like heâs already yours. Like thereâs no risk of losing himâand he would never give you a reason to think otherwise. Thatâs the cruelest part. Bucky would stay even if you never loved him back. Heâs been staying since he was fourteen and realized that the reason he wanted to punch that boy at the school dance wasnât because the kid stepped on your shoes, but because he made you laugh too hard. Heâs been staying since you cried over your first breakup and let him hold you as he tried to ignore the way his jaw clenched every time you said your exâs name.
Taking care of you comes so easy to him, maybe too easy. Sam once told him it borders on ridiculousness. But you have no idea what it costs him. You sit in his lap and kiss the corner of his mouth by accident, giggling, looking away too fast to notice how he freezes for a second too long.
You have never kissed him on the lips, though.
Bucky thinks about that more than he should.
Heâs prepared for everything: skipped meals that make you dizzy in the middle of a lecture; all-nighters where your eyes get glassy and you insist youâre âfineâ as your fingers tremble around a pen; the way you grind yourself down for grades like your worth depends on them. Heâs prepared to sit at the kitchen table while you bake and pretend not to want to smooth the wrinkle between your brows when you frown in concentration; or to kiss your lips after you feed him a dollop of custard, because you trust him enough to tell you if it sucks.
Heâs also prepared for every guy who thinks your softness means easy access. For every hand that lingers too long and every flirtatious grin thrown your way.
He is not prepared for the possibility that one day, you might actually want one of them.
Bucky watched it happen more often than not. Smiling politely while some guy leans a little too close, and pretending heâs not tracking every movement, cataloging whether the guyâs hand drifts lower than it should.
He never interrupts. He simply waits. Because if you step back even half an inch, heâs already beside you. If your smile falters, heâs glaring at the idiot. If you look even slightly uncomfortable, heâs casually sliding an arm around your waist.
Possessive enough to send a message, but not enough to claim you.
And sometimes... itâs just unbearable.Â
You call him dramatic when he scowls, laughing as you remind him that you can handle yourself just fine. And he knows you can. He was the one who taught you self-defense in high school, for fuckâs sake. Itâs just that Bucky wants to be the only one who gets to see that soft little grin of yours when youâre on the brink of sleep, to hear your muttered curses when your fingers fumble through a tangle of yarn. Or watch you get genuinely angry over a dumb misunderstanding while reading one of those romance novels of yours that leave you sighing dreamily at the end.
The territorial edge of these thoughts leaves a bitter taste in his mouth, but the shame dissipates as soon as one of those guys smiles at you, making room for something ugly and hot that crawls through his chest and makes his jaw ache.
Bucky has imagined telling you.
It never gets far.
In his head, the words sound steady, confident.Â
But youâd blink, go quiet⌠look guilty. And he would rather cut his own heart out than see you blame yourself for his own feelings.
So he keeps quiet, and pours his love into other things, like gently drying your hair after you shower, and giving you little forehead kissesâBucky knows you adore those because you unconsciously shiver each time. But also calling you sweetheart and angel and doll, and all those other pet names Natasha deems âcornyâ with a grimace. Like they donât mean anything deeper. He touches you, constantly. Not because heâs careless, but because heâs greedy. The contact reassures him that youâre still here, that youâre still choosing to be by his side, even if itâs not in the way he yearns for.
From time to time, when you fall asleep in the crook of his neck, Bucky presses his mouth to your hair and breathes you in like itâs something he could survive on, his arms tightening around you just how you like. Itâs become his favorite thing to do ever since you told him how safe and cocooned you feel in his embrace.Â
Because when youâre awake, you might see the way his breathing changes when your fingers trace absentminded patterns on his chest, or the way he shivers when you call him Jamieâyou are the only one allowed to do that.Â
You might finally understand that every innocent kiss is just him restraining himself.
So Bucky lets himself slip only in the dark, when no one can see the awe twinkling in his eyes whenever you are around. Heâs balancing on a thin line as it is; one wrong move and the entire âbest friendsâ foundation cracks. And he swallows it all. The jealousy, the hunger, those three treacherous words that rise too close to the surface every time you look up at him with those pretty eyes.Â
But loving you is perpetual. It hums under his skin when you let yourself melt into his hugs. It sits heavy in his stomach when your lips brush his forehead with a quick kiss before you run to class. It blooms sharp and hot every time someone asks for your number.
He wonders if he ruined himself by loving you that young, because no one else has ever fit right by his side. Yet, he would rather have you like this than risk losing you by asking for more. Even if sometimes it feels like his heart is stretched too tight in his chest. Even if when you look at him, tired and soft and wrapped in his comforter, he has to glance away and breathe through the urge to kiss you until youâre both left wheezing.
With him, you just get to exist. And if this is the only role he ever gets to play in your life, heâll take it. Because Bucky has always thought of himself as the equivalent of an oversized hoodie thatâs been worn too long.
Comfortable, warm, easy to grab when youâre cold.
But not the thing you pick when you want to feel special.
Bucky presses a kiss to your cheek, then your jaw. When he reaches the side of your neck, his lips linger just enough to receive a squirm in return and a giggle that softens his smile into the most tender thing youâve ever seen.
âBucky.â You whisper, half-scolding, half-laughing.
âWhat?â He asks innocently. âIâm just appreciating my favorite person.â
âYouâre distracting me.â
âGood.â He hums, preening inside. âThatâs the point, baby.â
Moving onto your bed, his hands tug you gently until you stumble back. âCâmere. Sit with me.â
Lying down, he looks at you expectantly, blue eyes prettily begging you to follow him.
âJames seriously, I have to finishââ
âNope.â He grabs your wrists and pulls you forward so youâre kneeling right between his thighs. His hands settle on your hips like theyâve always belonged there, and you shiver, hoping heâll blame it on the heating not working properly in the middle of winter.
âYou need to breathe, angel. And you breathe better when youâre not spiraling over footnotes. Look at you, you chewed on that pen like a stressed little squirrel.â He teases, guiding you until youâre reluctantly lying on your front. âYouâre too precious to suffer like this. Not on my watch.â
You huff softly, but you donât dare move away. The knowledge that you trust him to this extent, that you allow yourself to bend your strict study routines for him, floods him with a quiet, overwhelming happiness that makes his heart ache in the best way.
âYou know,â Bucky starts softly, brushing his nose against your temple. âYou donât have to be in charge with me.â
Your shoulders drop just a fraction, and he takes that in with a hint of a satisfied smile.
âIâve got it, okay? Iâve got you.â He continues with a lower voice. You finally go completely slack in his hold, the curve of your body molding against his chest as your ear presses on his left pec.
And God, he would stay like this forever if youâd let him.
Bucky kisses the top of your head again, tracing a path with his lips that ends on the apple of your cheek. âSee? Thereâs my girl.â He murmurs. âYouâre adorable, angel. Did you know that? Ridiculously, impossibly adorable.â
âAnd youâre impossible.â You mumble, eyelids threatening to close under his tender attention.
âI know. I know, sweetheart.â He murmurs, pretending to pout. âI canât help it. Itâs a curse, really. Youâre just⌠irresistible when you let yourself go.â
âBut you adore me.â He quickly adds.
You donât answer that, yet he pretends to ignore the way his heart skips when you squeeze your arms once around his torso. A hand comes up to run up and down your back slowly. Protective. Possessive in the quietest way.Â
âIf anyone bothered you today,â he mentions casually, jaw tightening just slightly. âIâd like names.â
You burst out laughing and Bucky tightens his hold just a little at that, a fuzzy feeling tingling in the back of his head as his ears are blessed with his favorite melody. âCalm down, stud. No one bothered me today.â
âGood.â His thumb brushes absent circles on your lower back. âBecause I donât feel like scowling at freshmen tonight.â
âYou always scowl at freshmen.â You peek up at him, impossibly cute with your cheek smushed against his chest. The urge to kiss you is so strong he almost shortens the distance between you.
âThey look at you.â
âThey look at everyone.â
âNot like they look at you, baby.â
Thereâs a small silence after that, but Bucky fills it quickly.
âAnyway,â He glides over the topic, his voice suddenly too high to sound nonchalant, so he clears his throat. âYouâre done for the night. Doctorâs orders.â
âYouâre not a doctor.â
âIâm a concerned citizen.â
You lift your head just enough to squint at him.Â
âChronic overworking, severe lack of cuddling, and acute stubbornness are very serious conditions.â His fingers walk up your spine as he lists your âsymptomsâ.
You snort, letting your head fall back to its previous resting place. âYouâre ridiculous.â
âMh. Tragic, really.â Bucky shifts, scooting back against the headboard to settle against the myriad of pillows you accumulated throughout the years, tugging you with him. âPrescription says: cuddles, a movie, and you,â he pats his chest, wiggling his eyebrows. âRight here.âÂ
You laugh again, softer now that you have given up. âAlright, alright, Dr. Barnes.â You know he hates when you roll your eyes, but you do it anyway.Â
âHa! Victory!â He whispers triumphantly.
You shake your head, the corners of your mouth betraying you as they lift just slightly when you reach for your laptop. Once you settle back down, you automatically curl into his side, like itâs muscle memory. Itâs always been that simple between the two of you.
He shifts immediately to accommodate you, one arm sliding around your waist as the other tucks behind his head.Â
âYou know Iâm proud of you, right?â Bucky mentions casually, low like a secret you are only meant to know. âYou always work so hard. Youâre so goodâtoo good.â
Your fingers tighten in his shirt, but you only nod, pressing closer.
Youâve never known what to do with praise. It slides off you most of the time, makes you fidget, causes your eyes to drop to the floor like youâre being accused of something you donât quite believe. And itâs not as if Buckyâs new at thisâheâs been telling you how brilliant you are, how capable, how kind, and pretty since you were small enough to swing your legs off a playground bench. Heâs never once missed a chance to compliment you.
Still, every time he does that, your shoulders go tight for a second before you remember itâs just him. Just Bucky. Not judging, not measuring, not expecting you to live up to the compliment. You never thank him with words, just burrow closer, like youâre doing now, hiding your face against his chest as if you can tuck the warmth of his words somewhere safe. They feel so fragile, so precious, and you are still learning how to hold them properly.
âWhat are we in the mood for, sweetheart, mh?â His words are gentle near your ear. âSomething brainless? Something with explosions so I can complain about the physics and you can pretend to be impressed?â
You shift slightly, tucking your leg over his thigh. He adjusts immediately, never failing to make space for you, hand tightening just a little at your waist to keep you steady.
âBlanket?â A small shiver and a nod are enough for Bucky to lean sideways awkwardly, reaching for the fluffy lilac fabric lying on your second desk chair, nearly falling over in the process.
âCareful.â You snicker.
âIâm graceful.â Bucky insists, dragging the blanket back triumphantly. âMilitary precision.â
âYou almost tripped over the air.â
âWell, the air started it.â
He drapes it over the both of you, smoothing it at your hip, before pressing a kiss to the crown of your head like itâs part of the ritual.Â
âThere,â he hums. âContained.â
His chin settles then on the top of your head. âSo? If you donât choose in the next minute, Iâm putting on Interstellar again.â
You go rigid at that. âJames.â
âWhat?â He quips, entirely unapologetic.
âYou made me watch that at two in the morning.â
âItâs a masterpiece.â
âItâs almost three hours long.â
âItâs cinema.â
âYou paused it every five minutes,â you accuse, lifting your head to glare back at him. âYou had diagrams, Bucky.â
He grins, completely unashamed. âYou said you wanted something educational.â
âI did not say I wanted a physics lecture in my pajamas.â
âYou loved it.â
You raise an eyebrow. âI fell asleep during the wormhole explanation.â
He gasps softly. âHow dare you!â
You burst out in an incredulous laugh. âYou started calculating stuff on the back of a takeout receipt!â
At that point Bucky chuckles under his breath, the sound vibrating against your cheek when you drop your head back on his chest.
âYouâre impossible.â You mutter, going back to scroll through movies youâve already watched, and rated, with your best friend. âI need something easy. My brainâs fried.â
âEasy,â he repeats thoughtfully. âSo no space, no time paradoxesââ
âNo academic lectures.â You add firmly.
âFine, baby.â He sighs. âBut one day youâre going to sit through the docking scene without complaining.â
âYou cried during the docking scene.â
âI did not.â
âYou absolutely did.â
With a clear of his throat, he squirms awkwardly under you. âItâs just... well done.â
After finally picking a mindless sitcom youâve both seen a hundred times, he sets the laptop on his thigh, adjusting the angle so you can see as well, then shifts again so your body is draped more comfortably over him, leaving his free hand to lie on his chest. You reach forward absently and lace your fingers with his, causing Bucky to go still for half a second, before his fingers squeeze yours back. He presses another kiss into your hair, hoping you wonât hear his heart do something embarrassing in his ribcage.
âComfy, pretty girl?â He asks softly.
âMh.â You sigh. âYouâre warm.â
âGood. Means Iâm doing my job.â
Huffing a quiet laugh at that, you just curl closer.
Bucky pretends to focus on the show, but really heâs more aware of the slow sound of your breathing. His thumb keeps stroking your side, tracing slow, absent circles that leave goosebumps behind, even with the soft fabric of your sweater separating him from your skin. Every so often he presses a kiss into your hairline, or your temple... just wherever he can reach without jostling you too much.
When you shiver again, Bucky perks up.
âStill cold?â
âNo.â
He narrows his eyes playfully. âLiar.â
âIâm not cold.â
âYou shivered.â
âI justââ You stop, realizing you have no explanation that you can give him.
You can feel his grin into his next words. âYeah. Thatâs what I thought.â
You smack his chest lightly, and he laughsâsoft and lowâthen catches your hand to press a quick peck on your knuckles.
âCareful,â he murmurs. âThis is violence against your concerned citizen.â
Though the small crease in your eyebrows has finally smoothed out, your fingers keep twitching in his shirt, and your jaw ticks every few seconds like youâre biting back thoughts. The tightness in your shoulders is very much alive and burning under your skin, your breathing shaky at the edge each time you exhale. Bucky canât help but glance down at your leg shifting under the blanket every few seconds.Â
He lets it go on longer than he should.
His thumb traces the same slow path over your side, patient, grounding. Pressing his lips briefly to your forehead, he waits for you to melt into him the way you usually do. But instead, you sigh. Itâs a little, quiet sound, but it carries too much weight.
âWhat is it?â
âOh? Nothing, sorry.â Your reply is quick and rehearsed, and Bucky doesnât like that one bit.
âHey,â his arm squeezes your torso once. âNone of that, sweetheart. You know you can tell me anything.â
At that point you shift onto your back with a slow exhale, staring up at the ceiling. âItâs justâŚâ You hesitate for what seems like an endless amount of time to Bucky, like youâre deciding whether itâs worth saying out loud.
âI keep thinking about that paper. I should finish it by tomorrow, because we havenât made any progress with that group project I told you about last week. Iâve sent four messages on the group chat to ask when we should meet and no one has read them.â A small, frustrated laugh bursts out of your chest. âI feel so dumb for chasing them, but at this point Iâll have to finish it by myself.â
His jaw tightens.
âYou know thatâs what they want you to do, right? Theyâre gonna take all the credits while you try to finish the entire presentation by yourself on top of your own assignments. Youâre not supposed to carry all of that, baby. Itâs not fair.â He frowns. âYouâve already got enough on your plate and you need to rest.â
âI know.â You groan, momentarily closing your eyes. âBut I hate not having any control over it.â Words pick up speed as your eyes flit over the surface of your white ceiling turned orange by the warm lamp on your nightstand. âEverythingâs half-finished and sitting there waiting for me, and I canât stop thinking about it long enough to breathe.â
Bucky lets you vent at your own pace, because he knows better than to rush you. You try to sound calm, reasonable, like this is just another thing to manage, but he can feel the pressure running through your veins, the strain that causes your voice to shake at the end.
âI can help you.â
The words leave him before he can fully consider them.
You immediately turn your head to give him a reproachful look. âJames.â
âWhat?â
âNo.â
âWhyââ
âYou have your own stuff to doââ
Bucky shakes his head, pushing himself up on one elbow so he can look at you properly. âThatâs not what I meant.â
âIt sounded like it.â
âYou know Iâd write all your papers if youâd let me, but youâre such a little spitfire, angel. Youâve got this ridiculous way of holding yourself to every rule, every detail... I love it, but damn, youâre stubborn as hell about doing things your own way.â A faint exhale of a laugh slips out the both of you despite the tension. âBut I meant, I can help you not think about it.â
You study him carefully, brows furrowed. âWhat do you mean? Arenât we already taking a break?â
That question sits between you, innocent, and Bucky swears the room is starting to spin.Â
His mind betrays him with an image so vivid it nearly steals the air from his lungs: you beneath him, pliant and warm, your fingers tangled in his shirt, and your mouth soft against his, muffling your sweet pants and moans. Just that morning Bucky woke up from the cruelest of dreams. Your mouth on his, your skin bare. His shirt was drenched in sweat and his underwear embarrassingly sticky when the sun split through the curtains and hit him with a brutal dose of reality. He quietly jerked off in the shower, ears red and stomach flipping with shame as he only saw you behind his closed eyelids, but the ache is always there. It never goes away.
His eyes close briefly.
This is not the time.
But the words sit at the back of his tongue, heavy and impatient.
âMaybe,â he starts slowly, choosing each word like the world might explode. âYou just need something stimulating enough that forces your brain to focus on one thing.â
âLike what?â
His heart is pounding so loudly heâs certain you can hear it. He canât believe heâs really going to say it.
He swallows. âHave you ever thought about⌠I donât know⌠sex?â
It feels as if someone snatched the word from his throat and tossed it between the two of you, like a sturdy stone being violently thrown into a still lake.
You donât react immediately, but you recoil a little, taken aback.Â
âI didnât mean it likeââ Bucky winces, suddenly aware of the very small distance between your bodies. So he stands up, cheeks flushed as your eyes follow him. âI mean, I did mean it, but not in a...â He exhales sharply. âGod. That sounded worse.â
You blink at him, and Bucky runs a hand through his hair, pacing at the edge of the bed like heâs trying to outrun his own suggestion.
âI just meant,â he tries again, cautious now. âSometimes when your brain wonât shut up, you need something⌠physical. Something that makes you focus on anything but your thoughts.â He gestures vaguely between you, not quite daring to point. âWeâreâWeâve always beenâI mean, thereâs nothing we havenât shared, so it doesnât have to be weird. It could just be...â
You tilt your head. âWhat?â
âIâŚâ His mouth opens and closes pathetically, the words dying in his throat as you adjust yourself, now sitting upright with your legs crossed. âItâd just be⌠us.â
The room is plunged into a religious silence, broken solely by the low hum of the old fridge near the kitchenette and the faint sound of your labored breaths. It makes Bucky want to bury himself alive.
Your fingers keep fidgeting with the blanket.
âItâs been a long time.â You quietly admit.
He stops abruptly in his quest of digging his own grave by walking up and down your room.
âWhat?â
You stubbornly stare at your hands, chin tucked down.
âSince... the last time I had sex.â
His stomach drops.
âHow long?â Bucky croaks out, trying to sound nonchalant but he fails miserably as he almost chokes on his own saliva.
You hesitate for half a second, then mumble. âSince Chris.â
The name lands awkwardly between you, like a relic from another lifetime. Those five letters drag up memories Bucky thought heâd pushed down beneath the careful armor heâd worn around you for all these years. You wailing against his chest in his bedroom, the smug grin on Chrisâ face every time he crossed you in the school hallways, and Bucky pretending he didnât want to hunt that asshole down.
His throat suddenly goes very dry. âHigh school Chris?â
You nod, still too embarrassed to look him in the eye.
Bucky lets out a disbelieving breath. âThat was... years ago.â
You swallow. âI know.â
âYou havenâtââ He canât finish the sentence, but you understand.
You shake your head, biting your bottom lip.
His brain struggles to process that. Bucky had convinced himself there had to be someone. Some random fling at one of the frat parties he couldnât attend because of some last-minute visit to his family, or an assignment started too late. He spent so many nights lying awake waiting for your text reassuring him that you were home, safe and sound, telling himself he was being ridiculous, that of course you had allowed someone to touch you the way he wanted to.
But now this revelation feels like being shoved off a cliff, blindfolded in darkness.
âSo,â you start softly, like youâre testing the word. âYou believe⌠sex would help.â
He swallows, nodding sharply. âIt might.â
You glance at your best friend, then away again. âYouâve thought about it.â
Itâs not a question.
Bucky huffs nervously. âI mean, Iâm not blind.â
âThatâs not what I meant.â
His right hand reaches up to rub the back of his neck. âYeah. Iâve thought about it.â
Thereâs a moment of silence that makes Bucky wonder if being completely honest was the right choice.
âRecently?â You perk up.
He almost laughs at that. âDefine recently.â
You try not to smile, and Bucky steps closer again, slower this time, like approaching a skittish wild animal.
âIâm not trying to make this weird.â He clarifies quickly. âI can go away, orâor we can pretend I never said anything and Iâll go back to being your emotional support distraction machine.â
Your head snaps up at that, a spark of hurt flashing in your eyes. âItâs not weird, and youâre not my emotional support distraction machine.â A frown settles on your features, and Buckyâs heart thuds at the adorable sight.
âI was joking, sweetheart.â He reassures you gently.
âI know, but I donât like you calling yourself that. You know you are everything to me.â
âYeah?â He strangles out, and you nod, chewing on your bottom lip.
âYou are everything to me too.âÂ
The air feels different now. Thicker. You glance at his mouth, just for a fleeting moment, yet his blue eyesâtoo bright, too earnest, like theyâd strip you bare if you let yourself crack the slightest bitâcatch that instantly.
âShould we do it?â You ask, almost daring.
Bucky hesitatesânot because he doesnât want to, but because he wants it so much he wouldnât know what to do with himself if you were to accept his absurd offer just for one night.
âOnly if you want to.â His voice cracks. âI donâtâI donât want you to think Iâm taking advantage of you, or something. Weâre just...â He gestures between you helplessly. âWeâre us.â
Your silence stretches just long enough for his chest to start caving in. Bucky examines your face carefully, searching for any sign of discomfort, annoyance⌠anything he can work with. But you give him nothing.
Just a clean slate of neutrality.
The shift inside himself is dreadful, hope morphing into humiliation. Of course he pushed too far. Youâre stressed, allowing yourself to be vulnerable around him and what does he decide to do? He suggests to have fucking sex with you.
Bucky takes a step back without meaning to, already bracing for the fallout. What would you do if he confessed right now? Telling you heâs loved you since scraped knees and shared headphones and walking you home because âitâs on my way anywayâ. That every girl who approached him felt like a placeholder. That heâs swallowed the ache years ago, and locked the longing somewhere unreachable, so it would never hurt you.
âForget I said anything,â he mutters, already stepping back from your bed. âThat was out of line. Youâre overwhelmed and I just made it worse. Iâm so sorry, sweetheart.â
Even the name that has been lightning your eyes up since high school tastes bitter now.Â
Sheâs trying to figure out how to let you down gently.
Sheâs contemplating if this will change things between you two.
Sheâs wondering if sheâs been leading you on without realizing it.
Sheâs suspecting youâve been trying to get in her pants all along.
Bucky moves another step back, running a hand over his face. âIâmââ
âJames.â
He looks up immediately, and youâre suddenly watching him like youâre going to cry.
âI havenât done this in years.â You repeat softly. âSo if Iâm bad at itââ
His stomach drops. âYou wonât be.â He rushes out.
You observe him with a rueful smile, shoulders dropping as if suddenly freed from an unbearable weight. âYou donât know that.â
âI do.â He frowns, blushing violently at how certain he sounds.
Your sigh sounds like itâs been living in your chest for years, and after you clear your throat, attempting to pull yourself together. âWhat happens now?â
His heart is pounding so hard it almost drowns out the show still playing in the background.
âNow,â he says carefully, stepping closer. âI ask if I can kiss you.â
You hold his gaze. âAnd then?â
âAnd then, if you say yes,â he continues, fighting to keep his voice steady. âIâm going to do it. Just once. And if you hate it, we pretend it never happened.â
You donât hesitate, your body unconsciously leaning forward as he kneels in front of you.
âI wonât hate it.â
That confidence nearly unravels him.
âSo⌠can I?â Buckyâs voice is barely above a whisper, rough around the edges, his hunger leaking out after holding it back for years.
At your tiny, shy nod, that carries more weight than anything heâs ever felt, his chest tightens, almost forgetting how to breathe. His hand lifts slowly, almost reverently, and cups the side of your face, his gaze focusing on the action. The feeling of his thumb gently brushing along your jaw makes you shiver, before his eyes flutter close for a fraction of a second, enough to carve this moment into his soul. When he opens them, his breath hitches at what he sees: your pretty, trusting eyes fixed on him, openly giving him permission.
You donât pull back. Instead, you tilt your head just slightly, leaning into the touch, and that simple motion nearly stops his heart.Â
Bucky exhales softly and bravely leans in, lips brushing yours in a featherlike, tentative contactâa question posed in motion. Itâs the most tender of kisses, meant to taste the waters, to ask if you want this as much as he does. You respond immediately, pressing against him, and in that moment, a spark ignites in his chest.Â
Every sensation is magnified. The softness of your lips against his, your eyelashes fluttering against his cheek as you close your eyes, your quiet, pleased sigh⌠Each one sends shockwaves through him.
His other hand hesitantly reaches your waist, just enough to anchor you against him. He doesnât pull, allowing your body to find his to its own volition. The pressure is grounding, careful, and each subtle shift of your weight beneath his palm leaves him more certain, more addicted to the feeling of you.
Your hands slide to his chest, light at first, then press more firmly as if to claim the space thatâs always been yours to take. His fingers twitch instinctively, tracing lines along your sides, feeling the curve of your ribcage, memorizing the rhythm of you in his arms. Thatâs when he deepens the kiss, still careful not to overwhelm. Your lips part just a bit, yielding, allowing him to savor the sweetness, the trust. And your hair is caught through his fingers as he tilts your head slightly, to explore without breaking the fragile balance. The clean, floral scent of the body lotion you recently bought mixes with something inherently yours, filling his senses, grounding him while simultaneously setting his nerves ablaze. You make a high, almost imperceptible mewl that sends heat straight to his crotch, prompting Buck to lean into you just a little more, confirming that thisâthis closeness, this softnessâis real.
Time stretches, the show hums unnoticed, the bed creaks faintly beneath the weight of you both, and your breathing mingles with his, shallow and intoxicating. Every tremor of yours is loaded with anticipation, your heart racing in tandem with his.
Finally, Bucky pulls back just enough to rest his forehead against yours, the tips of your noses brushing.Â
âYouâre so beautiful.â He whispers, voice raw and breathy, as if saying it louder would shatter this dream he never wants to wake up from. âCan I... Can I kiss you again, angel?â
Your smile is just short of shy as you press once more into him. The way he tilts his head is automatic, capturing the soft warmth of your lips again. Your sternums touch, and one of your hands grasps the hair on his nape, eliciting a low groan out of him. This time, Bucky kisses you as if he wants it to bruise, his mouth heavy against yours, trying so desperately to burn himself into you. Youâre trembling in his tight hold, yes, but Bucky is barely holding himself together at the thought of a lifetime spent loving you in secret. His teeth graze your bottom lip in the middle of it all, leaving behind a surprisingly nice sting that makes you shiver. He wants to kiss you forever, even against the merciless ache in his lungs.Â
His hands finally gather the courage to move, fingers digging into the flesh of your hips, slipping under the cotton of your oversized sweater to graze your bare skin, a moan shamelessly falling into your mouth.
âBucky.â You whimper as his lips trace an unmapped path along your jaw.Â
âYeah, sweetheart?â He gently nibbles a sensitive spot just under your ear that you didnât even know existed. You shiver again, feeling the curve of his grin against your bare throat. âWhat is it, doll? Talk to me.â He presses an open-mouthed, heated kiss on the crook of your collarbone, suckling until you squeak.
âIâmââ You gasp. âItâs hard.â You blurt out. âTo... to come these days.â Your voice fades into a whisper. âToo much stress. I canât focus.âÂ
Bucky stills at your timid confession. He presses your foreheads together to quietly stare at you, all blown pupils and this dazed, adoring expression that makes your stomach flutter. âThatâs okay, angel.â He stops your anxious blabbering. âWhat do you usually do?â
âWhat?â You gape at him, not expecting that question.Â
âWhat do you do when youâre alone, baby?âÂ
âI have⌠toys.â Your cheeks feel so hot you start sweating.
âShow me.âÂ
âYouâYou want to watch me while IâŚ?â You squeak, eyebrows shooting up.
His jaw clenches at the thought, cock already half-hard since your lips touched for the first time, before he nods. âWill you let me, darling?â
âButââ
Bucky calls your name, steady and serious. âDo you trust me?â
âOf course!â The way those words fall from your lips, offended that he would even hint you donât, elicits a boyish laugh out of him.Â
âThen let me help you.â
Thereâs a beat. A long, awful, charged beat.
âOkay.â You whisper.
âYeah?â He perks up a little too enthusiastically.
âYes, yes Bucky.â You bite your bottom lip, trying to hide your amusement.
âWhere are they?â
âUm, second drawer of the nightstand.â
Once the box is opened, Buckyâs mouth goes completely dry, so much that it almost hurts to swallow.Â
His brain stops. Just⌠fully refuses to work.
Itâs ridiculous how fast heat climbs up his neck, spreads across his chest and then drops straight into his stomach.Â
A shockingly realistic dildo, a bullet vibrator, a suction vibrator connected to the curled end of a dildo, another dildo, and it vibrates too...Â
Pull yourself together, itâs just silicone for fuckâs sake.
But itâs yours.
And suddenly his mind, traitorous and vivid, supplies images he has spent years trying not to picture too clearly. You, laughing. You, stretching in one of his large hoodies. You, soft and sleepy in his arms. You, riding one of these fucking toys. You, spread on his bed with that thing stretching your pussy just enough to burn deliciously. You, moaning and whining and calling his name, begging to make it better with hisâ
And under the mortification, something else coils low in his crotch. Crude, shameful⌠disrespectful.
âTheyâre just toys.â You mumble, promptly looking away. âRight?âÂ
âYes!â Bucky rushes out, hating the way you seem to make yourself a little smaller, as if embarrassed. âYes, sweetheart. Iâm sorry. Itâs just⌠I never knew youâŚâ He trails off absentmindedly, exhaling harshly as his blue eyes trace your curves. His hands slide slowly to your waist, thumbs brushing small strokes over your hipbones as if heâs reacquainting himself with something heâs known forever but is allowed to touch differently now.
âLet me make you feel good. Can I?â Bucky murmurs, momentarily forgetting about the protagonists of his future dreams. He guides you back until he has you propped against your plush pillows by the headboard, their fuzziness and the soft plaid comforter under you easing your nerves just slightly.
You nod, certain but coyly.
Bucky then leans in carefully, planting a sweet kiss on the corner of your mouth first.
âDoes this feel good? Here?â Half-lidded eyes burn into yours, your breath catching in your throat at the tenderness, and you nod again, quickly.
He smiles against your skin and shifts slightly, lips brushing along your jaw. Slower, lingering.
âWhat about here, mh?â
You bite down on your lower lip, the smallest sound trying to escape your throat before you swallow it back. Another nod.
His hand slides up to cradle the side of your neck, thumb warm beneath your ear as he presses a kiss just under it. He feels the way your pulse jumps, feels the way your shoulders tense before melting again.
âOh,â Bucky hums quietly. âDefinitely here.â
Your fingers curl into his shirt as a reflex, grounding yourself and him both.
Moving lower, his lips set over the spot where your neck meets your shoulder, charting your skin like an astronomer tracing a constellation heâs spent a lifetime hoping to find.
âHere?âÂ
You nod too fast this time, and Bucky pulls back just enough to look at you, all twinkling eyes and clenched jaw.Â
âYou donât have to be so quiet,â he murmurs, thumb pressing against your lip to free it from your teeth. âI wanna hear you.â
That only makes it worse.
You shake your head slightly, and he chuckles under his breath, so terribly fond.Â
âNo?â He whispers, leaning back in. âYou donât want me to hear your sweet sounds?â
He kisses your mouth this time, taking your chin between his fingers and making sure your tongues touch in a slow dance. And you donât disappoint, rewarding him with the most precious of moans.
âGood job, sweetheart.â Your next breath is shaky, gaze avoiding his as Bucky reaches lower to brush his mouth on the sliver of belly exposed by the raised hem of your sweater.
Another nod, and Bucky smiles against your skin, teasing.
âMh, still nodding at me?â Thereâs no bite to it. âCute, but I know you can give me more.â Your hand slides then into his hair as a response, tugging lightly, and Bucky almost breaks his composure. He exhales sharply, forehead dropping briefly to your stomach like he is the one being unraveled.
âYou like that, huh?â He sighs, voice low. âMaking me lose my mind over you?â The corners of your mouth lift mischievously, and Bucky has to grit his teeth to not smile at the adorable sight.
âCareful, doll.â His thumbs slide along your hips, adjusting himself so he can go even lower. âI might just return the favor⌠in a way you wonât forget.â
Your breath hitches, and his lips return patient, learning you like a sacred treasure.
âHere?â His mouth lands on your hipbone, and you nod, pressing your lips together.
âAnd here?â
A kiss on your thigh that again gives him a nod in return.
âAnd what about here, angel?â
Your breath stutters, and this time you canât stop the high whimper that slips free.
His lips... kissing your clothed pussy.
Bucky stills for half a second to make sure he heard right, before a smug grin brightens his features.
âYeah,â he murmurs. âThought so.â
Once heâs climbed back up, hands back at the curve of your waist, he squeezes the flesh, relishing in your startled squeak. âHow often do you use them?â He glances between your cloudy eyes and your tantalizing lips as you cling to his broad shoulders.
âWhat?â You mumble dizzily, blinking as if waking up from a soft dream.
âThe toys.âÂ
âItâIt depends ifââ A gasp interrupts you as he starts mouthing down your jaw and neck. âIf Iâm in the moodâBucky.â You sigh, tossing your head back when his fingers dig into your sides.
âMh?â He barely acknowledges you.
âTickles.â Your fingers tighten in the fabric of his shirt. His grip eases a little, stroking the skin as if to apologize. He goes back to your lips just in time to swallow your wanton whine. Meanwhile, his right hand grabs the box.
âWhatâs your favorite, sweetheart?â He asks, planting a kiss on your cheek that feels too pure compared to what you are about to do. Gulping, you sit more upright to examine your secret stash as he holds it between you two, his left hand gently splaying over your thigh to comfort you.
Your hand snatches the purple dildo that vibrates, your cheeks instantly heating up as Bucky leans back over you with a satisfied smile, kissing you with more love than hunger. His tongue runs along your lower lip, and when granted permission, he meets your tongue in an eager dance.
âThis okay?â He pants in your mouth, his fingers having traveled to the waistband of your sweats without you even noticing it. His lips have you so dizzy your brain has been turned to complete mush, so you can only nod, already tugging him back to you as he lowers your bottoms, tossing them somewhere on the floor. You whimper in protest when Bucky doesnât move, taking a moment to examine your panties, something that you were entirely unprepared for.Â
âYouâve been this wet the whole time, baby?â
Oh.
You feel your eyes widen, jaw going slack as you notice exactly what he was referring to. Glancing away in embarrassment, your hands shoot up to cover your face. You knew you were aroused, but hearing your best friend declaring it so crudely just makes you want to hide under your sheets and never come out. Your core throbs just a little, hot and aching under the uncomfortable fabric and his intense attention. Your fingers part shyly just in time to see Bucky reach for your centre, flinching as two fingers start a slow rubbing motion with just enough pressure, and an occasional pinch of your nub. Your slick seeps through, turning the cotton to a darker color, and Bucky groans as his digits get sticky with your arousal, his other hand undoing the belt and then unbuttoning his jeans for some room for his erection.
Your stomach churns as you bravely tuck your palms under your chin, finding him still staring at that stain. Itâs really happening, you realize at once, particularly vulnerable now that your best friend looms between your spread thighs.Â
âYour shirt, can youâŚ?â You croak out softly, and thatâs when Buckyâs head shoots up, hands clumsily going for the hem of his sweater. You then wrap one hand around his neck to bring him back into a kiss as you let the other wrap around the dildo. Still devouring your lips, his fingers focus now on your panties, holding them from both sides until an abrupt rip echoes in the silent room.
You gasp, eyes snapping wide open just in time to see his hand carelessly toss your ruined underwear over his shoulders. Unbothered by the fact that he literally just tore the fabric in two, his whole body tenses at the faint click, followed by a low buzzing noise. The toy comes to life in your hand, tingling your palm, and you consider the sensation for a short moment, before pressing the button again.Â
âFuck.â He exhales harshly, his forehead falling on your shoulder to brace himself as he feels your body tense beneath his, a soft whimper getting caught in your throat when you press the tip of the toy firmly against your clit.
âCan Iââ He clears his throat, voice so rough you can hear restrain bleed through. âCan I look, princess?â He could come right now, completely untouched, but your comfort comes first. Always.Â
âAhâyes, yes please!â Your eyes fall shut.
âSo fucking pretty.â Swallowing back a growl, his hips shift unconsciously. His palms land on your thighs, thumbs stroking the skin at a calming pace. âPrettiest pussy Iâve ever seen.â He murmurs, darkened eyes glancing up at your scrunched-up features.
âOpen your eyes, baby. Let me look at you, câmon.â
The command is soft but you obey instantly, eager to show Bucky just how good you can be for him.Â
âGood girl.â The proud praise elicits a whimper out of you before you can swallow it. Your urge to please him definitely goes beyond eating reminders and proper breaks between your study sessions.Â
Your hips jolt up unconsciously when you start grinding the toy against your clit after pressing the small button once to let it vibrate faster. Your free hand scrambles to grasp Buckyâs wrist in attempt to find some sort of comfort while you let yourself fall blindly into the pleasure. Â
âFeels so good, right?â
Your eyes drift over his face, half-lidded, drinking in the stubble darkening his jaw, the perfect line of his nose, the smug curve of his smile, each contour and shadow marking him as impossibly beautiful. Scorching heat hums between you, and you feel it not just in your skin but deep in your chest, pressing against your ribs like it could tear you open. Every brush of his lips, every press of his palm, every quiet sigh that slips from him drives you closer to breaking open, like stepping through your front door after the world has worn you down, when the pull in your chest finally bursts and you can only surrender to its force.
âBucky.â You call out to him absently, panting.Â
âSay it again. My name.â His voice is suddenly deeper, you can see his throat bobbing.
âBucky.â You moan, raw and louder this time, even if your face feels like it just bursted in flames.Â
âGood girl.â He notices the exact moment you register the words, a shiver shaking your body as your eyes close again in pure bliss.
Yes, a good girl. His.Â
âWanna hear you say my name like that all the time.â He groans. âWhy donât you show me how good she can take this little toy of yours?â
You twitch, aching with the desperate need to put the dildo back, to indulge in the cruel vibrations until you fall over the edge. Yet your body complies without hesitation, sliding it inside your soaking core.Â
âShit.â
You draw the dildo back out again, relishing the drag, setting a slow and steady pace with your wrist as a wanton moan falls from your parted lips. âOh Bucky.âÂ
âIâm right here, okay?â He grits out, exhaling harshly as his gaze traces your body. âCâmon baby, put on a show for me.âÂ
Thrusting harder, your eyes roll back as your pussy clenches tightly around the toy in its desperation.Â
âGood girl.â
All of a sudden, Buckyâs hands, warm and so familiar yet new as they explore your bare sides, glide under your sweater, until your chest is exposed to the chilly air of your bedroom.Â
âThatâs it, baby. Keep that pretty hole stretched for me.â He encourages, his tongue licking his bottom lip as he looks in your hazy eyes, before slowly leaning down.Â
His breath is hot on your skin, thatâs the first thing your brain registers. You close your eyes in anticipation as he tenderly kisses you, then moving down to leave soft pecks on the swell of your breasts that send shivers down your spine. His thumbs brush your nipples so gently, indulging in every little gasp, but itâs not long before his lips close around a hard peak, both nipples receiving sweet suckles that gradually turn meaner.Â
âWhy were you hiding these pretty tits from me, doll mh?â His eyes glance up, slyly grinning when his teeth bite down a little harder and your back jerks up.Â
âYouâre drooling, baby. Canât imagine whatâll happen when I split you on my fat cock.â The needy, desperate whine is out of your mouth the second the thought enters your mind. He licks his way up, from the side of your breast to your damp cheek, before firmly grabbing your jaw. His fingers keep your mouth open, only for a globe of his spit to land your tongue.
âSwallow.âÂ
Gasping, you quickly follow his order, a hint of humiliation swirling chaotically in your belly. It only makes your core throb painfully.
âBeautiful.âÂ
âBucky please.âÂ
âPlease what? Need words, angel.â
Your mouth opens and closes pathetically a few times, before you can string a proper sentence together. âI wantâfuckâI need you.â You eventually whimper out.Â
The deep groan rumbling in his ribcage goes straight to your stomach. âGood girl. Wanna see you come once around it, watch you moan and gush as you beg for me to touch you. And then Iâll make you leak for days.â His lips attach to your neck and collarbone, his rough words muffled by your soft skin.
You nod eagerly, whimpering as you pick up the pace, pushing the dildo as deep as you can, and itâs not long before youâre floating again, light like a fuzzy cloud of pink cotton candy. This is the best torture youâve ever experienced, docile to his orders and exposed to his adoring eyes, but you really need more. You need him to fuck you like an animal, to have his strong hands that until now have only handled you with care to ruin you to tears and hold you down as his cock carves its shape inside you.Â
Bucky coos, observing your reaction meticulously, your legs twitching impossibly wider as you let your head hit the headboard. âThatâs it. Itâs been so long since anyone has fucked you like you deserve, and now my princess needs me to take care of her, isnât that right sweet girl?â
âOnly you, Bucky. Only you can do it.â You whisper.
His shaky exhale gives his anticipation away. âI will, baby. I will.â His eyes lock on your trembling form. âFucking hell, doll, youâre perfect.â His lips are again all over your face, your lust-glazed eyes unable to do anything but flutter shut with desire. âMy pretty girl, all mine.â
Itâs all too much and not enough at the same time.
âYou ready to come for me, sweetheart?â
Nodding enthusiastically, the sound clawing out of your throat is pitiful. You love being stuffed and pounded, but having an orgasm just from it? Itâs not something that comes easy to you. All at once, this feels like a cruel punishment. You need more, but pleasing Bucky is necessary, something stronger than the urge to rub your clit.
âBucky.â You wail, squeezing his wrist.
He gently soothes his palms along your thighs and the effect is immediate. You melt into the mattress at the warmth of his skin, yet your chin wobbles pathetically. âWhat is it? Iâm right here, sweetheart. Youâre doing so good for me.â
âI needâcan I touch it, please?â
Bucky sits back on his heels with a playful smirk, the urgent worry disappearing at once. âYou canât come if you donât touch your pretty little clit?â
âNo.â You shake your head, a thrill of excitement racing under your hot skin. âIâI hit it sometimes too.â You reveal quietly, the words spilling out before you can stop them.
His eyes widen, Adamâs apple bobbing. His whole body goes still, stripped of every shred of cockiness. âWhat?â
You quickly slap your hand against your pussy, glancing up at him to find him licking his lips like a wolf ready to sink his fangs into its coveted prey.
âSweet girl, you like being rough with your pretty pussy?â
At your eager nod, your best friend swears every ounce of oxygen has vanished from the room.
âThen slap it for me.â
You swiftly pull the toy out just enough to bring your hand down with a sharp smack. The shock of the impact makes your body jolt, the sensation recoiling through your core as the wet sound resounds lewdly in his ears.
âFuck!â Your pussy is so tender, yet the slap only spurs you closer to the edge.Â
âAgain.âÂ
You smack your flesh harder, gasping at the delicious sting. Alternating a few thrusts of the dildo to the little spanks, you are not sure youâll be able to wait for his permission to come if Bucky keeps ordering you around.Â
âJust like that, donât stop.â Humming thoughtfullyâhis cock hot and painfully hard, still trapped in the confines of his underwearâBucky takes a deep breath, trying to regain at least a fraction of self-control before coming untouched just by witnessing the girl he yearned so long for losing herself to this debauchery.Â
âYouâre doing so well for me. One day Iâll make you come just by slapping your pussy, I promise.â Your reaction is immediate, hips twitching up and mouth forming a lovely circle around a loud whine. âYouâd like that, wouldnât you? My dirty, little girl.â His fingers smush your cheeks together with a cocky smirk. âYou want another one, doll?âÂ
âPlease.âÂ
âSo fucking sweet.â He growls. âGo on.â
Tears start running down your cheeks unprompted. ââM so close.â
Nuzzling your jaw, he cups your face with such tenderness, appealing directly to that part of you that would do anything for him. âBeautiful⌠so, so beautiful. Wanna come for me, baby?â
You nod enthusiastically.
âYeah, I know you do.â He coos. âCâmon then, put that stupid toy to use.â
âOh my God.â Your eyes roll in the back of your head as you bring the toy back on your clit, the knot in your belly ready to snap violently. At this point youâre far too close to what youâve been craving to care about your neighbors hearing you.
âFuck! Iâm comingâBucky!â
âLet go, doll. You have been such a good girl for me. Make me proud, and Iâll reward you by licking your pussy clean after, okay?â
The tight knot in your lower belly finally snaps. You are at your pleasureâs mercy, your thighs trembling and your aching pussy clenching helplessly around nothing.
âThere you go. Youâre so fucking perfect, so good for me. Love you so damn much, angel.â
The toy ends up dumped somewhere on the bed as your entire focus shifts on your breathing, your head flopping back to look at the ceiling, utterly exhausted and still quivering from the leftover pleasure.
Without wasting a minute, Bucky is already kissing his way down your body, gently and attentively, until he stops between your legs, resting his head against your inner thigh, two fingers leisurely running from your clit down to your entrance.Â
Your reaction is immediate as your body lurches. âBucky.âÂ
He softly parts your glistening folds with his thumbs. âLook at this pretty mess.â He whispers directly into your core, his breath sending shivers down your spine.
As Bucky lazily flicks your clit with the tip of his tongue, your body suddenly feels like it is going to implode. A strangled gasp falls from your lips when he slips a finger in, his mouth moving to thoroughly savor every drop of arousal from your previous release on your inner things.
Bucky decides then to busy himself with your clit again, and your body stiffens.Â
âBucky! Sensitive!â You choke out, a hand shooting down to grasp his wrist while the other fists a handful of your bed sheets.
ââS okay, Iâve got you, sweet girl.â With a mumble, he slips another finger in, making you cry out.
âFuck fuck fuck!â You almost scream, thighs snapping close around his head.
Bucky growls at the pressure, hungrily nursing on your throbbing clit as his nostrils flare, your scent making him dizzy as he literally buries his face in your core. Itâs so messy, with his saliva dripping down his chin and the insatiable need to please you driving him wild. You can feel its intensity from the way his starved tongue laps at you, every flick sending biting sparks down your spine.
Your mind and body are both spiraling out of control, thoroughly consumed by the exquisite sensation of his fingers stretching you so deliciously.Â
His eyes stay fixed on your crumpled features, his hand imprinting its shape on the soft flesh of your thigh to stop himself from humping your bed like a beast, so close to his own release that he could come right there with a single brush of the mattress against his cock.Â
He pulls away with a wet squelch, groaning in delight at the intoxicating taste. âMake a mess on my faceâ He rumbles, chest heaving. âWanna taste you every day on my tongue.â His mouth latches back onto your clit, sucking on it with a steady rhythm, producing such humiliating, sloppy sounds.Â
His fingers strategically curl up, massaging that sweet spot of yours, leaving you teetering on the edge of sublime release. His arms shake with pent-up desire, still, Bucky makes sure to take his time with your trembling body.
âIâm gonnaâfuck, please please donât stop!â You cry out, fisting his hair and he grunts.Â
âGive it to me, doll. Use me.âÂ
You obey, literally humping his face. ââM gonna come.â You sob, hips frantically driving into his face. âJamie!â His tongue abuses the poor nub while quickly pumping his fingers even as your walls clamp, your slick pouring into his eager mouth, soaking his stubble.Â
âBreathe, angel.â Slowly retracting his fingers, his eyes study your face, your inner thighs burning raw from the way he rubbed his facial hair all over your core. He brings his fingers to his mouth, making a show of licking them clean as he crawls forward to hover over you again, his bulge now impatiently pressing against the fabric for your attention.
âHoly shit.â You huff, on the brink of passing out.
âOne more.â Bucky kisses you.
âWhat?â You squeak out, still dazed yet blinking at him more awake than ever.Â
âOne more, baby.â He implores, his hand soothing along the curve of your hip as you faintly catch the rustling of fabric. âYou were crying so prettily for my cock before, donât you want it anymore?â
Before your lips can part around an incredulous laugh, a weight settles between your folds. Your eyes shoot down as his length is gradually coated in your slick.Â
Thick, long, with veins running along the flushed skin.
âShit.â He grits out, mouth watering at the sight of the mess you are making on his cock.
âIâm gonna come inside you, sweetheart. Ask me for it, ask me for my cum.â
âPlease, Bucky.â You swallow back a whine, nails digging into his skin. âMake me yours.â
He shushes your blabbering gently, cupping your cheek. âLook at me.â He orders, your vision blurry from all the unshed tears. âIâm here, pretty girl. Just a little more patience and weâll watch it leak out of you because itâs too much for you to keep inside.â The reverence in his blue eyes makes you shiver as he takes in your pleading gaze. The way his thumb traces your lower lip, so tenderly and hypnotizing, has him unconsciously leaning forward, until your mouths join in a slow dance.
Your name comes out of his mouth in a low murmur against your lips. âThank you for letting me have you like this.â
Youâve been yearning for his touch for what seemed like a never-ending lifetime. Every fiber of your being has ached for him, and now that you have him like this, warm and gentle and staring down at you as if you are the missing piece of himself he was searching for all along, you canât ignore it anymore.
âI love you, Bucky.â You blurt out, tremblingly grabbing his face with both of your hands, bringing him down for another kissâhard and desperate and filthy, your heart beating so fast youâre convinced itâs going to escape your chest anytime now.
With flushed cheeks, Bucky pants, the tip of his nose brushing yours. âSweetheart,â he soothes dotingly, an ache to his voice that creeps through the tenderness as he buries his face into the crook of your neck. He breathes you in, brought to his knees by three simple words.
âYou donât know how many times Iâve dreamed of this. Of you. I canât pretend anymore now that I know what it feels like to have you in my arms, knowing that youâre mine...â Bucky swallows, eyes falling down on your chest before tentatively lifting up to meet yours.
You have never seen him like this. Hesitant. Never around you.
âYou are mine, right?â
âAlways have.â You breathe out, and with a broken groan, he takes your face in his hands, kissing any part he can reach: from your neck to your collarbones and then your breasts, latching onto a nipple. Moaning, you indulge in his warm tongue taking care of both nubs as his length slowly humps your wet folds.Â
âYou feel it, angel? This is what you do to me.â He murmurs, humming at your nod. âSuch a good girl.â
âYour good girl.â
That earns you a feral kiss. âI have to be inside you.â Bucky pants as your lips messily meet once again. âNow. I canât take it anymore, need to feel youâChrist.â You break with a sharp cry when his tip encounters some resistance as it finally breeches your hole.
âSlowly sweetheart, look at her opening up so beautifully for me, youââ Bucky abruptly grunts as you clench incredibly tight. Maintaining a clear head becomes tricky, his forehead dropping to your shoulder as a choked groan leaves his throat. âYou need to relax for me, or else Iâm gonna finish embarrassingly fast, angel.â A strained chuckle bleeds through his gritted teeth.
âCanât. Youâre so big.â You squeal mindlessly, thighs trembling around his hips as his base finally meets your core.
âI know.â His lips briefly press to your cheek, shuddering. âI know, but youâre taking it so well. God, look at you.â He swallows as his hips ease back slowly, until you can feel only the tip inside. You squeak out a pathetic whimper, hands clinging onto his shoulders. Then he bottoms out again, quicker this time. You gasp, back arching.
âFuck!â You almost scream, your insides feeling so sensitive you feel like you are going to burst into flames.
Bucky finds a temporary steady pace, letting you melt beneath him, then bends your legs back, until they almost touch your chest, satisfied as soon as you respond with a sob of pleasure, the new angle making your eyes cross.
âOh shit! Bucky!â Your nails leave crescent marks into his skin, toes curling.
He canât take his eyes off you, drinking carefully in the way your eyes squeeze shut, or how your hole snuggles his cock deeper when his tip brushes just right against your walls. At some point, his wet mouth is on your breasts again, flicking your nipple some more just to listen to your pathetic whimpers and feel you arch back into him. His hips are picking up their pace, slamming against that deep spot at an almost desperate speed. When his fingers momentarily leave your hip to flick and rub your puffy clit, your lips open in a silent scream as you clench again.
âThere she is.â He growls. âFuck, it feels so good.â His thrusts turn animalistic.
âIâm gonna make a mess on your pussy.â
The shameless sound of your flesh slapping against his is so loud but you canât hear it, too dizzy and lost in the feeling of his dick hitting your sweet spot with a new kind of precision. His muscled arms keep you safe and still for him to play with, his chest pressed against your bouncing breasts so your sensitive nipples are rubbed raw.Â
âFuck, wish you could see yourself right now.â His voice breaks when your pussy tightens.
Itâs too muchâhis fierce, insistent thrusts, his pubic hair stimulating your clit, the way he talks to you as if heâs losing his mind, just blabbering about whatever pops into his head.Â
And you? You can just take it. You scream his name, eyes rolling back and mouth unable to close, legs shaky and hips trying to rock back into his, unsuccessfully. Until your climax unravels violently and you ascend to heaven. Your body freezes, before pleasure ripples through you like pure electricity. Bucky marvels with gritted teeth at the clear liquid squirting out of you and making a mess of his lower abdomen and cock, fucking you through it to prolong your pleasure as much as he can.
You squirm uncontrollably in his hold, but he keeps you firmly locked on his cock.
âJesus Christ, fucking beautiful, sweetheart. Wish I could keep you here and make you squirt on my cock every day for the rest of my life. Youâre gonna make me come so hard.â He pants, voice bordering on a snarl and features scrunched up. ââS coming, take it all, dollâfuck!â
His cum spurts on your walls to claim you fully, cock throbbing, making him groan in utter relief. At some point, some spills out and down his thick length, mixing with your creamy mess on the bed and on your ass. You decide to not acknowledge it, too embarrassed by what you have done.Â
Bucky ends up collapsing over you, forearms firmly planted on the mattress to keep himself from completely crushing you, mindful of your well-being even as he feels like he is going to pass out after this powerful release, fueled by having restrained himself for so long.
Youâre still shaking in his hold, exhausted and sated, but definitely more alert now that you have both freed yourselves of years of longing and pent-up sexual frustration. Heâs reluctant to let you go just yetâand you couldnât be more grateful for that, your body feeling like itâs going to crumble after your last climaxâso he opts to pepper the slope of your neck in lazy kisses, indulging in your soft mewls when he finally reaches your mouth.
Bucky shifts just enough to brush a thumb over your cheek, watching your eyes flutter close and then back open, as though checking if heâs still there.
âHey.â He clears his throat, voice hoarse.
Your lips part, words sticking somewhere between your throat and the tips of your tongue. You try to answer, but only a breathless hum escapes, and itâs enough. He leans closer, resting his forehead against yours, inhaling, grounding himself in the reality of you.
âYou donât have to say anything,â he says more to himself, worry threading through his awe. âI just⌠I just want to know if youâre okay.â
You manage a weak nod, letting your fingers curl around his wrists. His eyes, wide and unguarded, observe you like youâre the only thing heâs ever wanted to understand.
âYouâre perfect,â he says finally, the words spilling urgently, reverently. âEvery bit of you. Youâreââ He swallows, shaking his head slightly, as if even language feels too clumsy for this. âYouâre everything Iâve ever needed.â
A small, exhausted laugh catches in your throat, and you bury your face into the crook of his neck, letting him feel you trembling with the last threads of adrenaline leaving you. He holds you tighter, hums a random, almost inaudible melody against your hair, and for a long while, neither of you speaks.Â
It feels like an eternity passes before Bucky finally cradles your face in his hands, looking a little more lucid.
âWe can talk after. But you need to know, doll, you are my whole world.â His forehead presses to yours, like he needs the contact to stay upright, as if pulling away means the gravity of the moment would swallow him whole.Â
âYou have no idea,â he murmurs, voice breaking at the edges. âHow long I tried to hold this in. But I canât anymore, not after tonight, not after having a taste of what it feels like to be completely and utterly yours.â His thumb traces the curve of your jaw.
âI think Iâve loved you,â his breath hitches, because he canât believe heâs finally saying it out loud for you to hear. No moans, no bed creaking to drown the words. Just the quiet stillness of the night, as if the moon itself is holding its breath with him. âSince I was too young to even understand what that meant.â
Your hand flattens against the rapid drum of his chest, perceiving every irregular skip, every fierce, insistent beat that has somehow always belonged to you. For a moment, it feels as if the rest of the world has fallen away, leaving only the two of you suspended in this fragile, trembling bubble.
Your eyes glisten with tears you havenât let fallâtiny, fragile sparks that catch the dim light like stars at night, and your chest tightens with the ache of everything youâve held in silence for so long. All the unspoken words between you, the years of stolen glances, small touches, and secrets suddenly all converge in this single moment.
His shoulders shift, leaning ever so slightly toward you, and your fingers press more firmly, almost desperate, into the heat of his chest.Â
âJamie,â your voice quivers. âItâs always been you.â
And when you glance up at him, so radiant and so inevitably his, Bucky finally looks at you without any restraint, staying like he always has, and always will.
END NOTES: thank you so much for reading đ¤
Yearning Bucky is so đđĽ°đ¤
Arcade Date with Jake Seresin
Jake is a very competitive man. You've known him long enough to recognize that. Which makes dates like this one actually fun. He doesn't lose on purpose or let you win. He plays fair, plays the games like they're supposed to be played. Which only makes every single time you win that much more satisfying. He's a good sport about his losses. Mainly asking you to kiss it all better after every loss, and saying something cheesy like, "The real prize is you, darlin'." He loves the way you laugh right after. His competitiveness, however, comes in handy when you want something. Like today, the arcade is bustling with music and over a hundred games going on at the same time. It's lively, with neon lights lighting up every inch of the arcade. You and Jake have gone through a few games already, collecting tickets to hopefully get a decent prize later. You were checking out the games to see which one to play next when you noticed a couple playing a racing game, a few feet ahead of you. But what you really noticed was the cute teddy bear the girlfriend had on her lap. It was tiny, fitting perfectly in her lap, and you found is so adorable. All you did was point it out to Jake and that man was soon on a mission. Before you knew it, Jake had your hand in his, leading you away to the area with all the claw machines. He of course was now going to win you a teddy bear. You thought it was a sweet gesture, especially seeing how determined he was to get it for you. You were wrong. Partially. That man was looking to win you a teddy bear, but he wasn't looking to win you that tiny teddy bear. Your boyfriend was looking to win you the biggest teddy bear he could possibly find. Which he eventually did, and it was about the size of an average human. A part of you wanted to laugh at the silliness of it, but alas, you know your Jake all too well. And you know him well enough to know you will not be leaving that spot until he gets it. Luckily, the string that was holding the bear in the cage was already on some of it's last threads. So it only took twenty minutesâand an absurd amount of card swipesâfor that large bear to be all yours. You couldn't contain your smile when it was finally in your arms, enormous and fluffy, you weren't even thinking in that moment on where you were going to put it. You gave Jake plenty of thank you kisses, but even without them it would have been worth it by just the smile you gave him when he won it. No one had ever looked at him like that before you, with such awe and reverence. He knew then and there he'd spend the rest of his life making sure that was the only way you ever looked at him.
My beloved bestie, it seems our beloved blonde just couldn't help himself and had to win you that teddy bear! If you were wondering about the size, the bear is right there in the top left hand corner of the moodboard. I hope you liked it! Thank you for sending this in for my sleepover @thelomlbuckybarnes !! âĄâĄâĄ
Cute đ¤đ¤
on call â s. miller
mr argumentative part 2 â pt1
pairing: dad!scott miller x f!co-parent reader synopsis: you realise that detaching yourself from scott while pregnant may be a little harder than you think content: [18+MDNI] javi cameo, abortion mentioned in passing, arguing (pretends to be shocked), avoidant reader, pent up reader, f!masturbation, scott's annoying, slight begging, unprotected pinv (please do not expect sense from these two), fingering (reader receiving), hungry hungry hippos the two of them word count: 6.1k taglist: @she-sounds-hidieous, @dracuula98, @everydaydreamer, @wildflowersandvibranium, @clarkentluvr, @magicwithaknife, @winterschildren8, @laniec03, @peachiestevie, @snowyathena, @only-dot-nicky, @hoodharlow, @whosmev, @rynwritesstuff, @only4fun11, @kryptidfiles, @adoringanakin author's note: dad!scott. my beloved. i hope it's clear who the main enemy of progress in this co-parentuationship is. also to that anon who asked if there was a part 2 ... here u are <3 and well... part 3 pending!! anyways...if u enjoy this please leave a comment, reblog, or maybe even send an ask :) thank you! dividers by @uzmacchiato
dad!scott masterlist â main masterlist â join my taglist âĄĚ
âI ask you to take her home, and youâre telling me you got her pregnant instead?â
You watch a muscle in Javiâs face twitch as he addresses Scott, his eyes flitting to your stomach briefly.
âNot on purpose,â Scott defends with a shrug of his shoulders. He sounds almost bored when he says it, toying with non-existent lint on his shirt.
âThat makes it worse, Scott. And you,â Javi turns his disappointed gaze to you. âI thought kids were for later. I thought you were focusing on your career and having fun andâŚâ he trails off in exasperation, glancing frustratedly between yo u and Scott.
He puts his head in his hands with all the heavy disappointment of a father who just found out his teenage daughter is pregnant, and you grimace at Scott who just shrugs.
âPlease donât tell me youâre here to invite me to a shotgun wedding,â Javi blanches, eyes wide as if the possibility just dawned on him.
âEw, no,â you squawk, nervous laughter caught in your throat.
âWhat do you mean âewâ?â Scott asks.
âDonât take it personally, Scott. Weâre just not romantically compatible,â you shrug before stretching your arms out.
âWe havenât even been on a date, you donât know that.â
He turns to look at you and you keep your gaze focused forward on the abstract painting hanging just behind Javi.
âAll we do when we talk to each other is argue, Scott.â
âThatâs not all we do,â he chuckles.
âIâm not sure if this matters to you guys, but Iâm still in here.â
You swallow your smartass comment, and choose instead to explain to Javi.
âThis isnât a big deal. Just figured you shouldnât be ambushed by this since ⌠you know. You know both of us.â
You pick at invisible lint on your jeans.
This conversation feels too sterile, businesslike. You suppose thereâs no other way for it to go, really. You and Scott werenât together so there was no need for the misty eyes and emotional âcongratulationsâ. You donât feel bad about that at all.
âHow far along are you?â
âEarly. I was uh⌠anxious afterwards. Wanted to find out sooner rather than later so I took a pregnancy test at the earliest possible time.â
Anxious was an understatement.
The full weight of your recklessness had hit you in the middle of the next day, and you'd spent a good hour trying to reassure yourself, and then distracted yourself with shitty reality TV and sugary treats.
Just over a week later youâd bought several pregnancy tests â cheap drug store ones and the fancy early detection ones with the LCD screens â and drunk so much water you thought you might burst.
Every test came back the same.
Strong, fast positives. Undeniable.
Your only consolation was that youâd caught it before any morning sickness could catch you off-guard.
âToo late to âŚâ Javi makes a yanking motion and you sigh.
âI considered it.â
And you had. Endlessly. Almost booked an appointment too then chickened out at the last minute.
âDonât tell me Scott talked you into keeping it,â Javi starts, already training a glare on Scott.
âPlease, heâs not that persuasive.â
âOkay, Iâll have you know she sprung this on me too,â Scott defends, agitation clear in his voice.
âSo youâre just⌠choosing to have the baby.â
âYou sound confused,â you say.
âI thought you said you wanted to be in a proper relationship before you even considered a child.â
âIâm stable. Good job, a house with a spare room for the child once I get my work shit out of there. Mom and Dad will be thrilled, theyâve been asking me about kids for years,â you explain. âIâm good. A little scared, but good.â
âAnd Iâll be here too,â Scott chimes in.
âSure,â you flash him a small smile, then return to analysing Javiâs painting.
âSo no shotgun wedding but you guys are making a relationship work?â
âGod no,â you scoff before Scott can say anything. You see him startle slightly in your periphery but you ignore it. âWe donât need to date just because Iâm pregnant. Weâll co-parent. We can manage that canât we Scott?â
You watch Scott swallow whatever he was going to say before and just nod in sullen agreement.
âPerfect,â you stand up. âNow that thatâs done, I can get home.â
The jingle of Scottâs keys echos through the room as he stands up too.
âDonât look so confused. You donât have a car. Itâs the least I can do.â
He has the type of look on his face that lets you know itâs not up for discussion, so you hug Javi goodbye and settle in for what youâre sure will be the most awkward ride of your life.
âI should probably get a car huh,â you joke after an eternal five minutes of silence.
âProbably. How the fuck do you live in Oklahoma without a car?â
âCarpool and Lyft. Sometimes the buses run on time too,â you shrug.
Silence falls again as you toy with the window switch and rack your brain for something to say.
âHave you eaten yet?â
Your stomach answers for you with an embarrassing gurgle.
âIâve got leftovers at home, Iâll manage.â
âIâm hungry too. Letâs just grab dinner,â Scott says, already keying in a new address.
âYou havenât even asked me what I want.â
âYou want leftovers. I donât trust you to pick a place.â
You snort, but you donât argue, just listen to the weather report as it drones on.
He takes you to a small diner smack bang in the middle of a dying or possibly already dead strip mall.
Big Joeâs is flickering above the windows in quickly fizzling neon, and the Christmas window paint is peeling but the place is packed.
âSwear by it. Best place Iâve been to since I moved to this godforsaken state,â Scott mumbles as he kills the engine.
âHey. Oklahomaâs charming,â you defend as you slam the door.
âCareful,â he tuts.
âSorry,â you smile as you trail behind him.
Itâs bigger than it looks from outside, and a bubbly waitress with confusingly tropical nails guides you to a booth tucked away in the corner.
âItâs cute,â you muse, looking at the records on the wall and the defunct jukebox tucked away in a corner.
âFoodâs good too.â
His knee is pressed into yours, his hand on your thigh while he pores over your menu with you. Youâre laser focused, trying to ignore the fact that you can literally feel the heat radiating off him.
âYou know, maybe Javiâs right. Maybe we should try.â
Heâs cutting into your burger for you.
âWhat are you doing?â
âChecking itâs cooked all the way through. Did you hear me?â
âHeard you, Scott. We donât have to. I promise you, Iâm not gonna think any lesser of you if we just co-parent,â you shrug, bringing your plate back in front of you. âSeriously. Youâre sticking around, two parents are better than one, we donât need to make this more complicated.â
âYou think datingâs complicated?â
âI think dating a man I donât have much in common with just because Iâm pregnant with his kid is complicated.â
âYou donât know that. We might have a lot in common,â he argues between bites of his own burger.
âLike?â
âCareer driven people. We know Javi,â he offers. âBoth hard-headed, organised people.â
âIâm not hard-headed.â
âIâm sure you believe that.â
String covers of pop songs play over the speakers as more customers file in, children with their parents, people obviously on dates.
âAm I even your type Scott?â
You lean back, arms crossed while he stares you down. You hate admitting it, but he looks good. The sleeves of his shirt rolled up to expose strong forearms. Smells good too, something simple but earthy.
âI donât have a type.â
âWhat was your last ex like?â
âPretty woman,â he scoffs at the way you roll your eyes. âSmart. Sweet, not quite as mouthy as you. Didnât argue with me all the time.â
âSee. Not compatible,â you motion between the two of you, shifting slightly so you can put some space between you. He follows.
âI donât mind a little argument every now and then. Iâm a big boy,â he winks.
âOkay whatâs my favourite colour then?â
âJesus, how old are we? You ask this on dates?â
âNo. But this isnât a date so it doesnât matter,â you clarify for him. âGuess my favourite colour though.â
âFucking. Green or some shit, I donât know I canât tell. Your favourite colour doesnât matter, you donât even know mine,â he counters.
âIâm not the one trying to build a case for dating,â you say. âLook, letâs table this for much much later. Focus on dinner and getting through this first trimester.â
âFine. But weâre gonna talk about it,â he says returning to his food.
He doesnât bring up dating again, the two of you occupied with people watching and minor arguments about what the best cuisine is. You manage to rope Scott into a game â guess what strangers are ordering, loser buys the babyâs crib â and then try to unrope him when he has a three meal lead.
âYouâre the worst kind of loser,â he observes.
âYou have a head start on me, you come here all the time you probably know these people.â
He lets you call it a draw, baits you into more heated discussions as the night goes on, the dinner rush dies down and customers filter out.
âWeâre about to close,â your waitress comes back. âYâall want any drinks before we do?â
âShit. Didnât see the time, I think weâre good. Just the bill,â Scott replies.
Youâre rummaging through your bag for your purse when Scott looks at you with a confused stare.
âThe hell are you looking for?â
âMy wallet.â
âItâs on me,â he shrugs, flipping his wallet open and pulling out his card just as you find yours.
âWeâre splitting it. Otherwise youâll think this was a date,â you say, smiling at the waitress as she makes her way back.
âOr you could let me buy you dinner because I wanna do something nice,â he throws back.
âScott, you have a lifetime of being nice to me ahead of you. Weâre splitting dinner.â
Your waitress cuts off any argument Scott might have, and he watches with a scowl as you tap your card to the reader for your half.
You half expect him to bring it up on the ride home but he just broods, jaw set and hands gripping the wheel tightly as he navigates the quiet streets back to your home.
âThanks, for coming to tell Javi with me, you didnât need to do that,â you mumble awkwardly as he parks.
âYou sounded nervous when you asked. And I figure itâs good practice for when we have to tell everyone else,â he shrugs as as he walks you to your front door, his hand brushing against the small of your back as you walk up your front steps.
He lingers at your door, thumbs hooked awkwardly through the loops of his jeans.
âNo chance you let me in tonight?â
âNo. Because then itâs actually a date,â you explain, leaning back onto your door. Scott just leans in, too close for comfort but with nowhere else to go you face him head on.
âHow is it a date if you made me split the bill?â
âTwenty-first century, asshole. I split with all my dates.â
You take the opportunity to unlock your door and cross over the threshold into safety when Scott stumbles back a little in confusion.
âThose arenât dates. Thatâs grabbing dinner with a friend.â Heâs in your space again, your head spinning with just how much of your door frame heâs taking up.
âIf youâre fucking fifty. This is how I do it. It means I donât owe anything at the end of the night,â you gesture pointedly to the space between you.
âWell duh, you donât need to fuck someone because they fed you, but why does that mean you need to split the bill? â
âItâs polite,â you counter, âlets someone know youâre not just using them for a free meal?â
âOn the second date sure. Not on the first.â Heâs actually in your house now, planted firmly on the welcome mat. âAnd besides, you donât strike me as the type of woman who only fucks men who take her out for dinner. Iâm here, youâre hot. May as well.â
Thereâs a traitorous part of your brain that concedes that he has a point. You didnât need to be together, but itâs a slope thatâs too slippery for you to even consider going down.
âNo.â You press a firm hand to his chest and try to ignore the traitorous tug in your stomach when you feel the firm muscle, flash back to his skin under your palms while he ploughed into you. âIf we start sleeping together it gets messy, Scott. Thank you for the ride, thank you for dinner. You need to go home.â
He mulls this over, then shrugs.
âTight programme.â
His lips twitch.
âDonât. Go home.â
âIâll see you around. You have my personal.â
You exhale in relief, hand over hammering heart when he pulls out of your driveway. You could control this. You and Scott could be civilised, platonic co-parents who didnât jump each other every time they were alone.
Except your body has other ideas.
All week all you can think about is Scott. His hand on the small of your back. His knee brushing against yours in the diner. The agitated set of his jaw when youâd quibbled with him over the bill. His hands on the steering wheel. His hands on you.
Every attempt to banish Scott from your mind is futile. Itâs not easy when the man in question texts you almost daily. Itâs mostly links with pregnancy diet plans, questions about how youâre doing, how youâre feeling.
All innocent things but thereâs something about the way he cares that has you spiralling. The thought of cool, collected Scott clicking through forums and womenâs health websites to find you resources makes you wonder what else heâll do for you.
You work yourself up, debating the pros and cons of calling him up, asking him to come over just one more time before you guys really have to keep it clean.
PROS: good sex, good orgasm, no more unwanted flashbacks. CONS: Scott smiling, Scott being right, more flashback fodder for your increasingly primal brain.
You decide to phone a friend for this one.
âSounds like you should call him,â your friend Lucy says. âYou hooked up with a guy, heâs a bit of an asshole, but the sex was so good you let him fuck you again like a month later, and now youâre playing hard to get? Am I missing something?â
You debate telling her about the pregnancy, but decide against it.
âNo,â you sigh. âI just donât want him to win.â
âYouâve gotta be shitting me, hold on.â You hear her car door slam shut, the sound of the wind muffled immediately. âYouâre horny. All you can think about is this guy. But you wonât call him because â and let me just make sure I understandâ you donât want him to win. What the fuck are you talking about? Win what??â
âI donât want him to know that heâs got me worked up.â
Or that he was right about the pregnancy making you feel feral.
âIâm not following.â
âHeâs annoying. And fucking smug. And if I call him heâll show up at my house with his stupid freckles and stupid dimples and fucking stupid gorgeous smile and dumb blue eyes smirking and being smug and calling me stubborn,â you explain. You can feel your eye twitching already imagining him darkening your doorstep with that âI told you so,â smirk bright as day on his face.
âOkay he canât be that bad. Heâs Javiâs friend right? Javi wouldnât keep an asshole around.â
âJaviâs business partner which is another reason I canât call him.â
âThe business partner thing didnât stop you before soâŚâ you can see her rolling her eyes.
âOkay itâs stopping me now. I canât just give in. You donât know how annoying he is. He has to be right all the time, and heâs always baiting me into arguments and do you know he called me an honorary lawyer? Code word for bitch by the way. Thereâs something wrong with him and I donât want him in me anymore.â
âSounds like you do want him in you though. Just my professional opinion. It also sounds like you met someone exactly like you and now you donât know what to do.â
You try not to bristle at the tail end of her statement.
âYouâre not helping.â
âI donât know what you want me to say. Since getting on the phone with me, youâve called him hot several times. You said, and I quote âLuce, you should see his arms, heâs so fucking hot itâs not fair heâs an assholeâ and now you want me to believe you care about the business partner thing? Just fuck him. As many times as you need to get it out of your system.â
âI shouldâve called Cate.â
âCate wouldâve asked for his picture. And a number, which despite the way youâre talking I donât think youâd wanna give to her.â
You sigh.
âBabe, look. Just get yourself off and see if you have the hots for him after. Maybe youâre just pent up and need like thirty minutes with a wand.â
âYouâre right,â you sigh.
âI always am. And if that doesnât work maybe you should call him.â
Thereâs a long pause before Lucy continues.
âIt would also be great to see a picture of the guy. Just so I know exactly what youâre possibly missing out on by being so hard-headed.â
âGoodbye Lucy, drive safe,â you snort, hanging up on her mid protest.
You know Lucyâs right. Maybe you just need to get off and post-nut clarity will do the rest.
So later that night, when youâre done with reality TV and can no longer ignore the bottomless pit of need opening up in your stomach you do try.
You try everything. You rub at yourself while listening to your favourite audios, guaranteed orgasms on any other night, except they donât do anything but leave you slick and needy and worse off than before. You try a finger, then two, then three and all it does is make you think of Scott â how filling you up isnât a problem for him. You break out the rabbit and the only time you get close is when you imagine Scottâs voice in your ear, telling you how well you take him with his hands on the backs of your thighs while he has you folded practically in half beneath him as he ruts in you. Not even the wand helps, all it does is leave you sweaty and unsatisfied, always on the brink but never quite toppling over that satisfying threshold.
Frustrated, annoyed and no closer to an orgasm than you were when you started you lie on your bed. The sheets are damp beneath you and you try to ignore the dull throb of your clit.
Lucyâs words echo in your head and the idea crystallises. Before you can begin to tell yourself youâre wrong, youâre opening up your text conversation with Scott. Text was better. If he didnât see it in the next fifteen minutes you could unsend it and go about your day. You deliberate. You type, delete and retype the perfect opener but everything you say reeks with the scent of a horny guy sending a desperate âyou up?â message.
You consider whether to call â itâs 1am and Scott currently strikes you as the type of guy who doesnât like to be disturbed when heâs sleeping â and the pull in your stomach when you think about Scottâs hands on you drive your thumb to the call button.
It rings, and rings, and rings and youâre about to hang up when he answers, a hollow yawn echoing through you speakers.
ââSup?â
He was asleep. You can hear it in his voice, deep and raspy and unfortunately doing nothing to solve your current dilemma.
âShit, Iâm sorry,â you mumble, relieved to find you still have some shame left.
âIâm up now, so tell me whatâs wrong.â
Static hums between the two of you as you mentally workshop the best way to say it.
âStill there?â
âYeah. Itâs⌠an uncomfortable request,â you start. When he says nothing you continue. âYou know how your buddy with the pregnant girl said she was like⌠hornyallthetimeiguess.â
He chuckles and it sends a distinct shiver of irritability down your spine.
âNothingâs worked for you huh,â he says. You hear the muffled sound of movement and you imagine him getting out of bed.
âHowâd you know?â
âYouâre way too stubborn to call me before trying to solve that particular issue yourself.â
Youâre not stubborn but youâll let him win this one. A small price to pay for what would probably be the most satisfying orgasm of your life.
âOkay, yeah. Nothing else has worked.â
You donât mention the fact that you canât stop thinking about him, or that when you close your eyes with your wand at the highest setting youâre hearing his voice, feeling the soft press of his hand on your stomach.
âSo whatâs that got to do with me?â
âExcuse me?â
âYouâre horny, you canât get yourself off. Where do I come in?â
You hear the soft click of a door shutting and you roll your eyes.
âThink you know very well where you come in,â you say to an irritating snicker over on his end. âYou have to grow up. Before you get here, preferably.â
âConfident.â
âI can hear the echo of your parking garage.â
âMaybe Iâm getting a snack. Seeing as I was woken up by an inconsiderate woman.â
You can picture his smirk, light pink lips drawn upwards slightly. The hint of a dimple.
âScott. Please come over.â
âSee how easy that was? Iâll see you in thirty.â
Heâs there in twenty two.
âI hit every green,â he shrugs when you glare at him.
âIâm not a mathematician, but the odds of that happening seem low.â
âYou wanna debate traffic light probability or let me fix your little problem?â
His eyes glint in the dim light of your kitchen, his voice low as he traps you against the counter. His hand traces a slow, dangerous path down your chest, pausing over your stomach as he just stares.
âDo you want water, maybe?â
The pathetic squeak breaks him out of his trance, and he chuckles.
âNot really. No.â
He nudges your thighs open with his knee, resting it between them as he slots his lips over yours, soft only for the second it takes you to relax into him before heâs groaning into you, tongue pressing against yours.
âFucking stubborn.â He rocks into you and when he presses into your thigh you feel your stomach lurch. âHard the whole way here,â he mumbles between kisses, teeth pulling at your bottom lip. âCould see you. Hand between your thighs desperate,â he mutters, âwhat else did you try?â
His lips are by your ear, teeth tugging at your earlobe while you try to make sense of what heâs saying.
âCâmon sweets, what else did you try?â
âWhyâd you need to know?â
âIâll only help if you tell me. You use a vibrator? How many fingers before you realised you needed me?â
His fingers press between your thighs, heavy and rough while his other hand tilts your chin up so you meet his eyes.
âTell me, fuck. Tell me what you did. You think of me?â
You let out a traitorous whine and he swears under his breath.
âYou did, didnât you? You thought of me? Thought you didnât wanna be messy.â He kisses into your neck, hand only leaving your face so he can give your breast a good squeeze.
You break away from him, dash to the other side of the counter so at least thereâs something between you that isnât alive and pulsing.
âStop, stop. Wait,â you pant, arms out. âWe need to be careful. This is delicate.â
âSure,â he shrugs, pulling his shirt over his head. Your headâs rushing as you take him in. Follow the hair on his chest, down down down to his happy trail, watching as he hooks his fingers into the waistband of his sweatpants and kicks them off.
âWhy would you drive here with no underwear on?â
âYou called me because you were horny. Iâm removing barriers to access,â he says, walking around so he can trap you against the counter again. âYour turn,â he smiles, wiggling your shirt off and letting out a low whistle as his eyes drag down your body.
âTell me everything you did while thinking of me,â he reminds you with a soft nip at your throat.
You can feel him pulsing, leaking where he's pressed against you, rubbing slowly against you.
You donât know whether itâs embarrassment or lust, but your tongue is heavy in your mouth as he drags his lips down your chest and takes a nipple in his mouth.
His fingers ghost over your clit and you jerk a little.
âTell me, or Iâll stop.â
Itâs like your mouth is running on a motor your brain doesnât have the ability to shut down as you explain in long, arduous detail exactly what youâd imagined. He never stops groping at your breasts, biting at the flesh and groaning when you whimper out into the kitchen, fingers digging almost painfully into his shoulders.
âSo whyâd it take you so long to call, hmm?â He finally asks when he comes back up. A finger presses into your entrance. âWhyâd you gotta be so goddamn difficult?â
All you can do is whimper as he slides in, nice and slow, curling his finger into you slowly.
âYouâre being a jerk,â you whimper into him, forehead resting on his shoulder while he adds a second finger.
âJust curious. Like pulling teeth with you.â
Youâre arching into him, the sound of his fingers in you obscenely loud in the silence of the kitchen.
âGonna call me next time right? Not as a last resort,â he tilts your chin up so youâre looking him in the eyes again. âOr do you like it this way? You like being desperate and sloppy before you call?â
In its worst act of treason yet, you feel your body shudder, your walls closing down tight around his fingers.
âSomething not quite right with you,â he mutters, pressing his lips to yours in a searing kiss. Itâs messy, Scott matching desperation as he presses further into you. The edge of the counter digs into your lower back, and Scottâs pressed so firmly into you you can feel every pulse but it doesnât stop the moan you let out into his mouth.
âNot enough,â you whine, bucking your hips into his fingers. Your breath catches when he bites gently into your shoulder, his hand palming roughly at your breast. âScott, please,â you ask again. You can feel it building, properly this time but you know you need more. Need to feel him in you, every vein and ridge. Youâre already dizzy at the thought of feeling yourself stretch around him, feeling the heavy pressure of his head as it pushes into that extra special spot within you.
âOkay. Okay,â he says, pulling his fingers out of you with an embarrassing squelch.
You watch in dazed confusion as he sits on your floor, head back against the cabinets as he grips the base of his cock.
âTell me. Tell me how bad you want it.â
âYouâre fucking joking, Scott. Youâre here already. Iâve told you how bad I want it,â you whine, even as your knees bracket his hips and you lower yourself into his lap.
âDonât be shy now. Werenât so shy when you were waking me up for it.â Your eyes follow his hand as he pumps slowly, precum smearing along the shaft.
âYou donât have all night,â he reminds you, his other hand tightening on your hip, keeping you suspended right above him. âGo on say it. Say âplease Scottâ say youâre sorry for being so hard-headed.â
âIâm not,â you mumble, squirming as he presses the tip into you, then pulls out.
âYou are. Otherwise you wouldnât have waited so fucking long. Just ask nicely for me sweetheart, Iâll give you exactly what you need.â
âYouâre being an asshole. Iâm pregnant, be nice to me.â
âThis is me being nice. I got up the moment you called. Been paying real good attention to you since I got here. All I want is for you to ask me nicely.â He letâs go of himself to hold your jaw. âSay âplease fuck me, Scotty. Sorry for being so stubbornâ easy peasy. Wonât even make you beg this time.â
It feels like you're begging and you almost regret calling him. But heâs right there. Right beneath you, aching just as badly as you are. Ready for you â and all you have to do is put your pride to the side.
Just this once.
âPlease, Scotty,â you ask, grasping for him. âPlease fuck me. Iâm-â the words get caught in your throat but he encourages you with a smug raise of his eyebrow. âIâm sorry for being so stubborn.â
Heâs not gentle, pushing up into you in one hard, satisfying thrust.
âJesus fucking Christ! What the hell is your problem?â
It's meant to be stern, but between the breathy pitch of your voice and the way your head falls forward you know you haven't convinced him. He doesnât even respond, no sharp quip or irritated huff, just the swift push and pull of his hips as he fucks into you, groaning in relief.
His fingers are still sticky with you as he presses them into the crease of your hips to keep you moving. Anything he does have to say is muffled when he presses his face into your chest sucking harshly at the tender flesh.
âCareful, please,âyou whimper, hands on his shoulder trying to steady yourself. He nods, but he doesnât move his head, keeps you moving firmly along his length as the sound of his skin meeting yours rings out in the silence.
âBeen waiting⌠been waiting all week,â he finally says when he pulls his mouth off your tits, âall week for you to call. Nearly called myself,â he admits, hands squeezing your ass. âNever imagined youâd call me because you were just dying for it,â he laughs. His eyes are dark, sweat forming along his hairline.
âNot dying,â you eke out, but you know your words mean nothing when youâre so tight around him and your body is almost tingling with the need for relief.
âFeels like you are. Just so fucking, warm and wet and-â his head drops to your chest again, teeth coming down gently around your nipple. Your fingers press into his shoulder a little harder.
âSee? So fucking easy. Can feel how much you like this, canât hide from me no matter how long you pretend.â
Youâre close again, but Scottâs so lost in teasing at your nipples gently that you have to slip your hand between your bodies and take care of your neglected clit yourself.
Itâs pitiful really, the way you grip and pulse as you feel his tongue on your boobs but you canât bring yourself to care that much anymore.
âThere you go youâve got it,â he encourages, âgo on make yourself cum for me.â
Heâs pressing sloppy kisses along your jaw, almost tender enough to distract from the fullness you feel.
âFuck, youâre nearly there can feel it. You need me to help with that too? Canât do it without me?â
You donât need to look at him to see the smirk plastered across his face, and much to your dismay the cocky lilt of his voice is what gets you over, your eyes shut tight as you bury your face into the crook of his shoulder.
Blinding relief is what you feel as he helps you ride him through it, but even when you're done he doesnât stop pressing up into you as your nerves fray from the stimulation.
âScott, hold on,â you choke out, desperately reaching for his hands.
âFuck, you think youâre the only one who needs to cum? Isnât this supposed to be mutual? Or am I just dick on demand to you?â
Youâre shaking your head, trying to clear the settling haze as he just keeps going.
âIs that it? Canât let me buy you dinner but want me to haul ass to give this pretty pussy relief?â
âScott-â
âYouâre gonna let me finish right sweets? Gonna let me pump you full right here on your fucking floor?â
You nod.
âAtta girl,â he kisses into the side of your head. Thereâs a temporary moment of relief as he pulls out of you, but itâs short lived when he puts you on all fours and presses your cheek to the cold tile floor.
âAtta girl, just take it for me, okay,â he coaxes as he presses into you again. âJust so easy, shit, fucking gushing here.â Heâs relentless, squeezing and groping at your ass as he slides you along his cock like itâs nothing to him. âThere we go, just like that, that feel good to you?â
Youâre nodding as much as you can with your cheek against the floor, tightening at the pressure and the feeling of his thighs on yours.
âLook at you. Little miss âletâs not complicate itâ leaking all over her kitchen floor,â he gives your ass a light tap, hips faltering just that little bit when you squeeze around him. He does it again, slightly harder, the echo of it shifting something in your chest. âDoesnât feel complicated to me, though. Feels pretty simple.â He leans forward, lips pressed to the back of your neck as his hand reaches down to rest on yours stomach.
âScott,â you whisper, desperately trying to speed him along, but he doesnât react just hums into the sweat soaked skin at the nape of your skin.
âBaby in there. That we made,â he finally speaks, fingers digging into the flesh of your ass again. âFuck youâre gonna be so pretty. You gonna let me take care of you when your tummyâs all round right? Just like this, right?â
You mumble something, jaw slack as he keeps kissing into your back.
âOh god, canât wait to feel you when youâre all full,â he chokes out, pace growing sloppy,âand these,â he practically whines as he grabs your breast again, squeezing harder. âGonna be so full, wonât know what to do with them,â he trails off, inaudible as he presses himself into you one last time, twitching with a strangled moan.
He pulls out slowly, collapsing in a heap on the floor next to you, arms open in invitation.
âThereâs something wrong with you,â you pant when your head is no longer pure static.
âMe? Youâre the one who called me at 1am because you were struggling to get off.â
âIâm pregnant.â
âYou canât keep using that as an excuse.â
âIâm growing an entire child. That you put in here, by the way. Iâll milk this âtil the day I push it out,â you snort. âBesides if you canât handle this how are you gonna handle being my delivery guy when all I want is the worst pizza invented. Or when I tell you to come over because I have excruciating back pain.â
You rest your head on his chest.
âIâm not driving thirty minutes to give you back rubs.â
âYou are. Whenever I want,â you command through a yawn. âAnd sex. Any time,â you tack on as a joke.
âFood, back rubs, sex. I might as well just move in.â
âFunny. No.â
âIâm serious,â he rolls over to put a hand on your stomach. âCan take care of you better if Iâm here with you.â
âIâm capable of taking care of myself, Scott.â
âI know, just extra hands. Keep you happy while she grows in there.â
âCould be a boy, maybe.â
âMmm. But I want a girl. Little girl would be nice.â
You snort. It never occurred to you that he might have a preference.
âIâm serious though, about moving in.â
âWeâll talk later. Iâm crusting up over here. And sleepy.â
âGuess I need to go?â
You sigh.
âYou can stay. Itâs late anyway,â you sigh, patting his hand.
âNot so strict after a good fucking right?â
âI will kick you out, donât irritate me.â
âI live to irritate you though,â he presses a kiss to your forehead. âLetâs get cleaned up. Mop the fucking floor. Weâll talk about my move in date later.â
Heâs dragging you up before you can argue, pushing you gently towards your bathroom.
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Taming Bullet
Pairing:Racer!Bucky x Ex!Childhood Best Friend!Reader
Summary: James Bucky âBulletâ Barnes hasnât taken a proper break from his professional racing career in years. Feeling homesick and a little lost in life, he decides to take an extended break and return to his hometown. What he doesnât expect to learn when he gets back, is that you and his sister Becca are no longer best friends. Not only that, but no oneâs heard from you in years. And Bucky fears his biggest regret, a mistake he made in his sophomore year of college, is the cause of that.
WC: 13.3k
Contains: 18+ mdni / fluff / angst / smut / female reader / childhood friends to enemies to âŚ? / ex!best friendâs brother / miscommunication / misunderstandings / reunion & revenge / street racing (I did some research, but I took some liberties for plot purposes) / bucky is clueless and down bad / illegal activities tied to street racing / not everything is as it seems / lots of back and forth between these two idiots in love / backseat car protected p in v / dream sequence that takes bucky down memory lane / fun cameos / buckys pov so the truth of it all isn't revealed until the end
a/n hi barbies! đ this fic is for @stantastic-association's barbie collab! thank you to our darling @miraclediviner for putting this gorgeous collab together đ And thank you to the prettiest barbie of them all, my bestie @thelomlbuckybarnes who listened to me yap endlessly about this fic until it was ready for everyone to read. đ Thank you for reading! âËâšâĄ Likes, comments, and reblogs are much appreciated!! âĄâĄâĄ
bucky's dreamhouse | bucky masterlist | main masterlist
This was it.
Bucky was home.
Nostalgia should be hitting him the hardest right now. The longing pull to be back in his childhood home with his Ma's cooking, his Pa's laughter, stupid arguments he can only get into with his sister that always end with Bucky giving her the reason. Sleeping in until his body feels like waking up, getting to pick what he wants to do in the day instead of sticking to a tight scheduleâbeing able to just exist instead of only living for the sake of his career. He should be looking forward to all of that and more right now.
And he is, to some extent.
Underneath the nostalgia, there's an persistent thrum beneath his ribcage. Poking at a part of his heart that's been deeply tucked away within him for years. It made itself known the moment he decided to take a break from racing and come home. It followed him through press conferences and meetings, to his apartment while he was packing his bags and preparing to head to the airport. The thrumming only got louder, harder to ignore, the second he landed in his home town.
And it has your name written all over it.
"Hey! James! Over here!" Rebeccaâs voice can be heard from somewhere in the distance, pulling Bucky from his thoughts. The airport was bustling with activity, people rushing to catch their flights or make it home. Bucky maneuvers through the crowd, his suitcase in tow, scanning faces at the arrivals bay until he finally spots his sister. Only half a year has gone by since he's last seen her, and yet she looks different, more grown up if that's even possible. It makes his chest squeeze slightly with the uncomfortable reality of this being one of many things he misses while he's gone.
"Hey Becs," his greeting comes in the form of a smothering hug, the kind only big brother's know how to give. She whines dramatically about him ruining the sign she made for him, pushing at his chest. He looks down at the piece of poster paper squished between them and chuckles. It's a small cheesy welcome home sign, clearly written in haste as most of the letters are wonky and the glitter thrown at it looks half-assed. He pulls away, grabbing it from her hands and smoothening it out before giving it back, "See, all better." She rolls her eyes, slapping at his arm and grumbling under her breath, "You big buffoon, learn to be more careful." Bucky barks out a laugh in response that only serves to annoy his sister more. Oh, how he's missed this.
He ignores her protests as he slings an arm around her shoulders, pushing them past the crowd of people in the direction of the elevators. "Folks didn't come?" He asks her as they get in and she shakes her head, pressing the button labeled L2, "Ma wanted to stay home and cook you up something nice for tonight. She's driving us all crazy making sure everything's perfect for you." Bucky frowns, and Becca looks at him like she's said too much, "Everything?"
The elevator doors open and they step out. "Yeah, you know how Ma gets about her cooking," Rebecca replies, waving her hand in the air like it's no big deal. He decides it's best not to press the issue, it's just dinner after all.
The conversation changes as they make their way to her car. Rebecca catches his up on her life post graduation. She talks about her new job in the city over, the apartment she's renting with a couple roommates, the coworker she doesn't get along with, how she still visits their parents on the weekends and oh, how can she forget to mention how ridiculously in love her roommates are with his teammate and friend, Steve Rogers.
"You have to get me tickets when you go back. I don't think they'll forgive me if I don't give them a chance to meet him," she mentions, and he hums in response, not fully paying attention as he places his suitcase in the backseat. But it's not like she has anything to worry about, her little sister privileges always win over Bucky in the end.
"Let me drive," he offers, closing the backseat door. Rebecca looks at him like he just asked her something atrocious. "Absolutely not. My car, I drive. Now get in," she orders, not hearing him out at all and getting into the driver's seat. Bucky is too tired to argue, so he heads over to the passenger seat and reluctantly buckles in. But as she's pulling out of the parking lot he realizes, there's something, no, someone she hasn't mentioned at all.
Bucky says your name out loud, pretty as always, but foreign on his tongue as he hasn't heard it anywhere, but in his head for years. Rebecca's body goes rigid, and he doesn't notice at first as he asks, "How's she doing?" He knows he has no right to ask. He knows he has no right to pry into your life or know anything about you now, but he can't help it. He needs to know. Maybe if he knows that insistent thrum beneath his ribcage will finally go away.
Rebecca stares straight ahead at the traffic on the road like it's the most interesting thing she's seen in a long time, exhaling apprehensively, "I don't know."
Well that's shocking.
"You don't know?" Bucky echoes, face pulling in a frown of disbelief. Rebecca's hold on the steering tightens ever so slightly, clearly uncomfortable with the topic of conversation being you. "Yeah, I don't know. We haven't been friends for years. Why would I keep up with her?" At that revelation, Bucky can practically feel the way his eyes bulge out of their sockets, a dreadful feeling creeping in to his system.
"Waitâhold on. You haven't been friends with her for years? When did that happen?" He's trying his best to wrap his head around it all. His brain picking out every memory from the last few years, holidays and birthdays he attended and not once did anyone mention you and his sister no longer being friends. Well, no one mentioned you at all, and your absence was felt, but he thought your absence had to do with what happened between you and him, not what apparently happened between you and Becca.
"Years ago," she replies simply.
"Becca."
"What? You asked, I answered."
Bucky stays silent, staring at his sister expectantly. She glances at him briefly, biting the inside of her lip knowing her brother is too stubborn to not keep pushing for more answers. "We stopped being friends after our first year of college. Things were already rocky when we started, but⌠I don't know we drifted apartâthings happened." Her response was vague, like it took effort to reach into the past and look for a proper explanation.
"Things?" He couldn't help, but keep pushing.
Rebecca sighs, "Yeah, things. New friends, boyfriends, different schedulesâlook, it was a lot of things, but mainly she changed. A lot."
"What do you mean she changed?"
She rolls her eyes, Bucky evidently having pushed her too much, "God, what's with all the questions? Why do you even care?"
The truth is on the tip of his tongue, but he's too much of a coward to let it out. "I don't know, maybe because the three of us were best friends from the moment you two were put in the same kindergarten class. Because we were basically like family to each other."
"Yeah, well, that's in the past now."
The sadness in her voice tugs at Bucky's heart, watching her slump in her seat. It's obvious she wants the conversation to end, retreating into herself the way that she is. Whatever happened between you still weighs heavy on her heart. Whatever Bucky hoped to learn about you upon his return will have to wait. He thought his sister would be the one to give him answers, but all she managed to do was raise more questions.
Bucky turns to face the window, deciding it's best to not bring you up anymore. Rebecca's shoulders relax at that, reaching over to turn on the radio so the music can fill the tense silence. He closes his eyes, trying to focus on the music, but nothing can stop his thoughts from drifting to things he's been avoiding.
When he first decided to take a longer break than he usually gives himself, it was to give himself a chance to figure out what comes next. Racing professionally had always been his dream, but once he achieved it, he felt lost on the after. His racing career took off when he was young, too young to understand when something takes off so fast and bigger than himself, some people get left behind in the dust.
For years, his racing career was overwhelming in the best way. Making a name for himself, proving he was good enough, was all he strived for. His parents and sister had always been supportive, even when certain family members gave their unwanted opinions on how he'd never make it, certain he'd fail. And even though they only got to see him during the holidays or when he flew them out to one of his competitions, his parents and Rebecca cheered him on every step of the way. Promotions, sponsorships, media events, touringâit took up all his time for over half a decade.
But when he finally has made a name for himself, when he finally has the fame, the recognition, when he always wins⌠what's the next big thing he has to look forward to?
That question brought him back here, back home. Feeling lost on his purpose and fulfillment in life made him come back to where it all started. But being back here brings him back to you. And back to the biggest regret of his entire life.
Beyond the window of the car, the streets stretch out into something more familiar. They pass his old high school, the local bakery his mother used to send him to get fresh bread every week, the street that leads to his father's office, the corner store where your first boyfriend used to work, a sleazy guy he remembers punching the hell out of in that very corner for breaking your heart. They pass a park that's been here for ages, the rusty almost rundown playground evidence of its lack of maintenance, but all the years of usage. He remembers taking you and Becca there all the time when you were kids. Chasing you two with his friends around the playground, or pushing you on the wings just a little harder every time to hear you laugh harder. Every inch of this town were where his roots were founded on and surely it must have the answers to what he's looking for.
It takes another fifteen minutes before Becca pulls into the driveway of their childhood home, a cozy light blue two story building with his mother's meticulously cared for flower beds with blue and pink hydrangeas proudly displayed in the front. There's more cars on the street than he last remembered, but he guesses the number neighbors must have grown since the last time he's been here. It wouldn't be the only thing that's changed since then.
Bucky steps out of the car, wondering if maybe he has a chance to take a nap before dinner. He vaguely listens to his sister ramble on about their mother's plans for tonight as he opens the backseat door to get his suitcase. Becca is whining about how they'll probably have to play Yahtzee for the millionth time, when he gathers his things and follows behind her.
His sister walks to the side of the house, confusing Bucky until she explains. "Gotta use the side door, the front's stuck again." Right. At least that's another thing that stayed consistent. No matter how many times his father or Bucky put in the effort to fix the door, it somehow always managed to get stuck. And his father was always too stubborn to replace it no matter how many time his mother asked him to. Stubbornness seems to run in the family.
They step into the backyard, and Bucky was halfway through making an amused comment about his father not fixing that damn door when a loud cacophony of the word surprise startles him. When Becca had mentioned the word everything earlier, when it came to what their parents had prepared for him, what she meant was a welcome party. Various family members and friends of the family were all gathered to welcome him home at least forty people. Tables were set up in neat rows decorated with blue race car table covers to match the balloons tied to each ends. Blue pennant banners were strewn from tree to tree, and whatever his parents were cooking at the grill had his stomach growling like he hadn't eaten in weeks.
So much for hoping to take a nap.
Bucky is touched by the effort his family put in to welcome him home. Although, from the moment he stepped into the backyard he isn't left alone. His mother comes over to engulf him in a hug that is larger than life itself. His father gives him a welcoming hug too before insisting he needs to sit down and eat. Bucky lost count on how many cousins, uncles, aunts, family friends, and others came up to him to welcome him home, hugging him, patting him on the back, and passing him around from greeting to greeting. Once he finally gets a moment to sit down his parents pile up enough cheeseburgers on his plate to stuff him full for a whole week.
The celebrations are enough to keep his mind off of other things for awhile. Between savoring some home cooked food, sharing stories and catching up his cousins on his adventures, and being pulled into a game of dodgeball, he barely has time to think of anything else. And yet, every so often, his eyes drift to different sections of the party as if they were searching for something. He could lie to himself about not what, but who he was searching for. Someone he foolishly hoped would be hear despite what he was told.
By the time the sun starts to set in the sky, Bucky can feel his energy deplete to a point where he can no longer hide it. It's an exhaustion that goes beyond having to evade dodgeballs to the face. Things have started to settle and everyone's migrated to their own corner of the yard depending on whether they wanted to keep playing games, relax by the bonfire, or eat leftovers. He spots his mother at the grill heating up leftovers and he makes his way over to her.
"Need some help, Ma?" He asks, grabbing one of the tongs not waiting for her answer. His mother shakes her head, "I got it, hun. You go back to having fun." She tries to get him back to the party, but at that Bucky shakes his head, scrunching his face up with a clear I don't want to look. His mother laughs at his expression and then instructs him to help out with the burger patties. She starts asking him about his travel here and how he's been liking his party, little things and start conversation. Bucky's giving her simple answers when he looks out at the guests one more time, biting on his bottom lip absentmindedly. His mother can tell he's distracted, and more than that. It seems like she knows exactly what's going on in his head.
"She wasn't invited," she starts, causing Bucky to whip his head in her direction, eyes wide like he's been caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing as she continues, "It's not like your dad and I didn't want to, but your sister was against it."
"What?" Bucky sounds and looks dumbfounded, and his mother can only respond with a short exhale. She says your name, and Bucky's heart races and breaks all in one. "How did youâ?"
"You can't hide things from your mother, James," his mother interjects as if it were obvious. He gaze locks with his mother's for a moment, and there's something close to pity in them. She's right. He was never one to lie to his mother, much less be able to.
A defeated sigh slips past his lips, "Is it stupid I thought she'd be here?" His mother prepares another leftover plate as she responds, "No, not at all," she hands the plate to one of his younger cousins who scurries off with it. "She wouldn't have come if she had been invited anyway."
Bucky clears his throat, suddenly feeling like there's something stuck in it. "Why not?" His mother gives him a look, like she has something to say, but no explanation for it. "I talk to her mom every so often, maybe once a month. She's told me they barely have any contact with her. No one really knows where she is."
"What? And no one's gone looking for her?" Bucky can't believe what he's hearing. His question has no short of worry in it, and he doesn't bother to hide it. The thought of you being out there somewhere and no one knowingâno one even bothering to lookâit didn't sit right with him. It settles within him as well as poison would.
His mother's lips draw into a thin line, a somber look in her eyes. "I'm sure they've tried. I know her parents have, but it's not easy when your kids shut you out. Especially when they're in trouble." Bucky's heart sinks, "Trouble? What trouble?" His mother starts preparing another plate, like she needs something to do, "I'm not sure, hun. Her parents don't know and even your sister hasn't been forthcoming with the way things ended between them. All I know is she got mixed in with the wrong crowd and ended up dropping out of college. The last time I saw her was when Becca found out and they had a screaming match over it. I don't think I've ever seen your sister so angryâŚ"
Out of all the thing Bucky could have been preparing himself to hear about you from his mother, none of this would have ever come close. There's something sickly brewing in his stomach and he thinks if he hears another word of your apparent disappearance, he'll spill his dinner all over the grill.
His mother can tell something is off, so she promptly sends him to bed. He wants to protest until he realizes he burned the burger patty he had been reheating and agrees some rest would be for the best. His mother gives him a goodnight hug and he presses a gentle kiss to the top of her head. Everyone at the gathering is still preoccupied with their own things, so Bucky forgoes any farewells and instead slips inside the house without anyone noticing. Every step up the stairs and toward his childhood bedroom feels heavier than the last.
When he enters his room, there's an appreciative smile that appears on his face when he realizes not much has changed in here either. He can tell his mother has changed the sheets and installed one of those little air freshener devices in preparation for his coming home. And besides his suitcase in the corner, which he still has to thank his father for bringing it up for him, everything else is exactly the same. Which isn't saying much since he's always kept his room simple the older he got. A few racing posters on his walls, shelves decorated with knickknacks, a bookcase filled with books he has yet to revisit, there's not much besides that.
He strips out of his clothes lazily just wanting to get into bed already, when his eyes stray to his desk. He knows why they did. He knows what he'll find when he looks. And yet, he walks over to it anyway, feeling the lump in his throat grow when he sees it's been left untouched. Above his desk on the wall there's a bulletin board frozen in time to the last time he ever used it. He has pictures pinned all across it, happy memories from his childhood with you with him in almost all of them. Every birthday card and letter you ever wrote him is pinned on the board too. Anything you ever gave him he saved and treasured down to the smallest thing. Even to the four leaf clover you once found, gently tucking it between tape for safe keeping. Giving it to him as a good luck charm, promising him it would help him win every race he ever dreamed up as long as he kept it close.
He keeps it in his wallet to this day.
Bucky blinks away the tears he can feel forming in the corner of his eyes. He finds himself more than upset now, maybe even bordering on an anxious frustration as he wills himself to look away. He hastily strips out of his clothes and climbs into his bed, hoping that his mind can quiet once he's bundled up in it. But of course that's not the case. All he can think about now is you. Why would you disappear? Why would you leave and tell no one? Why does no one know where you are? Why did you and Becca get into a big fight and stop being friends?
And why does he feel like it's all his fault?
As he drifts off into a restless slumber, there's a final image that haunts him. It's you. Holding back tears as you look at him with the kind of ire he deserved, but never excepted he would ever have caused you.
That image takes him back to where it all ended.
It happened at his parent's lake house, the summer after his sophomore year of college concluded. The summer you and Becca graduated high school, and had to adjust transitioning into adulthood and newfound independence. Your families had thrown a big graduation party for the two of you, but it was a little too family friendly for Bucky's liking. So without telling his parents, a couple weeks later, he threw a massive party at his parent's lake house in celebration of you two.
You had always held a special place in Bucky's heart, there was no denying that. Whether you or Bucky acknowledged it was another thing entirely. Your friendship with Bucky was just as deeply bonded as yours and Rebecca's, but it was different in its own way. Somehow you found yourself being more vulnerable with Bucky about your fears of the future, about school and life. There were times you wanted to appear strong or dependable to Becca when she was going through a rough patch, and yet Bucky was always able to crumble down your walls almost as if those walls didn't exist when it came to him. From patching up a cut on your knee you'd gotten when you were six while playing hopscotch, to holding you close and soothing you when you cried over your first boyfriend breaking your heartâBucky had always been there for you. The trust between you ran deep, deep in a way that felt rooted in something tied to your souls.
Perhaps that's what always frightened him about acting on his feelings. If he ever told you how he truly felt, that he loved you in ways that went far beyond just friends, and you didn't feel the same or it didn't work outâhe'd lose you for good. And the thought of that, he couldn't even imagine it. Not having you in his life. He honestly thought he'd never survive that.
Nothing was supposed to happen that night. He kept his drinks to a minimum, not wanting to get drunk so he could watch over the party guests. He threw it without his parents knowledge or permission, the last thing he needed was to have an accident happen that he couldn't explain away. You hadn't been drinking much, if at all, either. Mingling throughout the party a little lost since Becca had been hanging out with her boyfriend at the time. Bucky shouldn't have gone over to you when you were standing in the corner by yourself, but he did. He shouldn't have invited you to dance, but he wanted to so badly, so he did.
But he should've known things would end in more than a dance. Having you so close, your body pressed against his, touching him, all over himâit drove him crazy. Careful touches at your hips and waist turned into greedy handfuls that couldn't be satisfied despite the lack of distance. It lead to you two kissing for the first time, desperate and inevitable. And that one kiss led to two then three, until the two of you stumbled up the stairs, not being able to keep your hands or lips off of each other as you made your way to Bucky's bedroom. It led to Bucky caging you underneath him on his bed, kissing you senselessly until the heat between you became too much and you slept together for the first time.
The next morning, you were tucked into his side with his arms wrapped around you, holding you tight to his chest like it would hurt him to let you go. You looked so peaceful in your sleep, beautiful as the morning sunlight blanketed your form. Bucky didn't want to get up, but he knew he had to survey whatever potential damage was leftover from the party and possibly kick out anyone who overstayed their welcome. He kissed your forehead, whispering a promise of not taking too long before slipping on a pair of sweatpants. He groaned inwardly as he made his way downstairs, hoping the damage wasn't too bad. But a quick survey of the house settled his worry. Every room was trashed, but at least nothing seemed broken or irreparably stained. When Bucky made his way back to the living room he noticed Sam, his closest friend, stirring awake on the crouch.
"You crashed on the couch?" Bucky eyed his friend weirdly, he hated sleeping on couches. Sam yawned, stretching dramatically, "Yeah, figured you'd need help cleaning up."
"Aw, aren't you sweet."
"Shut up."
Sam threw a pillow at Bucky's head, which he dodged at the last second. Sam sat up on the couch, scratching the back of his head like he was still trying to come to, "Saw you two go up to your room last night. Congrats on finally getting the guts to make a moveâthought you'd never do it. I can hear the bells already," Sam teased, humming out the tune for 'here comes the bride' while wiggling his brows at Bucky suggestively. Bucky can't remember why, can't understand why, but he panicked in that moment. The image of you in a wedding dress and saying I do freaked him out so badly because for the first time it dawned on him that's something that he wanted. But you were both still so young, with so much life and experiences to love ahead of you. He knew he was getting ahead of himself. He didn't even know if you liked him like he loved you.
Fuck, he's in love with you.
Bucky tried to play it cool. Tried to ignore the way his heart squeezed uncomfortably with the truth. He shook his head, playing it down, "Nah, it⌠it was just an itch I had to scratch. Nothing more. Just something I needed to get out of my systemâŚ" Sam was not amused by his lies, painfully seeing through them, "Bullshit. You and I both know you're hopelessly in love with that girl." Bucky's mouth opened to deny it, but another hard look from Sam had him crumbling.
"I know I know. And I think I messed everything up." Bucky slumped on the couch next to Sam, a devastated look on his face. Sam definitely was judging him. "You did not mess anything up, Buck."
"No I did. I wanted to do this the right way, ask her out on a date. Treat her right, like she deserves to be. Show her what she means to meâ" A couch pillow hit Bucky square in the face, stopping him mid sentence. "Buck, you're spiraling, stop it. You didn't mess anything up. Trust me, just go up there and tell her how you feel."
Bucky rubbed at his face, soothing it from the hit, "But what if she doesn't feel the same?" Sam looked like he was two seconds from throwing another pillow, "I'm starting to think those engine fumes have caused you to go stupid or blind. Buck, that girl is so in love with you."
For a brief moment, Bucky dared to hope that Sam was right. That you do feel the same. That you'd want it to work out between you as much as he does. But then the image of you in a wedding dress flashed across his mind again, and that unrelenting voice in his head made him doubt everything once more. A voice that strangely sounded like his uncles. His father's brothers who constantly let him know how his racing career would never work out. How he'll never make good enough money and he'll just disappoint his parents. How he should just play it safe, smart. Become an accountant like his father and get rid of those silly childhood dreams because his parents didn't give up everything for him just to go "play racer." Scolding him like a child to stop being so ungrateful with his parents and get a proper job so he can take care of them like they took care of him. Voices of people who were supposed to love and encourage him and instead reminded him everyday that he wasn't good enough to ever achieve his dreams.
And if he wasn't good enough for his dreams, then he certainly wasn't good enough for you.
"Even if she is," Bucky swallowed hard, the words feeling bitter on his tongue, "even if we are, she deserves so much more than what I can give her right now."
"Buck."
"No, I mean it. Her life's just starting Sam. She's going to her dream college, finally getting away from this town like she's always wanted to," Bucky shook his head, like admitting his fears cost him something, "I'm pursuing something I don't even know will work out. And if it doesn't⌠I don't want to drag her into that. I don't want to drag her into my failures."
Sam sighed, feeling for his friend, "You're not going to fail, Buck. And even if you doâloves so much more than the good times. It's being there despite what happens, despite the obstacles." Bucky mulls over his friend's words knowing there's some truth to them. But, unfortunately, the voice in the back of his mind refused to let him go.
"Yeah, but loves also about walking away when the timing isn't right."
"Not when, if. You don't know which one it is yet."
With those last words, Bucky managed to find the courage to go back up those steps and back to you. With his heart on his sleeve, his hopes in the palm of your hands, and his blood pumping a mile a minute. But when he opened the door to his room, you were already making your way out of it. Eyes wide and teary when they narrowed on him.
"Hey, baby, hey," he reached out to cup your face, "What's wrong?" You flinched back from his hold like his hands were made of ice, his heart stopped. "Nothing. I'm fine," you bite out, clearly holding back. He stood his ground, "You know you've never been able to lie to me, come on tell me what's wrong." He pleaded, feeling distressed at your change in attitude.
"Nothing is wrong, just let me through already," you tried pushing past him, but his arm shot out between you and the doorway. "No. Not until we talk. Not until you tells me what's going on." He tried to get you to look at him, but your eyes were on everything but him.
"Buckyâ" He cut you off by saying your name in a way that sounded somewhere between utter devotion and utter devastation. You sighed, broken and like you had something caught in your throat. "There's nothing we have to talk about, nothing important anyway."
Now that stung. Bucky would have preferred you slapping him across the face instead.
"What? So did last night mean nothing to you?" Bucky didn't stop the anger that was seeping through his hurt. You looked like you didn't know what to say or did and just didn't want to, "That's not what I said. And it doesn't matter what I think of it anyway. You got what you wanted." Bucky stared at you, scoffing in offense, "I got what I wanted? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"You know what I mean," you said with a finality that caused him to panic. You tried evading his arm by ducking below it. But he was faster than you and stopped you from getting past him. He was frustrated by your vagueness and confused on what you tried telling him without really telling him anything. This was a complete switch up from last night and he didn't know how to handle it.
"Look, I don't know where this is coming from, but just listen to me, sweetheart. I know I can't⌠I know I'm not," He ran his free hand through his hair, frustrated that he couldn't put his vulnerabilities into words, "My career's just starting. There's big opportunities ahead of me and I know I'm not guaranteed success. I'm not thinking ofâŚI don't want to make any mistakesâ" That last word, he should've never used that word. Because you didn't even let him finish when something between a cynical laugh and broken sob came out of you. "I get it. I was a mistake."
Bucky was quick in his attempt to shut that accusation down, "No! No! Absolutely not, that is not what I said," you tried to squeeze past him again, but this time he held onto your arm, "Would you please just listen to me?" You pushed at his chest, hard enough to hurt, the ire in your eyes and tone made his blood run cold. "Don't touch me." There was something close to hatred in your voice and that had him stunned, frozen in place. He was so stunned he could only watch you walk away to the guest bedroom. By the time he came to on what happened, he ran to chase after you only to have you slam the door right in his face. And no matter how hard he knocked, how long he waited, how much he pleaded into the wooden oak for you to talk to him, you never responded.
He was heartbroken beyond what you could every imagine. He couldn't understand where everything went wrong and why you were so upset. He wanted to talk to you, but he also knew he needed to give you space to cool down. He figured at some point in the day he'd be able to get you aside for a private conversation and clear things up.
He was wrong.
That small glimpse of you before the door slammed in his face was the last time he saw you for the next six whole years.
Reliving that moment in his dream was so vivid it startles him awake. Chest heaving, and face covered in sweat as the memory of that regretful morning resurfaces. Thinking back to the way you looked at him, to the way you spoke to himâit's enough to rip his heart to pieces all over again.
Even after all these years he still doesn't understand what happened back then, what had you so upset. At first he thought it was over his slip up and using that damn word, mistake. But thinking back on that moment throughout the years, he realized you had been upset before that. Something happened between falling asleep that night and him going up those stairs the next morning to confess to you that had set you off. And to this day he hasn't figured out what it was. The absence of you in his life, the hollow cavity losing you left in his chestâthat's all he's really come to understand.
Bucky is surrounded by the darkness of his room, the crescent moon in the sky not providing much light to filter in through the window. His room suddenly feels stuffy, and the ache in his chest seems like it's going nowhere any time soon, so he gets up and decides to take a hot shower. Hoping maybe that can help him relax. He's in and out before he knows it, careful to not make too much noise in the hallway as to not wake his parents or his sister in case she stayed for the night. Thankfully, the bathroom's right across the hall from him, so there's not much noise he can make anyway.
By the time Bucky's back in his room he catches the screen on his phone light up. He reaches for it where it lies on his nightstand, seeing he's gotten a couple recent messages. He frowns when he looks at the time, it's just past midnight. Who could be texting him at this hour?
Mini Falcon: Heard you're back in town! You do not want to miss this.
Mini Falcon: [Attachment: 1 movie]
Bucky has an idea of what he's going to find when he opens the video from his old street racing friend. When he clicks on the video, sure enough it's Joaquin showing off a car meet he's at. There's a crowd of people already forming, showing off their cars and probably figuring out who's going to race tonight. He plays the video a few times, reminiscing on his street racing days, and a little envious at how nice some of the cars have gotten. God, there's no amount of money he wouldn't have bet to get a chance to race against some of those machines.
On one of his rewinds, he spots someone in the background that catches his eye. No, not someone, not just anyone.
It's you.
Bucky's jaw drop comically, pausing the video and hating how pixelated it looks when he zooms in, but even through the blurriness he swears that's you. An older you for sure, but it's still you nonetheless. He's recognize you anywhere. You're laughing with a brunette and a blonde, he thinks maybe they're you're friends.
But what the hell are you doing there? Since when are you involved in the street racing scene?
Bucky's mind is working a mile a minute, but if that is youâwhich he sure it isâhe can't miss this opportunity to see you. Especially not after finding out no one knows where you are. If he's found you, then he's taking the chance to bring you home.
Bucky texts Joaquin back asking for the location of the car meet. He's scrambling to look decent, throwing open his suitcase and putting on the first outfit he finds, a matching pair of black sweatpants and hoodie, topping it off with a jean jacket and cap for good measure.
When he looks at his phone again Joaquin's sent him the location of the car meet, and when he puts it in his phone's maps it shows it's being held at an abandoned industrial complex in the next town, over thirty minutes away. With his skills he knows he can get there in half the time, so he wastes no more in getting ready and heading out the door. Extremely grateful that his father kept up with the maintence of his first car, a modified Honda Civic, and he has something of his own to get him there.
Just as he thought, he's able to get to the meet in half the expected time. He vaguely remembers racing here once or twice, which means he also remembers how it's one of the easier spots to get caught at because of the parameters of the race. He decides to park his car a few blocks away, hidden and tucked into a parking lot, a large patch of overgrown foliage and trees obstructing the view of it to anyone passing by. He makes his way over to the car meet on foot, locating it by the booming music echoing throughout the abandoned walls of the complex.
And yet, despite the music and all the engine revving getting louder as he approaches, he can still hear Joaquin's laugh above all that.
When Joaquin spots Bucky, he excitedly waves him over to where he's resting on the hood of what Bucky assumes is his car. "Bucky, man you made it!" They greet each other with one of those hand clasping, one armed embraces that guys do. "Yeah, after seeing the video you sent I knew I couldn't miss it." Bucky responds, making Joaquin grin, "Told you," he points to the guy next to him, "This is my friend Bob. Bob this is Bucky thee legendary Bullet." The man standing next to Joaquin turns to Bucky impressed, his doe eyes wide in awe as they greet each other. Bucky shakes his head, side eyeing Joaquin as if saying 'he's exaggerating'.
"He used to win all the races back in the day, he set all the records," Joaquin adds.
Bucky was going to say something when Bob beat him to it, "All the records Blitz beat?"
"Blitz?" Bucky inquires, not remembering that name in the roster of racers he knew back when he was racing here. Joaquin nods to the car positioned in the middle of the lineup race, a gorgeous blue Nissan GT-R Bucky's sure has been tuned up like hell. "That's what they call her. She's part of Rumlow's crew."
That catches Bucky's attention, "Rumlow's got a crew now?"
Joaquin hums in confirmation, "A few years back he got into a nasty car wreck. Car went up in flames and fucked up his body. He can't race now, so he got a crew to do that and his dirty work for him."
"Dirty work?"
Joaquin shrugs, "Don't know much about it. I just know he imports illegal parts from overseas to modify his cars, but I stay out of whatever they got going on."Bucky makes a clicking noise with his tongue, feeling sorry for any unlucky bastard that got stuck working for Rumlow.
"His crew hard to beat?" Bucky can't help but ask, reminiscing on all the times he beat Rumlow in a race. If his crews anything like him, then they're probably not that good. Bob is the one who answers his question, "Nope. Blitz is the best racer he's got. When he wants a certified win he has her race." Bucky takes that information in. If at any point he wanted to relive his street racing days, then it seems Blitz is the one to beat.
The three of them chat for another while. Bucky learns that Bob races tooâfor a team called the Thunderboltsâalthough he's still pretty new at it, so there's much he has to learn. Bucky offers to teach Bob a few things while he's in town and Bob seems more than eager to learn from him. Joaquin and Bob try to catch Bucky up on all the new faces in the racing scene, but it's too many names at once for him to really take anything in. Once the race starts, Bucky excuses himself from them, pretending like he saw someone he wanted to go catch up with so he could step away.
In reality, he's going back to concentrate on what he really came for. To find you.
He weaves through the crowds of people gathered, being careful not to bump into any of the showcase vehicles. As much as his eyes want to stray to admire them, he keeps his mind focused on you. He pays close attention to every single face he passes, hope blooming and then dying in his chest when he walks past someone that looks like you. When he circles back to where he started he's distraught at the realization that he might've missed you.
He goes back to Joaquin feeling dejected and like he has to start all over again with something he never really started. Bob is no longer standing with Joaquin, and Bucky barely catches the finish of the race. As expected by what he was told, Blitz comes in first with Yelena, one of Bob's teammates he pointed out to Bucky earlier, coming in a close second. He can't remember the names of the other races and quite frankly he doesn't care. They're not why he came here.
Although, even though Bucky only got a glimpse of how the race finished and a bit of the start, he's seen enough to know that whoever is racing for Rumlow is goodâreally good. Blitz drives like the car she's in is an extension of her body and she knows how to get it to do exactly what she wants it to. She's got the kind of control he's only seen with a handful of drivers. Him being one of them.
He finds it impressive.
Blitz's car door opens, and there's a small part of him that's anticipating putting a face to the name. And when Blitz steps out of the car, he finds himself receiving the shock of a lifetime for the second time that night.
You are the one to step out of the car.
You are Blitz.
That means, you're the one who's part of Rumlow's crew.
Shit.
What the fuck have you gotten yourself into?
Bucky is convinced this has to be a dream, he's rubbing the hell out of his eyes in hopes that it is. But it's not. You're standing by your car with a self-satisfied smile on your face as you're handed the winnings of the race. Yelena steps out of her car and heads toward you with a giant grin, congratulating you on your win. It's clear you two are friends. You look every part of belonging here and he doesn't know what to do with that.
Bucky clears his throat, bumping Joaquin's shoulder, "Hey, is that..?" He can't even finish the sentence, but Joaquin doesn't need him to as he follows the direction Bucky is looking in. "Blitz? Yeah, that's her." Joaquin's confirmation only makes the pit in Bucky's stomach grow. "And you said she's part of Rumlow's crew?"
Joaquin nods, not understanding the weight of what Bucky is asking. "Yeah, I don't know much about what else she does for him, but she's his main racer. Any time he wants a guaranteed win he sends her." Bucky's scared to know, but he has to ask, "And when you mention that Rumlow's got some shady business going on, how shady are we talking?"
"Class B felonies dude," Joaquin says it like it's gossip and not the worst news he could've possibly given Bucky. At his silence, Joaquin gives Bucky a look over. "Are you good? Bro, you look like you're about to spill your gutsâliterally." Joaquin steps back a bit just in case Bucky does.
"I know her."
"Who?"
"Blitz." He says your real name after. The name he knows you by, the name he knew you by.
"Oh shit." Joaquin doesn't know what to say. Not with Bucky looking like he's seen a ghost. "Look, dude, she's friends with Yelena and Kate, they're good friends of mine and I know they're always looking out for her. I'm sure she's okay. Maybe Rumlow's only got her racing, not in his other shit." Joaquin attempts to comfort Bucky, but it doesn't seem like what he said did at all.
"Yeah, maybeâŚ"
"Are you gonna go talk to her or just stare at her with your mouth open?" Joaquin teases, trying to lighten the mood. Bucky shuts his mouth and glares at Joaquin causing him to laugh. Bucky roles his eyes at him, Joaquin might've grown up, but he's still like that annoying little brother he remembers. He won't tell him, but Bucky is a grateful to have that unchanged connection to his old friend.
Joaquin's words might've not done much to comfort Bucky, but his teasing was enough to give Bucky the push to walk away from him and toward you. Joaquin whistles to cheer Bucky on, throwing some words his way that resemble good luck. Bucky shakes his head, wondering how crazy you're going to think he is for finding you here.
Every step closer Bucky is to you throws his nerves into high gear. You've already gotten your car and yourself away from the concrete race track. Somewhere over by the corner where a cluster of smaller buildings and a smaller group of people were in. He really doesn't know what to expect once he finally reaches you, or what he'll say, but he knows he can't leave without trying.
The moment you spot him approaching time seems to freeze, your eyes widening and your lips parting like you can't believe what your eyes are seeing. But just as fast as the shock hits your face, you mask it with indifference, but the iciness in your gaze is something he feels penetrate down to his bones.
He sees the door slamming in his face again. The look you gave him the last time he saw you, staring at him through the closing door like he had reached into your chest and snatched your heart right out of its cavity. And now? Now, you were glowering at him like you would put a bullet through his head and not bat an eye. Eyes looking at him with such a disdain it makes him feel physically ill.
When he finally reaches you, Bucky can only come up with one word, "Hey." He says lamely, quietly like there's an obstruction in his throat. You blink at him, crossing your arms as your friends at your side give him wary glances.
"You." Is all you say back, the word coming out almost like an accusation. Bucky grimaces, but he knows he deserves that so he tries to stay calm. He doesn't say anything else, but he glances at Yelena and who he guesses is Kate next to you, before his eyes find yours again, feeling a bit awkward at involving anyone else in your conversation.
You sigh, taking the hint, turning to your friends to ask them for a bit of space. The girls don't look happy about it, but they listen to you. Kate doesn't spare him another glance while Yelena makes sure to give him one hard glare, acting like she'd break his arm if you asked her to.
He really hopes you don't.
"Please, don't look at me like that," he finds himself saying, to which you barely react to. There's clearly a wall you've built between you, one he doesn't know how to lower for the first time in his life.
"Like what."
"Like I'm the last person you'd wanna see here."
"Well," you shrug like that's enough of an answer. Bucky takes a tentative step closer to you, making you tense up. Your reaction makes something break inside him. He steps back, feeling too many emotions all at once. A frustration at you running away, fear at you working for Rumlow, disheartened at the way you're acting like he's a strangerâconfusion over everything that has and hasn't happened in the last six years. It all accumulates the second he has you this close again.
"What the hell are you even doing here?" He didn't mean for the question to come out as harsh as it did. "Excuse me? What the hell are you doing here?" You throw the question back at him with bit of venom in your tone. He elects to ignore it.
"Looking for you," he replies honestly. And that catches you off guard, he can see it written all over your face. "A friend invited me to come watch the race, sent me a video and everything. I saw you in the background of it and I thought I was seeing things. But I had to come see for myself only to find out that not only are you a racer, but you're racing for fucking Rumlow of all people. What the hell is that about?"
You wave him off, "It's none of your concern." He says your name like you're testing his patience. "It's not," you reiterate, rolling your eyes and leaning on the hood of your car, âItâs not even that big of a deal.âÂ
âOh, youâve got to be fucking kidding me,â Bucky growls out with something deeper than frustration, debating on whether or not he should just drag your ass back home instead of trying to reason with you. You stare at him like you could bite his head off. "I haven't seen you in years and all of a sudden you want to show up here and act like you're looking out for me? Fuck off, Bucky," you raise your voice at him, your own anger increasing by the minute. Bucky's arms shoot out in exasperation, tired of you twisting his actions and words into something negative, "I am looking out for you! I did all my life and that care doesn't just go away because I left for some time."
"Six years," you correct him, the heaviness of all the time apart settling between you like a wound that hasn't healed. He swallows hard, letting out a shaky breath, "Doesn't matter, sweetheart. I thought about you all the damn time during those years. I cared about you then, and I care about you now."
You don't believe him, scoffing, "I'm sure you do." He doesn't know how to get through to you. Feeling as though his efforts are going nowhere. "I'm serious. I've been thinking about you all damn day since I got hereâits been driving me crazy. Especially after Becca told me you two stopped being friends. What happened there?"
"It's none of your business," you're quick to sayâtoo quick.
He says your name again, but this time in a plea, but you're done talking. "I'm serious, Bucky, fuck off. None of this is of your concern, none of this is your business. Leave me alone."
"No."
Before you can even start ripping him a new one, the music is cut off. Someone's voice can be heard yelling, warning everyone to get the hell out as the cops are on their way. Bucky doesn't hesitate, having through this same scenario many times before. You don't even see it coming, how fast he swipes the keys from your hand, rushing over to the driver's side of your car.
"Get in the car," he urges, and you're smart enough not to argue with him over this. He can tell you're biting your tongue as you get in the passenger's side of the car, not at all happy with him being the driver. Bucky turns on the ignition and speeds out of the industrial complex while others still scramble to get into their cars and do the same. He doesn't drive in the same direction as everyone else. Making a swift u-turn in the opposite direction everyone else is going. He ignores your protests directing him on which way to go and drives the car in the direction he left his. You don't know what he's doing until he ends up back in the secluded parking lot, parking right next to his car. There's no doubt you recognize it, having been in it more times than he can count. He shuts off the engine, making everything go quiet. There's only one streetlight working, the light flickering every so often making it even harder to see the cars past the foliage. If anyone were to drive by at this time of night, there's absolutely no chance you'd be seen.
The tension in the car is palpable, thick with everything left there is to say between you. Bucky's holding his breath like even his breathing could set you off at any moment.
"You can get out now," you say after a painfully long silence. "Not until we talk," Bucky sees the way the word spark that anger in you again. "I don't want to talk." Bucky shrugs, leaning back in the seat like he's got at all night to go back and forth, "That's too damn bad, 'cause I'm not leaving until we do." He pockets your keys in the chest pocket of his jacket, not giving you a chance to take them back.
"You're fucking unbelievable," you growl out, getting out of the car and slamming the door closed. You practically stomp your way to the other side, yanking the driver door open. "Get out," you grind out through gritted teeth.
"Don't want to."
"James."
You used his first name, clearly he's pushing you past your limits, and truthfully he doesn't want that. He just wants you to talk to him, that's all he wants. He wants to get to the bottom of whats going on with you in hopes he can help you in some way. So he gets out of the car, slower than you'd like him to, stepping to the side to give you enough room to look inside and notice your keys are missing.
"Barnes, give me my keys."
"Not until we talk."
"Are you serious?
"Deadly."
You let the door shut, before holding out your hand expectantly, ignoring his request. "Bucky give me back the keys, the car isn't mine. I have to take it back to Rumlow." Bucky's worry only grows at your words, "Why are you working for him? How did you get involved with him?"
"It's a long story."
"I got time."
"Well I don't."
You're at a stand still, neither of you willing to budge. But in the interest of moving things along, you're the first to break. "My ex got me into this mess alright? Now I gotta get myself out of it. It's that simple," you explain, but Bucky isn't satisfied with just that. "What mess?"
You take a deep breath before confessing, eyes lowering to the ground, "I dated Rumlow's cousin for about a year. I didn't know they were cousins back then, and I didn't know about the family business. He swiped some money from Rumlow and then disappeared. Since I was the girlfriend, Rumlow made me responsible for paying off the money my ex stole." At the revelation of your predicament, of you being taken advantage of, Bucky has to take a deep breath and reign in his anger before he takes his car over to Rumlow's and finishes off what the car wreck didn't.
"How much?" He's apprehensive to ask, but he needs to know. You shrug, "I don't know the exact amount. I just know it's in the six figures." Bucky's heart drops, blood running cold with dread, "Fuck, sweetheart," a beat passes as his head wraps around the amount of debt Rumlow's put you in, "How much do you have left to pay off?" You shrug again, "I don't know, Rumlow adds interest every time I race with one of his cars or some other bullshit reason. I don't think he's gonna let me go any time soon." His jaw clenches so tight, you'd think he's about to break a tooth.
"Let me go with you, let me talk to him," he says it not like he's asking you, but like he's letting you know in advance you're not doing this alone. You shake your head, refusing, "No, absolutely not."
"He knows me. I used to race against him all the time. Stop being so goddamn stubborn and let me help you." They weren't friends by any means, but there had always been a mutual respect between them.
"I don't want your help. I don't need your help." You deny, but Bucky isn't having any of that. "Yes you do. Look at you. You run away from home, you drop out of college, no one knows where you are, and Rumlow's got you racing and doing his dirty work." You bristle at being reminded of your situation. Like if it were the first time anyone's said it out loud and addressed it head on with you.
"And why do you give a fuck? I'm not your responsibility, Bucky," you spit out, making Bucky feel like he's back to square one with you. But this time, you've ran through the last of his patience. "Fuck, this isn't about that! I give a fuck because I care! I give a fuck because despite all these years you still mean everything to me! Because the thought of anything happening to you would actually kill me." His admission causes you to lock eyes with him and within yours he can see something is cracking, he's getting through to you.
"Shut up, and go," you whisper out the words weakly, but he shakes his head, "No. I'm not leaving you. Not again," he cups your face, brushing away a stray tear from your cheek, "I don't fully understand why you ran, although I can take a pretty good guess its got to do with that piece of shitâŚ," a horrifying thought strikes him, "Is he threatening you?"
You tense in his hold, "Bucky drop it."
"He is, isn't he?"
Your silence is the only confirmation he needs.
A few things finally start connecting for him, "That's why your parents don't know where you are, why you barley contact them. Is he also why you and Becca stopped being friends?" The mention of Becca has you stepping out of grasp, his hands falling reluctantly to his sides, "Becca and I stopped being friends before that. So you don't have to worry about her being mixed up in this mess."
"So why did you? Is it because of us? Because of what happened between us?" He doesn't think he's ready for the answer. But he should know better by now that answers from you don't come easily.
"Nothing happened between us."
"No, don't brush it off like it meant nothing."
"Well I wouldn't be the first to do that."
There you go again being vague and crypticâand sounding accusatory toward him when he doesn't even know what he did. "Are you saying that because of the whole mistake thing? You don't even know what I was actually going to say. You didn't even let me finish what I wanted to say back then. Not before you stormed out of my room and slammed that door in my face. Before you blocked me on everything and I couldn't even reach out to talk to you."
His grievances don't seem to move you, "Seems like you still haven't gotten the hint." Bucky doesn't know how many more of your dismissals he can take, so he decides to leave it all out in the open once and for all. "No I haven't, and I won't because I was so hopelessly in love with you and you left my room like what happened between us meant nothing to you. You left and took my heart with you. And now that I have it back I have some things I want to say to you."
His confession throws you off balance, stumbling over your own footing as you take a step back. But he's not letting you get away this time, he's saying his peace like it's the last time you two might ever speak. "That night scared the absolute shit out of me. Because it was the first time in my life I felt as alive as I do when I'm behind the wheel. The thought of you feeling the same way I did brought that out in me and I didn't know how to handle it, and that's on me."
"Bucky, please stop."
He doesn't.
"That morning, I was trying to tell you that deep down I knew I wasn't good enough for you. I was still getting my shit together, still trying to prove myself to people who didn't give a damn about me. But on the off chance that you felt the same way, I would've dropped everything for you. I would've pursued something that would've had me better off, something close to home, close to you. I would've done what I could to help you pursue your dreams andâ" this time you don't cut him off with words, but with your lips crashing against his, hard and with purpose. Knocking the cap right off his head. He's taken by surprise, but when your lips press harder, insistent on not being ignored, he kiss you back. His hands landing at your waist to keep him grounded to you.
You pull away slightly out of breath, "I just wanted you to shut up," you tease, and Bucky takes in a shaky breath staring down at your lips like he wants another taste, "You wanna shut me up again?" You don't hesitate to take the invitation, kissing him again with a passion bordering on hunger. You're stumbling backwards, pulling him in as he's crashing full force into you, lips parting to let him fully in. You're making out, your back pressed against his car, as you pull sounds out from each other that echo in the night air. He takes a moment to tell you this conversation isn't over, but you quickly shush him with another kiss. The heat between you is growing quickly, and it's no surprise when you find yourselves stumbling into the backseat of his car to take things further.
The door shuts behind you with a soft click, his body hovering over yours. One of his knees slots between your legs, deliberately pressing on your core causing you to whine. You can feel the way you've soaked through your panties and tights already. He helps you take off your leather jacket and matching shorts, and he can't help himself as he tears away at your tights, making you gasp. "Bucky, what theâ" He kisses you, mumbling into your lips, "I'll buy you as many new pairs as you want, sweetheart." His answer seems to quell your annoyance for now.
His hand reaches down to rub you through your panties, finding out just how soaked you are for him. He grins wolfishly into the kiss, "Fuck, baby. Didn't know fighting with me would turn you on so much." His tease is met with a slap to his bicep, which only makes him press harder along your slit making you cry out. He kisses your lips one last time, trailing featherlight kisses to cheek and jaw, all the way down to your neck where he nips at the skin. His fingers brush upwards toward your sensitive bundle of nerves to continue his ministrations there.
You only let him have his way for a few more seconds before you're pushing impatiently at his chest. He's already dazed by just a few kisses from you, so when you tell him to sit back he listens without putting up a fight. He sits back in the seat, watching you with something close to devotion as you go to straddle his lap, bracketing his thick thighs with your legs. You strip him of his jean jacket and hoodie, throwing it on the car floor somewhere, raking your nails down his chest with just enough pressure to make him bite down on his lip, looking like he's moments away from coming undone.
You start to grind on him, making a mess of his sweatpants, but he doesn't care, it feels too good to care. His cock twitches beneath you and with the way you smirk at him he knows you felt it. You're making him go crazy, drunk on you, and you're living for every second of it.
One hand snakes it's way beneath your white tee to palm at your breasts, while the other grips your hip to press you down on him harder. A deep groan leaves his chest, and it mingles with your own as you crash your lips to his again, biting down on his bottom lip hard enough to make him whine. Your hips continue their grinding motion, leaving you both breathing heavily enough to start fogging up the windows of the car. One of your hands finds the back of his head and tugs at his hair, pulling his attention long enough to slip your other hands into his sweats, giving him a teasing squeeze that his seems stars with how hard he's holding back from coming undone so embarrassingly soon.
"Oh, fuck," a deep groan rumbles with his chest when you squeeze him again, "Wait, baby, I can't. I don't got a condom on me," he grabs your wrist to stop you, "Just let me make you feel good okay? Let tonight be all about you." He tries to coax you, his hand leaving your wrist to bring the attention back to your cunt when you swat his hand away. He pouts, confused as he watches you pull your white tee off and reach into your bra to grab a condom out it.
His eyes narrow at you, "Why the hell do you have that there?"
You huff, the jealousy in his tone not getting past you, "Don't ask what you don't wanna know, Barnes."
Whether or not he wants to pry into that detail, you don't let him. Making his breath catch in his throat as you tear the condom wrapper with your teethâan action he found incredibly hot.
He takes himself out of his sweats, squeezing the base of his cock to get himself under control. He's already leaking as you hastily roll the condom down his length. You're getting yourself into position when he stops you. Your gazes meet, a questioning look in your eyes. "You sure about this? We can stop if you're not. It's okay." He assures you, needing you to confirm you really want this. When you realize what he's asking, you smile at him. Taking his lips in a softer kiss, one that conveys how sure you are of this happening. "I'm sure, Bucky. I want this."
That's all Bucky needed to hear.
He rubs your folds through your panties a few more times before his fingers hook into the fabric of your panties and push them to the side. He helps guide himself inside you as you lower yourself down on him, inch by inch. "Baby, you're squeezing the hell outta meâfuck," he curses under his breath, urging you to take it slow. He hasn't told you, but it's been a long time since it's been anything other than his hand and him. And he feels every bit of that longing as your walls squeeze him tighter the more of him you take.
"Sweetheart, you gotta give me a minute. I can't. I don't want this to end so soon," he's pleading with you, breathing heavily as the need to thrust up into you gets harder to restrain. You cup his face, making sure he's staring right into your eyes as you lower yourself completely. His breath his hot against your mouth as he gasps, the sound turn into a moan the second you start riding him. Not giving him any time to adjust as if this were your way of getting payback for the way he pushed your buttons all night.
"Fuck, you feel so good," he grits out, guiding your hips with his hands to move you in ways that have you both moaning out for each other. Your arms wrap around his shoulders, pulling him in for a makeout that's all tongue and teethâmessy and passionate all in one. Breathing each other in like the only source of air you need can be found within each other. And that's when Bucky feels it again, his heart soaring with how right this feels, just like the first time you slept together.
"I missed you, Iâ" he mumbles into your lips, but when you pick up your pace, he forgets what he was going to say. You've got him pussy drunk and wrapped around your fingerâright where he wants to be.
He can tell he won't last much longer at this pace, and he needs you to come before he does. His hand goes to where you're connected, pressing circles onto your clit in the way he knows you like, making you mewl. "That's it baby, you're doing so good for me, pretty girl." His other hand grips you tighter, keeping you steady as he starts fucking up into you, meeting your hips. You whine at how deep he's going, one of your hands shooting out to the fogged up glass like that'll help anchor you. He can feel how close you are, so he doubles down, fucking up into you harder and increasing the pressure on your clit. "Come on, baby, give it to me. Let go, sweetheart, I got you," he whispers affectionately and wrecked, bringing you in for another kiss that undoes you. You come hard, crying out his name, and he follows suit, coming harder than he has in years. You got him seeing stars with the way your cunt squeezes him for all he's got.
You're both panting in the aftermath, his head resting against the backseat as he tries to catch his breath. Your head drops onto his shoulder, his hand gently rubbing at your back to help you with the aftershocks of your coupling. He kisses your temple reverently, whispering soft praises and sweet nothings as you both come down from your highs. For a few minutes, the car is quiet with a tranquility Bucky wasn't sure you two would ever get to again.
Your head rises from his shoulder, moments later, a dopey smile on your face. He laughs fondly, his hand rising to stroke your cheek affectionately, "You're so beautiful." He doesn't know if it's what he says or the way he said it, but your smile no longer reaches your eyes. It makes his heart squeeze in his chest uncomfortably.
"Everything okay?" He's looking you over to make sure you're okay, fearing he might've been a little rough with you. You clear your throat, wincing, "Yeah, it's justâI'm feeling a bit sure already." His eyes widen at that and he apologizes right away, helping you gently off of him as you both wince, sensitive at the disconnection.
You start redressing yourself, confusing him, but he didn't question you. He had hoped you two could stay together a little longer in the backseat, talk a few things out and just enjoy this pocket of happiness you had granted each other. But whatever spell you two were under seemed to be broken. And faster than Bucky could process it, you were already dressed and getting out of his car. He scrambled to clean himself up with what he had at his disposal, tucking himself back in his sweats and hastily slipping on his hoodie just as he heard the engine to your car turn on.
He gets out of his car, rushing over to you and knocking on the window for you to lower it. You do, staring at him in a way that he can't read, but it makes him uneasy nonetheless.
"You're leaving already?" Bucky can't hide the disappointment in his tone. You sigh, picking at a nonexistent thread on your jacket to keep your eyes somewhere that isn't on him. "I told you I have to return the car to Rumlow, it's not mine. He's got trackers on all his cars, so I have to return it before he comes looking for it."
"I can go withâ"
"No, you'd only make things worse for me, okay? It's best if you just stay out of this."
He can't accept that, leaving you to deal with this on your own. Especially after being the only one who knows exactly how much trouble you're in. "I dont know how to help you, but I want to. Maybe I can't help, but maybe I can find someone who can."
"No, Bucky, just drop it," your tone made it clear you weren't budging from this. And maybe he couldn't make you budge on this now, but later, later he could fully convince you to let him help. "Fine, I willâfor now. But, there's still some stuff I want to talk about," you give him a look and he's quick to dispel your apprehension, "Not now, I know you have to go. But later I'd like to have a proper talk. About us."
Something about you changes in this moment. Bucky can almost see it in the way you straighten up in the driver's seat, in the way your eyes glaze over with something deeply broken crawling it's way to the surface. Something meant to hurt him just as badly as he once hurt you.
"Us? Bucky, there is no us. Tonight⌠you were just an itch I had to scratch. Something I had to get out of my system, so thanks for that," your voice doesn't sound like your own when you say that. It sounds distant and cold, like you're trying your best to keep yourself together. However, the way in which you said certain things rings alarms bells inside his head. He's barley able to stutter out a reply when you pull back and drive off, leaving him in the dust of the engine fumes.
Those words. He's heard them before, but not from you, no, from his own mouth. He's replayed those words time and time again in his mind for the last six years. The things he once said to Sam way back then when he stupidly was trying to deny how he felt about you. You used those exact words against him tonight. It dawns on him, horrifically, that you heard him say that back then. Your anger and frustrationâthe heartbreak of that morning. It came from you thinking you weren't anything, but a one night stand for him.
And now youd done the same thing to him, as if trying to make things even. Maybe you had.
Bucky slumps against his car, sliding down it until he hits the floor. Pieces of a puzzle he could never solve slowly start clicking together until he gets a better picture of what happened. He had messed everything up like he feared he would. And it wasn't something he had done, it was something he had said. He wanted to kick himself for ever saying those things. If you were still angry at him all these years later, then you must have not heard the rest of the conversation. You only heard the part that broke your heart and made you hate him all this time.
Was there ever a possibility you would forgive him?
Could you forgive him?
Bucky doesn't know the answers to those questions, but what he does know is that he won't find out unless he tries to earn it.
a/n Well my darling barbies, you now have a choice to make. If you decide to not forgive Bucky, then your story ends here. If you decide to give him a second chance, then you're in luck! A part two is already in the works. Once again, comments and reblogs are so appreciated! âĄâĄâĄ
bucky's dreamhouse | bucky masterlist | main masterlist | purple divider by @/cursed-carmine ÝââË.â
SO GOOD đ¤đ¤ I canât wait for part two đ¤đ¤
Tangled (#3)
Pairing: Cecaelia! Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Warnings: 18+ only. Slight Angst. Fluff. Slow Burn. I don't know if there will be eventual teratophilia.
Summary: Between fear and fascination, a solitary creature struggles to protect his hidden world -and himself- after an unexpected encounter with a curious human woman makes him question everything he thought he knew about trust, danger, and boundaries.
Word Count: About 6.9k.
Previous Chapter - Masterlist
The sea was dark and quiet, just as he liked it. The moon carved silver shapes on the surface, and below, he moved like a shadow, gliding through the currents. His muscles were relaxed after the hunt, and the taste of salt and blood was still sharp in his mouth.
But as always lately, his course curved toward the cliffs, toward the stretch of shoreline he shouldn't care about. His sharp eyes caught the faint glimmer of warm, golden lights breaking through the dark, leaking out from the lair perched above the rocks.
So. She was awake.
Bucky floated just under the surface for a long moment, and his tendrils gently shifted with the waves as he watched the flicker of the soft lights.
His gaze narrowed.
Why did he care? Why was he here, lingering under her cliffs like some lost pup?
But he couldn't shake it. Since the first time she sat by his shore, and even more, since sheâd seen him -since sheâd survived him- there was a thread of restless curiosity winding tighter and tighter around him.
She had been brave. Stupid, but brave. And now, against his better judgment, he was curious about her.
He shifted in the water, and his pale skin blended almost perfectly with the foam around him, only the inky tips of his tendrils betrayed his shape as they rippled through the waves.
His gaze lifted again toward her den.
There was where she hid when she left his cave. He had guessed, of course, watching the path she took to climb back up, sometimes seeing her form disappear behind the shrubs and stones. But now, seeing the lights, the proof of her human life so close to his domain, it tugged at something inside him he didn't want to name.
Why do you watch, like sheâs yours to guard?
He huffed at himself, and the sound was swallowed by the wind over the waves.
Maybe it was because she had left something of herself in his cave, two somethings now, the odd square and that strange dangling creature of yarn, bobbing gently with the sea breeze.
Still, he shouldâve scared her worse. Shouldâve made sure she wouldnât dare return.
But he hadnât.
Because a part of him -the part that remembered too well what it was to be caged and hunted and scared- understood why she looked at him the way she did.
His gaze hardened again as he let himself sink deeper under the surface.
She wasnât safe, lingering so close to his cave. And neither was he letting her. Still, he couldnât quite make himself turn away, lingering there, watching the light dance on the cliffside, imagining her moving around behind those windows.
Finally, with a low rumble deep in his chest, he turned, cutting through the water and vanishing into the dark, but not before one last glance over his shoulder.
She was there. Still within reach.
And that thought should not make him feel anything.
Yet it did.
----
The morning air was cold as she made her way down the narrow road toward town, and the sea breeze still clung to her clothes and hair from the walk. Her muscles ached faintly, a reminder of the other dayâs fall, and of everything that had happened after. She tried to tell herself it had been some kind of dream. Maybe she had hit her head harder than she thought.
So, today, groceries. Normal things. Things that didnât include staring into dark pools and meeting mythological creatures.
And yet, as she passed by the tiny, cluttered craft shop, her feet slowed almost on their own, and her eyes flicked to the display window. There it was. That particular shade of blue, the color of shifting tides and ink-dark tentacles. She stepped in, the tiny bell above the door giving a cheerful chime that felt at odds with her thoughts.
"Back so soon, dear?" the old woman behind the counter asked, peering at her over her glasses with a knowing smile.
"Yeah," she said, managing to sound casual. "Ran out of some shades I need. And, uh, thought I might try something new."
The woman hummed, watching her too closely as she plucked up the skein of blue yarn. As she paid, she hesitated, then leaned her elbows on the counter, trying to keep her tone light.
"So⌠that cave by the cliffs," she began, letting her gaze wander to the dusty shelves as if she wasnât too invested. "You told me to be careful around there, right?"
The womanâs eyes sharpened immediately, all pretense of nonchalance gone. "Mhm. And?"
She shrugged. "Just curious why. I mean, itâs a nice spot. A little wild, but⌠safe enough. So why the warnings?"
The woman leaned in, dropping her voice slightly. "Because nice spots sometimes hide the worst things, that's why."
She blinked, raising her brows. "What do you mean? Like, dangerous animals?"
The woman gave a short, humorless laugh. "Not animals, girl. Things older than that. Things that donât take kindly to strangers poking around where they shouldnât."
She felt her throat go dry but pressed on, giving a small laugh, trying to sound like she wasnât fishing for specific information. "You make it sound like there are sea monsters down there or something."
The old womanâs gaze didnât waver. "Thatâs what some would call them, I suppose."
Her fingers tightened around the paper bag as she straightened. "Monsters?"
"Old stories," the woman admitted, but her tone said she believed every word. "About creatures in the caves under the cliffs. I was a girl when some of the older men swore they caught sight of something down there. They never spoke much about what they saw, but..." She gave a meaningful pause. "People talked. About things that werenât quite human. About folks who went missing near the water. Strange marks on the rocks, long grooves like claws or something worse."
Her heart gave a slow, heavy thump.
"Of course," the woman added, softer now, "the men who told those stories are gone. Some think they just drank too much. But othersâŚ" her eyes pinned her in place "know better."
"So... what? You think somethingâs still down there?"
"Mhm," the woman hummed, leaning a little over the counter, lowering her voice like someone might be listening. "Not just of creatures in the water, but of them coming up to shore. Walking around on two legs, like you or me. Posing as human. Youâd never know, they say. Not unless you catch them wrong, or see 'em too close."
Her throat dried.
The woman gave a small, almost knowing smile, as if she had seen too much, or heard too many things that didnât add up over the years. "Some say theyâve even lived among us from time to time. Took wives. Husbands. Some of those folks didnât last long. OthersâŚ" she trailed off, her eyes darkening, "...never quite right again."
She tried to laugh it off, though it sounded thin. "You mean like⌠selkies? Mermaids?"
"Not like the pretty stories," the woman snapped gently, but firmly. "Not those sweet things in fairy tales. They donât want to be found."
Her heart thudded hard in her chest.
As the silence stretched, she forced a small smile. "Right. Well... thanks. Iâll keep that in mind."
The womanâs gaze persisted on her, as if she wanted to say more, but she simply nodded. "You do that."
With a soft murmur of goodbye, she left, the bell chiming behind her as she stepped out into the open air.
Her feet carried her through town on autopilot, but her mind was spinning. They donât want to be found. The words echoed in her head, loud and clear.
As she made her way down the next street, she ducked into a small general store to pick up candles, she had learned the hard way during her first week that power outages happened more often than she expected near the cliffs. And with her luck lately, she'd rather be prepared.
She grabbed a few groceries as well -easy stuff to cook, snacks, tea- anything to avoid another trip for a while. Her thoughts stayed fixed on what she now knew as she checked out and carried her bags toward home.
----
Bucky was already at the shoreline when she arrived a couple of days later. He had waited, half-expecting -half-daring- her to show up at his cave one of those mornings. But clearly, she wasn't that foolish.
Still, foolish enough to eventually come back. To her usual rock, as if nothing had happened.
By the time she reached her usual spot, her mind was made up. She wasnât going to give up her place by the rocks. It was her spot. Well, maybe not technically, but she had been coming here since she moved into that cottage, snd he hadnât seemed to mind.
It was only when she wandered into the cave -his space- that things had escalated. She could admit that now. She had trespassed. And still, in the end, he hadnât hurt her.
So, her logic went: if she stuck to her usual routine and didnât go poking around in places she shouldnât, she had nothing to worry about.
Right?
Still⌠she packed carefully before leaving the house. Her yarn, of course -and, after some internal debate- a box of strawberries.
And now, here she was, sitting on her usual rock like she hadnât had the weirdest, most terrifying, most fascinating encounter of her life less than one week ago.
Hidden among the darker shadows of the stones, he watched her settle down, expecting her to start with her usual threading ritual. But instead, she pulled something unfamiliar from her backpack, some kind of translucent box that strangely caught the light. He narrowed his eyes as she popped it open and reached in, plucking something small and red.
His head tilted slightly as she bit into it, chewing slowly, with her gaze fixed on the waves. Meat? He sniffed the air. No, not flesh. It looked like some strange kind of coral, but soft... not from the sea. The scent carried to him on the breeze, sweet and sharp, something he couldn't place. Inland fruit? Something that grew in the dirt, far from his world.
He kept staring as she bit into it, juices wetting her lips, as her eyes lazily followed the waves without any care in the world. But then, damn that sun. He was being reckless. A cloud slid aside and a beam of golden light poured down, catching him squarely and turning his pale skin stark against the stone before he could shift his pigments.
Her eyes snapped to him, and for the first time, she didnât pretend not to see.
She stared right back, unwavering, like she had half expected him. And then, casually as if they were old neighbors passing each other on the street, she waved again.
His throat rumbled, and a low hiss slipped through bared teeth before he could stop it, flashing the sharp glint of fangs.
But instead of recoiling or fleeing like she should, she just rolled her eyes, as if he was nothing more than some territorial gull trying to scare her off. A very dangerous, very deadly gull, but still.
Then, to his confusion, she lifted the container and tilted it toward him, as if offering to share its contents. He didnât move from his place, half-coiled near the rocks, eyes sharp and narrowed as he stared at her, unmoving.
Still, some small, stubborn part of him, buried deep under layers of instinct and distrust, couldnât help but feel... curious.
âThey are good, you know? No spells or tricks, since Iâm already eating them,â she said casually, her voice carried by the breeze, soft and calm, too calm for someone talking to a creature like him.
Buckyâs jaw tensed. His sharp teeth pressed lightly against each other as he stared at her, unmoving, suspicious.
No spells or tricks, she claimed.
As if he should just believe that. As if she hadn't already wandered too close, already seen too much.
To her surprise -and, okay, maybe a little bit to her terror- he started moving.
Slow, deliberate. Tendrils sliding over rocks in smooth, predatory grace. Getting closer. She fought the urge to scoot back, refusing to let fear dictate her actions. This was a game of trust now, wasnât it? He hadnât hurt her when he could have. And she had kept his secret.
She tilted her head at him when he stopped, popping another piece of the red thing into her mouth, watching him with an unfazed expression. Like she thought offering him this strange food would be enough to pacify him.
And yet...
The scent wafted toward him again. Sweet, sharp, foreign. It was tempting. Not because he trusted her, but because he had never seen something like it. Never tasted anything that didnât come from the ocean depths.
Every instinct in his body screamed danger, screamed that this was a trap, that humans never offered something for free unless they wanted something in return. His narrowed gaze slipped from her mouth to the box, to her hands. If she wanted to trick him, she wouldnât be sitting there like that... right?
A quiet, annoyed hiss slid past his teeth. He could take her down in an instant if she tried anything. Crush her fragile body, pull her under the water, and let the waves claim her before anyone knew.
So why was he hesitating?
He pushed forward, slow and deliberate. First, a tendril, curling over a stone. Then another, pulling him closer with a smooth, powerful movement. The closer he got, the more she tensed -he could feel it- but she didnât move away.
A small, reckless part of him found that amusing.
The water lapped quietly against the rocks, and he paused just a few feet away, looming half out of the water, with his tendrils sliding in the wet sand and over the stone. His pale chest glistened where droplets clung to his skin, and his dark hair hung heavy and wild over his shoulders.
He looked from her face to the box again, narrowing his eyes.
âWhat is it?â he rasped, low and rough from the disuse of his voice, but the words were clear enough.
She blinked, surprised that he spoke, but then smiled just a little.
âStrawberries,â she said softly, holding one up for him to see. âTheyâre fruit. Sweet.â
He stared. Fruit. Something from the land...
He shifted closer still, curling his tendril around the rock at her feet, flicking his sharp eyes between her hand and her face as if daring her to move wrong.
ââŚTry?â she offered, gently.
His gills flexed along his ribs, unsure. But he was closer now. And he was already here. A long pause, then one pale hand reached out, and plucked the small red thing from her fingers, careful not to graze her skin, though his knuckles brushed her wrist like the brush of seaweed in passing.
He held it up to his face, inspecting it, sniffing it warily. Soft. Strange. Smelled like nothing from the sea. Still watching her from the corner of his eye, he slowly brought it to his mouth and bit, sharp teeth slicing easily through the tender fruit.
Sweet. Tart. Strange.
His brows furrowed slightly, as though confused. But he didn't spit it out. He ate it quietly, and sat back on his tendrils, as though deciding whether he liked it or not. When he swallowed, his dark eyes returned to hers, searching.
ââŚMore,â he finally said, rough, reluctant.
Her lips twitched in the faintest smile. âSure,â she said, nudging the box toward him.
He took another, slower this time, watching her like a hawk. Because she was dangerous. He knew that. But, so was he.
----
He ate three more, and she began to wonder if maybe it hadnât been such a good idea to offer him fruit in the first place. After all, she had no clue what his body could handle. His digestive system couldnât possibly be the same as a humanâs, what if too much made him sick?
"Um... maybe that's enough for now," she said carefully.
His eyes snapped to hers, narrowing in a way that sent a chill down her spine. As if to challenge her, he deliberately plucked another one from the container and ate it, watching her like he was daring her to object.
"You may get sick," she tried again, frowning a little.
The moment the words left her lips, she saw his entire demeanor shift. His expression darkened, storm clouds gathering behind his eyes, and one of his tentacles smacked the water with a sharp thwap, making her flinch.
Clearly, he had taken that as a threat.
"No, wait! I'm not threatening you," she quickly clarified, raising her hands in a calming gesture. "Youâve never eaten this before... Iâm just saying, maybe if you eat too much, it could..." she hesitated, searching for a word, "...hurt you."
His gaze focused on her, unblinking. She could almost feel him analyzing her words, weighing them.
Then, to her surprise, he pressed a hand to his stomach as if considering her warning. "Bad?" he asked, voice rough and uncertain.
She relaxed with some relief when she realized he wasn't angry anymore, just wary, like a wild animal trying to figure out if she was lying. "Maybe," she said softly. "I'm sorry. I didn't think about it when I offered. I guess I thought... I don't know, some pet fish eat fruit..."
Her attempt at explanation was met with a sudden outrage.
"No fish!" he snapped, slapping a hand hard against his chest in an unmistakable display of indignation. His eyes blazed, and he leaned forward like she had insulted him on a deeply personal level.
"Okay! Okay!" she blurted out quickly, raising her palms in surrender. "You're not a fish. Definitely not a fish.â
He kept glaring at her for another long second, as if making sure she understood the gravity of her mistake.
"I'm sorry," she added, softening her voice. "I didnât mean to offend you. I just... I donât know what you eat."
That seemed to deflate some of the tension. He clicked his teeth, almost thoughtfully, though she could see how his fingers kept turning the last berry over and over, inspecting it like it might reveal a secret.
"You eat...?" she asked, carefully, realizing it might be a loaded question.
He didn't answer right away, but his eyes sharpened, reading her easily, as though he could see the direction of her thoughts.
"Hunt," he finally grunted, jerking his chin toward the sea. "Meat."
Yeah. She had figured that much, but hearing him say it so bluntly still made her pulse jump a little.
"I just thought..." she tried to clarify, gesturing to the almost empty container of fruit. "Too much of this could make you feel bad. It's not meat. Itâs fruit. A plant."
He seemed to consider that, glancing down at the berry he still held. With a low grunt, he flicked it into the water, watching as it bobbed away.
"Good," he muttered at last as if grudgingly admitting it.
Then he fixed her with a sharp look, touching his chest, and repeating firmly, "Not fish."
Her lips twitched in a faint smile. "No. Not a fish."
Something in his expression shifted, softening slightly, not quite a smile, but something that hinted at less hostility.
----
They looked at each other in silence, a strange quiet that neither seemed to know how to break. His eyes never left her, sharp and assessing, while her fingers fidgeted with the edge of the container, unsure of what to say next. Then, suddenly, something clicked in her mind. A small revelation that maybe, maybe, could help bridge the strange gap between them.
His eyes flicked from her hand to her face, confused.
She gave him her name and extended her hand toward him, palm up, in a soft, tentative gesture that made him tense immediately, tendrils twitching warily against the rocks.
"You're supposed to give me your name and shake my hand," she added with a small, nervous smile. "It's how we... humans, you know, introduce ourselves. To say we're not enemies."
Still, he didn't move. His gaze dropped back to her hand, watching it like it was a trap, like if he touched her, she would somehow bind him with her strange land-dweller magic.
She could see him thinking, the way his jaw tightened, how his pupils thinned as though weighing something dangerous. Names, she realized, were probably no small thing to him. Names held meaning. Names gave power.
But... she had given hers freely. She watched as slowly, very slowly, he seemed to come to a decision.
His hand, larger and rougher than hers, reached out. He wrapped his cool fingers around her smaller hand with a carefulness that surprised her, as though unsure how much strength to use.
"...Bucky," he murmured at last, voice hoarse and reluctant.
Her smile brightened, though she kept still, not wanting to spook him. "Hi, Bucky," she said softly, like a small victory.
He gave her hand a single, brief shake -awkward and stiff, but it was more than she thought she would get- before pulling away again, retreating slightly like he was unsure why he had agreed to it the first place.
"So..." she ventured, cautious but curious. "Thatâs how we do it. But what about you? How do your kind greet each other?"
For a moment, his brow furrowed, and the sharp line of his jaw tightened as if the question brought something heavy to mind. His kind. It had been so long since he'd seen anyone like himself if any were left at all. Still, after a moment of silence, he moved.
Slowly and deliberately, Bucky lifted his hand and pressed the palm gently to his chin, fingers brushing along the line of his jaw. Then he turned the hand outward, offering it to her, open.
She blinked, watching the fluid motion with growing fascination.
"Oh," she murmured softly, processing it. "Like this?"
She mirrored the gesture, touching her chin and then extending her palm toward him. A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips, almost playful but respectful.
His sharp eyes studied her, tilting his head slightly as if appraising her effort. Then, to her quiet surprise, the tension in his posture seemed to ease. They had shared something. Something old, something from his world.
Bucky gave a small, almost imperceptible nod of approval, though his tendrils still curled and flexed over the rock like restless cats' tails.
She let the silence stretch a little longer, watching as his gaze flicked out toward the horizon, where the sun was dipping low and painting gold over the waves.
"So... Bucky," she ventured softly, careful not to spook him, "how long have you... um, lived here?"
His eyes snapped back to her, sharp and unreadable. The question seemed simple, but something in it made him tense, tendrils pausing their slow movements. Still, he tried. His jaw worked for a moment before he rasped out, "Long."
She nodded, encouraging. "Long like... a lot of years?"
His brow furrowed, and his lips pressed into a tight line. His hand came up, spreading his fingers as if trying to measure something in the air before giving up with a small frustrated snort.
"Before," he said at last, voice rough. "Before... them."
Her brows drew together, but she didn't press on that yet. Instead, she offered a soft smile. "Okay. Before. Got it."
He watched her, weary, but there was a faint sense of surprise too, like he hadn't expected her to accept so little.
She decided to keep it light. "Do you always watch people from the water? Or am I just special?" she teased gently, tilting her head, trying to coax some response.
His eyes narrowed a bit, but not in anger, more like confusion, as if unsure if she was mocking him. "Watch," he said simply, tapping two fingers under his eye, then gesturing at her. "You... strange."
Her laugh escaped before she could stop it, light and breathy. "I'm strange?"
He tilted his head again, tendrils curling a bit tighter. "Sit alone. By sea. Make... things." His eyes flicked toward her bag, where her yarn peeked out.
"Oh... the crocheting." She smiled and reached to pull out a small ball of yarn, holding it up. "Yeah, I guess that's strange. Most people donât hang out near creepy caves and make jellyfish coasters."
Buckyâs gaze followed her fingers, watching the yarn, but he didn't respond. His hands flexed slightly, and she wondered if it was nerves or restlessness.
"Why?" he asked abruptly, startling her a little.
"Why what?"
"Why... here?" His voice was low, and rough, as if dragging words up from somewhere deep and unused.
She blinked, then smiled softly, realizing this was the closest thing to an actual conversation they had.
"I like the sound of the sea," she admitted. "Itâs... peaceful. Easier to breathe out here."
His head tilted again, studying her like she was a puzzle.
She took a breath, feeling a little braver. "And you? Why do you watch me?"
He hesitated. His lips twitched, but no words came out. After a moment, he glanced away, as if embarrassed. "Donât know," he muttered finally waving his hand. "You... stay."
She blinked, unsure what to make of that. "Yeah... I stay," she echoed gently, offering him a small smile. "You noticed that, huh?" She hesitated, but curiosity pushed her forward. "Bucky... what do you call yourselves? Your kind, I mean. Not what humans say."
His expression darkened instantly, sharp as a blade. The calm manner in which heâd been watching her moments ago turned to something heavier, and his mouth pressed into a tight line.
"You call... ce-cecaelia," he said finally, like forcing the word out.
"Yeah, I know," she pressed gently, tilting her head, carefully. "But you. What do you call yourselves?"
For a heartbeat, she thought he might answer. His eyes flicked away, toward the water, the tendrils around him curling tighter, restless. Then, sharp and clipped, he growled.
"No."
The word cut through the air like a slap.
She froze, watching as his body tensed, and a storm brewed behind his eyes again. His gaze flicked back to her, colder now, as if warning her off the subject.
"Okay," she said quickly, lifting her hands in a soft gesture of surrender. "Okay. I wonât ask again."
The tension in his arms eased just a fraction, but the wall between them had been reinforced.
She sighed, realizing that, as much as they were starting to see each other, there were still oceans of distance between them.
Still, she stayed. And he didnât make her leave.
----
"Well..." she said softly, reaching for her bag, "Iâll just work a little before I go."
Her voice was light, like she wasnât sitting a few feet away from a dangerous creature, a creature who had just reminded her how little she knew about him and how much he could hide.
She pulled out her yarn and hook, choosing a soft neutral color this time, and set to work. Simple coasters, nothing fancy. Something she didnât need to think too hard about, letting her hands work while her mind stayed alert to the figure near the rocks.
Bucky stayed where he was, watching her.
Conflicted.
Part of him felt⌠oddly disappointed. She was ignoring him now, turning away as if she didnât care to know more. Well, it was him who made it happen. The questions stirred things in him he wasnât ready to face. Memories that were better left at the bottom of the sea.
He couldnât take his eyes off her. Her hands moved gently, with a cadence that was almost⌠calming. Familiar, even, in a way that tugged at something deep in his chest.
He didnât realize how close heâd gotten until a stray tendril brushed the edge of her bag, curling just slightly before he snapped it back with a small flick.
She glanced at him from the corner of her eye but said nothing, as if pretending she hadnât noticed.
Good.
He wasnât sure he was ready to explain what he was doing there, watching her, hovering like some unsure shadow. Still, when her hands stilled for a moment to adjust the yarn, his eyes locked on them, fascinated despite himself.
So strange, these human rituals. But soothing to watch.
She felt it before she saw it, that subtle shift of the air, the faint scent of brine and salt-soaked skin. When she lifted her head, his face was right there, startlingly close, watching her hands work with a mix of curiosity and frustration.
Her breath hitched, and she blinked up at him, momentarily caught off guard by his nearness.
His gaze flicked from her eyes to her hands, then back again, and after a long pause, he tilted his head slightly and gestured at the yarn with a tendril that curled in the air, hesitant.
"...What?" he rasped.
"This?" she asked gently, holding up her half-finished piece so he could see.
He gave a sharp, impatient nod.
She smiled. "Itâs a coaster. Something you put under a cup. To protect tables and stuff."
His brow furrowed. "Cup?"
She blinked, realizing that might not be something he had. "Um... to drink from?" She mimed holding a glass to her lips.
Understanding flickered in his eyes, though he still looked faintly puzzled.
She chuckled softly, glancing down at her work. "It's just... something small. Easy to make. Not dangerous, I promise."
He leaned in a little closer, inspecting it now, shifting his tendrils restlessly on the rocks beside her as if wanting to reach but not daring. For a long moment, he just stared at the piece of yarn art in her hands. Then, as if pronouncing the word was a battle, he murmured, "...Pretty."
Her eyes widened slightly, heat blooming in her cheeks at the unexpected compliment, or at least, what felt like one.
"Thanks," she whispered, meeting his gaze again, softer now.
His shoulders tensed, as though realizing he'd revealed too much, and he sat back a little, though not enough to create real distance. His eyes stayed on her hands, watching every movement like he was trying to decipher a language he used to know and had long forgotten.
"Want me to make you one?" she asked quietly, half-teasing but also a little serious, remembering what transpired in the cave.
At first, he didnât seem to react to her offer. His gaze stayed fixed on her hands, following the slow dance of her fingers over the yarn. She thought he might not have understood, or maybe he just didnât care.
But then, almost reluctantly, he gave a small nod. "Yes.â
She blinked, a little surprised. "Alright," she murmured, smiling faintly, "I'll make one for you."
As she worked, looping and pulling the yarn, she felt him shift beside her, and out of the corner of her eye, she caught the slow, deliberate motion of his tendrils stretching along the rocks.
At first, she thought he was just getting comfortable. But as minutes passed, she realized his long, powerful limbs were spreading out in a wide circle, inching their way around her. By the time she dared to glance up at him again, she realized she was nearly surrounded.
His tentacles lay sprawled on the rocky floor, not quite touching her, but close enough that she could feel the cool, coming off them. Like a living fence, fluid and silent, encircling her while she worked.
She swallowed, trying to keep her hands firm. "You are really into ignoring personal space, huh?" she muttered, half to herself, though her voice came out a bit more breathless than she wanted.
His eyes flicked to hers, tilting his head slightly, as if not understanding. Then, he just kept watching, unmoving, while his tendrils coiled loosely, some of them draping over the rocks just inches from her legs.
She licked her lips, glancing at his face. His expression was calm. Intense, yes, but not hostile. More like⌠he was studying her.
Letting out a quiet breath, she focused back on her work. "Okay, big guy," she whispered under her breath. She tried to keep her breathing calm, moving her fingers carefully as she worked, but he was impossible to ignore.
Her eyes flicked sideways again, taking in the way one thick tendril coiled lazily around a jutting rock, as the tip twitched slightly like it had a mind of its own. Another rested just near her ankle, close enough that if she shifted even a little, sheâd brush against it. 'Okay... stay calm', she thought, focusing on looping the yarn, 'he hasnât hurt you. He let you go from the cave, remember?'
After a while, she dared to lift her head, only to find that his face was much closer than before. Close enough that she could see the little constellation of freckles scattered on his cheek near his ear, the slight shimmer of seawater still clinging to his skin, and the way his eyes -sharp, intense, and curious- searched hers for something. Her breath caught for a second, and she instinctively leaned back, only to realize there wasnât much room left behind her.
His tendrils sprawled wide, blocking most of her easy escape paths. "It seems you got all comfortable," she commented with a nervous little smile curling her lips. Still no answer. Just that sharp, unreadable gaze. "Okay then..." she whispered, returning her focus to the coaster, though her fingers stumbled once before picking up their rhythm again.
----
What she didnât know was that, for once, he was content. Or as close to content as he could remember being.
Because she was making something for him, without him asking, without him demanding it. She had offered. And that small gesture of willful giving, rather than fearful compliance, stirred something in him he hadnât felt in a long time.
He told himself it was just boredom. Just curiosity. It had been so long since he spoke to anyone, even longer since anyone sat near him like this, acting like he was something other than a monster, even his own kind. Sadly, she was human. Fragile. Foolish.
Still, there was something about her that pulled him, like puzzle he couldnât quite solve. A part of it was her scent. Something that made his senses prick with restless curiosity. He tilted his head slightly, watching her hands move with that odd grace over the yarn before something in him decided he needed to understand what that scent was.
So he did what felt natural to him, he leaned in, slow but deliberate, until his nose was just a breath away from her head, inhaling deeply.
The reaction was instant.
She jolted with a startled gasp. His own reaction was just as quick, pure instinct snapping into place, tendrils shooting forward to wrap firmly around her wrists, pinning them against the rocky surface before she could even think to pull away.
For a moment, neither of them moved.
Her breath came fast, her heart pounded under her skin, and his grip tightened fractionally before he realized what he was doing.
Narrowing his eyes, he growled lowly -more at himself than at her- but didnât release her immediately. Instead, he watched her face closely, as if searching for something in her wide, surprised eyes.
"...sorry," she breathed out, though she wasnât sure why she was apologizing when he was the one with the tentacles wrapped around her wrists.
Her voice seemed to break through whatever fog had overtaken him. Slowly, reluctantly, the tendrils loosened and slid away, though they remained close, coiled with barely restrained tension.
"You startled me," she managed to say. "Getting that close suddenly without warning." she exhaled sharply, shaking her head.
He tilted his head slightly as if weighing her words, and something about her tone seemed to click in his mind. She could see it in the way his shoulders loosened a bit like he understood, and let her wrists go.
"Alright," she sighed, glancing at him sideways. "But what⌠what were you trying to do, anyway?"
For a moment, he looked like a child caught with his hand in a jar, a flash of something vulnerable crossing his features before he quickly masked it, trying to appear unaffected.
He raised a hand, almost stiffly, and gestured to his temple. "Scent," he said simply, watching her closely for her reaction.
"Oh," she breathed out. Okay⌠scent. That made sense. A lot of animals use scent to learn things about others. Maybe his kind did too. She blinked at him, then offered a small, almost amused smile. "Alright, I get it. Scent is important."
He seemed to relax a fraction more, but there was still a tense curiosity in the way he held himself, waiting to see if she'd bolt or scold him again.
She tilted her head slightly in thought, looking at him, then -deciding to leap- she reached up, sweeping her hair to one side and exposing the curve of her neck. "Well⌠now that Iâm aware of your intentions," she said lightly, quirking her lips into a half-smile, "do you wanna try again?"
The offer clearly caught him off-guard.
His eyes widened, and his pupils dilated slightly, and, for a heartbeat, he didnât move. Watching her like she was some strange, fascinating thing.
What she didn't realize, was that to him, this wasnât just an invitation. The way she tilted her head, exposing her throat so casually, and shifting her hair aside, was a gesture of trust and vulnerability. And, among his kind, a subtle but unmistakable signal of courtship, offering one's scent in a way that said look at me, know me, choose me.
His teeth clicked together once, a sharp little sound he barely managed to suppress.
She caught the sound and blinked, uncertain. "What?"
He shook his head quickly, though his eyes were still locked on the tender skin of her neck. Slowly, as if testing how far she would let him go, he leaned in again. This time, there was a different air in his movements, they were careful, deliberate. His breath ghosted over her skin as he inhaled, and one of his hands, hovered like he was tempted to grab her but didnât dare.
She swallowed and felt her pulse fluttering fast under his gaze.
His nose brushed lightly against her neck as he drew in another breath, slower this time. When he pulled back, his eyes had softened just a little, though they were still sharp, and curious and there was something else, something she couldnât quite read.
She let out a slow breath she hadnât realized she was holding.
"Better?" she asked, a little breathless.
He nodded once, never breaking the eye contact.
"Better," he echoed, low and rough.
She exhaled slowly, toying absentmindedly with the yarn in her lap, but her mind was already spinning with the moment they had just shared. Then, before she could think better of it, she found herself saying, "Well⌠since you got to smell me, I think it's only fair I get to do the same."
His eyes widened, blinking at her like he wasnât sure he heard right.
"I meanâŚ" she shrugged, a crooked little smile pulled at her lips. "Seems like the polite thing to do, right?"
He stiffened. His head tilted slightly, with a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes.
She noticed it, of course. "What?" she asked, teasing to soften the moment. "Are you scared?"
At that, his gaze snapped back to hers, sharp and narrowed. "No," he grunted, frowning, but there was a flicker of something else.
She leaned a little closer, amused now, "Câmon⌠itâs only fair," she said softly, holding his gaze. "I let you get this close, didnât I?" She gestured to her neck, and her cheeks warmed at the memory of his breath ghosting over her skin. "Itâs not like Iâm gonna bite you."
He huffed through his nose and then, with an almost reluctant grumble, he shifted closer, but slower this time.
She smiled gently, trying not to startle him. "Okay⌠your turn," she whispered, as if speaking too loudly would shatter whatever fragile thing had formed between them.
Tentatively, he tipped his head forward, lowering himself just enough for her to reach. His hair was still damp, smelling faintly of salt and something sharper, darker, like deep water and stormy tides.
She hesitated for a moment, but curiosity got the better of her. She leaned in, mimicking what he had done, and inhaled gently near the side of his neck, careful not to touch him. The scent was strange but not unpleasant, wild and raw but surprisingly human.
When she pulled back, she smiled, tilting her head. "See? Not so bad. It was the fair thing to do, after all."
He stared at her, with unreadable eyes. Then he nodded, the smallest of motions. "Fair," he murmured.
She chuckled, and that seemed to make him relax just a fraction. Inside though, her heart was still racing, because she couldnât ignore the way something electric had passed between them, something unsaid but very tangible.
And it seemed neither of them quite knew what to do with it.
Next Chapter
Taglist: @civilbucky @thatesqcrush @lonelyghosts-stuff @x-press-it @the-voice-beckons-below @angelilacsworld @dollface-xoxo @mcira @lazyneonrabbitt @vxllys @namjoohnie @sebastians-love
dividers: @/kaitsawamura
So precious these two đ¤đ¤ I love the unintentional courtship moment đ¤đ¤
Tangled (#2)
Pairing: Cecaelia! Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Warnings: 18+ only. Slight Angst. Fluff. Slow Burn. Eventual teratophilia.
Summary: Between fear and fascination, a solitary creature struggles to protect his hidden world -and himself- after an unexpected encounter with a curious human woman makes him question everything he thought he knew about trust, danger, and boundaries.
Word Count: About 6.5k.
note: The Cecaelia is a mythical creature that's half-man, half-octopus, and that was the winning result of the poll about what kind of creature would be merman!Bucky. So yeah.
Previous Chapter - Masterlist
The next morning, she decided to switch things up. Maybe, going earlier would save her from another weird staring contest with the stranger from yesterday. So she packed her usual things -her project, a thermos, a snack- and threw on a light jacket before heading out. The air was crisp and salty, the sun still low and soft on the horizon, casting everything in golden light.
By the time she made it to her spot by the rocks, she was greeted by two small but satisfying victories.
First: no sign of him.
Second: the tide was low.
Very low.
The mouth of the cave yawned open before her, dark, cool, and tempting. She stood there for a moment, just listening to the rhythmic hush of the waves and the soft cries of seabirds above. The breeze tugged playfully at her hair as she scanned the shoreline, confirming what she had suspected, the tide was still receding. She had time.
Her gaze flicked back to the cave.
Maybe⌠she could finally take a proper look inside. If the locals were so set on being cryptic about the place, well, she could see for herself what the fuss was about.
Adjusting the straps of her backpack, she made her way carefully across the rocky terrain, taking her time to step only on firm, dry stones. Her shoes crunched softly against the pebbles as she went, and when she reached the caveâs entrance, she hesitated only briefly before ducking inside.
It was bigger than she thought.
Seawater pools clung to dips in the cave floor, catching the sunlight and scattering it across the rock like scattered coins. She trailed a hand along the rough wall, marveling at how nature shaped everything so perfectly.
God, this place was beautiful.
She wandered a few feet inside, careful to keep the brighter mouth of the cave within her sight, she wasnât about to get herself lost in the dark, after all.
The deeper she went, the more she noticed little details, the way seaweed had been caught high in some places, as though pushed there by violent tides, the shimmer of shells wedged between stones, and even marks on the walls.
Scratches?
No⌠another kind of mark she couldnât decipher.
----
Bucky was minding his business -lately, this meant trying to nap and failing- when the sound of footsteps echoing faintly through the stone reached his ears. His eyes snapped open, sharp and alert, and his pupils narrowed against the faint shaft of light filtering through the caveâs chimney.
Footsteps.
Too light to be a fisherman or some reckless teenager come to drink where they thought no one would find them.
No, this was different.
He pushed himself up slightly from where heâd been half-submerged in one of the deeper pools, and the water swirled softly around the dark coils of his limbs. His long hair, still damp from an early morning swim, clung to his shoulders as he turned toward the sound, tattooed fingers flexing against the rock's edge.
Then he heard it again, careful steps over the stones. Hesitant. Testing the ground like someone not used to walking there.
His jaw clenched. He knew who it was even before he heard the soft intake of breath that followed.
Her.
The one who kept coming to his shore. The one who dared to sit and hum and twist her strange threads in the sunlight like she belonged there.
He swore softly under his breath. What the hell was she doing now?
Sheâd never ventured this close. Never crossed into the mouth of his lair. Sliding silently beneath the surface, he moved closer to where the cave opened wide, staying in the deeper shadows, where the water was darkest and the light struggled to reach. Only his eyes remained above, sharp as a blade, watching her figure outlined against the sunlight spilling from the entrance.
She moved slowly, and wide-eyed, running her fingers along the walls -his walls- studying the cave like she had every right to be there. He felt something twist low in his gut, a mix of annoyance and... something else. Something that felt dangerously close to curiosity.
Didnât she realize how stupid it was to wander into places she didnât understand? His dark tendrils shifting restlessly in the water, echoing his unease.
She paused by one of the shallow pools, crouching to look at something glinting in the rocks. Shells or maybe bits of drift metal carried in by the tides, small things he sometimes kept and sometimes destroyed when he was in the wrong mood.
Buckyâs eyes narrowed as he watched her expression. Not fear, not yet. She didnât know she wasnât alone. A flicker of guilt assaulted him, uninvited. She wasnât armed, wasnât threatening. She looked... curious. Innocent, even.
But he knew better than to trust a human face.
He was used to watching her from a distance. Used to seeing her hands dance over her threads, hearing the soft sound of her voice when she hummed to herself.
But now?
Now she was here. Too close.
And as she straightened up and turned deeper into the cave, following the patches of light that filtered through cracks and chimneys, Bucky felt his chest tighten. What was he supposed to do with her? His fingers dug into the rock, and his muscles tensed under dark, storm-hued skin.
Maybe it was time to show her this wasnât a place to wander.
----
When she started moving toward that alcove, -the one where her little seashell square hung, swaying gently on its line- something sharp and possessive twisted in Buckyâs chest.
No.
That was his now.
Without thinking much about it, he slid from the deeper shadows of his resting pool, moving swift and fluid along the rocky edge, like a shadow swallowed by darker ones. His lower half gripped the slick stones as he glided over them, slipping noiselessly into another pool closer to her path.
Hidden beneath the surface, only his eyes above the waterline, he watched as she hesitated, scanning the alcoveâs uneven walls with quiet wonder.
She was too close.
His fingers curled over the rim of the pond, the dark tattooed lines on his arm twisting as his grip tensed. And then, he hissed.
Low, sharp, and deliberate.
The sound slithered through the cavern like a living thing, bouncing off the rock, and gaining depth and weight as it echoed through the chambers. She froze mid-step. She turned around slowly, all wide eyes as she scanned the shadows, the pools, the craggy walls.
âHello?â Her voice was soft, uncertain.
Bucky said nothing, keeping still as stone. She stepped back, brushing the cave wall lightly with her hand, as if for support. But that was all. She wasnât running. She wasnât screaming. Just standing there, scanning the dim light, with her mouth pressed in a thin line.
He stayed hidden, with his body almost perfectly blended with the dark water and stone. Watching. Studying.
She lingered another minute, wrapping her arms loosely around herself as if trying to convince herself that the hiss -that low, sharp thing slithering through the cavern- had been nothing. Just some natural sound of the sea moving through the rocks.
With a slow exhale, she wisely turned on her heel and started her march toward the exit, cautiously stepping over the slick stone.
But fate, of course, wasnât on her side.
Her foot slipped on a patch of algae-slick rock, and before she could even yelp, she went down hard, landing with a splash in a pool she hadn't noticed before.
âShit!â she gasped, as the cold water soaked her jeans instantly.
The splash echoed off the cavern walls, bouncing sharp and loud through the space. And that sudden, chaotic movement, the crash of her body into the water, the way her hands scrambled to push herself back up, startled something.
From across the pool, where the water dipped into shadow, the rocks seemed to shift. Her eyes caught on the movement, as the illusion of stone melted away, like mist burning under the sun. There, clinging to the rocks, was him.
Not a shadow. Not a trick of the light.
A man, pale and tattooed, with long dark hair plastered against his shoulders, and wide blue eyes locked on her with equal parts shock and anger.
But it wasnât just a man.
Where legs shouldâve been, his body changed, and thick limbs -deep blues and blacks shifting like oil- curled and rippled over the stones, some half-submerged, others coiled for balance. She could see suction cups running along the underside of a few, clinging effortlessly to the wet rock. The tips flicked and twitched, betraying tension and irritation.
For a long heartbeat, neither of them moved.
What-
He looked just as surprised as she was, like he hadnât expected to reveal his position, to startle. Then, like a storm cloud pulling itself together, his expression darkened. He tilted his head slightly as if assessing how dangerous she was now that his secret was laid bare.
Her mouth opened, but no sound came out.
The creep in the waves, she thought, as her heart thudded painfully against her ribs. Only⌠not quite the kind of creep sheâd expected. No, this was paranormal-weird. A fucking living, breathing fairy tale was perched just a few feet away, staring her down like she had personally eaten the last of his cereal.
They just⌠kept staring at each other.
She could see the tension in his shoulders, the way his tattooed arm flexed and braced against the rock like he was ready to launch himself forward. His inhuman lower half -those tendrils, massive and sleek in stormy blues and black- gripped the rock tightly, suction cups shifting and adjusting as if they couldnât quite decide between holding steady or moving closer.
He was uneasy.
But she was very sure he could sense her unease too.
Her brain spun wildly, running in circles like a hamster in an out-of-control wheel. A male cecaelia? A fucking octopus man, just a short walk from her house? A goddamn myth glaring at her like she had just walked into his living room uninvited. Which, technically, she had.
Okay, okay⌠donât freak outâŚ
She swallowed thickly, trying to keep her face neutral, though she was pretty sure her wide eyes were betraying every last thought. She flicked a glance to the nearest rocks, desperately scanning for an escape route. If she could get up without slipping again, and if she could make it out before he decided to drag her back underâŚ
Her stomach churned.
Because unlike a fish-tailed mermaid or triton, this guy didnât need the water. Those muscular tendrils looked more than capable of hauling his heavy body across the rocks, and the way they were shifting now, gripping and testing, made her feel all kinds of not safe.
If he decided she was a threat -or worse, prey- she had no illusions about being able to outrun him on that slippery surface. He could snap her neck or trap her and pull her under the water before she even got to her feet.
Feigning death? Not an option. She wasnât a possum, and he didnât look like heâd fall for it.
Her thoughts tumbled in panic, but something in his eyes -that strange stormy blue, watching her so intently- made her pause. There was hesitation there. Like he wasnât sure what to do with her, either.
So, she did the only thing she could think of.
The polite, and incredibly stupid thing.
She raised her hand -fingers trembling slightly- and waved.
âUm⌠hi there.â
Her voice cracked a little on the last word, but she managed to get it out.
Carefully, without taking her eyes off him, she pushed herself up to sitting, legs still half-submerged in the cold pool, and bracing her palms on the rocks to stop from sliding again. Her heart was pounding so hard she was sure he could hear it. But she kept her chin up, watching him watch her, waiting to see what the hell came next.
He didnât move at first. He just stared, slightly narrowing his crystal-shaded blue eyes, with blown wide pupils in the dim light of the cave.
What⌠what kind of human waved at a creature like him? He understood her mistaking him for a man the day before, but now?
His sharp gaze swept over her face as if searching for something. Maybe she hit her head when she fell. Yeah, that had to be it. Otherwise, why would she be sitting there, soaked and trembling, but still raising a hand at him like they were having some casual chat over the weather?
His lips curled slightly, baring his sharp teeth, and a low, guttural hiss escaped his throat before he could even think about it.
She flinched -a visible, whole-body jerk- and Bucky felt a grim flicker of satisfaction. Good. Maybe now she realized what kind of danger she was in. But to his surprise, she didnât scream. She didnât scramble for the exit or try to throw something at him, both of which he wouldâve expected.
Instead, she lifted her hands in a slow, careful gesture, palms out, like she was trying to calm a wild animal. Maybe she was.
âI- I mean no harm,â she said, with measured words like she didnât want to spook him. Her hands stayed up, placating, trembling just slightly. "Iâll leave," she added, her gaze never leaving his, though he could see the rapid flicker of her eyes as they tracked the way his tendrils shifted and tensed against the rocks.
Buckyâs head tilted, sharp and predatory, watching her mouth as she spoke. He could understand her words. The meaning was there, swimming somewhere in the mess his mind had become.
But speaking back? That was another matter.
Once, long ago, he could speak like any human. Could hold conversations, ask questions, and give warnings. But now the words tangled, twisted up in the shadows of his mind, caught in the wreckage of what they had done to him. Thinking about them made something sharp and dark coil in his chest. His pupils narrowed.
Without meaning to, he slid forward a little, muscles rippling under pale skin as his tendrils dragged him closer, silent and smooth against the stone.
Her eyes widened slightly, and she instinctively leaned back, pressing her palms into the slick rock as if ready to push herself away, but she didnât move. Not yet.
Every instinct in him screamed not to let her leave. She had found his lair, seen him. No human had gotten this close to him and walked away in⌠he couldnât even remember how long.
Letting her go felt wrong. Dangerous. ButâŚ
Her eyes werenât filled with the kind of hatred and greed he was used to, nor calculation. No net. No spear. No sharp weapons. Only those trembling hands and careful words. His gaze flicked to her legs, still half-submerged in the shallow pool. If he reached just a little further, he could drag her back, down into the water where she wouldnât be able to run-
His claws scraped lightly against the stone, and the sound echoed faintly in the cave. He knew he was scaring her, could smell the sharp tang of fear on her skin. And yet⌠she wasnât running away.
Maybe because she understood she couldnât. But instead of scrambling away or begging, she drew in a shaky breath and tried something else.
"LookâŚ" she started, "I didnât mean to bother you. I didnât even know you were-" She hesitated, darting her eyes briefly to his glimmering tendrils before snapping back to his face. "Here."
She swallowed and lifted her hands again, as if he needed more proof that she wasnât a threat. "I wasnât looking for you. I was just curious about the cave. You-" another pause, her brow furrowed, searching for words that wouldn't anger him. "You live here, right?"
Buckyâs jaw tensed, sharp teeth flashing for the briefest second as his mouth twitched into something that wasnât quite a snarl but wasnât friendly either.
He shifted forward again, slow and deliberate, and the water slid over his skin and tendrils with a quiet hiss. She stiffened as he moved, but didnât retreat, watching him wide-eyed.
He tilted his head again, and for a moment she thought he might just keep glaring in silence. But then he opened his mouth as if to speak, and nothing came out but a low, broken rasp, like a breath caught on something sharp. His brows furrowed, frustrated, and his lips parted again, trying to form the words tangled in his head.
"Why..." It came out rough, the echo of a voice long unused.
He shifted closer, water dripping from his hair as he leaned slightly to one side, circling her, as if testing, watching how she reacted to every inch he gained.
"Why⌠here?" he finally managed. His voice was low and hoarse like it hurt to speak. His eyes pinned her, demanding an answer.
She blinked at him, surprised that he had spoken at all, but the question was clear enough.
"I-I just was curious about the place," she answered honestly, lowering her hands slightly now that she saw he was at least trying to communicate. "I moved to the cottage up the hill. I didnât know this was your home."
Her eyes darted to the water where his tendrils swayed and curled with tension.
"I can stay away if you want," she added, softer.
Bucky watched her in silence, tilting his head slightly as if weighing her words. She could see his throat working, as though he wanted to speak again but couldnât force the words out.
Still, he crept a little closer, tendrils rising slightly out of the water, black and blue slick shapes moving with that unsettling, liquid grace, like living shadows.
She swallowed hard, watching him shift, seeing the way his muscles moved beneath pale skin, the long dark hair falling over his shoulders in wet strands. He was... too close now. Close enough that she could see how the water slid off his skin, how sharp the lines of his jaw were, how inhumanly still he could go, like a predator assessing prey.
Her mind raced, trying to piece together anything that would make sense of this encounter. Maybe she could reason with him? Offer something, anything in exchange for her safe retreat?
Her fingers trembled as she carefully slid the backpack off her shoulder, keeping her movements slow, and deliberate, showing him she wasnât reaching for a weapon.
âUm...â she cleared her throat, forcing herself to speak, though her voice was uneven. âI can give you what I brought with me... if you want.â
She opened the flap of the bag and hesitated for a heartbeat before reaching in. The colorful yarn spilled between her fingers, reds and oranges mostly, bright and warm against the grey light filtering through the caveâs chimney. She held it out awkwardly as if offering a peace token to some ancient god of the deep.
His eyes, flicked from her face to the yarn in her hand.
She tried to smile, though her lips felt stiff and dry. âYou... want it?â she asked quietly. âYou can have it. Iâll just... go.â
Stillness.
His gaze returned to her, dark lashes lowering slightly, as if thinking. Or weighing.
And then, he shifted. His body undulated with a slow, contained force as he slid a little closer, tendrils curling and uncurling at his sides like restless snakes.
Her breath hitched.
But instead of lunging or attacking, one of those black and blue limbs uncurled, hesitating mid-air before reaching out toward the yarn.
She stayed very still, with her heart thudding painfully as she watched the tip of the tendril brush lightly against the threads.
Still, she took the chance to speak again, softer now, like trying to soothe a wild animal. âI donât mean any harm,â she whispered. âI didnât know this was your place. Iâll go, alright? I wonât bother you again.â
His gaze flicked from the dripping yarn in his grasp back to her, sharp and assessing.
She swallowed, holding herself still, watching as he studied the mess of threads. The yarn was already soaking wet, clinging to itself in limp strands, and for a moment he just looked at it, frowning slightly, as if puzzling over its nature.
Then, she saw the way his brows pulled tighter, as the realization dawned in his sharp gaze. It was useless like this, just raw material. His tendrils flexed, curling tighter and then unfurling in a slow, almost thoughtful motion.
When he lifted the dripping yarn again, something flickered across his face. A decision. He moved closer now -gliding with that unsettling, fluid grace- and she instinctively stiffened as the water rippled from his advance. But he didnât lash out. Instead, he extended the yarn back to her, holding it out.
She blinked in confusion, hesitating before accepting it carefully, as though she was unsure if it was a trap.
Then came a sound, low, rough, like something long-forgotten being forced out of his throat. ââŚMake.â
Her eyes darted up to him, frowning slightly, unsure she had heard right.
âWhat?â she asked quietly, as if speaking too loud might break the fragile truce between them.
His tendril twitched, wiggling the yarn in her hand, insistently.
ââŚMake.â He said again, with a scratchy voice. She could see frustration flickering across his features, clenching his jaw as he struggled to articulate more.
âYouâŚâ she clenched her fingers slightly around the yarn- âYou want me to craft something for you?â
The way his body stilled, then the sharp nod that followed -curt, and decisive- confirmed her guess.
But before she could say anything else, before she could even think of agreeing, his voice rasped out again, harsher this time.
âNo... spiâspells.â
Her eyes widened slightly. His tendrils curled tighter, and she saw the tension in his body, as though even the thought of her weaving some enchantment into a craft unsettled him.
She lifted her free hand slowly, palms out in a placating gesture.
âNo spells,â she promised gently, watching his reaction carefully. âJustâŚâ she looked down at the yarn in her hand, âJust yarn. Nothing else.â
His eyes stayed on her for a long moment as if trying to read the truth through every line of her body. Then, with a sharp exhale that mightâve been a grudging acceptance, he let his tendrils slide back into the water, though he remained close, watching.
She swallowed again. âAll right,â she said quietly, clutching the yarn to her chest as if that fragile agreement between them had some weight. âIâll make you something.â
Still, he watched, unmoving, as though waiting to see if sheâd keep her word.
And, maybe because she was reckless or because something in his gaze wasnât entirely threatening anymore, she gave a small nod.
âIâll bring it when itâs done.â
The moment the words left her lips, she knew she had said the wrong thing.
Because his eyes narrowed, sharp and unyielding, and before she could take a step back, he moved. Effortless, like a shadow sliding over stone, he surged forward, out of the water.
She gasped, stumbling a half step back as he rose up, tendrils unfurling and curling along the slick rocks as he dragged himself fully from the pool. Water streamed down the pale skin of his human half, muscles shifting under scarred flesh, and she couldnât help but notice how solid he was, how much bigger than she had thought. If those massive tendrils below his hips were legs, and he stood at full heightâŚ
He moved with unsettling grace, positioning himself squarely between her and the only exit she had. The soft slap of his tendrils against the stone echoed ominously, and her heart was suddenly thundering in her chest again.
He was blocking her way out.
Her fingers tightened instinctively around the damp yarn, and her pulse raced as he stared her down.
âHere,â he hissed. His gaze was unblinking, cold as the sea.
She swallowed, watching as one of his tendrils lifted to tap the yarn, insistently.
âMake. Here.â
Oh, he didnât trust her. Of course, he didnât.
Why should he? She had wandered right into his lair, trespassed into the most private corner of his world. What reason would he have to believe she'd come back, or not run straight to town blabbering about a sea monster living in the cliffs?
She licked her lips, with her throat suddenly dry, her eyes darting from his looming form to the narrow path that led out, now completely cut off.
"Okay," she whispered, her voice a little shaky. "Okay. I get it." She kept her hands slow, deliberate, as she crouched down on a drier patch of rock, her gaze flicking up to him as if asking for permission.
He watched her like a hawk, tendrils shifting slightly against the ground as though ready to react to the smallest wrong move.
Her fingers fumbled slightly as she dug into her backpack for her hook, small and harmless, but she could feel the way his gaze latched onto it, tracking the glint of metal with suspicion.
âItâs⌠itâs just for the yarn,â she murmured, showing him the crochet hook in the flat of her hand before she picked up the sodden threads.
She exhaled, long and slow, trying to calm the tremble in her fingers as she looped the yarn and began to work, her mind racing even as her hands found familiar movements.
Crochet. Right. He wanted her to make something, here, now. She needed to make something fast. Something that looked impressive enough to satisfy him, but simple enough to be done before the tide decided to join them in the cave.
A jellyfish.
The thought flickered in her mind like lightning.
Last year, she had made dozens of them â some as little hanging decorations, some flat like coasters, cute and simple. The design was burned into her memory. Bright colors, curly tentacles. Easy.
Perfect.
She swallowed, adjusting her grip on the yarn and pulling her hook through the loops with more confidence now, as muscle memory took over. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched him.
He was still coiled protectively between her and the exit, but now he seemed⌠fixated. Watching her hands, the way the thread looped and twisted under her fingers.
Her mind raced as her fingers worked the damp yarn, still feeling the weight of his stare, unrelenting, sharp, and far too close.
And then, slowly, he inched closer.
Closer.
Way too close.
By the time she was halfway done with the main body of the jellyfish, his face was mere inches from hers, darting his eyes between her concentrating expression and her hands. She tried to pretend her heart wasnât slamming against her chest, but it was getting increasingly difficult to ignore the way his tendrils had crept silently over the rocks to surround her, some of them curling and uncurling near her feet, others bracing close to her sides like dark, living ropes.
For a creature that didnât trust her, he clearly had no concept of personal space. She wet her lips nervously but didnât stop working, feeling the heat of his gaze following every flick and twist of her fingers. âYou know,â she murmured, not daring to look directly at him, âfor someone so wary⌠youâre really not giving me a lot of room here.â
She risked a glance up, and for a fleeting second, she thought she saw a flicker of something in his eyes, amusement? Or maybe just sharper curiosity. His tendrils flexed against the rock, shifting slightly closer. One of them slid forward and she nearly flinched, but it didnât touch her. No, it reached for the trailing end of yarn, brushing the thread lightly, as though testing the texture.
He made a low sound in his throat, almost like a hum, flicking his eyes from the yarn to her face and back again.
Her hands kept working, faster now, shaping the last round before starting the dangling "tentaclesâ: a few quick chains and curls, loose and wavy, the way jellyfish tendrils floated underwater.
"Iâm making a jellyfish, by the way," she said quietly, filling the silence between them. "Not sure what you'll do with it down here, but-â She glanced at him, seeing how his brows furrowed slightly, as though trying to grasp her words. "But," she added gently, "you didnât say what you wanted, so⌠this is what youâre getting."
Still, no answer. Just those sharp, blue, and way too focused eyes on her face. She tried to ignore how close he was. How she could see the faint shimmer of water on his skin, the way his dark hair clung to his temples. Almost done. Just a few more loops.
"If I finish this and give it to you," she murmured, working through the last stitch, "youâll let me go, right?"
One of his tendrils curled slowly near her ankle, and she tensed before it retreated again, but he didnât answer.
The final loop tightened under her hook, and she carefully turned the jellyfish over in her hands. It wasnât her best work, but considering the circumstances? Pretty damn good. She held it up with slightly trembling fingers and finally met his gaze.
"Here," she whispered. "Itâs for you."
For a long, heavy moment, he didnât move.
Then one of his tendrils reached forward -slow, deliberate- and wrapped around the little yarn creature, lifting it gently from her hands. He held it delicately, looking at the bright red and orange yarn, wet but still vivid, which seemed almost to pulse in the dim light of the cave.
Her breath caught.
Was it enough?
His eyes flicked back to her, sharp and unreadable, before returning to the soft thing in his hold. Then, slowly, he brought it closer. He touched it with his hand, testing its weight and texture, making the curled tendrils bounce softly with his fingers. The way his clawed fingertips brushed over the loops of yarn was almost⌠reverent, like someone handling an unknown relic.
And when he lifted it to his face and sniffed it, she blinked in surprise. He made a low, thoughtful sound, something like a rumble deep in his chest, before glancing up toward the alcove where the seashell square hung. Not that she knew about it.
She didn't dare to move yet, holding her breath as his dark gaze returned to her, assessing, cold and sharp, and yet... there was something else there too.
Finally, with a rough, almost reluctant tone, he said, "Leave."
She didn't need to be told twice.
"Right. Leaving. Thanks," she mumbled, starting to push herself to her feet.
But as soon as she moved, pain shot up her leg and she stumbled with a sharp intake of breath, catching herself awkwardly on a slick rock. She heard him exhale a frustrated, almost growling sound.
And before she could even react, he was moving, fast and smooth despite his bulk.
Tendrils lashed out, wrapping around her waist, and before she could yelp properly, he hoisted her like she weighed nothing, slinging her over one broad shoulder in a way that knocked the air out of her lungs.
"What the-?! Hey!"
But he was already moving, crawling effortlessly across the rocks, with his powerful limbs and tendrils gripping surfaces with frightening ease.
She realized, squirming a little but not daring to struggle much, that he was carrying her toward the cave's exit, toward the open shore.
Despite the rush of fear and surprise, part of her brain registered the strength it took to lift her like this but he was using one arm and one tendril to support her, coiling firmly but not painfully around her, while he moved fluid and controlled.
When they reached the mouth of the cave, bathed in the cold morning light, he set her down, still holding her tightly with the tendril on her waist. She realized he wasnât letting go. She barely had a moment to catch her breath before one strong hand cupped her face,pressing along her cheek and jaw, tilting her head to face him directly.
His eyes burned into hers, too close, too sharp.
"No one," he growled, like the sound of stones grinding together.
Her heart hammered.
"I- I wonât," she breathed, eyes wide.
His brow furrowed, searching her face for any sign of a lie, and for a long, tense moment, they simply stared at each other.
Then, with a final squeeze on her waist, -reminding her just how easily he could break her if he wanted- he let her go.
She stumbled back a step, watching him as he slowly retreated into the shadows of the cave, taking her jellyfish with him like a strange prize.
----
Once alone, he slipped back into the shadows, feeling the cool kiss of the water as he submerged into his favorite pond again.
But for once, the calm he usually found there didnât come. The little jellyfish dangled from his hand, dripping seawater, with its soft yarn tendrils swaying gently with the motion of his arm.
He lifted it again, inspecting it closer now that the human was gone.
Red and orange, bright like the creatures that danced in the deep where no human dared to go. It shouldnât exist here, among these dull coastal grays and browns, but maybe thatâs why he liked it. It reminded him of things from the trenches of the sea, strange, delicate, and dangerous all at once.
With careful fingers, he turned it, watching how the thin tendrils curled and bounced with every shift, and for a moment he wondered, how did she know how these creatures were? And, did she guess what might catch his eye, or was it just luck?
His gaze drifted to the alcove where the seashell square still hung, weathered and faded from salt and air. Frowning thoughtfully, he slithered from the pool and grabbed another thin piece of fishing line. Working deftly, he tied the jellyfish, letting it dangle beside the square, and the breeze filtering through a vent stirred both pieces gently.
The tendrils danced, twisting and swaying as if alive, and something about that made his chest tighten in a way he didnât understand or didnât want to.
She had made this for him, even if coaxed.
And true to her word, it didnât reek of magic, no strange tingling in the fibers, no shimmer of spells on its surface. Just simple human craft. He stared at it, folding his arms over the edge of the alcove and resting his chin on his wrist, watching the little creature spin lazily in the wind.
After a while, he found his thoughts drifting back to her, the way sheâd stared at him, wide-eyed but trying to stay calm. The way sheâd carefully spoken to him in a soft, and unsure voice.
Her face, her eyes.
Pretty.
He huffed to himself, irritated at the thought.
Pretty, for a human. Not that it mattered.
StillâŚ
His brow furrowed.
Did she have a mate?
The question rose before he could stop it, crawling at the edge of his mind. Maybe someone waiting in that lair on the cliff? A male that would come looking if she didnât return one day?
But then again...
If she had a mate, why would she spend so much time alone, sitting by his rocks, working with her strange threads? His tendrils twitched restlessly against the stone.
It wasnât his business.
He firmly told himself that, squeezing the edge of the alcove a little too tightly. She was just a reckless human. One he shouldâve scared off properly.
And yet, when the jellyfish spun again in the breeze, he watched it, and behind his eyes, he saw her hands moving, and her lips parting as she worked.
----
By the time she reached the cottage, her legs were trembling, partly from the cold of her soaked clothes, and partly from the leftover adrenaline rushing through her veins. The door slammed shut behind her, and she pressed her back to it, breathing hard, as if expecting him to have followed her all the way there.
But, of course, he didnât.
She winced as she bent to take off her jeans, feeling the forming bruise at the base of her spine, joining the throbbing of her leg from where sheâd landed in that stupid pond. "Great. Add that to my collection of regrets."
Once free of the wet clothes, she wrapped herself in a soft towel, padding barefoot to the bathroom to start the shower, replaying the whole encounter.
A cecaelia.
She knew the folklore. Old stories and whispered warnings of half-man, half-octopus creatures that lurked in the deep, dragging sailors under the sea, charming swimmers to their deaths, or seducing them into the dark.
Not that she ever believed those tales. Until today.
And God, even furious and unfriendly as he was, he was painfully, otherworldly handsome, in a way that made her stomach twist uncomfortably. She didnât want to think how could it be to look at those features when they decided to charm instead of being hostile.
She turned her back to the mirror as she waited for the water to heat, rubbing absently at her bruised backside, but her mind wouldn't stop spinning. She could understand now why those old tales spoke of these creatures luring humans to them. There was something magnetic about him, even if she didn't want to admit it.
But...
If he really wanted to hurt her, he could have.
He couldâve crushed her throat, or dragged her under the water until she stopped breathing, hell, he had carried her like she weighed nothing at all. First slung over his broad shoulder, holding her tight with his arm, and then later, when his tentacles wrapped her waist and lifted her to her feet, holding her firm as if she were a doll.
But instead, he had trusted, and warned her off. No one, he said, the words harsh and rough on his tongue.
Because if she talked⌠if people knew something was living out there, how long before curious fishermen came with nets? Before reporters descended on the town, or researchers, trying to trap him, study him? Or worse?
All he wanted was to be left alone. And she -stupidly- had wandered straight into his home, poking around like some tourist in a forbidden place.
She sighed, finally stepping into the shower, letting the hot water pound her skin, washing away the salt and the fear. But even as the warmth soaked into her muscles, she couldnât stop thinking of the way his tentacles had flexed when he watched her work, how close his face had gotten when he stared at her like he was trying to figure her out.
And then she wondered, what parts of the old stories were true.
Next Chapter
Taglist: @civilbucky @thatesqcrush @lonelyghosts-stuff @x-press-it @the-voice-beckons-below @angelilacsworld @dollface-xoxo @mcira
dividers by @kaitsawamura
Yay to their first meeting đ¤đ¤ amazingly intense đ¤đ¤
Tangled (#1)
Pairing: Cecaelia! Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Warnings: 18+ only. Slight Angst. Fluff. Slow Burn. Eventual teratophilia.
Summary: Between fear and fascination, a solitary creature struggles to protect his hidden world -and himself- after an unexpected encounter with a curious human woman makes him question everything he thought he knew about trust, danger, and boundaries.
Word Count: 7.1k.
Masterlist
The cottage looked even smaller in person. Nestled at the cliff's edge, with wild grass growing tall around it and the sea stretching endlessly beyond, it felt like it had been left there by the wind itself, forgotten when the summer tourists had packed up and gone.
She stepped out of the car, and the sharp tang of salt air rushed into her lungs when she took a deep breath. The doctorâs words echoed in her head, as they had for weeks now. "Sea air will do wanders with you. Get away from the city, and spend time outside. Let your lungs remember how to work without fighting for every breath."
It hadnât been a hard decision, not really. When sheâd called her cousin asking if the cottage was free, heâd been surprised but quick to offer it. âNo one rents off-season,â he had said. âBut if you donât mind the quiet, itâs yours for as long as you want. Just keep an eye on the place. Cheap rent if you can manage that.â
She could. And she wanted the quiet.
The cottage itself was weathered, with paint peeling from the shutters, but it held a kind of charm. She smiled to herself, already imagining mornings spent with tea in hand, sitting on the porch, watching the sea.
In the back of her car, her yarn and crochet hooks were packed in baskets, along with pieces she could finish and post to her shop, small comforts for strangers who would never know how much she needed this place as much as they might need her work.
The door creaked as it opened, and she stepped inside, greeted by the scent of wood and sea salt that had seeped into the walls. It wasnât perfect -there would be work to do to make it feel like home- but for now, it was enough.
She left her bag by the door, moving to open the back window that faced the cliffs. The wind rushed in immediately, lifting the thin curtains and filling the small room with the sounds of the ocean.
Leaning on the windowsill, she breathed in deep again, closing her eyes for a moment.
----
She left the unpacking for later. The sunlight, pale and golden as it dipped lower in the sky, felt too precious to waste. After days of grey city skies, it was strange and wonderful to see light glinting off the water like scattered glass.
Pulling on a scarf against the wind, she made her way down the narrow path that led from the cottage to the shore, boots crunching against damp stones. The beach was more rock than sand, dark stones slick with seawater, and the waves hissing between them in restless motion. She took her time, picking her way carefully over the uneven ground, pausing here and there to admire small tide pools that shimmered like glass bowls filled with fragments of sky.
Further down, the cliffs rose higher, jagged and dark against the softening sky. Tucked into the rock face was a cave, half-hidden in shadow. She felt a pull toward it, something about the way the waves crashed near its mouth, and the water slid back in swirling foam made her want to go closer. But the tide was too high, waves rushing to the edge of the mouth and spilling out in bursts of white spray.
She sighed, a little disappointed, and found a flat rock to sit on, far enough from the waterâs reach but close enough to feel the mist on her cheeks. Pulling her knees up, she wrapped her arms around them and watched the horizon where the sky met the sea, silver and darkening.
She didnât notice the way the water stirred beyond the rocks.
From the shadows of the cave, he watched.
Blue eyes, sharp and narrowed, fixed on the figure that had dared to step onto his shore. A female human, wrapped in thick clothes, clearly not afraid of being so close to the water. His gaze followed her movements, the careful way she sat, her eyes distant as if searching for something in the waves.
The sea shifted around him, dark tentacles stirring the foam as he rose slightly from the depths, blending with the shadows. The skin below his waist was marked in deep stormy colors: blues that bled into blacks, silvers that caught the light when he moved, like flashes of lightning underwater. His long dark hair clung wet to his shoulders, the strands caught in the shifting current.
His left arm was marked in heavy black ink, curling patterns that wound around the muscles like chains and waves, telling stories in lines and symbols only the ocean would ever understand.
He was used to people coming close in the summer, loud and careless, splashing in the water, never looking beyond what they wanted to see. But this one was different. She was quiet. Still.
That didnât mean she wasnât dangerous.
With a slow, deliberate motion, he slid closer to the rocks, letting the water conceal most of his form, moving his lower half with smooth, effortless strength beneath the waves. The great, coiled limbs of his true body remained hidden for now, shifting like shadows below.
His gaze darkened as he watched her. What was she doing there? Why now, when the cold months were setting in and no other humans dared to linger?
His jaw clenched as he sank a little deeper into the water, watching her as the sun dipped lower and painted the sky in bruised purples and oranges. He would wait. Watch. And if she meant harm to his waters, to his shore, he would know. But still, he couldn't help the way his eyes lingered when the wind caught her hair, or the way her small smile seemed soft and tired, as if she carried some invisible weight.
She came back.
The next day and the one after.
By the third sunrise, Bucky had already realized, with a sinking weight in his chest, that the human woman wasnât just passing through. No, she returned, making her way down the narrow path from the cliffs, wrapped in her layers of soft clothes and her hair tousled by the wind. She walked the shore like she belonged there, like it wasnât his.
It bothered him.
From the shadows of the rocks, half-submerged in the dark water, he watched her settle on the same stone each day, legs folded neatly beneath her as she sat with her back to the wind. Like clockwork, she always carried a bundle under her arm -sometimes a basket, sometimes a cloth bag- and inside were her strange tools.
At first, he'd tense every time she pulled them out. Metal glinting in the light, sharp and delicate. His eyes would narrow, watching the quick, precise movements of her fingers as she worked the thread -or was it wire?- into something he couldn't quite understand.
Was she weaving traps? Humans were clever like that, dressing danger in the shape of something pretty. His teeth would clench as he lingered close enough to see but far enough that the sea still wrapped him in its shield. Some days, heâd hover beneath the surface, letting the swell of the waves rise and fall over him, tentacles coiled and ready, just watching. Other days, when curiosity won out over caution, he'd pull himself closer to the rocks, blending with the dark stone, his body hidden in the foam, only sharp blue eyes peering from the shadowed cracks.
He couldn't understand her.
The tools -those thin, pointed things that glinted in the sun- moved quickly in her hands, pulling and twisting strands of colored thread into shapes. He watched her lips move sometimes, as if she were speaking to herself or singing under her breath, her voice too soft to carry over the waves.
What are you doing, human?
Some days, she worked with blues and greys that matched the ocean. Other days, softer colors: pale pinks, sandy creams, as if she were plucking the colors from the sunset and tying them into her thread.
His mind turned over the possibilities, dark and sharp as broken shells.
Offerings, maybe. Humans used to throw things into the sea, begging the water for favors. Had she come to his shore to offer something? And if so, to whom?
What was it like, to sit under the open sky, making something delicate with hands that didnât know the weight of chains?
What did a human like her have to craft for?
He knew humans were dangerous. They made weapons and poison. They took and broke and never gave back to the sea. But watching her, with her small, careful motions and calm presence, Bucky couldnât make her fit into the same mold.
Still, he kept his distance.
And watched.
She was a mystery, and Bucky had always known better than to trust a pretty mystery.
----
The sky was heavy that day, thick with clouds that churned low over the sea like a living thing, pressing the wind harder against the cliffs. The waves crashed louder, salt spray carried far beyond the rocks, and even the birds had gone quiet, hunkering down somewhere safer than the open air.
Still, she came.
Bucky saw her before she even reached the stones, her figure bent slightly against the wind, with a scarf whipped loose around her shoulders as she picked her way carefully across the slick path. He stayed hidden in the caveâs shadows, narrowing his eyes as he watched her approach, bracing himself as another gust sent the water lashing high against the rocks.
Foolish human. She had no business being here in this weather.
And yet, there she was, basket under her arm, as though her stubbornness could make the storm back down.
She didnât stay long; that, at least, he could appreciate. The wind tugged mercilessly at her hair, whipping strands across her face, and even from his distance, he could see her frown as she tried to focus on her work. The little metal tools caught flashes of dull light, as she wrestled with thread that kept trying to fly away.
More than once, she nearly dropped the whole thing, muttering curses under her breath that the wind carried just out of his hearing.
Shouldâve stayed home, Bucky thought darkly, though part of him -a part he didnât want to examine too closely- felt a flicker of something like amusement at her stubbornness.
Eventually, even she had to admit defeat.
With a sharp breath, she shoved the tangled project and tools back into her basket, fighting to keep everything from slipping out as the wind ripped around her. Bucky watched as she stood, holding the basket close with one hand and pulling her scarf tighter with the other.
She turned to leave, but the basketâs lid wasnât secure.
He caught the movement first, a small square of soft color, pale blue and cream, clinging to the edge until a sharp gust of wind tore it free.
The little piece of her work tumbled up into the air like a bird struggling against the gale, flipping and twisting wildly. She didnât notice, too focused on her path back up to the cliffs, already moving away.
Buckyâs sharp gaze tracked the square as it flew, carried higher for a moment before the wind turned and dropped it like a wounded thing onto the rocks.
He slid closer, and the sea hissed against the shore as his dark form rose from the waves, blending with the churning water. His tentacles shifted beneath, curling and uncoiling lazily as he moved through the foam toward where the thing had landed.
For a moment, he didnât touch it, only looked, tilting his head slightly as he studied the object. It was soft and tiny, patterned carefully in shifting stitches, with the center shaped like a seashell.
A seashell.
His brows drew together, a flicker of confusion sliding through his chest.
Was it⌠for him? An offering? A message?
His tattooed arm reached out, brushing the yarn with his wet fingers as if it might dissolve under his touch. He picked it up, holding it between his fingers, and turning it over. The colors were soft, like the sea on a calm morning, so unlike the stormy waters around them now.
He stared after her retreating figure, now nearly lost to the rising mist that curled along the cliffs. His fingers closed around the little square, and his chest twisted with something sharp and unfamiliar. Without thinking, he slipped back into the water, keeping the square safe in his palm as he sank below the waves, carrying it into the deep.
----
The cave had been his refuge for years now.
A place carved by time and water, jagged and vast beneath the cliffs, a labyrinth of dark stone and shifting pools. The ocean lived and breathed in its chambers, rushing in with the tides to flood the lower passages, pulling back to leave slick rock and pools deep enough for him to slide through.
Most humans never saw more than the yawning mouth of the cave, and even then, they gave it a wide berth, spooked by the way the waves churned and roared in its depths. But Bucky had made it home.
It wasnât much. Dark. Cold. Safe.
Except now, it wasnât just his.
He surfaced silently in one of the upper chambers, where the water only reached his hips before sloping into the damp rock. High above, a narrow shaft split the stone, letting pale daylight pour down like a spotlight. Even on cloudy days, it was enough to see by.
Holding the little square carefully between tattooed fingers, he studied it again as if it might reveal something new, some hidden meaning in its soft, woven loops.
It shouldnât be here.
Nothing soft ever survived this place.
The sea that pounded the rocks outside was as ruthless as the men whoâd once dragged him from it. His world was made of sharp edges and dark water. Things that survived here were hard, broken, and dangerous.
Not like this.
His lip curled slightly, though he wasnât sure if it was at himself or the thing he couldnât quite let go of.
He moved to the far side of the chamber where a heavy rock shelf jutted from the wall, slick with salt but high enough to stay dry when the tide rolled in. Above it, close to the light from the chimney, an old, rusted hook still hung from a crack in the rock, a leftover from some shipwrecked fishing gear he'd dragged in long ago.
He didnât think much before reaching for a coil of fishing line he scavenged from the sea, along with other things lost by sailors who would never know what had become of them.
With careful fingers, he tied the little square to the line, knotting it securely, and hung it from the hook so it swayed gently in the faint breeze that slipped down through the shaft.
It turned slowly, spinning on the line, and its pale threads caught what little light filtered in, soft and fragile in a world of darkness.
Bucky leaned back in the water, resting his arms on the rocks behind him, watching it move. Something about how it danced, as if defying the cold stone and salt-heavy air, set his teeth on edge.
Why did she make things like that?
Was she offering pieces of herself to the sea? To him?
His gaze darkened as he thought of her again, sitting on his rock, unaware of the way she was watched, studied like a puzzle that didnât fit. His eyes flicked to the square once more, to the soft seashell design at its center.
It didnât make sense, but he didnât take it down.
Instead, he stayed there for a long time, watching it turn and twist in the pale shaft of light.
----
The next morning, she sat on the couch, sorting through her project basket with a small frown tugging at her lips. The afghan was coming together beautifully, a tapestry of ocean blues, soft foamy whites, and sandy golds, all made of tiny, careful stitches. But something was off. She counted again, lips moving silently as her finger trailed over each square laid out in neat rows.
Twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-fiveâŚ
She paused.
No, it wasnât right.
She was sure sheâd finished all the seashell tiles. It had been the last thing she worked on by the shore before the stormy weather rolled in. But now⌠she was one short.
Her brow furrowed deeper. Had she miscounted?
She rubbed her forehead, letting out a soft breath. Maybe sheâd dropped one and didnât notice. The wind had been fierce that day, tugging at everything: her hair, her scarf, her work, like impatient fingers.
Glancing out the window, where the sea glinted pale in the afternoon sun, she chewed her lip. She didnât have enough yarn to do another. So, with a resigned sigh, she grabbed her bag and slipped on her jacket.
Maybe the little shop uptown still had that particular shade of blue left.
----
The bell over the shop door chimed as she stepped inside, bringing with her a breath of sea air. The shop was small, crammed with yarns of every color, stacked high on wooden shelves that smelled faintly of cedar and wool.
Behind the counter, an older woman -probably in her seventies, but with sharp eyes and quick hands- looked up from where she was rolling skeins into neat cakes.
âWell, well,â the woman said with a curious smile. âDonât get many young folks around this time of year. Let me guess, lost a mitten?â
She laughed softly, shaking her head. âNo, nothing like that. I just⌠moved to the cottage down by the cliffs. I need some blue yarn.â
The womanâs brows rose. âThe cottage? Arthurâs place?â
She nodded. âHeâs my cousin. Said I could stay off-season. I needed⌠a change of air, for my lungs.â
The womanâs gaze softened a little at that, but there was something else too, a flicker of something sharper in her eyes.
âBeen walking the shore, have you?â
She smiled faintly. âAlmost every day. Itâs good for my health. And itâs⌠peaceful out there.â
The old womanâs fingers stilled on the yarn, and her gaze grew more serious. âYou stay away from that cave, girl.â
The sudden shift in tone made her blink. âOh? Is it dangerous? Flooding or⌠rocks falling?â She had wondered, more than once, about exploring inside; its dark mouth always tugged at her attention from afar.
But the old woman just shook her head slowly, pressing her lips on a thin line. âNo. Itâs not the rocks you should worry about.â
Her stomach gave a small flip, though she wasnât sure why. âWhat then?â she asked, her voice lighter than she felt. âGhost stories?â
The woman didnât smile.
âSome folks say thereâs something in there. Something that donât take kindly to strangers.â
There was a long pause between them, filled only by the soft creak of the shopâs wooden floor as the wind rattled outside.
She gave a small laugh. âWell⌠Iâll be careful. No caves. Just sitting by the rocks, I promise.â
The woman watched her a moment longer, then reached to pluck a skein from the shelf, soft blue with the faintest shimmer of white, like sea foam.
âHere. This the color youâre needing?â
Relieved for the change of subject, she smiled. âPerfect, thank you.â Still, as she paid and stepped back out into the gray afternoon, the womanâs words clung to her mind like salt spray on her skin.
Something in there.
Superstitions. Nothing more.
----
She came earlier this time.
The sun was still high, cutting thin shafts of light across the rocky shore. The sea was calm for once, lapping lazily at the stones, though she could already see the tide creeping in, filling the gaps between the rocks like liquid glass.
Her backpack -her new companion for carrying everything- hung from one shoulder as she picked her way down the worn path, scanning the ground with a slight wrinkle of concentration between her brows. She wasnât sure what she expected to find.
Maybe -if she let herself hope- the missing square would be there, caught between some stones or tangled in a patch of seaweed. It wasnât likely. The wind had been fierce that day. More than likely, it was long gone, carried off to sea.
She wandered close to the cliffside, scanning the rocks and little pools left behind by the waves. Empty. Just rocks, water, and shells.
Eventually, her path curved nearer to the cave.
She paused when she reached it, its dark mouth yawning wide before her eyes. The tide had already crept in enough to flood the entrance, and the seawater glimmered like oil in the shadows, rising and falling with a deep, constant rhythm.
She stood there for a moment, resting her weight on one leg, with her arms crossed loosely over her chest as she gazed into the darkness.
The womanâs words floated back to her, âSomething in there.â
A soft huff of laughter escaped her lips. "Right. Some kind of sea monster," she murmured to herself, glancing at the waves as they lapped at the rocks. Townfolk and their stories. She guessed every place had its own Nessie to keep tourists from wandering too far. Still, her eyes lingered on the shadows inside the cave.
Not that she believed in monsters.
She found a smooth rock nearby, flatter and more comfortable than her usual perch, and sat down slowly. For a while, she didnât even reach for her yarn.
She just sat there, watching the sea. Noting how the light broke on the water, how the wind stirred small ripples that chased each other toward shore. It was peaceful, quiet.
Still, she couldnât shake the feeling that she wasnât alone.
Maybe it was how the waves broke oddly sometimes, like something moved beneath them. Or how the shadows seemed deeper at the caveâs edge.
Out of the corner of her eye, something shifted, a ripple where there shouldnât have been one, a shape half-blurred by the surf.
Her head snapped around.
Nothing. Just rocks and waves, sunlight flashing silver on the water. She let out a breath she hadnât realized she was holding and rubbed her arms, shaking her head at herself. âGet a grip,â she muttered. âYouâre gonna start seeing ghosts next.â
She wasnât afraid; it felt more like a prickle at the back of her neck, like the feeling of being watched. She shivered despite herself and finally dug in her backpack, pulling out her yarn and hook.
Hands busy and occupied mind, maybe that would help.
And as her fingers worked the stitches, her eyes kept flicking now and then to the caveâs dark mouth, half expecting to see something -or someone- looking back at her.
----
Bucky stilled. Heâd been resting half-submerged, lulled by the steady rise and fall of the tide against the rocks, when her footsteps crunched over the shore. The sound pulled him from the quiet calm of the water.
His eyes narrowed when he saw her wandering closer than usual, with a backpack slung over her shoulder, scanning the rocks like she was searching for something.
Closer.
Too close.
He stayed motionless as she approached the mouth of the cave, tilting her head slightly as he observed her, cool and calculating. So, she wasnât content to sit on the same sun-warmed rock as always. No, now she was pressing into his territory, almost stepping at his doorstep.
Something in him bristled at that.
One thing was for her to perch at a distance, near enough to watch but far enough to ignore if he wanted. But here? Where he lived, where he slept? His jaw clenched, and his arms flexed subtly in the water. His blue gaze followed every move she made. What was she thinking, wandering so close to something she didnât understand?
He chewed on the inside of his cheek.
She didnât look dangerous, sitting there on the rock, folding herself into a soft curve against the sharp lines of the shore. But he knew better than to trust first glances. They never looked dangerous until it was too late.
Still, she didnât carry herself like a hunter.
His gaze slid over her form, watching as she sat and stared out to sea, with her hands resting idle, for once. Something about the way she observed the water made his chest twist with something strange and tight, curiosity, maybe.
And then, her head turned.
He stiffened as her eyes swept toward the cave, sharp and searching.
Instinct surged up fast and cold.
No.
Before her gaze could settle, he shifted, and his skin rippled as the pigments in his body flared and blended, dark blues and stormy grays swirling into a perfect mimicry of the wet stone and shadows around him.
Camouflaged, he watched as her stare paused a second longer -too long- before she finally looked away, sighing softly.
Bucky exhaled, though the movement barely stirred the water around him. He kept his skin blended to the rocks. What was he supposed to do with her?
She didnât seem dangerous. But danger didnât always wear a sharp smile and bloodstained hands, sometimes, it came wrapped in soft eyes and gentle fingers. They had taught him long ago that humans, even the fragile-looking ones, could destroy a life without a second thought.
Still, she hadnât tried to harm anything. Not yet.
His eyes flicked toward her bag as if he could see through it to the soft squares she wove. His fingers twitched faintly in the water.
He didnât like her so close to the cave, but he wasnât ready to drive her away either. So, for now, he would watch -hidden and silent- and wait.
Wait to see if she would prove herself a threat.
Or something else.
----
It was nearly sunset the next day when she came back. The wind had picked up again, sharp and salty, tugging at her hair as she made her way down to the rocks -his rocks- like she belonged there.
He should have grown used to her by now.
But today, she wasnât carrying her usual stuff. No soft blues or pale greens in her arms, no ocean-colored threads to match the shore.
Instead, she carried something bright.
She sat down with a small sigh, tucking her legs beneath her, and pulled out a tangled mess of reds and oranges that caught the dying sunlight and burned in her hands.
His eyes narrowed. It wasnât like her other work.
The colors were sharp, like warning signals in nature, like the poison coral and venomous anemones lurking under rocks.
He crept a little closer, careful not to disturb the waterâs surface, watching as her fingers worked the thread, pulling and twisting, weaving patterns that made no sense to him.
A net?
The thought came unbidden, and he bristled at it. Was she making something to trap fish? Or⌠something larger, like him?
But even as his suspicion spiraled, he looked again, and his sharp gaze caught the way the fibers slipped through her hands, soft, pliable, delicate.
No.
No one would use something that fine and fragile to catch fish. His eyes lingered on the trailing end of the project, long, thin, and useless for holding anything.
Not a net, then.
But that didnât ease his mind. If not for catching, then for binding? Some kind of restraint?
The thought set his muscles on edge. His arms tensed, and the tips of his dark tendrils stirred faintly beneath the surface.
And then she started humming.
Low, soft, like a tune half-forgotten, not loud enough to be a song, but enough for his sharp ears to catch.
He froze.
Was it⌠a spell?
His gaze darkened, trying to focus on the way her lips moved, though she didnât speak any words. Just the soft melody, drifting on the wind, as her fingers worked and pulled the red and orange threads. Humans were strange creatures, and he knew enough to fear the things they could do with words and symbols.
Maybe she was weaving magic into that thread, binding spells, summoning songs. He had seen it before, felt it before.
Still, she didnât look like a witch.
His eyes traced her face, calm and focused, with her brows slightly furrowed as she worked. There didnât seem to be malice there, no sharp glances cast toward the water. But appearances were deceiving.
His gaze dropped again to the burning colors slipping through her fingers, and something in him twisted.
The questions tangled tighter in his chest, and he found himself slightly leaning forward, drawn to the movement of her hands and tools, to the colors, to her voice.
His eyes stayed locked on her until the sun slipped fully behind the waves, and she finally stood to leave, carefully folding the half-finished piece and tucking it away.
As she walked back up the path, she glanced over her shoulder, scanning the shore one last time, and for a breathless moment, Bucky wondered if she could feel him there, watching.
----
The rain had finally stopped.
Three days of relentless downpour had left the shore wild and restless, and the waves were breaking hard against the rocks, spraying foam high into the air. The sky still hung heavy with clouds, but at least the water no longer poured from it.
Bucky had spent those days deep inside the flooded parts of the cave, watching the storm churn from the shadows. Alone.
Not that he minded.
Or so he told himself.
But as the days dragged on, he became restless. Irritable. He kept glancing toward the cave entrance, expecting -hoping- to see her figure appear between the rocks.
But she never came.
And he hated how that bothered him.
So when the skies cleared and, late in the afternoon, she finally made her way down to the shore again, he felt something loosen in his chest, though he wouldn't name it.
From his usual hiding spot, half in the water, half behind a jut of rock, he watched her settle down, pulling her yarn and hook from her bag with the kind of familiar movements that made him⌠oddly content.
Maybe he'd gotten too used to her presence. To the soft sound of her humming and the rhythm of her hands working threads into strange patterns.
Maybe thatâs why he wasnât as careful today.
Maybe thatâs why, when he leaned a little too far forward in the water just to get a better look at what colors she brought this time, the sunlight caught him at a wrong angle.
Whatever the reason, he was sloppy.
Her eyes snapped toward him. And he froze.
She furrowed her brows, tilting her head as she stared directly at him. Not the vague searching glances of before. No, this time she saw him.
His heart hammered in his chest, and his pulse was loud in his ears.
She seemed confused, narrowing her eyes slightly as they traveled over his form, and Bucky realized with a jolt that to her, he probably looked like⌠well, like a man.
A man swimming in the cold autumn sea.
Without a suit.
Without reason.
Her gaze flicked over the rocks, then back to him, as if wondering where the hell he had come from because there was no easy way down from town, and she'd have seen anyone arriving from the path.
Still, instead of looking frightened, she just blinked at him, hesitated for a breath, and then lifted her hand in a casual wave.
A simple, almost amused gesture.
Hi, weird stranger.
He had faced hunters, poachers, and worse. Humans who would sooner try to catch him than greet him. But here she was, waving at him like he was just another odd townie swimming where he shouldnât.
For a heartbeat, he didnât move, staring at her with narrowed eyes.
And then, as if realizing heâd already messed up by letting her see him, he dipped slightly lower into the water, letting only his head remain above the surface, but didn't turn away.
She watched him for a moment longer, waiting maybe for a response, before shrugging to herself and returning to her work, pulling out a soft teal yarn this time.
Still, Bucky didnât stop watching. His mind twisted over and over on what had just happened.
She had seen him.
Seen him.
And instead of running, instead of panicking, she'd waved.
What kind of human sat on the edge of danger and smiled into it?
He sank a little deeper into the water, his blue eyes never leaving her, as she began to hum again, soft and low.
Something about her was wrong.
----
She tried to focus on her work, crocheting the teal yarn on autopilot, but her eyes kept darting -against her will- to the corner of her vision, where he was.
Still there.
Still watching.
At first, sheâd thought he was just some local oddball, Â and God knew, every small town had at least a handful of those, but the longer she sat, the more her nervousness grew.
Who just stared at someone like that?
She shot another glance his way, careful not to turn her head fully.
Yup. Still there.
Still looking like he had nothing better to do than burn holes on her with his eyes.
Her fingers slowed. Okay. So maybe the old woman at the shop hadnât been warning her about some spooky town legend. Maybe sheâd been trying to warn her about him. Some town creep who liked to lurk around the cave and watch women from the water.
She frowned, looping the yarn tighter than necessary.
But if that were the case, wouldnât the clerk have just said so? Something like âoh, by the way, steer clear of the guy who haunts the shore like a creepâ?
Instead, sheâd talked about danger in vague, almost superstitious terms. Like people did when they talked about ghosts or monsters.
Not flesh-and-blood men.
Still, she couldnât shake the feeling crawling up her spine. Her fingers worked faster now, as if the act of crocheting could anchor her, steady her nerves. But her mind wouldnât stop racing.
He didnât look like some frail old hermit squatting in a cave.
No, he looked⌠fit. Broad-shouldered, all sharp angles and lean muscle, with dark hair slicked back by the sea water and something almost wild in the way he watched her. And handsome. Very handsome.
Wasnât he cold?
It wasnât summer out here. Even under the pale sun, the wind still bit, carrying the oceanâs chill. And there he was, bare, like it was nothing. She swallowed, slowing her fingers slightly as her thoughts tangled worse than her yarn.
Maybe heâs training? she tried to reason. Some kind of triathlete or swimmer. That would explainâŚ
But her gaze flicked to him again, and this time, she caught the way his eyes followed the motion of her hands. Focused. Intense. Like a predator watching something small and unaware.
The back of her neck prickled.
Yeah, if this was training, it was training for something she didnât want to be part of.
Still, she forced herself to stay put. She wasnât going to let some weirdo scare her off from her favorite spot. But if tomorrow he was there, she might have to think about going somewhere else.
Or maybe ask around -casually- if anyone knew who the hell this guy was. Her hook slipped on a stitch, and she cursed under her breath. With a sharp sigh, she set the half-finished square in her lap and stared at the waves, refusing to let herself look at him again.
----
After a while observing her, he noticed she wasnât as relaxed as moments ago, wasnât humming under her breath or pausing now and then to watch the waves.
No, she kept glancing toward him. Not directly, but in those small, sharp ways people do when they know they're being watched.
Damn it.
He shouldâve known better.
Shouldâve realized when she saw him, when she waved at him like some clueless land dweller, that he shouldâve backed off, and stayed out of sight for a while.
But no.
Instead, some part of him -the part that had gotten used to her presence, to the strange comfort of hearing her voice carried over the wind- had watched perhaps too much.
And now she was nervous.
He saw it in the way her shoulders tensed every time she shifted. In the way her fingers fumbled slightly, like her mind wasnât really on what she was doing.
And worse, she was pretending he wasnât there.
Why?
That worried him as he sank lower in the water, frustration twisting in his chest.
Why pretend? Why act like he wasnât there when she clearly knew?
Was it some human game? Was she trying to ignore him to bait him into coming closer, or was she just scared and trying not to show it?
He scowled, flexing his claws against the rock. He didnât want her to be afraid.
Or did he?
Wouldnât that be better? If she feared him, maybe sheâd stop coming here. His gaze drifted to the backpack at her side, the threads spilling out like a tangle of seaweed, as her hands worked almost feverishly.
What was she thinking?
Was she wondering if he was dangerous or if he would attack her?
Good.
She should wonder.
Because he wasnât safe. Not by a long shot.
StillâŚ
He ducked lower when she shifted, watching from behind a curtain of sea foam, blending his skin into the dark rock, but the damage was done. She knew.
And now that heâd seen that flicker of unease in her eyes, something ugly and cold twisted in his gut.
Why do you care? he snarled at himself. She was just another human. Just another threat.
But no matter how much he repeated it, his eyes stayed locked on her soft and tense form and the way her hands moved faster as if to drown out her thoughts.
Bucky let out a low hiss under his breath, more at himself than anything else.
He should leave.
He should let her be.
But he didnât move.
Couldnât.
And when she finally stood to leave, gathering her things and casting one last glance over her shoulder -wary, searching- he sank deeper into the waves, watching her go with a storm churning in his chest.
----
The first thing she did when she came home was head straight for the shower. The warm water rolled down her back, washing away the salt clinging to her skin and the tension from the strange encounter by the shore. She stayed under the spray longer than necessary, trying to shake the image of that man watching her with those sharp, unreadable eyes.
Once she was dry and wrapped in her softest clothes, she settled into the small nook by the window, with her laptop perched on her knees, and opened her shopâs page. There were a few new notifications: a sold pattern, a message from a customer asking about shipping times, and an inquiry about custom work.
She starting to reply to the messages when her phone buzzed suddenly, making her jump.
Arthur.
She huffed out a breath and picked up.
âHey,â she greeted, leaning back against the cushions.
âHey, you!â her cousinâs familiar voice filled the line. âJust wanted to check in. Howâs the place? Are you settling alright?â
She smiled a little. âYeah, itâs perfect, Arthur. Exactly what I needed the airâs doing wonders already.â
âThatâs good to hear.â He paused, and she could almost picture him leaning on something, probably a counter or desk at his job. âYouâre not getting too lonely, right? I know itâs kinda dead out of season.â
âIâm fine,â she assured him, glancing out the window at the gray sky, a reminder of the past days of rain. âBesides, I needed the quiet.â
There was a pause. She bit her lip, debating with herself, before blurting out, âHey, listen⌠you wouldnât happen to know if anyone in town trains for water sports, do you?â
Arthur blinked; she could hear it in the silence that followed her words. âWhat?â
She shifted, tucking one leg under herself. âI mean, like⌠open water swimming, or diving, or whatever. I saw someone today. Down by the rocks near the cave.â
Another pause. Longer this time.
âYou sure? Maybe it was just a seal or something? You said the weather was rough.â
She sighed with irritation. âArthur, I believe I still know how to differentiate between a grown-ass man and a fucking seal, thank you very much.â
âAlright, alright,â he said quickly, but she could hear the edge of worry in his voice now. âItâs just⌠no one goes swimming there this time of year, or at any season, really. Is not exactly a place for casual swimmers.â
âWell, this guy didnât seem to care,â she muttered.
Arthur was quiet again. Then, more serious, he added, âLook, just⌠donât go back to that area, okay? Stick closer to the cottage. Thereâs plenty of shore to walk on the other side, yeah?â
She hesitated, flicking her gaze toward her backpack near the door, still full from today.
âYeah,â she finally said, though the word tasted like a lie. âProbably wonât go back.â
Arthur sighed, clearly relieved. âGood. You know how towns are. You donât wanna get mixed up with some weirdo. Just⌠be careful.â
âI will,â she promised, softer this time.
But as soon as the call ended and she set her phone down, she leaned back and stared out the window again.
Probably wonât go back, she had said.
Yeah, right.
She hated walking near the parts of the beach where people gathered. The ones who stayed all year round, the teens with their loud music and bonfires.
She liked her quiet spot.
And if that strange man -or whatever he was- showed up againâŚ
Well.
Sheâd figure it out.
Maybe.
Probably.
She reached for her yarn backpack with a sigh, pulling out another project to keep her hands busy. But her mind stayed restless, wandering back to the man with sharp blue eyes and the way the sea seemed to ripple around him.
Next chapter
Dividers by @/kaitsawamura
On the edge of my seat to read what happens next đ¤đ¤
ruin the friendship
bob floyd x fem!reader
summary: bob floyd was in a pickle. his ma and pa were expecting him to bring someone home for his older brotherâs wedding. are you up for the challenge of being his fake girlfriend for the week? or will it ruin your friendship?
warnings: 18+, mdni, smut, unprotected sex, fingering, oral fem and male receiving (bob eating it from the back), male masturbation, roommates/friends to lovers (my fav trope sue me), no use of y/n
word count: 14.3k
a/n: bob is a total mama's boy in this, but in such a good way. can you guys tell i just love bob so much? i hope you enjoy!
masterlist
your call sign: bee
In a month, Bob was expected back in Montana for his older brother's wedding. But he stared at the most recent missed call from his Ma and grimaced. How was the wedding already so close? And how had he dropped the ball this badly?
A few months earlier...
"Ma, yes, I'm still coming," Bob spoke into the phone pressed against his cheek and shoulder. His hands were folding his fresh laundry as it lay out on his bed.
"And your older brother needs to know if you're bringing someone with you, honey. There's no shame in coming home alone again..." his mother said in a sweet voice, but Bob knew what the underlying tone meant. All his life, he never had anyone to bring home. It was like an ongoing joke inside his family at this point. No high school or college girlfriends seemed acceptable at the time, but now he was a Navy pilot and couldn't get a girl? Well couldn't get the girl he really wanted.
Before he even thought about what he was saying, he blurted out a response, "I'm bringing someone."
What.
"What?! Robert Floyd, you better not be messing with me!" his mother squealed over the phone. "Jim!" Bob had to pull the phone away from his ear with a grimace as his mother shouted for his father. "He's bringing someone!"
"About time," he could hear his father's gruff voice on the other end of the call. "Was gettin' worried about him out there in California. That boy's not built for the beach."
"Oh, you hush! Honey, I'll go ahead and let Mark know. I love you!" his mother's excitement could be felt through the phone, her voice all high and pitchy.
"Bye Ma, I love you," Bob huffed out. What did he just do?
"How's she doing?" Bob jumped at the sound of your voice, quickly turning to you. You lounged against the door frame of his bedroom, wearing nothing but a sports bra and some running shorts. He hadn't expected you to be home from your run with Phoenix so soon.
"Ma? Oh, uh, yeah, she's good. She's good, nothing new, y'know," he fumbled through a response, trying to not to look at the way the beads of sweat ran down your neck.
You hummed at him, "That's good. Are you still up for Thai food tonight? The new place on 4th?"
Of course, he was. When you first mentioned it last weekend, he had almost jumped at the opportunity. Sure, he liked Thai food, but sitting across from you and sharing a meal was what Bob really cherished. "Yep! Yeah, that sounds good. Ready in an hour?"
"You read my mind, Bobby," you said with a grin as you backed into your room across from his.
Present timeâŚ
âWhatâs wrong?â you saw the scowl on Bobâs face as he stirred the pasta like he had a personal vendetta against it.
âHuh? Oh, um, just thinking about my brotherâs wedding,â he said like even the thought made him sick.
âYou say that like itâs a bad thing,â you said as you prepped the various vegetables on the countertop around you. âI love weddings. The outfits, the candles, the flowers! I canât wait to get married. And I donât want to have a big wedding, yâknow? But like more of a backyard, summer barbecue type of vibe. Oh! And I want all my bridesmaids in different color dresses!â
Bob watched you as you described your perfect wedding, mentally taking notes. The way you had set down the knife to wave your hands around was adorable. You were always so animated, unafraid to show your emotions.
âBut Bobby, the best part about weddings isâŚâ you left the ending open for him, ushering him to fill in the blank.
âThe cake?â he questioned. To be honest, he was trying to appeal to your sweet tooth.
âI mean, yeah, thatâs pretty high up there. But no, itâs the look right before the first kiss. So many people say itâs the first look or the actual kiss, but for me itâs that moment where everyone knows whatâs coming next and the purest emotions are on the bride and groom's faces,â you explained in pure joy and awe, like you had experienced this feeling yourself. It was sweet to watch. Your wonder and love for the simple things were something Bob loved about you.
âBut, why is that moment better than the first look?â he asked innocently.
You sighed wistfully. "Just that moment when you can see the excitement on the groom's face, and he can barely contain himself. And the bride is usually so bashful, but always so excited. It's just so sweet, Bobby."
It did sound sweet. If Bob and you were getting married, he doubts he'd be able to contain his eagerness before the first kiss. No, he'd be way too focused on you to even listen to the officiant of the ceremony. Surely, he'd forget what to say, and he'd be a mess through his vows.
Bob was quiet for a minute or two, and you wondered what was going on in his head. You saw the way he had a small smile on his face, like it was hidden and just for him at this moment. And the way his shoulders relaxed, going more and more slack as time passed.
"You're thinking about it, aren't you?" you asked him with a teasing smile.
"Yeah, maybe," he chuckled and went back to stirring the pasta. Bob wanted to stay in this moment forever with you. It was so domestic. Cooking together in the kitchen you shared, laughing and throwing each other playful looks, talking about weddings. Maybe one day you'll talk about your wedding. Anything you wanted for the big day, Bob was sure to agree.
Living with you had been both the best and worst thing for Bob. A few months into the program, your lease was about to let up, and you were scrambling to find a new place. Bob hadn't known you prior to the mission that brought you all down to San Diego, but you had become close very quickly. Being two of only a few backseaters in the squad, you and Bob had spent a lot of time together in training and going over mission briefs. He had met a handful of WSOs in his time in the Navy, but knowing you was like a breath of fresh air. You never diminished your position or your knowledge, even when other pilots would question your place in the military. It was a learning curve for him to be around at first; seeing you go toe-to-toe with cocky pilots was daunting. He learned that's where your call sign came from, Bee. You were sweet, but could sting when you wanted. Soon, he got used to it, becoming more confident in himself in turn.
When you joked about bumming it on Phoenix's couch until you found a new place, Bob chimed in, "You can stay at mine. I have a spare bedroom, never really got around to using it."
"Wait, really?" you asked, fully turning your body towards him. You always did that, too, gave your full attention to whoever you were talking to. It was a bit intimidating. Bob was only now getting used to it, but still felt his heart beat pick up.
"Yeah, I wouldn't mind having a roommate," he said with a soft smile.
"Oh, Bobby, I could kiss you right now!" you said with a big grin, squeezing his forearm. He wished you had.
It wasn't until you had fully moved in that Bob realized the full consequences of his actions. You were horrible to live with.
Not in the way that you left dishes in the sink to "soak" all week, or you forgot to switch your laundry out for hours on end, or even in the way that you would blast music loudly at 2 in the morning. No, you didn't do any of those things. In fact, you always cleaned up after yourself, and Bob too, taking his plate right from his lap before he could protest. You cleaned the whole apartment, top to bottom, on Sundays. Your music carried throughout the hallways as you moved from room to room. Best of all, you baked! Every week! Trying a new recipe and being a little messy was your favorite way to unwind from a hectic work week, and lucky for Bob, he was your taste tester. Sure, you brought in your treats for the entire squad on Mondays, but Bob got to sit at the counter and watch you work. You would always gravitate towards him during this time, either letting him try the new brownie batter before you added more sugar or asking him how many chocolate chips are too many.
You were a great roommate. Always so courteous and kind. Anyone would be lucky to share a space like this with you. But it was torture actually living with you.
Too many times, Bob has caught a glimpse of you walking around in nothing but a shirt and some panties. To be fair, it was almost always after you had showered and were walking to your room. But as Bob watched you track down the hallway, he cursed himself for offering up the room in the first place.
And since moving in and getting closer, you had become even more touchy than usual with him. You were quick to give out hugs and other normal affectionate gestures to everyone on the squad, Bob included, even when he had only known you for a few weeks. But now, it was like Bob's personal space was your personal space. You always pressed into him when maneuvering around the small kitchen. Bob always held his breath, feeling you up against him, reaching for the oregano or paprika. Recently, too, your hand would work its way into his windswept hair after long days at the beach. The way your nails would drag against his scalp made him want to groan every time.
But worst of all were busy nights at the Hard Deck. On multiple occasions, barstools would fill up quick, only leaving the squad with two or three seats. It was fine for most of the night, with everyone so invested in the latest match of pool between Bradley and Jake. But after a few hours, you needed a break and always found your way into Bob's lap.
"I can get up, so you can sit," Bob stammered out the first time you sat on his lap. The rest of the squad shared amused looks, careful to hide them from both of you.
"It's okay, Bobby, I know you wanna sit too. Plus, you're comfy," you said, wiggling around trying to find the best position like he actively wasn't about to combust.
A bump of your hip snapped the man back into your kitchen. "Everything okay over there, space cadet?" you asked, tilting your head to look at him better.
"Mhm, yeah. I'm okay," he said in a small voice, the smile on his lips not quite reaching his eyes.
Furrowing your brows, you wondered what was making Bob so distant tonight. "You know you can always talk to me, right?" you offered with a small smile. People say that but rarely mean it. But you meant it, and you wanted him to know that. He just nodded his head and continued stirring the boiling pasta. "Okay, Bobby. I'm here when you want to talk," you said as you rubbed up and down his back. You swore you saw a chill run up his spine.
You watched the way his face continued to fall as you worked on dinner. Bob was always quieter than you, so gentle and sweet. But you hoped whatever was bothering him would go away, or that he would talk to you about it at least. As the night continued, he gave you those small smiles, and your worry just grew.
ŕŞââ´
"Why don't you just ask Bee?" Phoenix questioned as she grabbed the drink Penny put on the bar top. The Hard Deck was busy with patrons in all corners of the joint.
"I can't just ask her!" Bob squeaked out; he felt his cheeks flush at the thought of it.
"Why not? Because you have a crush on her? Come on, Bob," she teased him with a shit-eating grin on her face. She watched him slump against the bar as if she had just punched him in the gut. "If you won't take me, then why not Bee?"
Bob sighed, given that they had this conversation almost every day. Before training, after training, and even during training. Even the clear blue skies weren't safe from Natasha's questions. "It's not like I don't want to take you. But my parents know you. They're expecting me to bring someone home, y'know."
"Someone to give them grandchildren," Phoenix cackled as Bob groaned loudly. Penny placed his fizzy soda on the bar with a smile, knowing all about the man's debacle. Natasha thanked her, and they made their way back to the squad.
"Don't say that! I don't even, I can't even think- Oh jeez, Phoenix. No more talking about this. I've decided." The pilot swore she had never heard his voice that pitchy before. Bob shook his head as he wove through the crowd of people.
Once they had settled back into the fray of the squad, Natasha finally took to giving actual advice, not just teasing her back-seater. "I think you should just be honest, tell her. It's Bee."
"Oh yeah, let me just tell her I've been in love with her for months on end now. She's gonna think I'm a creep! Luring her into my apartment, making her live with me," he half shouted, half whispered at her. "And I also said, I didn't want to talk about this. Especially with her right there." Bob glanced at you laughing freely with Bradley, head thrown back. Your energy was contagious to the people around you, as he saw Bradley and Mickey spotting matching smiles. Bob found himself smiling to himself, too.
"She wanted to live with you, idiot. And I'm not saying confess your love. Just ask for this favor. You don't have to give anything away if you don't want to," she said matter-of-factly. If only it were that easy. Within minutes of you being in his childhood home, Bob would surely fold and show all the feelings he's been trying so hard to hide. One conversation and approving nod from his mother, and he'd propose on the spot.
The pair were too entrenched in their conversation to see you making your way over. You didn't mean to snoop, but you couldn't help overhearing snips of their chatter.
"I just don't know what I'm going to do. I have to tell Ma I'm not bringing anyone," Bob muttered, dragging a hand down his jaw.
"To the wedding?" You whipped around and saw Bob's eyes almost pop out from behind his glasses. Phoenix, however, let a mischievous glint dance on her face as she watched the two of you. Directing your attention back to Bob, you continued, "Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop. But if you need someone, I'll go."
Natasha let out the biggest cackle you had heard; it even caught a few of the other aviators' attention. She looked to Bob, who seemed to be frozen in time, and decided she would do her best friend a solid.
"His family is expecting a girlfriend. That's why Bob is having such a hard time," she explained. But you just furrowed your brows further at this.
"I'll be your girlfriend," you said. At this, Bob nearly fell off his barstool. "I mean, I can be your pretend girlfriend for a week. I'm really good with parents and family and stuff. And we know each other well, too! I'm sure we'd be a convincing couple. So, yeah. If you need someone." Suddenly, you felt awkward under his gaze. You definitely gave it away. Who just proclaims they'd be someones fake girlfriend?
You met Jake's gaze from across the pool table and saw him biting down on his bottom lip, trying to suppress the grin on his face. Flashing a 'Help me!' face in his direction, the blonde man made his way over to you.
"Offering your fake girlfriend services again, Bee?" he asked with a raised brow. Both Phoenix and Bob shot him quizzical looks. "Bee came out to dinner with my folks when they were in town a few weeks ago. They were on me about not settling down, but she quelled those fears. Swear I've never seen my mom fall in love faster."
"Really?" Bob asked, looking between both of you. "You met his parents?" A flash of hurt crossed his face. You had missed it completely, but both Hangman and Phoenix caught the distress on his face.
"That's perfect! Right, Bob? Bee would be great," she hit his arm, trying to snap him out of what Jake had just said. The three of you looked at Bob, waiting for his response.
He nodded slowly before responding, "Yeah, I mean, if you're okay with missing the full week. I'd love to take you." Natasha grinned at his recovery, mentally noting to pat him on the back about it later.
"I can talk to Maverick about it tomorrow. I'd love to come," you said bashfully. Jake smiled knowingly at your response. He locked eyes with Natasha and winked. The woman just rolled her eyes but got the signal.
"When was the last time I beat you in pool Hangman? I think my trophy needs a little dusting off," she challenged, gaining the attention of the squad and taking it off Bob and you.
"Looking for a rematch? I'm happy to oblige," Jake said in a sickeningly sweet tone. He stepped closer so only she could hear the next part of his sentence, "I'll win this game, just like I'll win our bet."
"In your dreams, Seresin," she scoffed. "Rack 'em!"
ŕŞââ´
Jake's couch had become a second home to you at this point. Its cushions surely remembered the way you would slump into them every weekend. Being Jake's back-seater was a challenge at first; you were never one to back down, and neither was Jake. It wasn't until you both had figured out that instead of going up against each other, you could turn your focus on the pilots around you. So as time went on, you bonded over your love for college football, dad rock, and surprisingly, the Great British Bake Off.
"Oh come on, Tom! No one is going to win with a ganache like that," Jake exclaimed from the end of the couch. There was no quippy response from you, and Jake raised an eyebrow in your direction. You had been like this all week. Mopey and weird. Your usual trash talk to other pilots or Maverick was replaced with a stone-cold face. It was just as intimidating, but Jake knew something was up.
Clutching the throw pillow in your arms, you couldn't even focus on the monstrosity that was Tom's cake on your screen. No, all that ran through your head was how you were going to contain yourself around Bob and his family. In just two days.
With a whack, fabric came flying on top of your head.
"Ow! Jake!" you exclaimed, immediately putting your arms up to protect yourself from further attacks.
"Jake! Don't Jake, me," he sassed you, only making the pout in your lips grow deeper. "What is going on with you? Is this still about Baby on Board?"
"Don't call him that," you grumbled, taking your pillow and whacking him across the chest.
He just rolled his eyes and continued, "Seriously, you need to get it together. Baby on Board and his family are expecting a perfect girlfriend, and right now, you're this."
You scowled at him as he chastised you. "Jake, that's mean. I just," you sighed before continuing. "I just don't know how I'm going to do this. A whole week? He'll know!"
Your dramatics were nothing new to Jake, but when it came to Bob, it seemed like you dialed it up tenfold. "This opportunity has been placed in your lap. I think you should take advantage of it, embrace it," he suggested.
"That's easier said than done," you mumbled.
This upcoming week made you queasy just thinking about it. It wasn't that you didn't want to go to meet Bob's family. No, you wanted all of it. But not like this. From the first day you met Bob, you knew you were in for it. His cute glasses and sweet smile almost had you confessing by the end of the first week.
When he asked you to move in with him, you had happily agreed. But as the arrangement unfolded, you realized what kind of agony would be in store for the near future. The way he always carried in all the groceries, not letting you lift a finger. How he always drove you, never letting you sit behind the wheel, no matter what kind of day he had. And he was so handy around the apartment, too. One day, the garbage disposal in your kitchen stopped working, and just as you were about to call someone, Bob brought over his tool kit and got down on his knees. It was way more attractive than it needed to be.
But these little daily pains were nothing compared to what you had walked in on about a month ago. You were about to go on your daily run with Phoenix when she called you from the car to cancel. Turning your keys and walking back into the house, you slipped off your sneakers and began padding down the hallway towards your room.
Just as you were about to head into your room, there was an odd sound. At first, you thought it was the apartment, settling, or something that people always say when a building makes noise. But as you paused, clutching your shoes and phone close to you, you knew it was something else. It was him.
His moans were unmistakable, so vocal and loud. And you froze. For a few seconds, you just stood there, listening. Listening to Bob falling apart. The schlepping of his hand against himself was unmistakable. The rocking of the bed, too. You had to peel yourself away from this. Away from his noise. So that's what you did.
You tried to forget it. But a part of you wanted to remember, as horrible as that sounds. You hadn't been able to look Bob in the eye for a few days after, and when you did, the heat in your tummy would start again.
The thought of sharing this week with Bob was more daunting than any mission you had ever faced.
"Hey! Are we going to watch this episode, or are you just going to sit and stew the whole night?" Jake's voice snapped you out of your thoughts.
"Sorry, just a little worried still," you said quietly. Jake had never seen you like this before, so in your own head.
He slid down the couch and placed an arm around your shoulder. "Hey, it's okay. Everything will be okay, I promise. Your biggest worries right now should be if Tom can figure out his presentation for the judges."
You giggled at his teasing. "Fucking, Tom," you murmured under your breath.
"Yes, fucking, Tom! God, he's selling it!" Jake boomed next to you, throwing you into another fit of laughter. "Seriously, Bee. Don't worry too much about this week."
"I will be texting you live updates every hour, I hope you know," you said with a grin.
"Wow, only hour updates. I was expecting every 5 minutes," Jake teased, poking into your sides. You just swatted his hands away, fighting off a smile.
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Stepping onto the packed dirt and smelling the fresh Montana air was a relief to Bob. The picturesque mountain ranges were illuminated by the strong moonlight, and the sky was lit up by thousands of twinkling stars. It was something to get lost in, and that's exactly what Bob found as he turned to look at you. "It's so beautiful," you said, eye going a little wide, and your voice was quiet. Bob figured it was from your hours of traveling, maybe partly from the awe of the view.
Without looking away from you, he responded, "Very beautiful."
Bob's moment of peace with you was interrupted by a swift closing of the front door and a cheery voice. "Bob! Oh, honey, you made it safe!" an older, but spry woman ran up to Bob. You looked at the pair as they embraced and caught a look at them, side by side. Bob was much larger than the woman, towering over her. His arms stood out against her frame as your eyes trailed across his large muscles and hands without even realizing what you were doing. And his nose, it was the same as the woman who stood next to him. The cute button was something you always caught yourself looking at when tracing the map of his face.
A squeal snapped you out of your daze, and you were quickly met with a tight hug and a rushed introduction of Bob's mother's name, Pam. "Oh wow! You must be Bee! You are so gorgeous. I don't know why Bob kept you hidden from us for so long." She leaned back a bit and took you in, dragging her hands across your frame and face. You giggled at her ministrations.
"Thank you for having me this week. I'm so excited to get to know you all," you said with a sweet smile.
"Oh, we are so happy to have you, Bee! Such a cute little nickname, you don't mind?" she asked, but continued on anyway. "We were a little worried about Bob for a while there. Honestly, never thought he would-"
Bob's eyes widened, knowing the long list of stories his mother could tell you. "Alright! Alright, let's not talk about all that just yet," he cut her off with a blush that dusted his cheeks.
"Honestly," you started, gaining the attention of both Bob and his mother. "Bob is the best thing that's ever happened to me. You raised such a kind and thoughtful man. I'm so thankful for him." Your eyes met his as you spoke, sharing a look of genuine care. Pam caught the way you looked at her son and smiled knowingly.
"Well, you two had better head on up to bed. Your Pa is sleeping, but he'll be up bright and early. And everyone will be over tomorrow night to meet you, Bee," Pam said, finally letting you out of her grasp. Instead, she placed a hand on your lower back to guide you inside.
You turned to grab some of your bags to take inside, but instead saw Bob balancing all of your luggage in his hold, just the same as when you left the apartment and at the airport. He shot you a look, telling you to head inside. You rolled your eyes, but mouthed 'thank you' as you kept walking with his mother.
She led you to a small bedroom upstairs in the rustic-looking house. It was cosy, a queen bed with golden colored quilt, a small adjoining bathroom, and a small window with lace curtains. She gave you another quick hug and whispered 'goodnight' before heading back down the stairs to bed.
Bob set down your bags and let out a deep breath.
"You okay? Wanna shower first? You had a long day," you said, a hand coming to his shoulder and rubbing it sweetly. He melted into your touch, unconsciously leaning into you.
"No, no. You go first, I'll be okay," Bob said softly, trailing off a bit towards the end. You had been traveling since that morning, and you could tell how tired the man in front of you was. Your flight was a few hours long, and since his family didn't live in Bozeman or Billings, Bob had to rent a car and drive 3 more hours out to the small town.
"Bobby, go shower and get ready for bed. I'll unpack and lay out the clothes for tomorrow." You took your hands and placed them on both sides of his shoulder, pushing him into the bathroom as he chuckled lowly.
Bob gave you a tired, but grateful look before he closed the bathroom door carefully. Today had been long, but seeing the way you interacted with his mother made it all worth it.
Stepping under the warm stream of water, Bob felt his muscles relax instantly. He didn't want to take long in the shower, knowing you were waiting for him, but he also needed a few moments to himself. Reflecting on your day together, Bob felt himself getting half hard at the thought of you.
On the plane ride over, you had fallen asleep against his shoulder, your body angling into his. With your odd positioning, your tits were pressed right up against him for the majority of the flight. It took everything in him to keep his gaze straight ahead on the action movie playing on the little screen in front of him and not your soft, full chest.
His right hand drifted down, gripping himself firmly.
And your hair. You had been tucked right under his chin, and the scent of your shampoo was overwhelming. Sometimes, Bob would catch a whiff of it floating down the hallway after your showers, but now it was coming at him in waves. He felt like such a creep, but what was he supposed to do? Push you away from him? Bob didn't know the next time you would get so close to him.
Now, his cock stood proud under the stream.
In the car ride over, you had made it a point to keep him company since it was so late at night. Finding a radio station that played old country music, you began to sing along to almost every song that played. After the fourth song, Bob knew it wasn't a fluke that you knew all the lyrics so well. You explained that your college roommate was from Wyoming and was constantly playing her music in the dorms.
Bob knew he needed to keep his eyes on the road, but he couldn't help the way he looked over to your figure sitting beside him. Your lips moving along to whatever song was playing, your thighs pressed up against the leather seat of the truck, and the way your hand would occasionally find its way to his upper back, rubbing soft, smooth circles into it, all drove him to glance over at your sweet face.
His pace was steady now.
Bob felt so dirty, touching himself like this with you, only a thin wall away. But he knew if he didn't do it now, he wasn't sure when he would get a chance this week. So he hunched over the corner of the shower, trying to focus on anything but you. But like every time before this one, Bob's mind only wandered to thoughts of you.
What would you look like with water cascading down your tits? Or how your back would arch into the tile of the shower as he fucked you from behind. Best of all, how your face would twist with pleasure as he drilled into you, making you cum all over his thick cock.
That's what always got him to finish. Thinking about you, your pleasure. He caught the groan in his throat before it sounded, instead biting down on his free fist, whining lowly.
After cleaning up fully, Bob looked around the bathroom and realized he hadn't brought any clean clothes in with his. Wrapping the towel around his waist, he stepped out sheepishly.
At the creak of the bathroom door, you looked up from your place on the ground. You were met with Bob's nearly bare form. Water droplets from his hair were dripping down his shoulders, finding their way down his chest and waist. As you tracked one of the droplets, your eyes stopped when they met his waist. Bob's v-line was even better than you had imagined, and you had thought about it a lot.
He had an aversion to taking his shirt off around others, and that was reasonable. Especially in front of a bunch of macho, testosterone-fueled Navy men. But you had always wondered what he looked like under the kaki uniform he wore so often. Seeing it up close almost had you drooling.
"Forgot a change of clothes," he explained in a quiet voice. You just hummed, not trusting your voice. Pushing up off the ground and padding over to the dresser, you opened a drawer, and Bob found all of his clothes folded and set perfectly. His heart warmed at the thought of your delicate fingers working across all the clothing he had packed for the week. You had obviously taken care of his stuff first, as your luggage was still open on the floor.
Bob grabbed a change of clothes and kept his voice at the same quiet tone, "Thank you, Bee." You smiled up at him, staring a bit too long. But quickly, you fumbled to grab your nightwear from your bag and made your way into the bathroom.
Bob dropped the towel from his waist and began to dress. He didn't miss the way your eyes trailed down his body, and honestly, it made his stomach flip. Just as he was about to lie down and call it a night, he realized you hadn't discussed the bed situation. Bob would never want to make you uncomfortable, so he shuffled down the hall and found his way into the spare linen closet, grabbing a fluffy comforter and some blankets to lie down on the floor beside the bed.
Not too long after, you emerged from the bathroom and furrowed your brows at the sight of the empty bedroom, expecting to see Bob knocked out on the bed from such a long day.
"Down here," Bob's voice startled you as his hand shot up in a lazy wave from the other side of the bed.
"Bob? What are you doing?" you asked the man, walking over to see him laying down on the makeshift bed he had set up on the hardwood floor.
He rubbed the back of his neck, not quite meeting your eyes. "Didn't want to make you feel like we needed to share the bed or anything like that."
"We've literally fallen asleep on the couch together," you said, narrowing your eyes as a teasing smile made its way to your face at his chivalry. "I don't mind sharing the bed at all, Bobby. And that can't be comfortable."
"No, no. Ma's got the best blankets. Feels like a cloud," Bob explained with a soft smile.
You narrowed your eyes at the man before speaking, "With you back? Do you remember earlier today when we got off the plane?"
Bob recalled the moment of weakness. He had stretched out a bit too far after sitting for hours on end and felt a tug throughout his body, wincing a little. You had fused over him for the next 30 minutes, almost refusing to get in the car if you couldn't drive. But Bob, of course, got his way.
He looked as if he was about to argue with you. Bob was hardheaded sometimes, but you knew just the right thing to say to knock him out of it.
"Plus, if your mom comes to wake us up and she sees you sleeping on the floor, everything would be ruined," you offered. Seeing a look of recognition flash across his face, he nodded slowly, like he was considering your words. "Come on, Bobby. I'll help you fold everything and put it back."
You giggled as he sprang up from the floor, a hand already coming down to his lower back.
"I knew your back was going to hurt! Comfy my ass," you said, smacking him lightly across the chest. He just smiled at you, joining in with some soft chuckles that warmed your heart.
Curling into bed, you felt sleep hit you almost immediately. Letting your eyelids droop, part of you wanted to stay up and think about tomorrow. To pick Bob's brain about who might show up. Worry about what they would think of you. But the sound of Bob's voice made your heart slow and breathing even out.
"G'night, Bee. Thank you again for coming with me," Bob told you, not even sure if you were lucid enough to hear him.
"Anything for you, Bobby. Goodnight," you said in the softest voice he thinks he's ever heard from you. Your words slurred a little and were definitely muffled by the pillow, but he still heard you. He saw your eyelashes flutter across your cheeks as you settled into sleep. The way your mouth opened slightly, lips parting so delicately. How your body seemed to curl into itself, making you look so small and fragile.
Wishing to hold you close to his chest like earlier today on the plane or to grasp your hand to hold in his sleep, Bob just stayed up for a few minutes longer to watch your sleeping form. Soon enough, his thoughts of you became muddy and distant as sleep took over, claiming you both now.
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Bob had awoken to soft beams of sunlight streaming through the lace curtains. Everything was quiet, and Bob let himself lie for a moment, taking in the peace. Just as he was about to stretch and get up, he looked to his side and saw you.
Your cheek was still flushed up against the pillow, and your hair was in a bit of a mess as it rubbed on the fabric. It wasn't rare that Bob got to see you relax, but it was rare to see you completely void of all concerns. Usually, you were still holding some type of resistance in your shoulders or furrowing your brows slightly, even when lying across the couch at the end of the day. But now, you looked completely free. He smiled a bit at this.
Like you had sensed him mentally tracing the outline of your nose or the apples of your cheeks, suddenly your eyelashes fluttered, and you opened your eyes.
"G'morning, Bobby," you half mumbled-half whispered into your pillow. You weren't sure he understood you until hearing his telltale chuckle that was seemingly reserved for you.
"Morning, Bee," he said softly, voice a little deeper than usual. You chalked it up to the morning hours, but it still made your tummy flip. "Did you sleep well?"
"Mhm," you hummed. Bob saw that you made no effort to move from your comfortable position and chuckled again.
He often teased you for being so out of it in the mornings, but Bob had never seen you so unguarded. On the weekends you had off from training, you would usually pad into the kitchen, eyes still a little puffy and your movement still a little soft. There was one time Bob had to quickly intervene before you poured your coffee into your cereal bowl instead of your mug. But right now was different.
"Don't laugh," you grumbled. "Need like five more minutes. Or maybe ten."
Just as Bob was about to say okay and lie back under the covers with you, he heard a familiar pattern of steps making their way up the hallway.
"I'm afraid you're not going to get that, Bee," he spoke, seeing your brows fold in on themselves at his words. But soon, the bedroom door opened, and Pam was rushing to hug you good morning.
"I can see Bob has been soft on you, letting you sleep in," she joked as you shot up in the bed to meet her embrace. "We Floyds are early risers! Better start building the habit now."
"Oh, I know. Bob's up every morning at the crack of dawn, it feels like. Always hear him trying to be so quiet around the apartment," you said with a yawn as she drew away from you. Bob's cheeks heated at the thought of you being so in tune with his morning routine.
"Well, I won't rush you this morning, but breakfast will be ready in 20 minutes. Then we'll head into town afterwards, alright, Bee?" she said with a fond smile on her face. You nodded your head, saying a quick thank you as she closed the door and left.
The room was silent for a few seconds as you and Bob shared a small smile and knowing look at what had happened. "I'm only getting up early for her this week, Floyd. Don't expect any new habits when we're back home," you joked, a teasing smile on your face.
"Oh, I know. Wouldn't want to disrupt your morning routine of inside-out jeans and backwards shirts," Bob said with full seriousness as he pushed the covers off his body.
"Whatever that happened like one time," you said, pursing your lips. Hearing his laughter fill the air made your face flush with embarrassment. "One time! It was one time!"
Your protests at his teasing had no effect. Instead, Bob's laughter seemed to increase ten-fold as he doubled over in the bed.
"Bob, stop! It was one time!" you whined now. "You said it wasn't that bad."
His laughter subsided as he began to speak, "I know, I know." There was a silence that lasted for a few seconds until he spoke again, "But it was so funny, Bee." With that, Bob burst out laughing again as you half groaned, half laughed loudly.
From the kitchen, Pam smiled to herself, hearing her son's laughter carry throughout the house.
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That night, like Pam had promised, Bob's extended family was over. Honestly, Bob was a little worried for you. His family could be a lot, and given that this was the first time he had brought anyone home, he expected everyone to poke and prod at you. But as his family filed into the house, your bright smile had never faltered.
Sometime after dinner but before dessert, Bob had lost you in the crowd of Floyds. He had walked through the house about ten different times at this point, looking for you, but you were nowhere to be found. Seeing the worried look on his face, his father gently grasped his son's shoulder to gain his attention.
"She's outside," he said lowly. Bob nodded and walked with purpose towards the back porch. His mind racing, thinking of all the possibilities that would've pushed you to escape outside. Were you crying? Was this all too overwhelming? Did someone ask you a rude question? Had you finally gotten sick of him? Sick of this role you were playing?
Right as he was about to push the door open, Bob paused. He saw you outside, but you weren't alone.
Gathered around you in the grassy field was a gaggle of small children, all laughing and smiling. Bob couldn't tell exactly what you were playing with the children, but after one of his younger cousins ran up to you and tapped your hip, he understood immediately. Bob smiled to himself, seeing you take off into a run as all the children screamed joyfully.
"She's sweet. Reminds me of your mother." Bob was snapped out of his trance as his father spoke. "Good job, son," he added, hand coming to clap softly on Bob's back.
Bob felt his heart race watching you. He knew you were perfect, living with you and being best friends had proven it to him. But he had never seen you like this, so carefree and thoughtful. Sure, there were nights when Jake or Bradley would get a bit too carried away at the Hard Deck, and you would be right by their side, taking care of them. But it wasn't even close to this.
Bob saw you chase around the children, never gaining too fast on the younger kids, but still giving the older ones a run for their money. He watched as all the kids gravitated towards you, all of their smiles and laughs being thrown your way. And Bob understood this feeling deeply. He had always felt a pull towards you. It came out in various ways, like always finding your eyes when Coyote would say something outrageous during training. Or bursting out into synchronized laughter whenever Jake would ultimately lose another game of pool to Nat. And his favorite was the way you would find your way over to Bob whenever you were in a large group. You could talk to Jake or joke around with Bradley, but whenever the full Dagger Squad was together on a crowded night at the Hard Deck, you were glued to Bob's side. These moments let him know that you were undeniably in each other's orbit.
Finally, Bob pulled open the door and walked out to you and your new friends.
"Uncle Bob!" one of the children exclaimed. You whipped around, seeing Bob walking up to you with a small smile on his face.
"Thought I lost you in there," he joked. You smiled, not speaking but walking closer to meet him in the middle. He met your kind eyes, but upon looking into them further, he squinted a little at you. Just as he was about to step back, you lunged forward.
"Tag! You're it!" you blurted out, giggling as you sprinted in the opposite direction. The children seemed to follow your example, all shrieking and laughing as Bob took off.
Suddenly, you heard little cries of your name. Turning around, you saw Bob gaining on you. Before you knew it, his hands grasped your waist, picking you up a few inches off the ground, bringing you into his chest.
Tucked close into him now, you felt his breath on the back of your neck. The heaving of his chest against your back had you squirming. "Can't get away that easily," his voice close to your ear. Biting down on your lip, careful to not let the whine out, you felt your tummy flip at the position he had you in.
You had come outside to escape, yes. But not from Bob's never-ending list of uncles or aunts. From him.
During dinner, he had been nothing but kind to you. Caring. Attentive. And it had been like that all day. From when you left the house and went into town with him and his mother, you hadn't as much as blinked before Bob made sure you didn't have to lift a finger. Sure, he had done this to a certain extent back in California, not letting you open the door or always opening glass jars for you when in the kitchen together. But today was a different level.
Pam insisted on getting you a pair of real, genuine cowgirl boots. She marched you into "Jesse's Boots & Shoes" and immediately sat you down on one of the little benches. After gathering what seemed like half the merchandise in the store, she came back to you with stacks of boxes full of different types of boots.
As you began to bend down to untie your shoes, Bob suddenly appeared in front of you. On his knees.
"I got it, don't worry," he said, before delicately unlacing your shoes. His large, warm hand flew up underneath your calf, and the other shimmied off your shoe. Then he looked up with that sweet smile and repeated the whole process on your other foot. You could've sworn you saw Pam snap a picture.
Later in the day, you made it back to the house and were helping Pam fix up some lunch. She handed you a big yellow onion and a kitchen knife, but before you could even take hold of the wooden handle she had outstretched to you, Bob had rushed into your view. Stealing the onion out of your right hand and gently pushing you out of the way of the cutting board, you looked at him incredulously.
"I know how watery your eyes get. I got it, just go sit down," he offered with that same sweet smile.
"I can cut one onion, Bobby," you said, playfully trying to grab the onion from his hand. He just raised his hands above his head, ensuring you wouldn't be able to reach him.
"I got it, Bee. Don't try to argue," he challenged, raising his brows. Huffing, you rolled your eyes, but couldn't help the small smile that was creeping on your face.
Pam once again snapped a picture. This time, giggling to herself a bit like she knew this was going to happen.
The third time was right before everyone had arrived. You were upstairs, checking your hair one last time and making sure your outfit looked okay, when you noticed you had forgotten to put your necklace on this morning.
After retrieving the delicate piece from the bathroom, Bob had seemingly appeared. Seeing the jewelry in your hand, he walked forward with purpose, holding out his palm. You raised an eyebrow at his actions.
"Seen you do it a million times," he started. "Let me."
You nodded, not trusting your voice once again, dropping the piece into his hand. Softly, his free hand came down to your hip, guiding you to turn around.
Then, you felt his arms go around your shoulders, not touching, but there. It was so quiet in that moment. The only noise you could hear was the creaking of the old house and Bob's soft breathing close to your ear. It was distracting. Maddening, after the day you had.
Clasping the necklace around you, his hands dropped. Turning back around, you were met, once again, by the same sweet smile.
"You look beautiful, Bee," he told you before backing out of the room. "I'll be downstairs whenever you're ready."
Driven outside, you had wanted to sit on the porch for a bit. Think about what this weekend really meant for you. For Bob. For your friendship. But your plans were quickly interrupted after feeling a little tug on your leg and hearing a quiet invitation to a game of tag.
"Robert Floyd, you'd better let go of that girl! We've got apple pie coming out the oven!" Pam's voice drew you back into the heart-racing position you were in. Bob was quick to set you down, smoothing his hands over your hips in an effort to fix the creases in your dress that his hold had caused. But you saw the raging blush that crossed his face and burst out into a fit of giggles, and soon, all of his younger cousins were doing the same thing.
"I think this might be your inside-out jean moment," you teased with a smile, seeing the blush turn to a darker shade.
"Not funny," he said sternly, but you could tell he was trying to hold back a laugh.
"Mm, I recall saying something earlier this morning like that." You grinned at him, walking closer to the house, but your body was still fully facing the man in front of you. "But Bobby, it's so funny!" you laughed, throwing your head back. Bob couldn't help but smile, even if it was at the expense of his own actions.
What neither Bob nor you realized was the crowd of onlookers peaking through the windows, watching as Bob Floyd was struck with a look of love.
ŕŞââ´
You had been right. The look before the first kiss was the best part of a wedding. Bob doesn't remember the last time he'd seen his older brother so giddy.
You, on the other hand, had missed it completely. Looking at the man who sat next to you instead. You saw the way the corners of Bob's mouth pulled upwards, smiling brightly.
The week had gone smoothly, both of you getting away with touches that were a little more lingering than usual or looks that called for a deeper conversation. To Bob's family, this looked like restraint, manners, and control. To you, this was torture, heartache, and suppression. You didn't know how many more instances of Bob's big hand on the small of your back you had in you before you broke completely. His gentle guidance and care throughout the week had been something that you reveled in. Returning to California, returning to normalcy, it all seemed so distant.
Sipping some champagne, you sat with Bob at the reception. Stringed bulbs lit up the night. Bright colors popped from all of the flowers that seemed to be placed on every table. And sweet music filled the air, inviting everyone to dance.
Bob studied your face under the night sky and limited lighting. You were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Dread filled his heart, though. The thought of this week just being a glimpse into what life would be like if he got up the courage to ask you to be with him weighed heavily on his heart.
Going to bed with you every night was something Bob didn't even know he was missing, but now he craved it so deeply. Being able to talk to you and share his thoughts with you right before bed. Getting to hear you ramble on, either about your worries or joys, was something he began to love more than anything. The way your voice would begin to taper, become gentle, when you were truly tired and ready for sleep. How you supported your face under your small palm while talking with him in the dark. How your eyes would become glassy and glazed over as you finally hit the pillow. These moments became precious to him.
"All couples! Head to the dance floor now! Tell your partner how much you care about them, and let's dance!" The DJ's voice broke Bob's train of thought. Without thinking, he rose out of his seat and offered you a hand.
Sheepishly, you took it, letting him guide you.
A soft, slow melody filled the air as you began to take your place with Bob. His hands brushed your hips, stiff, like he was in middle school, and it was his first time slow dancing. You chuckled a little under your breath.
"What's got you laughing now?" he asked, soft and sweet. Eyes searching yours with intensity you had only seen from him this week.
You looked at him for a moment and just grinned, like you knew something he didn't.
"Just so stiff, Bobby. Relax," you told him, pushing into his space a little more. Your hands found their way around his shoulders, palms settling on the broad plain of his back. Now, your face met his chest, and you melted into him.
Bob felt the sway of your hips and the light movement of your feet. If it wasn't for you, he would've stood still, not knowing what to do with you like this. Sure, he had danced like this before. But it was never this intimate. This deep. This connected.
At any moment, Bob felt like he was going to let the words spill out of him. Tell you how he was really feeling. It seemed so easy.
The way you interacted with his family. Cooking with his Ma, talking about college sports with his Pa. Even the way you talked with his brother and sister-in-law. Though it was brief, you made an immediate connection. You and his sister-in-law, chatting away like you had grown up together. And he didn't miss the way his older brother shot him a look of surprise, but approval.
But it wasn't just about them. It was also about the way you just fit so well into his life. Sure, you weren't an early riser, and Bob had learned this weekend that you weren't the best with large animals, but he didn't mind. If being with you meant slow mornings where you would coax him back to bed, hands grasping for him to come lie with you beneath the sheets, he'd be okay with that. More than okay. And if the biggest animal you owned was a chocolate lab, that would be okay by him, too.
Slowly, his large hands came around your waist, more secure and grounded. And Bob closed his eyes, letting out a deep breath. Taking in this moment with you was the most important thing to him.
You danced under the twinkling lights and stars, no concern for the people around you. No concern that this was fake, that it was all pretend. Because right now, it felt real.
Hearing the thump of Bob's heart calmed you. It was grounding you, just like the gentle guitar in the background. You swayed like that for a while, but eventually the pounding of his heart and the steadiness of his figure became all too much. While the music swelled, so did your chest. Heaving up and down at a much more rapid pace.
Bob, feeling the sudden shift in your energy, pulled back, but just slightly. Still close enough to hear the hitch in your breath, to see the quiver of your bottom lip.
Your eyes blinked rapidly. Looking up at Bob seemed like an impossible task. But with a gentle touch to your chin, you did.
"Bee?" he asked softly. Concern written across his face.
"I'm sorry," you said, even quieter. With slow moments, you pressed your lips to his.
Your lips were softer than he imagined. The way your lips slotted between his was like second nature. And before you could pull back, he learned in deeper. Taking the hand that was under your chin and pressing it into the back of your head. Meeting you in the kiss, he pressed closer to you, and you felt the strong hold he had on your hip.
Bob wanted so badly to lick into your mouth, to mix your spit. But he restrained himself upon feeling the slight jump below his waist.
The solid kiss made your tummy turn in a way you didn't think was possible. Something deeper took hold of you as you melted, once again, into the man in front of you. The heaving of your chest was still present, but now it was fueled by want rather than anxiety.
Pulling away slowly, your breathing was heavy. Your eyes searched his, trying to see what he was thinking. What would his reaction to your impulsivity be?
Before your question could be answered, you were being pulled by one of Bob's cousins, urging you to go line up for the bouquet toss.
Bob watched as you were ripped away from him. His hand came up to grab onto you, but his fingers slipped against the fabric of your dress. Your eyes widen, head whipping around to look at him. But just as quick, you broke your gaze.
ŕŞââ´
As soon as the door to the guest bedroom clicked shut, you immediately began apologizing.
"Bobby, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me, and I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking," you said, hands coming up to your face in an attempt to hide from him.
"Bee," Bob tried to cut in, but you could barely hear him over the sound of your racing heart and rambling words."
"I didn't mean to ruin this. Ruin this weekend and make you feel uncomfortable. Ruin what we have. Our friendship," you kept going, stomach now turning at the thought of losing Bob from your life.
"Bee," he started again, but still you weren't hearing a thing he said.
Your hands now rubbed nervously down your dress, like you were trying to wipe off what had happened earlier that night. "I'm gonna go take my stuff and sleep in the bathroom or something. You don't have to share a bed with me tonight. And if you want me to move out, I will. I'm sorry, I just, I don't know-"
"Bee!" Bob's voice startled you into silence. He stepped closer to you, reaching for your hands, trying to quell your nervous energy.
Bob's hand closed around your wrists. Your heart was beating out of your chest as you looked at your best friend.
"Tonight," he started, hand rubbing softly against yours. "What did the kiss mean?"
He took a deep breath as you just stared at him.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," you said, feeling tears well up in your eyes.
"I'm not mad, and I'm not uncomfortable. I just," he took another deep breath before continuing. "I just want to know what it meant to you. Why you did it."
A tear slipped down your cheek at his soft-spoken words.
"I love you," you said quietly as more tears fell from your eyes. "I kissed you because I love you. Because I'm in love with you. I'm sorry, Bobby."
You felt your world crumbling around you. Years of friendship, laughter, and good memories all seemed to blur past you. Surely, when you got back to California, Bob would ask you to move out. The thought made you sick to your stomach.
Bob stared at you, silent. He felt like he was dreaming. All week, he had been trying to tell you how he felt. Been trying to get the words out. And here you were, saying everything he was thinking.
His hands quickly came up to your face, wiping the tears away. You couldn't look at him, eyes closed and body closing in on itself.
"Bee, will you open your eyes, please. I just want to talk to you," Bob pleaded. "I need to tell you something. Need you to look at me."
You shook your head, starting to feel like everything was all too much. Of course, he was still being sweet to you. After everything, after all of what you said and did. The thought made more tears come to your eyes.
"Please, please look at me," he asked again, thumbs now stroking your cheeks. Bob could see the internal debate you were having as your lips pushed deeper into a pout.
But after a few seconds, you opened your eyes. Blinking away the last bit of tears, you tried to look at the man in front of you.
As soon as your eyes met his, Bob smiled at you sweetly. "I love you. I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner. And I'm sorry about this week. I should've told you how I was feeling, but I thought everything would go okay. That we could just go back to being normal after all this."
Your shoulders relaxed with his admission, your mouth opening just a bit to look at Bob in awe.
"But we can't," you said, voice still small. It made Bob's heart ache thinking about all that you were feeling this week, knowing he was feeling the same way.
"No, I don't think we can." His eyes dropped to your lips for a split second. If you weren't watching him so closely, you would've missed it.
Something in your stomach turned at the thought of kissing him again. Your chest began to rise and fall much like it had earlier.
Still holding your face in his hands, Bob leaned in slowly. Slow enough to let you pull away if this was something you didn't want. Slow enough that seconds felt like minutes.
Finally, your lips met for the second time that night. Less rushed than before and softer. Your eyes flutter shut at the feeling.
The kiss was sweet. Bob's heart was racing out of his chest, having you like this. He was content letting your lips brush up against each other in a soft manner. But each time you kissed, he got hungrier. It wasn't until you let a soft sound slip past your lips and into his that he pressed into you harder.
Suddenly, Bob was walking you backwards into the bed. You felt one of his hands leave your face and come down to the small of your back, pressing you closer to him.
"This okay?" he asked breathlessly as you nodded, not trusting your voice.
With that, Bob got to work on the zipper at the back of your dress. He felt your hands in his hair, on his arms, pulling him in closer. Finally, the dress dropped and you let it fall to the floor.
Bob's eyes scanned your body. Wearing the prettiest set of black lace underwear and a matching bra, he felt his stomach turn. You were perfect.
Quickly, his hands were all over your body as you fell back with him on the bed. Feeling his hard length grind down on your barely clad heat had you biting down on your lip. Bob worked his mouth against your neck, looking for the spot that would make you moan against him. His licking and biting made your legs tighten around his waist, pulling him even closer if possible.
"Please, Bobby. Need you," you whispered. His head shot up to take you in. Your eyes were blinking quickly, like you were struggling to keep them open. Your mouth parted slightly, like you couldn't take deep enough breaths. Your hair splayed out around you, like you were an angel come down from heaven.
"Want me to touch you?" Bob asked as you whined, head nodding. "Gonna have to be quiet for me, okay? I wanna help you."
"Okay, I'll be good. Promise," you said, eyes searching his. Waiting for his movements to change. Waiting for him to help you feel good.
His hands moved from your hips down to your heat. Only one hand cupping it at first, while the other worked at the back of your bra. Pushing into your underwear, Bob's big hand began to feel you everywhere. His thumb quickly found your clit, and you thought you were seeing stars as he rubbed it softly.
You felt the tightness of your bra loosen, and Bob's other hand quickly moved to take it off you completely. Seconds after, his mouth came down to your pebbled nipple, swirling his tongue around it, sucking it into his mouth.
Your jaw dropped at the feeling. His kisses and ministrations made your hips jump up into his hand. "Need more, wanna feel your fingers," you said softly, trying to keep your promise to him.
Popping his lips from your tits, Bob looked at you with darkened eyes. "Being so good for me. I can feel you, so wet for me," he praised you, but still, his hand made no effort to move further into your heat.
Your brows furrowed at this, and you propped yourself up to look at the man lying above you. "Bobby, please," you whispered, kissing his cheek sweetly.
There was no way he could resist you when you asked so sweetly. His hand made its way towards your opening, stretching your underwear a bit. Bob played with you a bit more, and you whined into the pillow next to you.
"Sorry, honey," he whispered into your ear. "Just love your little pussy so much."
Your jaw dropped at his dirty words and at the feeling of two of his fingers stretching out your heat. They felt so thick, and Bob knew exactly what he was doing, moving them with expert precision. Pushing in slow and deep, reaching your spot almost immediately, your back arched off the bed into his touch.
Bob watched as you crumbled at his touch. It had to be a dream. The way your tits heaved up and down made him dizzy. Your face, now driven into the pillow next to you, silencing your noises, made his cock jump from beneath his trousers. You lying on the bed, almost completely naked, and he still fully dressed, made him bite down on his lip hard.
He was trying to take his time with you. Be gentle. Get to know your body. But every noise that escaped you and every look of longing you shot him made his resolve crumble. He could spend hours like this, with you at his disposal to play with. But sweat beaded down his forehead in restraint. Bob had to know what your tight pussy felt like around his cock.
A hand on his bicep pulled Bob from his thoughts. He felt your pussy clench up at his fingers, and he instantly moved his thumb back up to your clit. The reaction was immediate. Your body curling off the body and into him, Bob leaned into you, taking one of your tits into his mouth again, sucking harshly this time.
"Oh, fuck," you whispered as your orgasm ran through you. You never knew your orgasms could be so intense, but with Bob's constant attention to your body, you had never felt better.
Delicately, he pulled his fingers from your entrance and leaned down to kiss you sweetly.
"You're so beautiful," Bob said breathlessly. Then he brought his fingers up to his mouth, and you felt your pussy throb all over again at the sight of him licking your slick from his fingers. "Taste so good, too," he said, popping his fingers from his mouth. "Can I taste you?"
You nodded, but apparently, this wasn't enough for him anymore.
"Wanna hear you," Bob spoke softly. "Killing me, not being able to hear all your cute noises."
"Sorry," you said bashfully. "Yes, please."
"Don't gotta say sorry. Doing so good for me, my beautiful girl." Bob leaned in to kiss you again, making you feel his want and warmth as he licked into your mouth. His mouth traveled down your body, stopping to suck dark marks into your throat and all over your tits. But you didn't stop him, not really caring about how you would cover them up in the morning. His nips and licks were much more convincing than anything your brain told you.
Finally making his way down to your heat, Bob pushed your underwear to the side. Licking a broad stripe with his flat tongue, he tried to feel all of you. Your thighs worked to close around him, but his strong hands came up to grip them just hard enough to remind you of his strength, but not hard enough to hurt you. Continuing, he kissed all over your heat, much like he had just licked into your mouth. The movements made you dizzy.
Focusing on your clit, you felt one of his hands leave your thigh and dive into your heat again.
"Bobby," you whined. Quickly slapping a hand over your mouth, remembering what you had promised him. He looked up at you, chuckling a bit at your movements. But the vibrations against your heat only made you squirm and cry out more.
Removing his mouth from your heat, he kissed your thighs sweetly.
"Need me to help you, honey?" he asked, voice low and eyes dark as they looked at you.
"Mhm, please," you whispered, still moving your hips against his fingers.
He smiled at your movements. "So needy," he whispered more to himself than anything. "Didn't think you'd be that way."
Your tummy flipped at his admission. Even if he hadn't explicitly said it, just thinking about Bob touching himself to the thought of you made your pulse race like crazy.
Pulling your underwear away from your heat, Bob tossed them across the room. His hands now moved to your waist, picking you up effortlessly, flipping you on your tummy softly.
Your neck craned back, a puzzled look on your face. But he was already meeting you half way, coming up to kiss you again and ask a question.
"This okay, honey?" Bob asked, one hand coming to raise your hips. Another guided a pillow beneath them. Your stomach turned at the thought of what he was about to do.
"Yeah, it's okay," you whispered. He smiled at this, placing a sweet kiss on the crown of your head. But soon, his hand was pushing your head into the pillow, tucking your hair behind your ears, making sure you were comfortable. But still, his hand came down to guide you into the plush surface beneath you.
Not seeing Bob and only feeling him was something you never thought you would love. But the way his hands dragged down your body, fingers toying with your body, and firmly kneading your ass made your breathing sharp and shallow. Bob made his way down to your heat once more, licks more confident and sure now.
Sure enough, you whined into the pillow underneath you, pushing your hips back into Bob as he continued to work at your entrance. His tongue pushed in and out of you, sucking harshly. Hands spreading your ass, allowing him to kiss you better, get deeper.
It was quick for you to feel the familiar tug in your tummy return, ready to snap at any moment. Snaking a hand under your tummy and to your clit, Bob worked diligently to make you feel good, rubbing tight, small circles.
Your hand flew back, trying to grasp at anything you could. Your fingers found his golden locks, and you gripped them tightly as you came for the second time that night.
After a few last licks, Bob kissed up your back, letting his body sink into you a bit. It wasn't until his kisses reached your neck that you felt his hard length straining against your ass.
"So good, honey," he whispered, placing sweet kisses against your hair once more. "Gonna go get a towel to clean you up, okay?"
Soon, he moved to shift off the bed. But you shot up, grabbing his forearm.
"What's wrong?" Bob asked, concern evident on his face as he looked at you. He wondered if it had been too much. He had indulged a little bit, but he thought that you were feeling good. Or maybe he was pulling away too soon, maybe you wanted to cuddle a bit more before he got up. But what you said next made his heart jump.
"Wanna feel you. Do you not want to?" you spoke softly, forehead creasing in on itself.
Bob smiled at your question, coming back into your space, pressing his lips to yours. You smiled into the kiss, too. Something about them was so sweet and gentle, but so deep and longing at the same time.
"Course I do, just didn't want to push anything," he spoke, pulling away a bit. "And, I don't have anything here. I didn't bring any condoms," Bob whispered the last bit, like it was a secret.
"I'm clean and on birth control," you offered with a small smile that Bob swore would be the death of him.
"Me too," he said, immediately backtracking at the sound of your giggles. "I mean clean. No birth control."
Your smile grew wider at his words. Even when Bob didn't mean to, he made you laugh, always making you feel good.
"Can I see you? Think it's a little unfair you're still dressed," you teased him. Even with the faint glow of the moon and the soft bedside lamp, you were able to see the way Bob's ears turned pink.
Without a word, he began to unbutton his shirt. Scooching toward him on the bed, your hands made quick work of his belt, button, and zipper. Bob would've laughed at your eagerness if he weren't feeling the exact same way. Kicking off his pants and underwear and whipping the shirt off over his head, Bob stood before. Your tongue peeked out a bit at the sight of him.
His abs are sculpted and molded to perfection; you were able to gawk at them more openly now than a few nights ago. As your eyes traveled further, you saw his V-line, prominent and defined. And his length stood proud in front of you. Chills ran down your spine at the thought of taking all of him. You leaned down, falling on your elbows before him. Kissing his pink tip, your tongue began to kitten lick at his head.
Bob groaned audibly at the sight in front of him. Your ass up, mouth working against his length, and eyes looking up at him for approval. This wasn't real, surely. Any minute now, he would wake up in bed, spoiled underwear once again. But as you moved to take his length further in your mouth, Bob couldn't deny what he was feeling.
Knowing that if you sucked his length much longer, he wouldn't last, Bob softly grasped your head in his hands, moving you away from his length and instead onto the bed like you once were.
Lying back on the bed, you watched as Bob moved over your body. Settling on top of you, you found yourself face-to-face with him. Smiling at him, your eyes met, and you couldn't help but laugh a bit to yourself.
"What's got you so happy?" Bob asked, leaning down to kiss your neck as you let the giggles flow freely. He smiled at you, the kisses sweet rather than searing like they were before.
"I just love you," you whispered. Bob's head shot up, dopey grin now on his face.
"I love you," he whispered back. Leaning down to kiss you again, you thought about how you would never get used to this. Just a few hours ago, you were anxiety-ridden with thoughts of losing your best friend to a dumb mistake. Now, all your nerves were still on fire, but for a different reason. Bob's lips worked against yours until you felt your tummy flip again, and it seemed he felt the same way; one of his hands moved down to grip his length. Guiding himself to your heat, you felt Bob shudder in your embrace, but his lips never left yours.
Bob groaned against your lips as he pushed into you. Only a few inches at first, seeing the way your body would react to him. Your chest heaved, and your eyes screwed shut at the unfamiliar feeling. But your hands pawed at his chest and back, trying to bring him closer to you.
"Doing okay, honey? Feel good?" Bob asked, watching your face for any signs of discomfort.
You whinnied a little as you answered, "Feels good. So good. You're so big."
"You can take it, can't you, honey?" Bob asked, pushing a bit more into you as your jaw dropped at the feeling. He was now kissing up and down your throat again, unable to keep himself away from your soft, dewy skin for too long.
The man felt you pulsed around him. Your heat seemingly needing more from him. Before Bob could ask, you spoke in a breathless whisper.
"More, please. I can take it."
With that, he pushed into you fully. Balls settling against your ass, pelvis meeting yours. His arms came around under your back, bringing you tight into his embrace. Bob made sure to hold onto you, made sure he was taking care of you.
When he started moving, it was filthy. The sounds couldn't be masked as he moved in and out of your heat at a steady pace, deep enough to be hitting your spot in just the right way. Your bodies began to sweat and shine under the soft bedroom light.
You tried biting down on your lip, tried to not let the sounds escape you, but it was no use. The way that Bob moved above you drew out soft, airy noises. Bob saw that you struggled to control yourself and fully feel pleasure, so he took matters into his own hands.
Placing a large hand over your mouth, Bob met your eyes. They shot wide open at first, maybe a flicker of embarrassment, but soon they became droopy again as you focused more on his thrusts into you.
"It's okay, honey," he leaned down to talk near your ear. "Know it feels good. Just gonna help you a little."
You nodded at his words, clenching around his length again. Your moans were now muffled behind his big hand. The feeling of Bob asserting himself over you made you dizzy. You knew he was confident and could take charge if need be, but this was something else. Bob worked with precision, seemingly adjusting to your every move. It wasn't long until his other hand left its spot on your hip and made its way down to your heat once more, circling your clit in what you now learned was your favorite way. His big thumb moved in tandem with his thrusts, and you opened your eyes to look at the man above you.
Bob, seeing the way your eyes glossed over, kissed your lips, briefly moving his hand before placing it back and speaking, "It's okay, I got you. Wanna feel you cum around me."
With that, the knot in your tummy unraveled. Shaking against Bob, you pushed your body as close to his as possible. Still working into you, Bob felt the way you squeezed his length and couldn't hold back anymore, coming to his high with you.
Slowly, Bob moved his hand from your mouth and instead stroked your hair, placing a kiss on your hairline. You smiled at his actions, despite being exhausted from your rigorous activities.
"I love you," Bob told you. He watched as you relaxed against the bed, shifting slightly to hold you better.
"I love you, Bobby. Thank you for inviting me this week," you said sweetly, sharing another kiss with him as he was still nestled inside you, neither of you moving to get up just yet.
He smiled at your words. Thinking back to this week and all that had happened, Bob was grateful you were by his side. From his rambunctious family to the quietness of rural Montana, you fit in perfectly. Bob couldn't wait to bring you back, properly this time.
ŕŞââ´
Like always, you and Bob went along with the squad's outstanding Saturday night plans at the Hard Deck, not caring that you had just gotten back to California a few hours prior. Jake grinned at the sight of you walking into the Hard Deck, hand in hand with Bob. He watched as Bob carefully guided you through the crowd of people, delicately holding onto your waist and shielding you from the rowdy patrons.
"Well, well, well," Jake teased as soon as you had both made your way over to the pool table full of aviators. "Looks like my plan worked."
Bob's brows furrowed at this, immediately looking to you.
"No way, Bagman, you aren't getting the credit for this," Phoenix chimed in, abandoning the game of pool.
Now it was your turn to look at Bob with confusion on your face.
"I was the one who sold Bee about the parents thing," Jake argued. You felt your face flush at his admission of your white lie.
"Well, I was the one hyping Bob up for weeks about getting her to come," Phoenix fought back. Bob closed his eyes, not thinking he could survive the look of amusement on your face.
Suddenly, both of your pilots turned to you.
"So who did it?" Phoenix asked. Both you and Bob looked at each other, puzzled.
"Oh come on," Jake said exasperatedly. "You know what were talking about. Who made the first move?"
The squad was silent, watching both you and Bob under a microscope, it seemed. A slight tilt of Bob's head in your direction made Jake cry out triumphantly, pumping his fists into the air.
"I knew it! I knew it! Suck it, Phoenix," Jake whooped as onlookers watched with amusement at his antics.
"Knew it?" Bob asked, almost scared for the answer.
Jake grinned at the both of you. "Yup!" he said, popping the ending syllable in a way that made Nat's eye roll even farther back into her head. "I knew Bee would make the first move. She's gutsy! No offense, Baby on Board."
"Jake," you chastised, but knew the nickname was all in good fun now.
"Where's my twenty dollars? My wallet seems to be missing something," Jake faux-questioned, turning his attention to Phoenix.
Digging into her back pocket and sifting through her wallet, she slapped a crisp twenty-dollar bill into Jake's outstretched hand with a groan. Jake almost giggled in delight, a sound you had only heard come out of him once or twice.
"I just want to say," he started, raising his glass to the group, "that I, Jake Seresin, best pilot among us, was instrumental in ending our suffering. That is, watching these two dance around each other forever like little lovesick puppies."
The group groaned at his statement, but raised their drinks nonetheless. You giggled into Bob's shoulder, and he smiled widely at the sound. His eyes found yours and saw a playful look on your face. Before he knew it, you leaned into his space, pressing your lips to his.
The group watched as he melted into your touch, half-cheering and half-whistling.
Pulling away slightly, you smiled at the man next to you. Bob's cheeks were now dusted with pink, but he still wrapped a hand around your waist, bringing you close into his hold.
LOVE LOVE LOVE đ¤đ¤

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No Rest For The Wicked
Pairing: Vigilante!Bucky x FBI Agent!ReaderÂ
Summary: Â When the notorious Brooklyn Ripper strikes again, youâre more determined than ever to finally catch him by any means necessary. Even if it means teaming up with your vigilante neighbor Bucky, who's wanted by the very institution you work for.
WC: 31.5k
Contains: crime show level of violence, themes, and action (think of criminal minds/law & order svu as examples) / murder mystery with a serial killer on the loose / friends to lovers / horror elements such as suspense / female reader / mutual pining / Bucky is your hot neighbor / mentions of homicide + case details / descriptions of fatal injuries, blood (nothing in extreme graphic detail) / stalking (not from Bucky) / carnival fun and frights / a bit of a slow burn / a third party has a crush on you, but it's not reciprocated / lots of cameos in the world building / fluff + angst / Alpine shenanigans / hurt + comfort / happy ending
a/n: It seems autumn comes around and suddenly I remember I'm a writer. đ This is my piece for the stan-o-ween collaboration! This fic was an idea two years in the making and I spent almost the entire month on it, so I am so excited that it's finally done and yours to read! 𼰠Thank you to all my lovely mutuals who encouraged me along the way while writing this đ and to my biggest cheerleader @lomlbuckybarnes đĽšđ who without her, I'd probably chicken out about posting anything ever again. đŤśđť Thank you for reading! âËâšâĄ Likes, comments, and reblogs are much appreciated!! âĄâĄâĄ
bucky masterlist || fic playlist || trick or treat event
âHere,â Special Agent Carol Danvers places a freshly brewed cup of coffee on your desk, its earthy aroma wafting through the air to settle within you with a promise of alleviation. âAnd before you say anything, donât. Just drink it. You look like you need it,â She says as a matter of fact, leaving no room for argument. She leans against your desk, crossing her arms with her eyes trained on you like you're her next big case she has to investigate. You take a deep breath, whether to prepare for her lecture or because you need it, who knows? You can feel the radiating warmth of the mug on the back of your hand, tempting you to bask in its caffeinated contents.Â
For the fourth time today, no less.Â
âI really shouldnât. Iâve had enough caffeine today to last me the whole week,â you say, and yet your hands betray you, wrapping around the ceramic FBI mug like it holds all the answers to whatâs been ailing you for months.Â
Carol looks at you with bemused pity, âWhenâs the last time you had proper sleep?âÂ
âLast night.â
âLiar.â
âI swear.âÂ
âReally?â Carolâs eyes drift to your hands, analyzing the way you stir your coffeeâwith a pen.Â
You blink, taking a second to realize what you're doing, taken aback by the sight of your black pen in your coffee. It seems exhaustion had seeped its way so deep into your bones, you were no longer aware of your own actions.
âOkay⌠so maybe I havenât been getting the best sleep lately,â you admit despite yourself, removing the pen from your coffee and throwing it away. Carol scoffs, "No kidding."
âI bet you haven't eaten anything either, have you?" Special Agent John Walker inserts himself into the conversation, placing a small bakery bag on your desk before he goes to sit in hisâacross from yours to the left. He gives you the same look Carol is giving you now, expressions filled with an equal amount of worry and sympathy. It makes you wonder if they show this much care to your other colleagues and friends.
âYou two spoil me too much," you state, appreciatively grabbing the bakery bag and opening it to find a golden chocolate chip muffin inside. It's still warm, meaning John must have gotten it right before he came back to the bureau from being out in the field. First coffee and now this, were you that predictable or were your friends that perceptive?
"I promise Iâm fine. You both have nothing to worry about. I'm just a bit overwhelmed with the case,â you explain, hoping to placate their worry, but the weariness in your voice does little to quell the concern both blondes feel for you.
And it's written all over their faces.
"I can help with the case if you need any," John offers, a sly smile on Carol's face as she exchanges a brief look with you. You hold back from rolling your eyes at her. For some time now, she has been convinced that John has feelings for you, but you always interpreted his kindness as just being a good friend. It's not like you can take his flirtations seriously when he's flirted with every single female agent in the bureau.
"Thanks John, but you and Lamar are busy enough with the Hydra investigation as it is," you reply, before adding, "Plus if Laura found out I had anyone else helping me with the case she'd kill me. Nat told me yesterday Clint's been moody ever since he found out his wife messages me more than him," your last statement pulls a laugh out of both blondes. "That does sound like Bartonâboth of them," John chimes in with amusement, easing the a bit of the tension from your shoulders.
Truth be told, it's not like you wouldn't have appreciated the help. A tiny part of you feels bad for turning John down, but unbeknownst to the entire bureau, you already have all the help you need.
Help they can never find out who you're getting it from.
"It's better Walker here doesn't help anyway. Hopkins would miss his work husband too much to let him work on the Brooklyn Ripper case with you," she teases John with a cheeky grin, making him roll his eyes at her.
"Lamar is not my work husband."
"No? Then why is Hopkins bringing you homemade breakfast and lunch every day? Not to mention, he's the one always driving you two around like you're his pretty little passenger princess."
"First of all, those meals are made by his wife and they're delicious. And second of all, what the hell is a passenger princess?"
You sigh internallyâhere they go again.
You tune out their bickering, used to the way they get under each other's skin and quarrel like siblings. Sometimes you wonder if they had been in another life.
Your mind goes back to the case at hand, The Brooklyn Ripper case. It's files strewn across your desk like pieces of a puzzle you have yet to solve. This case lies between your typical serial killer investigation and a potential connection to Hydra. A criminal organization tied to a litany of crimes including blackmailing influential figures, money laundering, exploitation, mysterious killings, and more. All with the end goal of moving their organization to the top and spreading their influence beyond New York.
Even if it means entertaining a serial killer in their ranks.
The Brooklyn Ripper has taken the life of seven women so far. The first was killed in September of last year, with NYPD detectives handling the investigation. They were in charge of the first four murders, but when the fourth woman was found to have been working for Hydra, they dropped the case and handed it over to the FBI. Anyone working in law enforcement knows how dangerous it is to cross Hydra. Not many would step up to go against them, unlike your boss Nick Fury, the director of the FBI. He has no issue making Hydra his enemy.
You've worked in the New York branch of the FBI for a few years in the counterterrorism and counterintelligence unit, before being transferred over to the criminal services unit eight months ago. You didn't mind the transfer due to budget cuts since you felt like you needed a change of routine anyway. And as fate would have it, out of all the cases that could have been assigned to you, you got The Brooklyn Ripper case along with Special Agent Laura Barton as your partner. Since you've been on the case, three more women have been killed, with all three women having connections to Hydra.
Laura left for maternity leave two months ago, and ever since then you have been investigating the case alone due to too many cases on priority and not enough staff to handle them. Out of seven women, one of them was murdered under your watch alone, and that's a fact that makes you lie awake at night.
"I still think the killer is the White Wolf," at the mention of that specific alias falling from Carol's lips you come back to the present. Your head snapping in her direction, eyes widening ever so slightly having been caught off guard by the name. She tilts her head at you, shaking it with fake disappointment, "You weren't even paying attention to me were you? You really should go home."
The reassuring smile you give her is not convincing at all, "No, no, I was listening. I just got lost in my thoughts for second, why did you bring up the White Wolf?"
"Because, he's obviously your killer."
"He might be one of the possible suspects, but I think others make more sense than him," you reply, composing yourself from your earlier slip up, "He's only ever taken credit for the deaths of higher officials with deep ties to Hydra. Rumlow still makes more sense than the White Wolf here. We don't even know who the guy is or if his background matches what we're looking for," you point out.
Your colleagues have no idea who the White Wolf is, but you do.
You had dinner with him last week.
"I hate to say it, but Danvers might be right," John cuts in, agreeing with Carol for the first time in his life. "He's the only possible suspect who's gone after Hydra apart from the FBI. The last few women have all worked for Hydra, it makes sense he'd go after them."
Carol can't believe what she's hearing, "Walker is making senseâthe world is ending."
"You never give up, do you?"
"But he's never gone after women or children, why would he switch up now?" You ask, cutting into their exchange to play along in the conversation. You don't want them to think you're playing defense for the White Wolf.
John shrugs, "Guys like that, they snap," he snaps his fingers for emphasis, "Maybe something happened in his personal life and it set him off. Made him think he had to go further with his vigilante justice and started going after whoever he could get his hands on at Hydra," he theorizes, but everything he says is further from the truth of what the White Wolf stands forâof who Bucky really is.
"Maybe, but as a theory it wouldn't explain the motives for the first three women who were never found to be connected to Hydra at all. In the end, none of the suspects make complete sense," you say, sighing in solemn displeasure.
"Look, your main suspect is still Brock RumlowâHydra's guard dog. Lamar and I, we're working hard on the Hydra case, but that doesn't mean we can't find the time to help you out with something. Our cases are most likely connected, so we could always help enough to get some of the weight off your shoulders," John offers again, a soft genuineness to his voice that most don't experience often from him. You give him a small appreciative smile, "Thanks, John. I'll keep that in mind."
He returns the smile before looking at the notification that pops up on his phone. "Crap, I'm gonna be late," he gets up from his chair, putting the files on his desk into one pile, "Sorry for ending the conversation here ladies, I gotta go. You two have a good night." And with that, John packs up the last of his stuff and he's gone.
"Jealous?"
You frown at the question, completely lost as to why Carol would ask you that and why she's smirking at you. "Jealous? Of what?" The pure confusion on your face has Carol letting out a breathless laugh, "You really weren't paying attention, huh? John's going out on a date tonight."
You snort, "Oh? When is he not?"
"So you are jealousâŚ"
You roll your eyes at her attempt to tease you, "Carol. No. John is my friend and he's nice and all, but you know I don't date divorced menâit's too messy."
She shrugs, taking a few steps forward to take a seat on his desk. Oh, if only John could see her now. "Yeah, but you know I'm right when I say he likes you." You look at her like she's said possibly the dumbest thing you've ever heard, "Carol, please be serious. John has flirted with every single female agent in the bureau. Well, except for you, but only because you scare him."
Carol snickers in delight, "That's true. And it's not like he hasn't gone after some of our friends. I still cringe every time I think about how he fumbled that dinner date with Ava," you both grimace at the reminder, "But god, its kind of pathetic how many rebound dates he's gone on that have gone nowhere. He needs to be stopped for the sake of all women in New York," she can't help but take a jab at him even when he's not around.
"Okay, that's enough about John. How's the Punisher case going?" She thankfully takes your cue to move the conversation along, and begins updating you on her investigation. You do your best to keep up as you organize the files in front of you, but truthfully, it's all going in one ear and out the other.
"You know I can tell when you're not paying attention to me, right? I just act like I don't," she calls you out with mirth, you have the decency to be sheepish, "SorryâŚ"
She shakes her head softly, speaking to you in a tone only a big sister would use, "Don't be, just go home. Take a day off if you can. The case will still be here tomorrow."
"So will the killer."
She can't deny that, "He will, but that's just how things are in this line of work. You take one down and another one pops up tomorrow. There's not much we can do about itâthat's just the way the world is." What Carol says may be true, but you don't want to dwell on such harsh realities. Not when it'll make you spiral more into a darker hole than the case already has you in.
Maybe it is time for you to call it a day.
"Are you heading home too?" You ask her as you start to gather your belongings. She nods, the relief she feels at you finally deciding to go home evident in the way her demeanor changes. "I am, but I'm gonna head over to tech first and see if Stark can figure out what's going on with my access ID. This thing only works half the time and I'm sick of it. I think I need to get it replaced."
You grab your messenger bag in one hand and the small bakery bag in the other, "If you're seeing Stark then let's hope he thinks a new ID is in the budget," you jest, causing her to groan. "God, don't say that. Stark and his stupid budget will be the death of me." You laugh, wishing her luck talking to Stark before you're off as well.
Autumn brings in the beginning of change. Trees shed their leaves, going from forest greens to vibrant shades of auburn, blanketing the ground and blowing in the wind like they're searching for their final resting place. The chill in the air invites you to wear your coziest sweaters and visit your local shops to try anything with cinnamon, maple, or pumpkin spice to really welcome the season in.
Tonight, however, the breeze you feel when you step out of your car is icy and sinister in a way that makes you do a triple take of your surroundings. It has you guarding your bag close to your body and locking your car twice. A season that used to bring you a serene comfort is now cold and unforgiving like the end of life.
The wisps of the wind curl around your body, clinging to you as you step into your apartment building. You give a small yet polite greeting to the property manager's father, Yori. A sweet old man who sits at the front desk all day playing crossword puzzles or watching baseball games on a small television behind the desk. A cheerful smile spreads across his face as he returns the greeting. Thankfully, he's engrossed in a Yankees game or he would have pulled you in for a conversation already.
The sound of a crunching leaf that's stuck on the sole of your shoe follows you into the elevator and to the third floor. The clinking of your keys joins it, echoing down the hallway as you walk to your apartment. You're just about to insert your key when the door to the apartment next to yours opens, a meow you can only describe as a hello follows it.
It's your neighbors, Bucky and Alpine.
"Hey you two," you greet them warmly, appreciating the sight of your very handsome and very muscular neighbor holding his cat in his arms like she were something precious and delicate. The sight of him in his navy Henley is enough to turn your night around for the better.
"Hey," Bucky starts, but then Alpine interrupts him by hopping out of his arms and prancing her way to you. She rubs her soft fur against your legs, before pawing at themâher way of saying she wants you to hold her.
You laugh softly, placing your messenger bag on the floor against your door and crouching down to pick her up. You stand with her cradled in your arms as careful as Bucky did in his. Alpine immediately nuzzles into them, letting out a content purr.
Bucky looks at the two of you in a way that makes your heart squeeze in your chest. "She missed you. Haven't seen much of you lately," he points out, voicing only half a truth. What he really wants to say is he missed you, but he'll let that truth hide in the affection of his expression.
You give Alpine a gentle head scratch, your smile turning softer, "I missed her tooâand her dad," you add, not being able to hide it like Bucky can. The affection in his eyes only grows fonder at your words.
"Sorry I haven't visited lately. This case has a hold on me and I'm not sure it's going to let go of me any time soon," you say honestly, holding Alpine just a little tighter. Bucky notices, stepping closer to get a good look at you. There's no hiding the tiredness that seems to stick to every part of you like it's a second skin. "I thought so. You dedicate yourself to your job more than others, and it's admirable. But you have to take time to take care of yourself, doll," He reminds you and you find yourself exhaling a little harder, "You're not the first person to tell me something like that today. I try, but it doesn't feel right focusing on anything else when he can strike at any point again."
Bucky searches your eyes as if they hold the answer to how he can get through your stubbornness, "There's a difference between working hard and overworking yourself."
You have nothing to say to that.
Bucky leans down, grabbing your bag and nodding toward his door. "Let me make you dinner. Something tells me you haven't had a proper meal in days." As if on cue, your stomach lets out a grumble loud enough to reach your ears. Bucky bites his bottom lip to stop himself from laughing, sparing you further embarrassment by walking back to his apartment and holding the door open for you. You follow him inside with ease, having been at his place enough times to consider it a second home.
"I'll have you know I had a muffin today, and like four cups of coffee," you mumble out that last part, feeling small at the thought of Bucky being able to read you so closelyâlike there was nothing you could ever hide from him. He lets out a sound between a huff and a chuckle, "Exactly my point. None of that is a proper meal," he places your bag on the couch in the living room, "You should get some rest while I finish making dinner." You open your mouth with a question on your mind, but he narrows his eyes like he knows exactly what you're about to ask, "No talking of the case right now. Not until after dinner."
"But I want to knowâ" he cuts you off by shaking his head, "I know what you're going to ask, and noâI haven't found any new leads in any of the Hydra communications and their databases haven't been updated. There's nothing new since last month's murder. Now sit," he insists gently, and this time you listen. He makes his way to the kitchen, and you plop down onto the couch, settling comfortably against the cushions while Alpine makes herself comfortable on top of you. There's a part of you that wants to stay awake and pay more attention to Alpine, but as soon as your body sinks into the couch, you doze off, letting the world around you disappear.
Bucky looks through what he has in his cupboards and refrigerator, deciding on making a simple Alfredo pasta. He calls out your name, wanting to know if that's something you'd want to eat, but when he hears no response, he strolls over to check on you. He sees you fast asleep with Alpine in your arms and he can't help the warmth that grows within his chest at seeing you snuggled up in his home like this. He reaches over to the armchair and grabs a throw blanketâthe red and black plaid one you gifted him. He covers you with it, gently tucking both you and Alpine in.
There's a lightness to his step when he goes back to the kitchen. He takes his time making dinner, all with a lingering smile on his face. If anyone had told him before he met you he would be granted these moments of peaceâof normality from his somewhat unconventional lifeâhe wouldn't have believed them. It seems like it was just yesterday when he was still in the clutches of Hydra, doing their dirty work as the Winter Soldier to save his family from a fate far worse than death.
And all for what? In the end he escaped, but at the cost of his former life. Disappearing from Hydra's traces and distancing himself from his family and friends for their safety. Years of never staying in one place for more than a month, living alone across the country on the runâall to come back to New York to seek revenge on the organization that took everything from him.
He never made a place a home. And then over a year and a half ago he moved here, thinking it would be a temporary place to set some of his plans into motion, but staying here ultimately led him to Alpine and you.
Alpine, a scrawny little kitten he found in an alley, under the pouring rain in a unforgiving city. Left to fend for herselfâshe reminded him of himself in a way.
You, his next door neighbor with a heart of gold and a smile that never fails to make him weak in the knees. You're everything good in this world he wishes he felt he deserved.
There's nothing he wouldn't do to keep this new lifeâthis fresh startâsafe and sound.
When dinner is ready, Bucky reluctantly walks over to you, crouching down to softy nudge your shoulder. As much as he wants to let you sleep, he knows you need to eat something before you go to bed for the night. After a few nudges, your eyes slowly blink awake, but as the scent of dinner drifts your way you perk up, causing Bucky to chuckle fondly at the sight. Alpine yawns from where she lays across your torso, standing on her paws and stretching as she awakens from her beauty sleep.
"Come on, doll. Didn't wanna wake you, but dinner's ready."
You yawn as you get up from the couch, giving your body a good stretch before you follow Bucky to the kitchen table where there's already two delicious bowls of pasta waiting. Bucky pulls out the chair for you and you utter a dozy thank you before digging into the plate in front of you.
You hum in satisfaction at the taste, "Have I ever told you, you could make it as a personal chef?" Bucky takes a seat beside you, practically preening at the way you compliment his cooking. "No, but it wouldn't work out anyway for me. I don't like cooking for other people."
You frown, taking another bite of pasta, "But you cook for me." He grins, a twinkle in his eye like he knows something you don't, "You're not just people to me, doll. You should know that by now." His words have your heart fluttering in your chest in a way only Bucky ever seems to make it. You shove another bite of food into your mouth, anything to preoccupy yourself from thinking too deep and asking him what he means by that.
You don't need to have that answered right now.
Bucky can tell you're holding back, but he doesn't pryâjust smiles to himself and continues eating beside you. Your curious nature will get the better of you soon enough, and Bucky is a patient man. He can wait until you're ready to discuss this.
Whatever this is.
There's a comforting silence that falls between you, only interrupted once by the little tune of Alpine's automatic feeder signaling her food is ready. The silence continues until it stretches to the point you feel like breaking it.
"We talked about you at the bureau today," you mention, catching Bucky's attention.
"Oh?" He mutters out between bites, his tone in that one syllable indicating he's wary of where this conversation is going. You know he said not to talk about the case, but this surely doesn't count, right?
"Yeah, my coworkers think that youâthe White Wolfâare the Brooklyn Ripper," you say, words laced with an undertone of mirth at such a inconceivable thought. Bucky on the other hand reacts differently to how you thought he would. He finishes his bite, his jaw tensing like it's hard to swallow.
"Do you?" he asks, the air between you shifting into something heavy. You adamantly shake your head, upset that he even felt he had to ask, "Of course not. I'm pretty sure I've been your alibi for almost every victim, Bucky," you let out what can only be described as an awkward attempt to laugh while trying to lighten the mood, but he's looking at you like what you say next could break him.
"But if you hadn't been⌠Would you believe that I was the killer? That I was capable of that?" He holds his breath waiting for your answer. The weight of what he's asking settles itself deep in your heart. He's asking you if you would ever believe him to be a cold-blooded killer. Someone who kills for the sake of it and not with a morally just reason behind it. Bucky's past is no secret to you. He's been open and honest about everything from the moment you gained his trust. You would never take that for granted by believing him to be someone as cruel and ruthless like the Brooklyn Ripper.
You lock gazes with Bucky, needing him to clearly see the truth in your heart, "No. I would never think that of you, Bucky. I swear." The conviction in your voice eases the fear in Bucky's heart, feeling like he can breath again. He finds solace in the color of your eyes, and after a moment, the air shifts back to something comfortableâfamiliar.
"Why was I even brought up in the first place?" He wonders, and you wish you would've paid attention earlier to give him an exact answer, "I'm not sure. My mind was elsewhere when Carol and John were talking. It wasn't until they mentioned you that I started to listen. I think they were throwing around ideas for suspects since Rumlow isn't talking."
"Still? Let me guess, Pierce keeps covering his ass?"
"More like sending us on a witch hunt every time we want to ask a question or collect a piece of evidence. He impedes every step of the case with legal jargon."
He grunts, having firsthand knowledge of how Alexander Pierce operates, "Just say the word and I'll delete all the files on his computerâfor fun."
"You wouldn't."
"If you asked me to I would."
The temptation to make Pierce's life a bit harder is difficult to brush off, "I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I'm also not going to tell you what not to do." The mischief that makes its way to his face is impossible to miss.
You're halfway through the pasta in your bowl when you've had enough of the conversations involving you, "Anyway, enough about my work, anything new in yours?"
"Not really. Same old boring I.T. stuff," he waves it off like it's not even worth mentioning.
"How's Sam?"
"Still a pain in my ass."
You playfully bump his shoulder with yours, "Stop it, he's not that bad," his face deadpans at your defense of his coworker, "Sam's nice. He gave me the recipe to his grandma's pecan pie when he came over for my birthday dinner."
"Yeah, cause he's a kiss ass," he grouses, nose scrunched up in annoyance. You giggle, watching as Alpine jumps onto Bucky's lap, her head butting his abdomen in an attempt to ease her dad's grumpiness.
The bubble of serenity surrounding you bursts at the sharp and sudden sound of your ringtone. Your stomach lurches with a sense of dread, losing all its appetite. You know there's only one person that can be calling this late.
Bucky utters your name like a silent plea for you to ignore the call and go back to how you were, but you're not listening. You're already up from your seat when he says it, walking over to your bag, and picking up the phone.
"The Brooklyn Ripper struck again."
And just like that, your night takes a turn for the worst.
Bucky feels helpless sitting at the kitchen table, watching as your face falls to something grave as Fury relates to you the details of everything he knows about the most recent victim. There's not much he knows, so he's sending you the location of the crime scene for you to investigate.
The call is over before you know it. You start packing your stuff, needing to head out to the scene of the crime as soon as possible.
"I have to go. There's been another murder."
"Let me go with," Bucky knows you'll turn him down, but he offers anyway. The wooden chair scrapes against the kitchen floor when he stands up, striding over to where you're standing. He knows there's nothing he can say to make the situation better, but at least he can try to do somethingâbe helpful.
You shake your head, looking over at him with eyes that say I wish you could, "It's not a good idea, Bucky. The White Wolf is still on the suspect list and as long as Hydra is connected in some way, you'd only be putting yourself at risk for exposure." Against his better judgment, he pushes the topic, "I don't care if Hydra finds out that I'm in the city or if the FBI figures out who I am. I only care that you're safe."
You swallow hard, the depth of what he's saying not getting lost on you. You need him to understand the sentiment is mutual, "Bucky, I would never forgive myself if you were found out because of me. I care about your safety too and I'm not letting you fall back into the clutches of Hydra for my sake," you stand firm on your decision, "Let's just stick to what we usually do. I go out into the field and you stay here listening in on the Hydra communications and checking the databases for all the information on the victim," you instruct, leaving no room for argument. He had no choice but to listen.
"I don't like this," he says like it's painful to watch you go. "I know, and I'm sorry, but that's just the way things have to go," you remind him solemnly, not able to look him in the eye while heading towards the door. Two bowls of unfinished dinner going cold at the kitchen table.
Alpine meows beside Bucky almost as if to say goodbye or stay, you weren't sure. You couldn't meet her eyes either.
"See you later, Buck."
"See you."
The door clicks shut behind you.
It take you about twenty minutes to arrive at the crime scene. You mask your face with indifference as you walk past the vultures who call themselves the media. It's like at the first spill of blood they can scent it in the airâscrambling to get a headline instead of seeing it for what it is.
Someone has lost their life today in a brutal way. The least the media could do is have the decency to offer the family privacy and the chance to find out the devastating news from the proper channels and not through a social media post.
You ignore their existence, eyes darting to the buildings surrounding the crime scene to try and locate any cameras. The Brooklyn Ripper is smart enough to avoid them, usually placing the bodies in blind spots if there are any. He always kills the victim in one location and then drops it in another, meticulously staging it so the only clues you find are in the victim's autopsy.
If there are any camera's around, Bucky is probably looking through them right now. You sent him the location Fury gave you as soon as you got into your car. He's probably sulking as he watches from afar instead of at your side. You feel a strange sense of comfort wash over you at the thought of Bucky watching your back through the cameras. It helps knowing there's someone looking out for you with a case this severe on your hands. You hope Bucky understands you look out for him tooâin your own way.
You pass by the buzz of local news station reporters, and a small crowd of people forming at the sight of law enforcement. You flash your badge to the NYPD officer keeping the reporters at bay, and he lets you pass the yellow crime scene tape. Like all the other crime scenes, nothing seems to be special about this one for the killer to have picked it. It's your average looking alley, tucked ominously between scattered operating businesses on the almost vacant street. It's late enough that most businesses are closed and the streetlights offer but a sliver of light to enter. There's a metallic bleach like scent that hits you almost at the same time that the foul odor of the garbage from the bins does. It's potent enough to be aware of it, but not enough to bother you. You've smelled worse in this line of work.
You carefully make your way over to the black tarp covering the victim's body. The chief medical examiner, Dr.Helen Cho, is discussing something with one of the members of the crime scene unit when you approach. There's about a handful of the unit here collecting all the evidence they can find.
You know if the presence of Dr.Cho was warranted, then there's no doubt who the culprit of this murder is.
"Dr.Cho, did she have the markings?" you inquire, cutting straight to the point. Dr.Cho nods grimly, beckoning you to come and see for yourself. "An off duty officer found her. He was in a drunken stupor when he stumbled his way out of the bar from a few doors down and ended up here. He claims to have sobered up when he saw the body." She hands you a pair of evidence gloves. You slip them on, bracing yourself for what you're going to find.
"He called the FBI tip line when he saw her neck," Dr.Cho crouches down to carefully lift the tarp from the victim's face. You follow suit, crouching down beside her to get a better look. At first glance you notice the way she's laying in a sleeping beauty pose, no blood on her clothes or hair. She looks like she was heading somewhere nice, having no idea of the end that was awaiting her. But most damning of all is the wound on her neck, fitting the Brooklyn Ripper's M.O..
There was an end to end gash along the front of her neck that would indicate it was sliced open. However, when you look closer you can see the swelling and faintest marks of bruising underneath the skin of the wound. A slight deformity that Dr.Cho is sure to conclude happened prior to the slicing. A slice that was clean and precise, with little blood around it. It wasn't done in the heat of the moment or with abruptness. It was done because he needed to do it, not because he wanted to. Without a shadow of a doubt when the victim is transported for an autopsy, Dr.Cho will find she died of a broken neck.
The slicing was done as a cover up.
"I'm confident enough to say the Brooklyn Ripper did this," you conclude solemnly, scanning the alley as Dr.Cho covers the victim again. "Let me guess, there's no evidence the victim was murdered here, is there?" Dr.Cho shakes her head, lips pursing at the lack of evidence. "There are no blood splatters, footprints, or any other indicators that anyone else had been here besides her. The only organic matter we have apart from the trash in the bins is the vomit from the officer who found her body. Other than that, everything else is staged as usual. The victim was laid on the ground in a sleeping beauty pose with her belongings tucked at her side. Her purse seems to have everything in it, but the phone is missing, same as the other victims."
After Dr.Cho recaps the evidence, you ask for the purse. Once you have it you search it and find a few packs of gum, lip gloss, a pocket mirror, some miscellaneous receipts and bits of trash, and what you were looking forâher wallet. You take it out, reading over her ID for the basic information.
Beth Johnson, twenty eight, born on October 10thâher birthday had been last Friday.
You swallow the lump in your throat with a regret you're in no place to have.
Inside the wallet you find a few dollar bills, a debit card and a couple credit cards, but what stands out to you most are two things tucked away behind her ID.
The first item, a polaroid picture of the victim hugging a child in her arms. They share the same smile and fluff of blonde hair. The words Toby's fourth birthday, are written on it in blue marker.
The second item, Alexander Pierce's business card.
You waste no time calling Fury after that, informing him of all the details you knew so far. This was now the second woman to die under your watch, and the eighth woman the Brooklyn Ripper has taken overall. You weren't going to drag your feet in this investigation.
Fury was livid. He hated feeling like someone got the upper hand on him and this war with Hydra was driving him up the wall. He made it clear he wanted you back at the bureau as soon as possible. He was going to call in John and Lamar for an emergency conference and he would be seriously considering formally connecting both the Hydra and Brooklyn Ripper cases once and for all. There's too much overlapping evidence for him to not start connecting them.
You let Fury know you'd be there as soon as you were done at the crime scene before hanging up the call. You take a picture of the victim's ID and the polaroid in case it comes in handy later. You then hand all the victim's belongings to the crime scene unit to be put away in evidence bags.
You step away from the crime scene, letting the crime scene unit finish their job without you hovering. You converse with a couple of the NYPD officers to help them locate the next of kin to deliver them the tragic news. It wasn't until it was absolutely certain that you weren't needed that you walk back to your car, pass the police tape and away from the reporters yelling at you for a chance at an interview.
Your hand grips the handle of the driver's side door tightly, your heart and mind an entangled mess of emotions, blurring the lines between personal and professional. It was never this complicated when you worked in counterterrorism. It was second nature to detach yourself in that unit, but in this one? You can't avoid it.
Before you step into your car, it starts to drizzle. You look up at the night sky and manage to spot a traffic camera on a streetlight.
The sight of it brings you comfort.
"You seem to conveniently neglect the decision my client has made to remain silent over these preposterous accusations."
"I recognize the decision, but given that it's a stupid ass decisionâI've elected to ignore it."
Nick Fury and Alexander Pierce have been going at it for over half an hour, not letting Brock Rumlow get a word inânot that Pierce ever does anyway. He sits in the metal folding chair opposite you in the interrogation room, eyes glued to the table. His shoulders droop like he's about to fall asleep and his face is resting in a look that can only be described as pure boredom.
You've been studying him the entire time you've been in here, your role as the good cop meant you couldn't push and get on their bad side like Fury was doing now. But there's only so much rapport building you can take until you eventually break. Having to refrain from spilling all the questions and accusations you keep behind tightly sealed lips can only hold for so long.
There's a knock at the door that breaks Fury from his rant. He strides over to the door, and Rumlow takes this brief moment without him to make eye contact with you. It's only for a split second, but the challenge you saw there was unmissable.
He's daring you to make a moveâto show your hand. He's been in plenty of interrogation rooms with you to know you're both tired of this game.
You want to get to the truth.
Special Agent Lamar Hopkins is on the other side of the door, discussing something with Fury and handing him a folder with what you assume is evidence from the case against Hydra. Pierce whispers something in Rumlow's ear while Fury shuts the door. He makes his way back to your side, opens the evidence folder, and plasters a multitude of pictures on the table for everyone to see.
It's pictures of Rumlow and the victim, all taken from seemingly harmless and innocent interactions. Rumlow helping her into a car, passing by her at a nightclub, leading her into an office, dropping her off at home, and many more. There's nothing necessarily incriminating in them, but the twitch in Rumlow's jaw is a blatant tell this struck a nerve with him.
"We can go in circles all damn day if you want, but I'm more interested in what the hell you were doing being seen with the victim so many damn times. And these pictures, they're just from this month," Fury drops another two dozen pictures on the table, "these are from the last four months."
Pierce scoffs, swiping his hand in the air in dismissal of the evidence, "This is ridiculous. My client can be seen with all employees at some point on any given day, this doesn't prove anything. This is a reach and you know it." Fury slams his hand on the desk, "Is it? Because from where I'm standing, it seems to me like she's another woman who was last seen with your client that ends up dead." The brash accusation cuts through the tension like a knife, and you can tell it's testing Pierce's patience on another level.
But more than anything, it severs your willingness to continue the good cop bad cop play.
"Brock, if you didn't do this, then I need you to help us here. Look at her," you take out your phone, having had enough of this endless back and forth. All eyes are on you as you slide the picture of the victim and her son in front of Rumlow. He looks down at it, but you get no reaction from him at the photo.
"Beth, she had a son, Toby. I'm sure you already knew that, maybe even knew him. Last Friday, she and her family celebrated her twenty eighth birthday, and now she's gone. In a few hours, Toby will wake up and ask his grandparents where his mother is, and they won't know what to say to him. It'll be awhile before he understands his mom is gone and never coming back. She won't be there for his future birthdays, she won't be taking him trick or treating on Halloween, having dinner with him at Thanksgiving or Christmas. When the new year comes in, he'll have to welcome it without her," Rumlow bites the inside of his cheekâthis is good, you got him to react. "I don't care about what the FBI wants. I just care about him," you point to little Toby in the picture, "I care about giving him answers and catching the bastard who took his mom away from him." There's a conviction to your voice that clearly drives the message home.
For once, Rumlow beats Pierce to speak.
"You ain't got to worry about the kid. She was one of us, we take care of our ownâincluding him," Rumlow's voice is rough with disuse, but at the very least you finally got him talking. You plead with your eyes, leaning in as a calculated sign of trust, "But he still deserves answers. I know there's something you could tell me that'll help me here." Rumlow looks at you with something that's close to pity, "Sorry, honey, don't know anything that could help. And as for finding the guy, I'm sure you're more than capable of it." He grins smugly, like he's doing you a favor with the half compliment. Irritation make its way up your body, hands eager to take action, but you can't. Instead, you give Rumlow a look like you're disappointed in him, but your eyes tell the full story. And his, it's like they're taunting you with the words cut the bullshit. It's clear you don't trust each other. Everything either of you do or say is done with ulterior motives.
Neither of you will get the full truth from each other any time soon.
"Alright, are we done here?" Pierce spits out in indignation, but Fury mocks him with an ardent laugh. "Not even close. You might as well start getting comfortable in here. Excuse us for a moment." With those parting words, Fury escorts you out of the interrogation room. Outside, John and Lamar stand on the other side of the two way mirror, having been listening in the whole time.
There's only a brief acknowledgment between you with an exchange of glances before Fury starts speaking. "I want you three to go to the main conference room and start operating as if we're connecting the Brooklyn Ripper case and the Hydra one. Agent Hill has already supplied it with with the evidence files from both cases. There's a few protocols I have to follow before I can officially connect them, but when I'm done I want you two," he points to John and Lamar, "to take a round interrogating Rumlow. You have a deeper rapport with those two, so I'll be counting on you both to get something useful out of them. In the meantime, exchange notes to prepare for the interrogation, and you," Fury turns to you, "as soon as you're done filling Hopkins and Walker in on your caseâgo home. You've done a great job tonight, but I'll need you rested and ready tomorrow for what comes next." You know better than to argue with him, so you bite your tongue and reply with a clear, "Yes, sir."
He turns and walks off, leaving you three to head to the conference room.
"What a way to end our Monday, right?" Lamar breaks the silence between you awkwardly. You let out an uncomfortable sound you try to pass for a broken laugh, "Yeah, you could say thatâŚ" You know he means well by the question, but it doesn't sit right in the space between you, falling flat.
"This didn't ruin any plans did it?" John cuts in curiously, directing his question at you, disrupting the discomfort in the air. You shake your head, a pang in your chest when you think about Bucky watching you leave. "Just dinner," you say it with a somberness you hadn't intended, so you quickly add, "but I'm sure you're more disappointed about your date being cut short. And I bet Mrs.Hopkins isn't any happier about Lamar getting called back to work." Your last statement brings out a small chuckle out of both men, and the sheepish expression on Lamar's face is confirmation enough that you're right.
"My date wasn't really going well, so I don't mind being called in. I don't think she'll be calling back for another, so I appreciate work keeping me busy," John admits, voice laced with self deprecation as you enter the main conference room. The table in the middle already stacked with files from both cases, just like Fury had said. You take a seat next to John when Lamar mutters something about a delivery and walks back out. You feel sympathy for your friend, the dating scene is hard enough, you can't imagine what it must be like navigating it as a divorced father.
Before you can second guess yourself, you place a comforting hand on his shoulder, he meets your eyes at the gesture, "Hey, don't let it get to you. I don't think many of us have a good track record with dating. I mean I think it comes with the job. I'm sure the right woman for you is right around the corner." Your words seem to strike a chord with him, the corner of his lip tugging, "Thanks. I'm sure she is."
He doesn't look away from you when he says that.
Before you can fully wrap your head around any deeper meanings, Lamar walks in with a pizza box in his hands. The strong scent of pepperoni pizza distracts you, your hand falling from John's shoulder like it never belonged there in the first place. Lamar is none the wiser, putting the pizza box in the center of the table and sitting across from both of you.
"I thought we'd need it for the long night ahead of usâcoffee's already brewing in the break room," Lamar adds and you both utter a thank you. You try to brush off whatever just happened, even though a strange air lingers in the space between you. Even. Carol's voice echoes in the back of your head with a boisterous I told you so.
She's going to have a field day with this when you tell her.
There's an orange piece of paper that suddenly slips off the pizza box when Lamar opens it. You reach for it out of reflex, the big bold letters in black contrasting with the pumpkin orange background catching your eye.
FOR TWO WEEKS ONLYâTHE CARNIVAL OF TERROR IS BACK IN THE CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS.
"My oldest loved going last year. I'm taking the whole family again this year," Lamar comments when he notices you reading the flyer. The nostalgia hits you hard, "How nice. I remember when my dad used to take me to these things when I was little. Those memories stick with you forever." You have to pull yourself back from drowning in a sea of memories you'll get lost in. From the past, from memories you used to hold close to your heart, to happier moments you used to give yourself the grace to experience.
To the person you used to be before this case ever landed in your hands.
You shake those thoughts away, hands gravitating to grab your phone. You're not sure what for at first, not until you open your text messages and click on your conversation with Bucky. Your fingers hover over the keyboard, typing up a quick text letting him know you'll be staying at the bureau for a bit. You're not sure what time you'll be getting out of here and you'd hate to have him waiting around for you. His response comes not even a minute later.
Okay, doll. Let me know if you need anything.
Will do. Goodnight, Bucky. Give Alpine a goodnight kiss from me. <3
What about mine? :(
You can't hold back the smile that forms after reading that text.
Have Alpine give it to you for me x
Fine. But yours would have been better. Goodnight.
"Is that your boyfriend?"
Lamar's question makes your head break away from your phone, mouth slightly parted as you blink at him. "What?" A boyish grin appears on his face, eyes crinkling like he's discovered a secret, "Your boyfriend. That's who you're texting, right? No one smiles at their phone like that unless it's someone special on the other end." You find yourself unsure of how to respond because while Bucky may not be your boyfriend, it feels wrong to deny he isn't someone special to you.
Lamar takes your silence as a yes.
John shifts uncomfortably in his seat, harshly clearing his throat, "I think that's enough small talk, we should focus on the case," his words slash through the silence, causing you to nod in agreement. You need to focus on what you're supposed to be doingâupdating these two on everything you know about the Brooklyn Ripper case, so they can go back to interrogate Brock Rumlow.
It's gonna be a long night.
The next morning when you wake up, the sun is at its highest point in the sky. You manage to find the energy to slip out of bed and into the shower. The water cascades down your body in an attempt to wake you, but it does little to help. You continue your morning routine, nevertheless, putting on a hoodie and pajama bottoms before you make your way to the kitchen. Much to the dismay of the rumble in your stomach, your fridge is empty of everythingâeven leftovers. You also can't remember the last time you went grocery shopping.
Just as you've resigned yourself to brew a batch of instant coffee for breakfast, there's a knock on your door that stops you. On the other side is Bucky with containers of food in his hands.
"Good morning," you greet him with a lazy smile, trying not to make it obvious you're staring at the way his muscles strain against his workout shirt. He chuckles, eyes raking over your hoodie with a twinkle in them, "Good afternoon, doll. I brought over some leftover pasta from yesterday. Thought you'd be hungry and have no food in your fridge."
You step aside to welcome him in, one word in particular catching your attention, "Afternoon? Wait, how did you know I was awake?"
"Thin walls," he shrugs like that explains everything, "Didn't hear anything all morning, so I figured you slept in." He looks at your hoodie again, "Is that my hoodie?"
You still, looking down at the dark gray hoodie on your body. You know it's not yours, but you're in no mood to give it back, "No." You don't sound convincing, and the gleam in his eyes tells you he's thoroughly enjoying this. You cross your arms, dropping the subject all together, "There's no way I slept in, I don't do that."
You glance behind Bucky at the clock on the wall. It's already noon.
You overslept.
He gently taps your nose to get your attention before you start worrying about what you missed, "Don't be so hard on yourself. Oversleeping is not the end of the world. Just let your boss know what's going on while I get lunch ready, okay?" He heads over to your kitchen like he belongs in that space, the lingering comfort of his gentle tone stays with you as you walk to your room to grab your phone. You notice you have a couple missed calls from Carol, so you send her a quick text before sending Fury an apology and letting him know you'll be at the bureau later. Almost immediately he tells you there's no need, John and Lamar have already done the interview with Beth's parents and are currently following leads from it. So instead he orders you to continue with the routine protocol you follow after the victim's family has been interviewed.
Meaning, it's time for the stakeout.
You head back to the kitchen, a bowl of pasta already waiting for you. You sit on a stool at the kitchen island and Bucky joins you on the stool beside you. "Care to fill me in on last night?" He asks and you do, filling him in on the investigation, the victim, the interrogation with Rumlow and Pierce, and your conference with John and Lamarâexcluding the part where you might've lead them to believe Bucky is your boyfriend.
You didn't feel that was necessary to include.
"So I guess I'll have to start co-investigating the Brooklyn Ripper case with the Hydra one," you reiterate, looking down at the bowl of pasta like it held answers to the gut feeling you couldn't shake off.
"You don't seem happy about that," Bucky points out, and you sigh, suddenly not feeling hungry anymore. "It's not that I'm not happy about it. Something just doesn't feel right," you can't find the exact words to describe what about it feels wrong. You feel like you're missing a big piece of the puzzleâmaybe one of the most crucial piecesâand not being able to pinpoint it is eating away at you.
"I think I know what you mean. Last night, I went through all of Hydra's communications, but the only time the case was mentioned was when they took in Brock for questioning," Bucky mentions while you move the pasta in your bowl absentmindedly before you reply. "I don't doubt he's done some terrible things. I can see it in his eyesâthe look of someone who could care less who lives or dies as long as he gets paid enough to do it. But I don't think he did this. If it is someone at Hydra doing thisâit's not him."
Bucky nods in agreement, "Brock's been an asshole since the day I met him, but Hydra wouldn't make their golden boy do this. They'd have someone else do it. Like one of the other Winter Soldiers they recruited when I left." The reminder tastes like acid on his tongue, his jaw clenches, eyes glossing over with the ghosts of his past. Your hand reaches out to gently hold his wrist, the metal cold to your touch and yet it brings him the kind of warmth only you seem to provide him.
"Maybe," you give his wrist a light squeeze, he turns his metal hand over to hold yours, like he needs it to anchor him, "but I have a feeling no matter who the suspect is, the answer lies with the first three women the Brooklyn Ripper killed. The ones without any connections to Hydra."
"The ones the NYPD screwed up embarrassingly?"
"Yeah, those. It was like they had never worked a homicide before. By the time me and Laura were put on the case none of the families wanted to talk, so Fury instructed us to prioritize the most recent victims instead. But even those victims don't make complete sense. They all worked for Hydra, sure, but in different sections for different peopleâlike they were chosen at random. An assistant, an exotic dancer, a housekeeper, a working girl, and the most recent, a club waitress. Asking anyone at Hydra is a dead end, the families won't talk to us, and we always end up with very little to go on. It just feels like were on a wild goose chase while that bastard chooses his next victim," this time Bucky gives your hand a steady squeeze when your frustration gets the better of you.
"Hey, we're gonna get this guy. He might be smart at covering up his tracks, but he's bound to slip upâthey always do. And when he does, we'll catch it and get him. Don't forget we're a team, doll. The killer doesn't know you have a Hydra expert on your side, and that is your upper hand," his little pep talk does wonders to reignite that spark of hope in you.
"Let's hope he slips up sooner rather than later," you add before looking at your phone. It's almost time.
"Thanks for lunch, Bucky. I don't mean to cut this short, but I gotta get going."
"Are you heading to the bureau?"
You shake your head, "No, I'm heading out to do a stakeout. Gotta get some pictures for evidence, some protocol Fury wants me to follow. It's usually John and Lamar that go, but they're busy following some leads so Fury's sent me instead." Bucky nods, getting up from the stool, "I'm coming with." You open your mouth to protest, but he shakes his head firmly, "Nothing you say will make me back down from this one. I couldn't be there yesterday, but there's no reason I can't be in the car with you this time."
He's right, there really is no issue with him coming with you this time, and truthfully you feel safer knowing he'd be there.
"Fine. But this is my case, so you follow my lead, alright?"
A cheeky grin grows on his stupidly handsome face, "Yes, ma'am."
"I can't believe you brought Alpine along," you laugh incredulously as Alpine gets out of her carrier and makes herself comfortable on a blanket Bucky fluffed out in the backseat for her. He scratches the back of his neck, before he explains, "She's got separation anxiety." Your eyes dart to Alpine, then to him, and then back to her, holding back a burst of giggles, "She's got separation anxiety?"
"Yeah, she can't stand being away from me for too long."
"Sure, Bucky."
"I swear, doll."
"I'm sure you do."
Bucky's deadpan expression does little to nothing to stop you from laughing. Even Alpine is looking at her dad like don't put this on me.
You and Bucky have been sitting in your car for about fifteen minutes. You're stationed in a parking lot of a small general store a few houses down and across from where Beth Johnson's residence is. It's a quaint brownstone, a little beat up on the outside, but homey nonetheless. The victim lived there with her parents and her four year old son Tobias, or Toby as she called him. If Hydra follows the same pattern, then like the last four victims, Alexander Pierce would come around offering financial restitution for the families. The money in exchange for their silence.
John and Lamar already had the initial interview with the victim's parents, so all there was left to do is wait. A camera laying patiently in your lap for the moment Pierce makes his appearance.
"You're doing it again," Bucky's voice breaks you from your thoughts. You turn to him, even when he attempts to cover his face with a baseball cap and hoodie, his eyes give away just how handsome he is beneath it all. It's unfair.
"What am I doing?"
"Staring holes into something like it'll give you answers if you look at it hard enough," his perceptiveness never fails to make you feel small. As if he could unravel all your secrets and vulnerabilities like it were nothing. You attempt to assure him with a smile that everything's okay, but it doesn't reach your eyes. He looks at you like he wants to help you, but he doesn't know how.
"It's just, this all feels like a waste of time. Sitting here for who knows how long to snap a couple of pictures when we could be doing something else instead. Maybe even find a proper lead for once, one that'll lead us to the actual killer," you hate feeling like a sitting duck. Like you have to wait for the evidence to come to you instead of going and getting it yourself.
"You don't agree with Fury sending you here," he says it as a statement, not a question.
"I don't. We already know what's going to happen. Getting a few pictures won't make Pierce or Rumlow talk. It won't even get the family to cooperate. So what's the point?" You fidget with the settings on the camera mindlessly.
"If the killer is a part of Hydra then it's important to get proof of every shady deal they've made to protect him."
"And if he isn't?"
He mulls it over, "Then it's even more important. That could mean he's been manipulating the evidence in his favor and making it seem like Hydra's behind it."
That's a possibility you hadn't really considered because who could possibly be stupid enough to cross Hydra like that?
You think back to the list of possible suspects excluding Bucky: Frank Castle, Logan Howlett, Wade Wilson, and Brock Rumlow. You recall the details you know of them, but none of them seem to be the kind to place the blame on someone else. Some of them take credit for their kills proudly while others are only on the list because they fit the military profile the Brooklyn Ripper's alleged to have. Plus, Bucky's already done extensive background checks into every single one of these men. If there was something that could've pointed you in their direction, Bucky would've found it already.
"If he is covering his tracks by putting the blame on Hydra, I wonder why they haven't caught him? He's a liability whether he's part of them or not."
Bucky takes your question into consideration, "It's hard to believe they wouldn't know who the guy is by now. If he wasn't one of them they'd have no problem getting rid of him. But if he is one of them, then they either know who it is and he's too high up in the ranks to cut him loose or they have no idea who the killer among them is," Bucky theorizes and you add, "It could be why they're giving the victim's family hush money disguised as charity. It keeps them quiet long enough for them to try and figure out who it is before the FBI does."
You feel like you're going in circles with the same set of clues, turning them over and over again as if eventually they'll give you a different result. You fall forward, gently resting your head on the steering wheel, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. You just need a moment to collect your thoughts. The first few days on a new murder investigation can always be the hardest, so you just need to pick yourself up and move forward.
Bucky places his hand on your back, drawing soothing circles in the space between your shoulders. Your body gravitates towards his touch, leaning into it. "You have shown more effort and dedication on this case than anyone previously assigned to it did. I know you're not used to dealing with victims and families on a personally. You feel every loss on a human level, and that's your strength. It means you're not giving up til the end and you should be proud of yourself for that. I know I am."
Sometimes you remind Bucky of his younger self. The one who had to come to terms that evil exists in this world as the blood on his hands grew. The one who had to make a deal with the devil in exchange for his family's salvation.
He had to pull himself out of a very dark place years ago. He'd make sure you'd never fall into it like he did.
You lift your head from the steering wheel, turning it to lay the side of your face against it. You don't know what to say, but you manage to whisper out a small thank you. You didn't know how badly you needed to hear those words until you heard them. It's hard to not feel out of your element when you're not used to this. You rarely had one on one interactions with victims or families when you worked in counterterrorism. Working in national security was miles away from what you've experienced in this case in the last seven months.
His hand slides up to cup your cheek, his thumb softly caressing it. "Always," he whispers the promise in an oath to you, and the sincerity in his eyes causes you to let out a soft gasp. It's like if you search his eyes hard enough for something you've been searching for all your life, you'll find it.
Alpine suddenly jumps onto the center console, startling you both. You both pull away as if you've been caught doing something wrong, while Alpine stares at something ahead meowing at it. When you follow her line of sight you're surprised to see a black Rolls-Royce pulling up to the victim's residence. You quickly reach for the camera and start taking pictures. "Remind me to bring her along to the next stakeout," you say in awe that Alpine caught that. A few clicks of the camera later and sure enough, Alexander Pierce steps out of the car along with a couple bodyguards.
"Good girl," Bucky praises Alpine as she jumps onto his lap waiting for a proper thank you. He chuckles under his breath, muttering something about how spoiled she is before giving her the attention she wants. He steals a glance at you while you take pictures of the license plate, finding beauty in no matter what you do.
Alpine meows in his lap, as if questioning her dad why he hasn't made a proper move yet. He pets her fur in thought, wishing he could give her an answer as to why.
The days go by in a blur of paperwork and evidence files until the weekend is but a shift way. You've spent the last couple of days studying the Hydra case, familiarizing yourself with it now that Fury has merged your case with it. As expected, after Pierce visited Beth's parents they stopped cooperating with the FBI, claiming they had no further information to share that could help the case.
Having a team to work with had its pros and cons. On one hand, it was nice to bounce ideas off of John or Lamar, and to have someone to go to when you were stuck on a piece of evidence. However, having to report and update them whenever you wanted to do something and needing a majority vote to go through with itâwell, let's just say you had a good idea how the rest of the investigations were going to go and you didn't like it.
You were currently in the bureau's record room, returning some of the files you pulled out of evidence in place of taking others. John and Lamar were somewhere in New York investigating a lead in the Hydra case. You felt like you were between a rock and a hard placeânot wanting to step on anyone's toes, but also not really seeing yourself fitting in with that duo.
Both of them did things by the book, followed all the rules with no exceptions. They never pushed the boundaries or took risks to get to the truth. It's why they were one of Fury's favorite pairs. He never had to do any extra paperwork or pull any favors to save their asses.
But you? You were secretly working with a vigilante. One wanted by the very institution you work for. If John or Lamar were to find out, you have no doubt in your mind they would turn you in.
You take out your access ID and place it up against the card reader to access the files. You're sorting through them, exchanging some of the ones you had when something on the screen catches your eye.
There's a name that stands out in the history list of who last accessed files for the Brooklyn Ripper and Hydra cases. There beside your name, John and Lamar's is Carol's. You frown at the sight. Why would she need to have accessed them? You don't remember the Punisher case having anything to do with either of those cases.
You make a mental note to ask her about it later.
Back at you desk, you sit in it for another hour looking through files until you can't take the lack of action anymore. There's one lead you have been thinking of pursuing, but you know if you brought it up to John, Lamar, or Furyâthey'd all shoot the idea down.
It's a good thing none of them are in the building right now, right?
Beth Johnson used to work as a waitress in Hydra's nightclub The Red Skull. It's owned by the head of the organization, Johann Schmidt, and he uses it as a hub for a lot of Hydra's operations. A logical step to take with that information is to question the people who work there for anything they might know of the victim that could help uncover her killer. The problem? The couple of times John and Lamar have been able to make it past security to question people inside, have only ended with guns drawn the moment they figure out they work for the FBI.
But you, there's only a couple of people that could recognize you, you're not really on Hydra's radar. They don't even know you're part of the Hydra case now. Armed with all the knowledge you've acquired from these files and Bucky's stories, you could go undercover. Find one of the weak links, maybe a friend of Beth's and prod at them until they crack and tell you something you could use.
This is risky, but exactly the kind of action you were hoping to take. No one could find out you were going, not even Bucky. If he found out you were going into the lion's den he'd have a heart attack or insist on going with you, and you'd never agree to that. You're not letting Hydra take him from you as selfish as that sounds.
You were on your own for this oneâwhat's new?
You couldn't go home and change into something more appropriate for a club because if Bucky saw you walking out in a skimpy outfit and heels he'd most certainly question where the hell you were going. You might have to pull a favor with your friend Ava Starr, the head of the undercover and sensitive operations unit at the FBI.
Before you can back out of the plan, you head to her office. She greets you when she sees you, but narrows her eyes at you when she sees your suspicious demeanor.
"Hey, remember when you almost fumbled the Skrulls operation until I stepped in and saved your ass?" You bring up a memory from last year from an undercover operation you did in the counterterrorism division alongside Ava and others. She had made the wrong call and almost put the entire team in jeopardy, but an improvised plan from you saved the day and her job.
"Yeah⌠Thanks for the reminder," the sarcasm drips from her lips as they pull into a thin line. You close her office door so only she can hear what you say next, "I'm here to cash in that favor."
"Do I want to know for what?"
"It's best you don't."
She gives you a hard look. As your friend, she wants to pry and find out exactly what she's helping you do, but on the other hand, she believes in you and knows if you're telling her she shouldn't know then she won't question it.
"Alright, come on then. Tell me what you need."
By the late afternoon you're inside The Red Skull. Ava had done an amazing job with the makeover, giving you a sparkly black mini dress to wear with skin colored tights underneath. The dress itself was pretty, but stubborn on clinging so tightly to your body that every curve of it is on display. She caked your face in makeup, something subtle yet fitting for a night at the club. You hadn't recognized yourself when you looked in the mirror, but that was a good thing. The more unrecognizable you were, the better.
The only things you weren't used to were the false lashes on your eyes and the size of the heels on your feet. You can't remember the last time you got all dolled up like this, much less the last time you wore shoes that weren't your work ones. You felt like a baby deer learning how to walk for the first time.
To lower the chances of getting caught, you left your FBI badge in your car, keeping the items in your purse simple except for the gun that rests inside for your safety. You weren't sure you were going to make it past security at first. However, you managed to sneak in by flirting with some college guy who was there with a large group of people. You walked with them in line, avoiding being carded by sneaking in as part of their group. You ended up having to follow them to some booth in the back by the dance floor, but you were able to excuse yourself after a few minutes to go to the bathroom.
As soon as you step away you examine your surroundings. Scanning through the sea of people to locate all the entrances and exits, where the main office is, and where all the employee rooms are. The boom of the bass from the speakers shakes the room, the lights and music bounce off the walls, making you feel the liveliness of the party on every inch of your skin. The smell of alcohol, smoke, and substances much worse permeate the air into a toxic cloud you have to be careful not to inhale in too deeply.
You had a handful of people in mind you wanted to approach before you came in. The club itself is too dark to make out a lot of the faces from afar, but you know for certain there's someone working the bar you might be able to get answers from. One of the bartenders, Pietro Maximoff, has a sister Wanda Maximoff who also works as a waitress in this club, just like Beth did. Wanda and the victim could have been friends, and you know her brother must be feeling extra protective after what happened to Beth.
It was all you had to go with to try and get some answers.
You saunter over to the bar, sitting on one of the seats across from Pietro when you locate him. His eyes land on you and he flashes you a charming smile that you return with ease, "What can I get for you, gorgeous?" You play up the charm with a flirty giggle, "Just a whiskey on the rocks, please." His eyebrows lift in pleasant surprise, "And here I thought a pretty girl like you would order one of those fruity drinks, something as sweet as you." He lays it on thick, probably hoping for a good tip. You look at him through your lashes, "What can I say? I'm full of surprises." He hums in approval, grabbing one of the bottles behind him to prepare your drink. Things seem to be going smoothly so far, even if your undercover skills and flirting tactics are a bit rusty.
"So what brings you here tonight? Waiting on someone?" He asks you while handing you your drink. You pretend to take a sip of it, shaking your head, "I'm not waiting on anyone. I'm looking for something." Your vagueness intrigues him. "Something or someone?" There's temptation dripping from his lips, the blue of his eyes stormy in a way that tries to pull you into them until they're the only thing you can look at.
Too bad you're not into blondes.
"Something," you repeat, giving him a sly smirk while reaching into your purse, "Something maybe you can give me." You've piqued his curiosity with that, and he watches your every move as you brush past the cool metal of the gun in your purse to take out your phone. You have to hope this doesn't backfire or things could get ugly real fast.
You unlock your phone, opening up your gallery to a picture, and turning it over so he gets a clear view of it.
A picture of Beth with her son Toby, the one from the polaroid.
His expression falls, an iciness to it that crawls up your spine when he sneers, "You're a fucking cop?" You keep your cool, shrugging nonchalantly, "I prefer to give you plausible deniability on that."
He scoffs, leaning forward on the bar table separating you. He's so close the iciness in his stare contrasts the heat of the anger that radiates off him, "So you are. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't get you kicked out of hereâor worse?"
"Because I'm here for her," you grab your phone to put the picture back in his view, "I came for answers, and I know you can give me some." He avoids looking at the picture, it's like he can't stomach the thought of her being gone.
He clicks his tongue, "Stop acting like you care about Beth. You don't care about her, you don't care about any of them. You just want to get your job over with, maybe even get promoted."
"Olivia, Alice, Karli, Sharon, Ruby, Ophelia, Aida, and Beth," you list out the names of every single victim, catching him off guard. "I remember all of them. Each one of those women aren't an assignment to me, or some statistic I'll write in a report at the end of the year. Those women were like me. They were mothers, daughters, sisters, friendsâthey were people. And I have to go to bed every night knowing I've failed them." Your voice breaks at the end, opening an album on your phone to show him the images you've kept of every single victim. All pictures of happier snapshots of their life, reminding you who you're working so tirelessly for.
He takes a step back, staring at your phone like the pictures would haunt him if he stares at them for too long. "I need to get justice for these women. I want to give their families answers as to why this happened. I want the bastard to pay and face the consequences of what he's done."
You land on Beth's picture again and he looks away like it's too painful to see. "I can't help you, Iâ" you cut him off, "Wanda's your sister right? She works here as a waitress just like Beth did. They were probably friends, weren't they? What if she's next?"
He looks almost offended you would say that, "Don't say that. I'd never let that happen."
"I know you wouldn't. But I'm sure if you ask any one of the family members of these women they'd tell you the same. People always think something could never happen to them until it does. Wanda has you looking out for her, but this killer is smart and covers his tracks well. Your employers don't seem to give a damn about protecting the women working for them, so Wanda could very well become his next target."
"No, she wouldn't. I'd never let her get involved in that."
"Get involved in what?" Your question makes him realize what he said and he curses under his breath. "Please, just give me something I can investigate further. Do it for them, not for me." You show him the picture of Beth one last time before shutting your phone off, the bar was starting to get a bit crowded and you didn't want the wrong people finding out what you're discussing.
He takes a deep breath, searching your eyes for your true intentions. There's a genuineness there that makes him feel like he can trust you. He subtly scans the bar, taking your drink and pouring it out before getting you another one to blend in. He leans in close, resting himself on his arm on the bar table like he were having an intimate conversation with you.
"Hydra runs two escort services. The one you probably already know about is run by a madam named Agatha Harkness. It's mainly used for making easy money off of cheating husbands and other degenerates," he says this with distaste on his tongue, "Then there's the other one. Hydra keeps this one under wraps, the only evidence of it existing is if the women have any. It's used to blackmail important figures, government officials, world leadersâyou name it." You're grateful the necklace Ava gave you is recording constant audio because he's giving you lots of crucial information.
"The madam that runs it is Valentina Allegra de Fontaine. She has her own escort service, but she integrates it with the Hydra one. There's only a small group of women from Hydra that work for her. She usually approaches girls that are in need of money, preys on them, and gives them loans in exchange for sleeping and dating whoever Hydra wants to get dirt on and under their control next. A few months ago we were hard on money and Valentina approached Wanda about joining, but I refused to let her," you can hear how protective he is of his sister in the way he speaks about her, "I picked up extra shifts at the bar instead. The only reason I know about this service is because my sister told me."
"There should still be some sort of digital footprint of all of this though, no?" You ask yourself more than him. If there was one, Bucky would've found it already. Pietro shrugs, "All I know is that it's super secret and no one openly talks about it. I picked a fight with my boss about it when Wanda was approached and he told me to drop it for both our sakes." You try to absorb all the information he's given you. It's a bit to take in at once, especially when there's multiple questions you want to ask you know he doesn't have the answer to.
He pulls away to get back to work when you go silent, "You're one of the good ones, I can tell. Cops usually look the other way when things happen to people like us."
Before you can respond, he glances at something behind you and curses under his breath, "You need to goâthey know you're here." You pretend to take a swig of your drink, turning your head to see from the corner of your eye two big burly men whispering to each other while looking at you.
You reach into your purse to grab a couple of bills, with your business card tucked between them. You hand them to him, "Thank you for your help. I promise I won't stop until I get the guy. You and your sister stay safe, okay?" He takes the money and notices your card, slipping it into his pocket along with the bills. "We will. Now go, get out of here. There's an employees only exit down the hall from the bar. Take it."
You thank him for the tip, getting out of your seat as smoothly as possible to avoid further suspicion. You make it seem like you're heading towards the bathrooms, but using the line outside of them to slip between the people and cover yourself from being noticed taking the exit Pietro had suggested. You don't know if you're being followed, but you're not looking back to find out.
You're able to make it down the hall and to the exit, stepping out into the autumn rainy night. You find yourself in the alley at the back of the nightclub. You would have to walk about a block in the rain to your car. Luckily, it's only a light pour, so your view isn't obstructed.
You're about to head in the direction of where you parked when out of nowhere, someone grabs your arm. You swing your arm and hit them with your purse, the stranger calling out your name with a familiarity that causes you to still. You look over and hiding below a blue baseball cap is a pair of cerulean eyes you know all too well.
It's Bucky.
"Bucky? How are you here? How did you find me?" You're relieved to see him, even if a part of you doesn't believe he's right in front of you. "Did you seriously think you were going to fend off a possible attack with a little black purse?" He looks at you like he can't believe your first defensive move was a purse hit. Especially after everything he taught you.
"You caught me off guard. You're lucky I went with the purse and not my gun," you retort, watching the way Bucky's body is tense like he's prepared for anything. He lets go of your arm, shrugging off his jacket and placing it over your shoulders. "You're lucky the bouncers didn't search your purse before letting you in."
Seems like you were both favored by luck tonight.
"Let's get out of here, my car's a few blocks away," he says, grabbing a hold of your hand and pulling you in the opposite direction of where your car is parked.
"My car's closer, let's just take mine," you tell him, trying to keep up with his pace. He notices and slows down a step, "There's a lot we need to talk about, but there's still a possibility we might be followed, so just trust me and follow my lead, okay?" You nod, continuing your walk down the narrow street, one hand in his and the other holding his jacket close to your body. It smells like his cologne, a woodsy scent with a hint of leather.
You make it down the street just fine, but when you round the corner you can tell something's wrong by the way Bucky tightens his hold on your hand. He lets go of your hand in favor of wrapping your arm around his for a closer hold.
"Don't look behind us, but we're being followed. Just stick close, and try to keep up as best as you can," he whispers the instruction before picking up the pace. You balance your weight on your heels to keep up. You don't look back, but you can hear the slight thump of footsteps a few feet behind you.
Your heels click against the asphalt in time with the rhythm of your heartbeat. You lean into Bucky's side to steady yourself, the moisture on the ground from the rain making it harder for you to get stable footing. You don't question Bucky for every turn he makes, every street he crosses, or any shortcuts he takes. You're not exactly in the nicest part of the city, and you trust him to know his way around enough to get you back to safety.
The footsteps behind you never falter no matter how swift Bucky is at changing directions. The rain starts to pour down harder, lowering visibility and causing you to stumble. Bucky steadies you, taking off his baseball cap to place it on your head. You can see better now, and notice that you're headed toward a park.
The ground beneath you softens, and the trees make a decent shelter from the rain. Bucky turns his head to scan the area behind you and his shoulders relax. You're not being followed anymore.
Lightning strikes the sky before the world seems to shake from the thunder. Bucky leads you to a small wooden gazebo to catch your breath. Letting you go in first while he scans the park one last time. A breathy laugh escapes you, whether from the nerves or the adrenaline of being followedâyou're not sure.
"You find this funny?" Bucky joins you under the shelter, water droplets falling from his hair after being smothered by rain. You frown, crossing your arms, "No, of course not. I get the severity of what just happened, the laugh just slipped out."
"What the hell were you even thinking back there? Do you understand what would've happened to you if I had arrived a second too late?" Bucky's voice shakes with a desperate anger, his eyes swimming with a despair that makes your heart squeeze in your chest. It's still trying to catch up from the run, and the look Bucky is giving you isn't helping.
"But nothing happened, Bucky. I'm okay," you assure him gently, like he's a frightened animal you're trying not to scare off. Bucky shakes his head, his eyes shining from the rain or with tears, you're not sure, but it's devastating either way.
"You're okay because I was there. If I hadn't beenâŚ" His voice trails off like it hurts to finish that sentence. He runs his hand through his hair with a frustrated huff, "God, the worst part is I know exactly what would've happened to you. And I would have had to live with that for the rest of my life."
You bridge the space between you, taking his hands into yours, "But nothing happened, Bucky. If something were to happen to me you can't put the blame on yourself like I'm your responsibility."
Your name leaves his lips with a longing that causes your heart to skip a beat, "You know that's not what this is about," he lets go of one of your hands to motion between you, "We can dance around this all you want until you're ready, but don't pretend like you don't know what you mean to me. I can't lose this. I can't lose you."
You feel an overwhelming surge of emotions you've held back for so long fight its way to the surface. You hate seeing how upset he is at the thought of losing you, but you get it. You'd be lost without him. And it would be the end of him if he lost the one person he opened up to after years of isolation and managed to make a part of him he thought was broken whole againâyou.
You go to embrace him, needing to feel close to him and hoping to convey with your hold what you want to say, even if you're not ready to say it. He reciprocates your hug immediately, holding you just as tightlyâlike you'd disappear if he let go.
The rain patters against the roof of the gazebo creating a calming atmosphere around you. It's like you two are the only ones who exist in the world right now. You've never felt safer than here in his arms, so you savor it for as long as you can.
Until the thunder rattles the gazebo, reminding you of where you are.
"Is this a bad time to mention I got a good lead?"
He laughs in disbelief, "Of course you fucking did." You laugh with him, catching his eye and seeing a twinkle in them. "Is this a bad time to ask you who told you that outfit was a good idea without checking the weather?" You roll your eyes and playfully smack his back, "Shut it."
You're about to pull away, but his hold stays. "Give me a minute, doll. Just stay with me for another minute." The plea in his voice is gentle, like he'd let go if you really asked him to, but you won't. Clearly, you both need this pocket of peace to last a little longer. So you stand there in your shelter from the rain and hold each other like it's your only lifeline in this world.
Bucky and Alpine came to your place that night for an impromptu sleepover. You both showered in your own apartments before reconvening at yours. There was a lot you needed to discuss, which you did over chow mein and pot stickers from your favorite Chinese restaurant across from your apartment, Uncle Lou's. You told Bucky what happened from the moment you decided to go undercover, to why you did it, what Pietro revealed to you, and everything else leading up to when he met you outside the nightclub. He still wasn't happy about it, but what's done is done.
Bucky on the other hand explained he had heard your full government name in one of Hydra's communications, apparently one of the patrons recognized you although the name of the patron wasn't disclosed. That's how he knew you were there. He has your name flagged in the system for safety reasons, and it's a good thing he did because as soon as your name was mentioned an alarm went off on his phone. He was able to access the security cameras at The Red Skull, and when he confirmed you were in fact there, he rushed over as quickly as possible.
He knows how Hydra operates, so he had a tow truck arranged to get your car from the nightclub's parking lot and tow it back to the bureau out of an abundance of caution. There was no guarantee that you could drive your car safely back home without being followed. He parked his car at the park where the gazebo was, somewhere out of the way enough where he could shake off anyone that attempted to follow you.
Bucky had thought of everything.
He wasn't surprised to hear about the secret escort service, although it wasn't around when he was there. He didn't recognize Valentina's name, but he had a vague recollection of Agatha's. You play the audio recording from your necklace on your laptop, so he can get a better idea of everything that was said. To say he didn't appreciate having to hear you flirt with another man is an understatement.
The rest of the night was spent researching and bouncing off theories to each other. You ended up falling asleep on the couch, your feet resting on his lap. He dozed off right after, with Alpine curled up in the space between you.
The weekend is spent collecting as much evidence as you can, so that following Tuesday you can face Fury and hopefully keep his anger at bay as you tell him about your unofficial undercover mission. You hope the discovery will be enough to not be reprimanded too harshly.
But Fury truly lives up to his name.
Things don't start off as smoothly as you hoped when you tell him what you did, sitting in the chair on the other side of his desk, laptop in your lap at the ready with a presentation of evidence displayed on the screen. You've lost count how many times he's cursed in the last five minutes. Going off about if he's just a painting on the wall and does no one understand what the title of director means?
The worst part is how he looks at you like a disappointed father would, making you feel like a scolded child. He exhales heavily, sitting down in his chair, "You recognize what you did was stupid and reckless."
"Yes, sir, but Iâ"
"And that you could've very easily gotten killed and jeopardized not only your case, but the Hydra one as well."
"Yes, sir."
"You also recognize that while it was extremely reckless it resulted in obtaining the biggest lead we've had on the Brooklyn Ripper case since we've had it."
You can breathe again, "I do, sir."
He nods, approving that you understand, "Alright. While you did manage to get a good lead, this can never happen again. From here on out, everything you do with this case goes through me, got it?"
"Yes, sir." you reply, but he doesn't see the way you cross your fingers in your lap.
"Good. Now, show me what you found." It seems in the pursuit of taking Hydra down, Fury doesn't care what methods are used.
You start from the beginning. How you came to the conclusion of checking out the nightclub, and how you infiltrated itâomitting the part where Ava helped you look the part. You tell him what Pietro told you, letting him hear some of the audio clips for himself. You don't mention being followed afterwards, instead sticking to a story that you left as soon as Pietro gave you the warning and took a taxi home while your car was towed here out of precaution. Fury praises you for the quick thinking and you have to stop yourself from giving Bucky the credit he deserves.
You then go in on the finer details. You dive deeper into Valentina and her off the record escort service she runs with Hydra. You mention how Valentina has been arrested twice for promoting prostitution, but was released with a warning both times. Word on the streetâwhat Bucky discoveredâis she's got plenty of blackmail on enough cops in the NYPD to keep her out of jail. She has no official ties with Hydra, but she does get paid to take a few girls from them, teach them the works, and offer them to higher paying clientele. If your speculation is true, then every woman killed connected to Hydra was part of this underground escort service. Whether Valentina knows it or not, the girl's Valentina is taking in from Hydra become the Brooklyn Ripper's preferred victims.
Fury takes in all the information you give him, "We need to bring Valentina in, but without giving away what we know. I'll get a detail on her to locate her whereabouts. As soon as she slips up, she'll be arrested. We'll have to have her brought to a trusted police station, and instead of one of the local detectives interrogating her, it'll be one of us. We can play it off like we're making sure she's safe from Hydra."
Fury's plan seems like the logical play. Getting a one on one chat with Valentina could prove to be crucial to uncovering the identity of the Brooklyn Ripper. She probably even knows who it is without knowing it's him, and having her in custody would help in getting warrants to access her personal property. You would be able to get a hand on all the numbers and channels she uses for her communications that Bucky could then investigate deeper. There's also a possibility she might still have messages or other evidence on her devices that could connect her to the victims.
"You said one of the patrons recognized you?" Fury breaks your thought process with a question.
You nod, "It must have been. At the time I was in the nightclub, Pierce and Rumlow were located to be in different parts of the city, so they couldn't have recognized me. I'm not working the Hydra case close enough for anyone else there to have recognized me. I didn't have my badge on me, so whoever saw me knew me from somewhere."
He taps on his desk like he's mulling something over, "You have to be more careful then. If this escort service is being used to blackmail high profile people, anyone you've been in contact with at the any of the city's charity galas or events throughout the years could be a client of Valentina's. We'll have to be more discreet from here on out."
There's an uneasiness that settles its way into your heart when you think of all the people you know and how any one of them could've been so cold to rat you out like that. Especially knowing what Hydra would have done to you.
After another brief exchange, Fury dismisses you as he has a virtual meeting to attend. You walk back to your desk, letting out a breath of relief. John is sitting in his when you approach, giving you an are you okay look, "Everything okay? That sounded intense for a minute there."
You sit down at your desk, a heat spreading on your face when you realize your coworkers most likely heard Fury reprimanding you. "Yeah, I kind of went over his authority, so the yelling was warrantedâŚ" John's expression is one of surprise, not thinking of you as someone who would break the rules.
If only he knew about your vigilante partner.
You quickly summarize the events to John. You'd tell him a more detailed version of it later when you both reconvene with Lamar, but for now a more condensed version is all you can give with the energy you have left after being yelled at. John's demeanor shifts immediately, "That was extremely dangerous, you could've gotten really hurt." He scolds you, his disappointment matching Fury's, but somehow coming from John it doesn't feel as serious.
"I went in knowing the risks, but I'm here now aren't I? It's all good," you try to brush it off, not wanting to hear another lecture. His eyes narrow, "No, it's not. The few times Lamar and I have gone up to The Red Skull while chasing a leadâwe've never come out without having to get into a fight with security and have their guns drawn on us. It's a miracle you came out unscathed."
"Not a miracle, I just got lucky."
"Lucky or not, some of us really care about you," he follows his statement with the mention of your name, "And weâme, honestly I don't know what I would have done if you got hurt." The heavy weight of the sentiment beneath the surface of those words sits in your chest uncomfortably. Carol's words echo in your mind, but beyond that, there's a wave of nausea that hits you. You always considered John a good colleague and friend, and you'd be lying if you said you'd ever thought of him in any other way.
This is the man who showed you the ropes when you first got transferred here. He's the kind of guy that would get up mid conversation to hold the door open for someone on the other side of the room and the kind of partner that would take a bullet for youâhe's done it twice for Lamar. He does have his quirks. Saying things that come off wrong, on bad days being impatiently temperamental, and walking around with the confidence of a man who thinks he's owed attention. Sometimes he's not the best guy, but he's always been a good friend.
You feel like you've been put between a rock and a hard place. Made even worse by what he says next.
"There's actually something I'd like to talk about with youâmaybe over dinner or coffee?" There's a hope in his voice that's hard to miss, and you wish the ground would swallow you whole then and there. You've never been put in this position before. How do you stay truthful to how you feel, but not make things awkward or lose a friend?
"John IâI don't⌠Could we hold this conversation off until I'm done with this case?" You try to buy yourself some time. Hopefully enough to figure out the best way to turn him down.
"You're allowed to live your life outside of here."
"I know, but it wouldn't sit well with me."
John give you a tight smile, like he already knows this is going nowhere, "Okay, I get it. Don't worry about it, okay? Have a good rest of your day." He gets up from his desk and walks off, out the doors and out of sight.
There's a pit at the bottom of your stomach when you watch him walk away. You find yourself getting up from your desk as well. Looking across the room and feeling relief when you notice Carol is at hers. It's almost like she can sense your distress the way her eyes look up from her computer and lock with yours. You beckon her to follow you into the break room and she doesn't hesitate to get up and scurry along to meet you there. And when you tell her what happened with John, her I told you so is as smug as it is jovial.
"Jesus Christ, I cannot believe he finally asked you out and you turned him down like that," she says almost in awe, like she's sorry she missed the interaction.
"Carol, I thought it was clear I don't date divorced men."
"But John's also your friend."
"Yes, my divorced friend."
She tilts her head like she's recalling something, the curiosity in her eyes evident, "Did you say no because of that or because of this secret man you have everyone talking about?"
You do a double take. Surely, you misheard her. "Excuse me, what? I have a secret man that everyone's talking about? What do you mean by everyone?"
She snickers, enjoying how flustered you're getting, "Well, rumor has it you have a boyfriendâa secret lover." Her tone is playful, so you don't know if you can take her serious or not.
"Carol this isn't funny."
"Oh, it's not. I'm the closest friend you have and you didn't tell me that you're seeing someone? I should be offended."
You roll your eyes at her dramatics, "There was nothing to tell you because I don't have a secret boyfriend." You then add with a hint of panic in your voice, "Is this like a big rumor in the bureau?" She shakes her head, "No, I was just teasing you. Lamar told me you were texting someone special." You let out something between a groan and a sigh.
"God, you're the worst."
"Oh, you love me."
You chat with her for another few minutes, but the conversation mainly consists of her teasing you and taking jabs at John. When the laughter quiets, a memory comes back to you.
"By the way, have you tried accessing any of the Hydra or Brooklyn Ripper files recently?" You ask her, recalling her name in the access history. She thinks it over before shaking her head, "I don't think so. My card only works like half the time I try to access any of the Punisher files. Why?"
"It's nothing, it's just your name popped up under the history of those who last accessed the files," you mention and she scoffs sarcastically, "Great, so now my card is glitching out the system. If only Stark weren't such an ass about the budget." You hum in agreement, at ease now that that's cleared up.
"That was a good attempt at changing the subject, but you're not getting away from telling me all about this guy," she looks at you expectantly, like you better not even dream of hiding anything from her.
"There is no guy, he's just my neighbor." Your very handsome neighbor who you're in love with and who you're almost certain returns your feelings. Who's waiting on you patiently for something that can become the greatest thing to ever happen to you, but you're not ready to accept you deserve.
That all seems too complicated to explain, so you'll go with neighbor for now.
"Shut up, there is a guy and I want to hear all about it," Carol is determined to get all the details out of you, but your gossip session is cut short when Special Agent Maria Hill walks into the break room. Seeing as she's Fury's right hand woman you and Carol end your chatter there, heading out of the break room and back to work.
However, the look that Carol gives you lets you know this conversation is far from over.
When you go home that night, there's a tension in the air that's palpable enough to feel it in your fingertips. The kind of unrest that makes you want to reach for your gun and be prepared for anything that might happen next. The wind seems to whisper warnings of what's to come and it travels up your spine, making you shiver.
You find yourself picking up your pace, wanting to enter your apartment with the haste of someone who's being chased. In a moment of deja vu, Bucky opens the door to his apartment when he hears you about to enter yours. Alpine isn't in his arms this time, and there's a grim look on his face that makes your body grow cold.
"Come with me. I need to show you something," the urgency in his voice has you entering his apartment without question. Once you're inside he leads you to his living room, and suggests you take a seat before he talks. Alpine jumps on the coffee table, pacing it like even she can feel there's something wrong.
"There's no easy way of revealing this, so I'll just show you," He hands you a manila envelope, it's outwardly unassuming at a first glance. You take it from him, noticing the way there's nothing written on the outside of it. "Yori ended up getting our mail mixed up again. I found that envelope in my mail pile. There was no name written on it, so Yori probably assumed it was mine. When I went down to ask him who delivered it he couldn't remember, and coincidentally the security cameras were down when it got delivered," Bucky explains as you open the folder, reach inside, and find a multitude of pictures inside.
Pictures of you.
At the grocery store, walking into and out of work, at the coffee shop you love by the bureau, getting food from a delivery driver outside of your building, pictures of your window where you can be seen reading and cookingâall candid pictures of you dating back months ago. Even Bucky can be seen in some of them with you, but they're all mainly of just you.
Someone had been watching your every move for months.
And that someone would most likely be the Brooklyn Ripper.
The blood drains from your face, your stomach churning the more you stare at the photos. You've had moments where you felt like you were being watched, but you brushed it off thinking this case had you unjustifiably paranoid. At first glance, you thought the pictures were taken by someone working for Hydra, but after analyzing the changes in your hair, your clothes, and the environment around youâthese pictures go back to over half a year ago. Almost to around the time you were assigned to this case.
"Did you ever notice you were being watched or followed?" Bucky sits next to you on couch, his stance protective, like if he could somehow protect you from this dark reality he'd do it in a heartbeat.
You shake your head, "No, but I should have. I'm trained for stuff like this, I shouldn't have missed all of this. I'm so off my game, I can't believe I let this happen." Your grip on the pictures tightens, and Bucky has to pry them out of your hands. "Don't blame yourself, doll. This guy is a professional fucking creep and he knows how to do this without being caught. I'm trained to notice stuff like this too and I didn't catch it either."
"This picture here," you grab the one that has you and Bucky walking down your home street, "the dress I'm wearing in it is the one I wore to your birthday dinner. That was seven months ago, around the time I was assigned the Brooklyn Ripper case. If he's been watching me this whole time, then why hasn't he done anything?"
Bucky grits his teeth, "Because this is some kind of sick twisted game to him. He kept an eye on you even though he was sure you'd never catch himâbut that was before. If he had the guts to send you these pictures now and show his hand like this, that means you're getting close to finding him. This is his way of scaring you off." You like the idea of the killer getting nervous you're onto him, even if it meant having to face being stalked.
"You said the cameras were down when the envelope was delivered?" You repeat, and Bucky grunts in annoyance, "They were compromised. Someone managed to cut the wires at the exact moment the mail is usually delivered. It wasn't a hard fix so I fixed them up for Yori. I even went over and hijacked the cameras from Uncle Lou's restaurant across the street to keep on eye on the windows."
Your lips part, "Bucky, you did not."
He doesn't look one bit ashamed, "I did too. I don't take your safety lightly, doll. Which is why you're staying here tonight."
"I own a gun, Bucky. I'm sure he knows not to get too close," you say to lighten the tension, but in all honesty, you're not against staying here with him tonight.
"Don't make me beg, doll," he regrets those words when he sees your smile widen, giving you a look like it's not the right time to mess with him. Although, he'd prefer to see a smile on your face than anything else, so if you wanted to tease him right now, he won't complain. Even Alpine comes over and jumps on your lap to give you the prettiest eyes that ask you to stay.
Yeah, you weren't saying no to either of them tonight.
You were still shaken up from the pictures when Bucky accompanied you to your apartment to get a few things for the night. You had lost your appetite, so after showering at his place and changing into a comfy pajama set, you were ready to call it a night. Bucky had brewed you an herbal tea before bed to calm your nerves, one he said his mother made him when he was anxious. You discussed how the talk with Fury went over tea, and what the FBI was planning to do with Valentina. Bucky agreed it was a smart move, and mentioned he'd be able to get access into her private files as soon as the FBI obtained her devices.
The weight on your shoulders feels lighter after the tea and the talk with Bucky. A new sense of hope you haven't felt in a long time settles in your chest. Bucky notices you start to blink slower and your yawning gets more frequent, so he tells you to go to bed. You don't resist, sleep is calling your name like a lullaby.
You make your way to the living room, prepared to set up the couch when Bucky stops you. âYou're sleeping in my room. Iâm taking the couch.â Your eyebrows raise, eyes darting between him and yourself. Out of the two of you, you'd surely be more comfortable on the couch than him. âBucky, the couch is perfectly fine for me.âÂ
He points to Alpine, "Sheâs sleeping with you tonight and she always gets the bed so,â he shrugs like that explains everything. As if on cue, Alpine makes her way over to you and paws at your feet until you pick her up. Â
âSheâs alsoâsheâs good for nightmares,â Bucky utters quietly and you freeze in your spot. How did he know? You've never told a soul about them, not even Bucky who you trust the most. It was a sore subject for you that stung like an open wound. You rarely had nightmares before, but they became more frequent after seeing the first victim you worked on for the Brooklyn Ripper case back in May. What you've seen since then stays with you even in your sleep.
"I get them too, sometimes. I can tell," he whispers, reading your mind all too well and sharing another piece of himself he finds he doesn't fear giving to you. You appreciate him sharing this with you, this shared vulnerability that establishes a gentle solidarity between you on the subject. âThank you, Bucky," you reply softly, holding Alpine a little closer to your chest, like hugging her could fix a part of you that you don't acknowledge as broken. You follow up with a small goodnight which he returns. Parting from each other reluctantly, with neither of you voicing the one word that could bring you back together.
You enter his bedroom, leaving the door slightly ajar so Alpine can go in and out easily. You lay her on the bed gently, the moonlight coming in through the blinds casts a soft light in the room as you settle in the bed. His sheets smell of lavender detergent and something uniquely him. The scent wrapping around you like it were the blanket itself.
You close your eyes, in the darkness, the last thing you feel before falling asleep is Alpine cuddling into your side. You always seem to get a better nights sleep when Bucky is around, so hopefully tonight is no different.
Bucky was right about one thing, Alpine is good for nightmares. Minutes into falling asleep you fall into a deep slumber. One that seems will not be interrupted by any bad dreams tonight.
Alpine is, however, not good for things that go bump in the night.
It was around three in the morning when you first heard it. A loud crash in the room on the other side of the wall of Bucky's bedroom. The noise startles you awake. You sit up in bed, your heart hammering in your chest. You wonder if you hallucinated the sound, simply paranoid after the stalking revelation. Poor Alpine had jumped on the other side of the bed when you woke up so abruptly. You're about to reach out for her to comfort her when you hear something else.
A heavy continuous thump on the other side of the wall that might be footsteps, and then a rustling you can't tell what it is. The goosebumps that cover your skin happen at the realization that the room on the other side of this wall is your bedroom.
The Brooklyn Ripper is in your bedroom.
On any other day you might have believed what you heard to be a random break in. But after those pictures you received, there's no doubt in your mind who's in your apartment right now.
If you can hear him, then that means he can hear you. You're careful when getting out of bed, every step you take is as light as possible as you exit the bedroom. You open the door just enough where you can slip through. Your gun is in the duffel bag you left at the foot of Bucky's couch earlier in the night. You have to get to it, this is the closest you ever have been to catching the killer.
Through the warm glow from the lamp Bucky left on in the living room, you see him sprawled across the couch, snoring lightly in his sleep. He's shirtless, muscular chest on display with only his dog tags decorating it. The blanket messily strewn over himself barley covers the way his gray sweatpants are riding lower in his sleep.
Focus, there's a killer in your room.
As you step closer to the couch, the floor board creaks beneath you and his eyes shoot open. They take a second to adjust in the darkness before they land on you, squinting at you quizzically.
âI think the killer is in my room,â you whisper loud enough for Bucky to hear, his expression hardening. You reach for your bag, grabbing your gun and pulling it out while Bucky gets up from his couch. He's quick on his feet, grabbing his own gun from a safety box in the broom closet in his hallway. He prefers to act first, ask questions later.
You join him in the hallway, "I thought I was hearing things at first, but then there were more noises on the other side of wall," you whisper, grabbing Bucky's arm and leading him into his bedroom. You're both careful to not make the floor creak the closer you get to the wall. Alpine is gone from the room, and it's dead silent inside. Your ears strain to pick up any sound on the other side and after a few breaths of silence you hear it, the rustling is back.
Bucky wasn't kidding when he claimed the walls were thin.
You both leave his room with minimal sound. Back in the hallway you whisper, "We have to get in there, Bucky. This could be our chance to catch him." He firmly nods, "Alright, but only if we stick together. We don't know what we'll find when we get in there or what kind of weapons this guy has."
You agree, shuffling over to your duffel bag to grab your keys, taking off the one for your apartment off the ring, to avoid the extra noise. Careful with every step you take, you make it out into the hallway. You hope none of your neighbors are awake to step out and see you and Bucky with your guns drawn, you don't know how you would explain your way out of it without alarming anyone.
Bucky is right behind you when you put your ear up to your door. You listen in for a few seconds, but when you're met with silence you put the key in the lock and open the door. The lights are off just like you left them. The moonlight filtering in through the windows gives you enough light to make out your surroundings. Bucky closes the door behind you quietly, stepping forward first, his military training coming in handy making his steps featherlight.
You're one step behind him, covering his back. Your hands are outstretched with your gun at the ready, eyes darting around your home for any sign of danger. Your one bedroom apartment is small enough that there's not much space you have to clear before heading over to your bedroom.
You're both up against the door, staring at each other while you wait for a sign that the killer is still there. The silence stretches for what seems like forever, until you can't take it anymore and nod at Bucky to know you're ready to head inside. He counts to three on his fingers before you both barge in to the room.
"FBI! Show yourself!" You identify yourself, flipping the switch on your tactical light on your gun to see your surroundings better. Your window is wide open, the small plotted plants you had on your windowsill knocked over and broken on the floor. Your entire room is covered in bright orange flyersâthere must be about a hundred of them, crinkling again the ground with every step taken.
Regrettably, you receive no response. Whoever broke in is now gone.
You curse under your breath while checking your closet, but the killer is not in there. You step towards your window, swearing you had it locked shut before you left for work in the morning. You don't see anyone out on the street, but he could be hiding somewhere in the shadows.
He could even be watching you right now.
You shut your window, locking it a few times before you're certain it stays. You close the curtains and turn around to look at the haphazardly thrown flyers covering every inch of your bed and floor. Bucky has one is his hand, scowling at it like he can't figure out what it means.
You pick one up at your feet. It looks exactly the same as the one on the pizza box from last week. The only difference is that this one has a bright red circle on the date, October 25th. You shine the light from your gun on the flyers, they all have that date circled.
Why would the killer go through all that effort to do this?
Bucky grabs a handful of the flyers catching your attention. He puts a finger to his lips as a warning to keep quiet, before tapping on his ear and you put two and two together. The killer had been in your room long enough to plant these flyers and maybe something else. He could've planted something in here to listen in or keep watch.
The chill that runs through you has nothing to do with icy floor beneath your bare feet.
After another quick check you leave your apartment and head next door to his. He turns on the big light to get a better look at the flyer while you put away your gun.
"First thing in the morning I'll check your entire apartment to make sure that creep didn't plant any bugs or cameras," he promises, assuring you the killer won't get to have anymore access to you. You nod along, but all you can think about is what would have happened if you hadn't stayed at Bucky's place tonight.
"Do you know why he would leave dozens of these in your room? What is it for?" He asks, holding up the flyer. You blink at it, "I don't. It's a flyer for the autumn carnival they host in Queens." That only causes more confusion to appear on Bucky's face, "Have you mentioned wanting to go to someone?" You shake your head, "No, not that I can think of. The only time I've ever seen that flyer was when I was talking to John and Lamar the night the last victim was killed."
"You had this conversation at work?"
"Yes."
Bucky glances at the coffee table where your phone lies. He strides over to it and powers it off. "This guy has been watching you for months. He might have tapped your phone and your devices at work. I'll check your phone in the morning too and see if its been compromised." You're feeling sicker by the minute.
"He's starting to escalate, sending the pictures and then breaking into my room. He must have figured out I wasn't there tonight and that's why he left all those flyers instead," you conclude based on everything so far. Bucky's hand balls into a fist when he thinks of what could've happened if he hadn't offered for you to stay here tonight. It's not a thought he wants to dwell on when you're standing here with him, safe.
"You're close to getting him," he motions to the flyer in your hands, "he circled the twenty fifth. I have a feeling he'll be there that day, and he wants you to be there too." You came to the same conclusion. The Brooklyn Ripper wouldn't exert all this effort for nothing. It was clear he was inviting you on some sick twisted kind of date, one to end things once and for all.
For you or him.
"If that's what he wants then that's what he'll get. I'm sick of this guy and I'm ready to put an end to this." Nothing would stop you from being there on Saturday.
"You'll want to send in back up to monitor the entire perimeter. Maybe even an undercover operation on a larger scale," Bucky suggests, but you shoot that idea down instantly, "No. The FBI can't find out about this."
"Why?"
You gnaw on the inside of your lip, "There's been something nagging at me from the moment I saw those photos. Especially the one from the day of your birthday dinner," you walk over to the TV stand, the photos from the envelope are neatly stacked in one pile on top of it. You look through them, finding the one you're looking for and then handing it to Bucky.
"This picture is from March. The only people who knew I was assigned to this case were part of the FBI. The public knew the FBI took over the case, but only the agents at the bureau knew me and Laura had been assigned to it." Bucky takes the picture from your hand and goes down the same line of thought you have, "Then the killer might be working for the FBI. That would explain why he's so well at covering up evidence, and why he always seems to be five steps ahead of everything."
"I'll have to do this off the record without FBI involvement. At this point, I have to assume anyone at the bureau could be a suspectâeven Fury," thinking about one of your colleagues being the killer makes your heart sink all the way to the bottom of your stomach. The way you could have passed them through the halls or had small talk with them in the break room, all meanwhile they were planning their next kill. Any innocent inquiry of your day or about the case could have been their way of taunting you. It was a hard pill to swallow.
"Then, I'll be going with you. You'll need the backup," he states, crossing his arms like he's ready to hear you protest, but you give him none. Instead, you give him a condition, "Only if you promise me you'll run if at any point your identity could be compromised." Catching the Brooklyn Ripper was important, but not worth jeopardizing Bucky's entire life over.
He takes a step closer to you, if he reached out he could touch you, "Not if it's between choosing saving my ass or yours. I'm choosing you every time."
"James."
"No," he echos your name like you did his, "If I get caught then let me face the consequences of my own decisions. I'm choosing to help you. I'm choosing to be there. It's my choice." His stance on this is unwavering and your voice comes out quieter than you wanted to when you reply, "I'm asking you to promise because I care about your safety too. I won't let this monster take away something else from me or anyone else. He's taken enough."
His eyes soften, and he takes another step to shorten the space between you. Yours instinctively rest on his chest, while his right hand raises to cup your face, "I know, doll, but that's something I can't promise, I'm sorry." You sigh, your head falling to his chest, the heat of his skin warming your own.
"Sometimes you can be really stubborn and it's frustrating."
He chuckles, "I can be stubborn? Have you met yourself?" Your reply is a pinch to his hip causing him to laugh again, "Someone's grouchy when they're tired. Go back to bed, doll. We can continue this conversation tomorrow."
"Yeah, yeah. Goodnight," you're about to dismiss yourself, finding yourself annoyed at him, but he stops you by gently grabbing your wrist and pulling you into him so you're close enough for him to plant a soft kiss on your head.
"Goodnight."
You're able to sleep just fine the rest of the night.
The next morning, Bucky checks every corner of your apartment, and fortunately finds the Brooklyn Ripper didn't plant anything anywhere. He cleans the mess the killer left behind, changing the lock on your bedroom window, and making a mental note to buy you new pots to replace the shattered ones. In the meantime, he salvaged what he could and gave the plants temporary homes in plastic cups.
Bucky had also scanned your phone and found it wasn't tapped, furthering the theory that the killer is one of your colleagues. You checked in on Laura while Bucky was busy in your apartment, feeling guilty you had forgotten about her this past week. As discreetly as you could, you tried to pry and figure out if she had received anything interesting in the mail too. You were relieved to find out it seemed the Brooklyn Ripper had only been after you this whole time.
Now you were busy preparing pancake batter for breakfast. Bucky came back by the time you were starting on your first pancake.
Bucky had to take a second when he saw you in his kitchen, morning sunlight highlighting your features to make you shine like an angel. You looked peaceful, happy for once like the weight of the world wasn't on your shoulders.
He'd do anything to keep you like that.
When you notice him, your face lights up making his heart stutter in his chest. You call him over and you fall into easy conversation as he steps in to make some scrambled eggs beside you. The case eventually gets brought up. and Bucky asks you if there's anyone at the FBI you suspect.
"I can't really think of anyone. But there is this one weird guy in the tech department, Quentin Beck," your nose scrunches in disgust when you think of the guy, "He's known to be sleazy, always trying to get women drunk at office events to get them to sleep with him, and now that you mention it, my friend Carol, her access ID stopped working half the time, and the system recorded her ID accessing some files she hadn't."
Bucky stirs the eggs in the pan, "The magnetic stripe on the card could've been messed with. Someone like him would know how to duplicate her card." The idea of the killer being one of your coworkers solidifies itself more and more, getting harder to stomach every time. Bucky can see the shift in your demeanor, so he decides to change the subject.
"You know what this reminds me of?" he says softly, reaching in to the cupboards to grab another pan to start on the bacon.
"Hm?"
"To the day we first met."
You look down at the bubbling pancake and laugh, "That's right. When Alpine snuck into my apartment through the window and scared the living hell out of me. She caused me to burn a perfectly good pancake.
He scoffs, "She did not. She's innocent."
As if knowing she's being talked about, Alpine meows in the distance like she agrees with Bucky. You shake your head at both of them, "She is not! She even caused the fire alarm to go off. You were so grumpy when I told you what she had done."
"That's because you woke me up almost knocking my door down the way you we're banging on it," he justifies his attitude back then, remembering with a smirk, how flustered you were that day when he opened his door in only his boxers. In his defense, he really had just woken up.
"Now you're just exaggerating."
"I'm pretty sure there's still a dent on the door from that day."
You both laugh at his teasing. The memory of that day now fresh in your minds like it happened yesterday. When the laughter dies down to a comfortable silence, you can't seem to look away from each other. A fondness in both your expressions that makes time stand still. He leans into your space and your heart skips a beat. Your eyes fall to his lips for a split second and he notices. The corner of his lips tug into something coyâsomething magneticâand when his arm reaches around you, you think you know what's about to happen next.
He uses his wooden spoon to turn the half burnt pancake in the pan.
"Try not to burn these pancakes too, doll," he winks at you, grinning cheekily like he knows exactly what he's doing. You gawk at him as he takes a piece of cooked bacon and eats it, continuing as normal. Even when his expression gave away just how much he was enjoying this.
Bucky will kiss you eventually. This isn't the frist time he's held back from doing so, but he knows the first kiss between you has to come from you. You haven't been as forward as he has with affection, and he doesn't want to push you into anything you're not ready for. So, he'll patiently wait for your move, and when you make itâhe'll stop holding back and show you the kind of passion they write about in books.
The rest of the morning into the following days are filled with small moments of normalcy stuffed between extensive hours of planning, prepping, and collecting all the evidence of the case into one new theory. The one involving one of your colleagues being the killer. You end up having to lie to Fury and call into work sick with the flu to give you extra time to prepare for Saturday.
Fury is upset about this as he wanted you to be in there with him to question Valentina, but he wishes you a quick recovery. When they manage to get her on Friday over a parking ticket violation, John and Lamar are the ones to question her. And to no ones surprise, she lawyers up as soon as she's in police custody.
Her counsel? Alexander Pierce.
Fury is not happy about that at all.
The envelop filed pictures, and apartment break in proved to be a better lead than Valentina could have provided anyway, so you aren't mourning the loss of that lead.
In addition, there's one thing that Bucky discovered before Saturday comes that will prove to be crucial for Saturday's showdown.
He reviewed the security footage from Uncle Lou's restaurant from the night of the break in. The suspect was covered in a black outfit from head to toeâgloves and allâso Bucky wasn't able to get a good look at him. However, what he did catch was the suspect getting injured on his way down. As he raced down the fire escape, the drop down ladder got stuck, causing him to have to jump down to get away. The distance itself wasn't high enough to cause a serious injury, but it was high enough that he had to be careful with his landing.
Fortunately for you, he wasn't. It's clear from the security footage he doesn't make the landing right, and slips on his way down putting the most pressure on his right knee and shoulder to break his fall. When he gets up to leave, he clutches his shoulder and there's a limp when he attempts to run. The injuries are severe enough that they won't be healed by Saturday.
This discovery might have just saved your lives.
You hope the next time you go to an autumn carnival is under better circumstances than today. The sun is well past the horizon, with the full moon taking it's place in the sky. There's colorful fairy lights strung to illuminate every path, although the multicolored lights from the rides are enough to light up the entire carnival with its festive glow. Children's laughter blends in with attendee's screams of thrill that invite you to come in and see what the fun is all about.
You and Bucky are dressed in your average fall attire to blend in. To everyone else you look like a couple on a date. However, on the inside of your leather jacket you had your gun and badge neatly tucked into a pocket. As for Bucky's leather jacket, who knows what's hiding in it. Even after all this time, you don't know the White Wolf's preferred method of weaponry.
Your first plan of action is to roam the grounds, scan the place, and get familiar with it. Just enough to locate and block out the different sections: food, games, and rides.
Starting at the entrance, you are greeted by rows of booths with carnival games and smaller rides that taper out to the bigger ones on the outskirts of the carnival. In the middle is a large red and white striped tent with magician and clown shows playing at every hour. And at the very far end is a large family area filled with picnic tables to sit at by a large wall of food trucks and stations with endless amount of choices for food to pick from. All in all, the festival was large, but nicely organized in a way that you and Bucky could make a mental map of it the first time walking around.
Sometimes you thought you caught a glimpse of someone you recognized from work, falsely placing the association on a random stranger if you didn't look close enough. To say you were on edge is an understatement. Meanwhile, Bucky seems to be more composed than you. Even stopping to buy some cotton candy from one of the vendors. He offers to buy you one, but you decline, so Bucky resolves to sharing.
He looks like a kid with the boyish grin he's wearing as he takes a bite of the pink sugary fluff. "You sure are enjoying yourself," you tease him with mirth. He hums pleasantly at the taste, not hiding his delight.
"I'm blending in."
"Right."
"You should try it," he tears away another bit of fluff before offering some to you. You can't remember the last time you had cotton candy, so decide to take a page out of Bucky's book and enjoy yourself for a bit. You pull at the sticky treat, getting a nice little ball of fluff to try. The sugar strands melt in your mouth as soon as it hits your tongue.
"Good right?"
"It's pure sugar, Bucky. Of course its good," you giggle, and Bucky's grin only widens with your response. You're on the second round of walking through the carnival grounds, sharing the fluffy treat when Bucky spots you looking at some of the prizes offered in the carnival games.
"You want one?" He points to the prizes.
"A prize? No, they're like impossible to get. All those games are rigged." You don't think it's worth the money while Bucky looks at you like you've challenged him, "Nothing's impossible when you've got the right skills. Tell me which one you want and I'll get it." You don't take him seriously until he stops walking and waits for you to choose one.
So you stop and look around, there's your generic animal plush prizes, the franchise licensed ones, the ones that cater to kids, and the autumnal themed ones. You skim through them, only one of them catching your eye.
"The bat," you point to it, a plush prize for one of those balloon dart games.
He looks to where you're pointing, "The bat? The one with the grumpy face? You sure?"
"Yeah, it's cute, looks like you," at your comparison, Bucky's face falls and you can't help but laugh. He looks even more like the bat now.
"See, you've got the same expression and everything."
Bucky grumbles something under his breath about how there's no way you just described him being as cute as a bat. He honestly doesn't know if he should be offended or flattered.
You both head over to the game stall. He hands you the almost fully eaten cotton candy treat while he tells the game operator he'd like to play and points to the bat as the prize he wants to win. The operator explains to win the bat, Bucky has to at least pop two balloons in a row. While you do have faith that Bucky is excellent with his aim, you have no faith that this game is set up fairly.
And yet, you should never underestimate a man on a mission. Bucky is handed two darts and throws them back to back, popping two balloons in a row leaving the operator stunned. He gives the bat to Bucky and Bucky hands it to you proudly.
You hold it like it's something precious, the polyester smooth to the touch. No one's ever won you anything before. "I can't believe how fast you won that. Even the operator was shocked," you comment, squishing the bats face over how cute it is. He shrugs like it was nothing, adoring the joy it's brought to you, "Would never want to disappoint you, sweetheart."
Your heart does a little flutter at the term of endearment. As a thank you, you plant a quick, but sweet kiss on his cheek. "Thanks, Buck." You don't miss the way his ears tinge pink, and he smiles at you like you're the only reason for his happiness, "Anytime, doll."
You take his hand, leading him down the rows of carnival games to keep looking around. Every step you take is a little lighter, almost forgetting why you were here in the first place.
By the time you make it back to the family area, Bucky excuses himself to take head to the bathroom quickly. You agree to wait for him by the funnel cake stand while you scan the area for something to eat. When Bucky is out of your sight, you feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand.
Someone's watching you.
You examine the droves of people around you, no one seems familiar to you, but you know you're not being paranoid, someone is definitely watching you. And they waited for you to be alone to make themselves known. It's not until your eyes dart back to the entrance of the family area that you spot him. Your first instinct is to smile at him, and you're about to wave him over, but something stops you.
He's not smiling back.
His expression is unreadable, but his eyes rake over your body like he's trying to get one last good look at you.
And most chilling of all? When he turns to leave there's a limp to his step that confirms your worst fears.
It's John Walker. He's the Brooklyn Ripper.
In your state of shock, you lose him in the crowd.
Your feet move before you can reconsider your actions. It shouldn't make senseâJohn being a cold blood killerâit shouldn't, and yet it does. As you push through the crowd of people to catch up to him, all that races through your mind are the pieces of evidence connecting themselves to each other with red threads.
Carol's card, Hydra's connections, his dates that always seems to go bad, the many times he insisted helping you with the case, the frequent check ins to make sure you were doing okay really being excuses to see what you knew about the case, and the way he got upset when you found out about Valentina. Logically, it makes sense, but your heart is lagging behind on reconciling the reality that a friend of yoursâsomeone you would have trusted with your lifeâwas the killer you were searching for all along.
Your head whips around frantically as you try to locate John. Some of the people around you look at you strangely, you must look like such a sight right now.
Should you call Fury? Carol? Should you warn them? Calling in backup means surrounding this place with law enforcement and putting Bucky at risk. That might have to be on the back burner until there was no other choice. To accuse John of being the Brooklyn Ripper requires solid proof, and right now you have none. And it's not like you won much merit with Fury after disappointing him so many times.
Plus, you still don't have a lot of answers like his motive, why the first three victims were different, or what caused him to break. John was in the military before being recruited to the FBI, so he does fits some of the profile, but the rest? The rest are pieces of a puzzle you don't even know if they fit.
By the time you get out of the crowd you worry you've lost him, but the rambunctious shriek of clown laughter catches your attention. You manage to catch John heading inside a funhouse while the teenager who runs it yells at him. John has already made his way in by the time you make it to the clown head entrance.
"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you can't cut the line and you can't go in there right now." The teenager who is most likely not getting paid enough to deal with as many problems as he has tonight, stops you from going in. You reach into your jacket, taking out your badge and it flashing to him. He looks like a fish out of water.
You glance at the name on his tag, "Peter, is there anyone else in that funhouse besides the man that just walked in?" He shakes his head adamantly, "No ma'am. I'm not supposed to let anyone in while it's not fully operational. One of the generators went out, so no ones allowed inside until maintence is done fixing it." You're relieved to hear it'll only be John waiting for you inside.
"Okay, listen here, kid," he straightens up at your words, "The man that just went in there? He's a possible suspect, so I'll be going in to arrest him. How long does this funhouse take to get through?" Peter has an answer right away, "Twenty to thirty minutes depending on how fast you go."
You nod, making a mental note of that while reaching into one of your pockets and taking out your business card. "If I don't come out in twenty, you call this number," you point to the number below yours, the FBI tip line, "You give them my name and you tell them I need backup urgently. And absolutely under no circumstance do you let anyone go into this place, do you hear me?" He takes your card with a shaky hand, "Yes, ma'am."
"Oh and kid," you give him the grumpy bat Bucky won for you, "hold onto this for me. You guard this bat with everything you got or so help me I'll lock you up myself." Peter's eyes go wide in fear, "Yes ma'amâof course, ma'am." He hugs the bat so tightly to his body it's like he's trying to make it a part of him.
You face the funhouse, looking up at the enormous clown head, it's mouth an open wide entrance. Never having been inside a funhouse before, you have no idea what awaits you.
You step inside, pulling out your gun in perfect position as you walk forward. The clown's mouth leads to a neon spinning tunnel. The glow and the dark green swirls contrast with the blues and purples. They spin round and round, encircling you with the intention of making you dizzy as you walk across a metal platform. Peter mentioned there was only one generator out, so you had to hope which ever ones were fine powered enough things inside to help you get through the funhouse and catch John.
You have no idea how far in he is already, so you push onward. Switching on the tactical light on your gun to light your surroundings better. You're halfway through the metal platform when your phone buzzes in your pocket. You know who it is, you know it's Bucky, but you don't have the time for a call. John could be watching you right now. So instead, you quickly take out your phoneâignoring the five texts Bucky sent you prior to calling youâand you send him your live location. He'll be able to find you in no time.
The tunnel isn't hard to get through, and it takes about a minute to complete. The end of it is the start of a mirror maze that seems to have been impacted by the power source. It shuffles through solids colors sporadicallyâsome lasting longer than others. And unlike the tunnel, there's carnival music being played, but it's faint, like someone forgot to turn up the volume.
Your light glares distractingly against the mirrors, so you turn it off before heading in. The strip of lights on the ground are red, your figure reflecting on a myriad of prisms. In the distance there's something that's akin to a chorus of laughter, but you're not sure.
You keep your arms outstretched, using the barrel of your gun to tap on the space in front of you as you navigate the maze. You swipe your legs strategically to feel for what path to take. And it's in the midst of the lights changing from red to purple that you hear someone call out your name.
You whirl in the direction of the sound and three reflections of John stare back at you. You point your gun on them, but you can't tell which one is the real one. He disappears before you can find out.
"John!" You yell out, picking up your pace and accidentally bumping into a wall, "Tell me it's not true. Tell me you're not who I think you are!" You're demanding answers. Not from the killer, but from the man you thought was your friend.
The lights switch to blue.
"You know who I am. You've known me long enough to know." His voice sounds like it's somewhere to your left. You can't rely on your sight in here, so you'll have to rely on getting him to talk to follow his voice.
You bump into another wall, but you brush it off quickly. "I thought I did! A part of me still doesn't think it's true, but tell me John, how did you injure your foot?"
There's a loud metallic clink that echoes to your rightâor was it your left?
"You're asking me, but you sound like you already know how," he sounds closer, the lights flashing to green, then yellow, then back to red in a matter of seconds. It's jarring.
"Do I?" Do you?
"You do," there's a sinister undertone to his words that you can't mistake for anything else. John is showing you his true colors and it's hitting you like a slap to the face.
You grow frustrated, whether it's at yourself for not seeing what was right in front of you or at him for betraying your trust, you can't tell. It's probably both.
"But why? How could you do that? Those women didn't deserve it!"
"They did! Those bitches got what they deserved and so will you!" The malice in his shout startles you as much as the crash following it does. It's easy to locate the source, one of the mirror panels was shattered with bits of glass all over the floor. In his anger, he must have punched it, there's a blood smear on the area of impact. That's good. The more he injures himself, the easier it'll be to take him down. You're not military trained like he is, so you'll take any advantage you can get.
The exit to the mirror maze is up ahead, the laughter getting louder the closer you get to it. Past the mirror maze is a room that looks straight out of a clown horror movie. There are big sacks of what looks like cotton candy, swinging back and forth forcibly like it's purpose were to knock you into the wall. They're sticky to the touch, and hung randomly from the ceiling like they were a maze of their own.
If that wasn't enough, there was a constant strobe light illuminating the room in harsh flashes while carnival music blasted in your ears with hounding waves of clown laughter. The room was designed to be disorienting and overstimulating, and you were feeling that and more right now.
You move throughout the room as best as you can, trying to doge every swinging obstacle, but still managing to get hit a few times. You can't tell if John is still in the room with you, so there's an extra edge of fear to every movement you see in the corner of your eyes.
Toward the end, the big puffs of cotton candy stubbornly stick to your body like they're trying to drag you back into the room. The music and laughter seem to be getting louder and the flashes of light more bold and frequentâit's throwing you every which wayâyou're losing your sense of direction.
When you step into the next room, you are welcomed by darkness. Your eyes are having a hard time adjusting after being battered by lights, the ghosts of them lingering behind your eyelids with every blink. The laughter and music are now faint and blocked out by the partition separating the rooms. It's so silent, the ringing in your ears is the loudest thing in here.
You switch the tactical light on your gun back on, the spotlight reveals a sight that has you grateful you didn't step further into the room.
The entire floor is a ball pit.
From up above you can't tell how deep it goes, but it's at least twenty to forty feet longâabout your average pool sizeâor at least that's what your scattered mind comes up with. It's like a giant rainbow sea, one big enough to hide a man like John inside, and you have a gut feeling that while you were navigating the previous room, he hid somewhere in hereâready to catch you off guard.
You crouch down, slowly making your way inside the ball pitâfeet firstâknowing you had no choice but to go through it. Whatever twisted game John was playing with you, he was clearly enjoying. He couldn't outrun you and he has too many injuries to take you down as easily as he's used to with his previous victims. He needed to give himself the element of surprise to get the upper hand on you.
The light on your gun reflects off the obnoxious yellow colored walls surrounding the ball pit. You submerge yourself all the way in, the plastic balls surprisingly icy to the touch and coming up all the way to just below your chest.
As if the light wasn't enough for him to know your exact location, you couldn't take a step in the pit without making noise. There was no way you could navigate your way through this quietly. So you needed to do something to make him reveal his location, to make him slip and take away the advantage he has right now.
You swipe at the colorful balls at the surface, they bounce off each other like waves and land somewhere a couple feet ahead of you. You scan the pit with your light, eyes focusing hard on the slightest movement, but you get nothing.
You're going to have to do something riskier like provoke him. John was never good at taking criticism, and if you go at him hard then maybe that would be enough to rattle him and reveal himself.
You take a step forward, firmly gripping your gun, "You know, I didn't believe it at first, but the more I think about it the more it makes sense. You don't have many friends at the bureau, and even the ones you do don't like you. Carol always thought you were pathetic loser for never getting past the first date with someone. She was right."
Another step in the pit, another moment of silence.
"Is that why you killed them? Because they didn't give you enough attention?" you spit out the question, another harsh swipe of the plastic toys.
Nothing.
"You couldn't keep a date, so you had to make it everyone's problem? Not man enough to keep a woman by your side, are you?" you taunt him, but it's clearly not enough. You have to hit him somewhere it really hurts.
A few more steps in, you're getting nearer to the halfway point, "And to think you have a son," you scoff, "What is he going to think, John? What will he say when he's old enough to know about all of this and realizes his dad wasn't the hero he claimed to beâjust some dead beat fucking loser?"
You think you hear a heavy exhale, but it was too quick and quiet, you honestly could have imagined it. Or maybe it was your own breathing that seems to get heavier by the minute.
Another scan with your flashlight, another step, "With such a poor excuse of a father and man that you areâno wonder Olivia divorced you."
That right there hit a nerve. Everything after you said that happened fast, like if you had blinked in that moment you would have missed it.
There was a slight rustle, a shift in the ball pit to the right of you. You whip your gun in that direction, the light barley catching his eyes from where he was hidden underneath. That slight glint in them visible from where you stood, was the last thing you saw before you felt your feet being swiped from under you.
You're being pulled down into the pit, hands scrambling to get a steady grip on something to pull you up from drowning. In the midst of being pulled you drop your gun, its location visible to you only by the light on it. You don't have time to panic, you push your way through the pit, swiping furiously to get to your gun. Then you feel John's hand grab your ankle and pull you harshly to drag you towards him. You kick back, but he's able to get you close enough to hook an arm around your waist. You kick and elbow him blindly, your lack of visibility affecting you in this moment.
You know his M.O., he'll be aiming for your neck.
You can't let him get that final grip or it's all over.
If there's one thing you're not about to do, is go down easily. You thrash harshly in his hold, ignoring any strain it causes on your body, only focusing on how it detriments him. You recall the locations of his injuries, and try your best to aim your attacks there, but you miss more than you'd like in the dark.
"You think you know everything don't you?" he grunts, scrambling to get a good grip with his injured hand, "A goody two shoes pretentious know it all, who's really just a good for nothing agent that couldn't tell her killer was sitting right next to her every day," his cold ridicule unfurls an insecurity in you like taking off the bandage on an unhealed wound. "I didn't even have to try that hard to gain your trust. Practically offering it to me on a silver platter just because I was fucking nice to you. You want pathetic? Honey, I'm looking at it," he snarls into your ear, shaking you, and it's enough to get you to lash out at him, your anger fueled. You grab a few balls from the pit, twisting in his hold to shove them in his face. They're plastic, so they won't do much damage, but it's enough to disorient him for a moment.
You use that moment to land a proper punch to his face. Unfortunately, it wasn't with your dominant hand, so it's not as powerful and you'll definitely be feeling it later, but it does the job. He barks out a curse, head thrown back and grip loosening slightly. You don't let him catch his breath, almost instantly after, taking as much force as you can muster to side kick him in his injured knee.
The pain knocks the wind out of him and he cries out, no longer being able to properly hold you. You push him forcibly, scrambling to locate your gun and lunging at it when you do. But he only takes a fraction of what you thought to recover, nails scraping at your shoe while you try to kick him off, throwing waves of the balls around you at him like it were water. He uses his good foot and shoulder to propel himself forward practically pouncing on you. You swipe at his face, but he gets a good grip on your hair, good enough to pull you up with him.
You cry out at the pain and in a matter of seconds, his right arm wraps around your neck, his elbow under your chin. His other hand cradles the back of your head, your entire life in his hands. Your hands shoot up to grab him arm and tug at his jacket, but he gives your neck a light squeeze as a warning for you to behave. You go still.
"You have been a pain in my ass since you started to go off script with this case," he grits in your ear, causing you to shiver. "You weren't supposed to do that, darling. You were always a good girl, followed the rules, did everything by the book before you got transferredâwhat changed?"
You're shaking, both out of ire and fear and he can feel it, his left hand petting your hair in his sick attempt to calm you , "It was never supposed to go down like this. As long as you were kept in the dark you were safe. When Fury connected the cases I thought I could finally pin this on one of those Hydra bastards once and for all now that I would know your every move."
He pulls in his elbow, tightening the grip on your neck for a second to cut off your blood flow. He lets go, laughing sardonicallyâhe's toying with youârelishing the power he holds.
"You know, that Hydra case was supposed to be my big chance at a promotion. The kind that would get my wife to stop bitching about our finances. I worked my ass off for my wife and kid. I stayed back for longer shifts, putting in more hours in the field than any other agent. I did all the shit no one else wanted to, and for what? No matter what I did, it was never good enough." The hollowness in his voice speaks of years of this hatred building up in his heart.
"John, this isn'tâ" he doesn't let you finish, the hand that was cradling the back of your head now being slapped over your mouth. "You got your chance to talk honey, it's my turn."
He shakes his head, "You're all the same. Never appreciating me, never letting me get a word in," he goes off like a mad man, like he's lost itâletting out what's always been within. "Not my wife, handing me divorce papers on my fucking birthday. Not Valentina's pretentious girls who always charge extra for mediocre shit. Not Fury who calls me in at any goddamn hour because I'm so reliable, but can't even give me a pay raise. And not you, sabotaging my plan to connect the cases so that Hydra went down for it all and I'd finally get the promotion I'm owed. But that's okay, I'll use your death to bury the truth. When I tell Fury one of Hydra's lackeys killed you, and I witnessed it all bravely trying to save you, I'll get the recognition I deserve, " He says that last part with a heated hatred for you. For ruining the one and only chance he had to fulfill his purpose. And yet, being the one thing that can save it.
He's seething, you can practically feel the heat of his anger roll off of him in droves into you. His grip around your neck tightens and you let out a strangled gasp. You think this is it, he's finally going to do it. But he either backs out or something else happens, because he doesn't get to hold you long before you're falling forward into the pit.
The balls break your fall somewhat, and you're stumbling to get a grip on what's going on. You register John crying out, a bit of groans, and the sound the plastic clashing from flying everywhere from an obvious struggle. You don't know what's going, but the light coming from your gun gives you something to focus on. You crawl your way to it, feeling relieved to finally have it back in your hands. With shaky footing, you stand up, gun pointed to the struggle, and you could start crying at the sight of your savior.
It's Bucky. The bottom half of his face is covered by a black tactical mask, but you know those eyes anywhere. Neither of them are getting many hits in, but they're also not going completely unscathed either. Bucky seems to be wrangling John in like he's some wild animal losing control, while John scrambles to get rid of whoever is in his way. He might be injured, but he's still putting up a fight.
Their struggle is a blur and you can't get a clear hit to John without getting Bucky caught in it too. Your mind races on what your next move should be when suddenly, something shiny reflects in John's left hand. It's a knife, most likely the one he's used on every single victim and your heart sinks at the sight of it. You know he intends to use it on Bucky, so you have to act fast before it's too late. Thinking on your feet, you shoot a round at the wall that causes them both to stop at the sound. You take that opening to shoot John in his injured shoulder. He wails out a curse before falling backward into the pit. You ease knowing he won't be able to get out of here on his own.
The gunshots still ring in your ears, but you don't care, you're already trudging over to Bucky when John is out of sight. He does the same, rushing over to you like his life depends on it. You practically throw yourself on him in an embrace, and Bucky holds you so tightly you doubt he'll ever let go again.
"I told you not to do this again, doll. You had me thinking the worst," his voice is muffled by the mask, but you can hear the anguish in it. You start tearing up, your entire being finally catching up to what just went down. "I know, I'm sorry. He just appeared out of nowhere and I felt like if I didn't act right away I'd lose him."
The lights in the room turn back on, and you have to blink a few times to adjust to the difference. You both inspect each other at the same time in the light, desperate to find out if the other is okay. Bucky pretty much looks unscathed, but his eyes harden when he notices the redness and swelling on your hand from when you punched John.
"So that piece of shit, he's been the Brooklyn Ripper this whole time?" He says it like he's sorry he missed it. Like if he knew he would've gotten rid of John a long time ago for you.
He knew he never liked the guy for a reason.
"Yeah, he was, and IâŚI mean it'sâit's all over," your energy depletes as the adrenaline starts to wear off. A hint of the pain that's coming your way from exerting yourself in the fight starts to show itself. You fall into his embrace again like it's the only thing you need right now to keep you from falling apart. He can feel the way you sag against him, and it makes him wish he would've gotten here sooner.
Your reunion is sadly cut short when the music is shut off from every room in the funhouse, letting you hear the sound of distant shouting and sirens. You pull away from Bucky, scurrying to push him out of the ball pit. He finds it amusing that you can barely make him budge, even more so when you glare at him.
"Do not fight me on this," you warn him, thinking back to the one thing he wouldn't promise, "This place is about to be filled with federal agents, and I'll be dammed if I lose you to this, James Buchanan Barnes," you whisper his full name so only he can hear it. It should intimidate him, but it doesn't. Instead, it makes his heart jump in his chest like it's trying to escape and run home to you.
"You won't, sweetheart. I'm with you till the end," he declares softly, eyes shimmering with the kind of promise only pure devotion knows the language of. It leaves you speechless, giving him the kind of look he would only dream of before. The thumping of boots quickly approaching gets louder, and he hesitantly makes a swift exit. His parting words sticking with you when Fury, along with a team of agents, make their way inside the room, guns drawn.
You know you must look a sight, disheveled and torn in the middle of a children's ball pit.
"What in the hell is going on?"
From the moment Fury asks this question you act on autopilot. Switching to a more detached version of yourself, the one you were used to dawning on before working on this case. A professional version of yourself that helps get you through the job.
Maria and Fury help you out of the ball pit, back into the room filled with puffs of cotton candy, expecting answers and yet not being prepared for the ones you give them.
You tell them about the stalking, the break in at your apartment, and how the suspect injured himself in the process. How the Brooklyn Ripper challenged you to be here. You tell them how John Walker exposed himself as the killer, and during a fierce struggle, revealed to you a lot of damning things. You start to connect the dots for them. The divorce, the connections between cases, how the evidence lined up, Carol's card, the stalkingâreliving it all was making your head throb. There was still a lot to make sense of, but those are questions John would have to answer for.
John Walker, a man who chose his vices and then punished them for not filling the void inside him. Drowning in his own insecurities and who was now being carried out on a portable stretcher by a team of paramedics. He's lethargic, mumbling incoherences about a monster in a mask.
The Brooklyn Ripper doesn't seem so scary in this light.
"When I asked you to never do anything like this again, I meant it. This is the second time you've disobeyed me," Fury dawns on that disappointed father demeanor again, but this time you're too exhausted to care. "I know, but once there was a suspicion it could be anyone at the FBI, I had to do this alone."
He sighs, crossing his arms, "We'll have to get your story straight later for the report and the higher ups. You did a good job tonight, but if anyone asks, this was my idea." You hum displeased, but you know why he's saying that. He's saving you from getting fired. An insubordinate agent isn't one the bureau would want to keep around, and even Fury has someone he has to report to.
"Yeah, I get it."
Fury gives you a couple orders he's not letting you disobey tonight. He instructs you to go get checked by one of the paramedics, he'll send a member of the crime scene unit to get photographs of all your injuries for evidence, and then you're heading straight home once you're cleared. John's injuries will have him stay overnight at the hospital, and he might not be conscious for an interview until tomorrow. So for now, Fury will stay behind with the crime scene unit and collect as much evidence and witness statements as they can. You have no issue following these orders.
You walk out of the funhouse, every step feeling heavier than the last. You catch Peter's eye and he grins proudly, showing you the bat in his arms all safe and sound. You had almost forgotten about it.
"I kept it safe, just like I said I would." You grab the bat from his hands, feeling a strong urge to hold it close. "Thanks, kid. You keep my card, okay? If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to call." He thanks you in wonder that you'd offer him that.
You don't know how you make it over to one of the ambulances, but eventually you're sitting on the edge of one with an EMT scoping out your injuries and giving you a routine check based on everything you told him happened. Just like Fury said, a crime scene unit member comes over to collect evidence of tonight's events. By the time they're all done taking pictures, swabbing, and prodding at youâyou're at your limit.
You're eventually cleared to go home. You look at the chaos across the field, flashing colored lights from the law enforcement vehicles dance across the faces of the evacuating guests of the carnival, the people recording on their phones for social media, and the local news station reporters. All a symphony of chaos you want to run away from.
And then in the field approaching you is your solace and refuge all in one.
"I want to go home," you whisper, and Bucky reaches his hand out for you to take. "Come on then, let's go home," he says softly while you take his hand, the gentleness in which he holds you is such a contrast to the stories the scars on his hand tell. You run your thumb over them absentmindedly, causing Bucky to glance at you and notice something.
"I'm glad to see the bat made it out okay," he comments to lighten the mood. You look down at it, "The kid managing the line kept it safe for me. I knew things would get rough in there with John, so I had to make sure he was safe. I mean, John even gave you a hard time," you point out and Bucky scoffs like you insulted him, "Sweetheart, make no mistake, that was me going easy on him. I could've killed him for laying a hand on you." You frown, not understanding why Bucky would hold back, putting himself on the line if he could have ended things quicker.
His car is in sight when he notices your confusion, "I went easy on him because if I hadn't there would be a lot of injuries you wouldn't have been able to explain and you would've gotten in trouble. John is only alive for your sake." The sincereness in his tone should frighten you, but it doesn't. Not when you think back to the way John had intended to fatally wound Bucky with the knife. If John had been successful, would you have been able to stop yourself from pulling the trigger?
You'll never know for sure, but your heart knows what you would've done.
Bucky doesn't expect you to say anything, but the way you lean into his side before you reach his car is enough to assure him he didn't scare you off. Things had been easier between you before this case. He was the one who was hard to get close to at first, who had too many shadows of his past haunting him. And yet, you never gave up on him even when he wasn't ready or willing to open up to you. So when the tables turned, he always tried to be the light in the dark you had been for him, and patiently waiting for the moment you would let yourself live again.
He hopes you can find yourselves back to that place now that it's all over.
Bucky opens the passenger door for you, helping you inside and then heading over to the driver's seat. He starts the car in no time, keeping one hand on the steering wheel as he pulls out of the parking lot while the other reaches over to keep your hand in his.
You don't let go.
Bucky's apartment is starting to feel more like home to you than your own. You're staying there tonight, of course. Neither of you had to mention it to know it was happening.
Bucky leads you to his bedroom. You sit on his bed putting the bat beside you on the nightstand. He heads over to his dresser, taking out a pair of sleep shorts and a shirt for you to change into. He puts them next to you on the bed before grabbing a pair of black sweatpants from his dresser and stepping out of the room to give you privacy.
You barely make it past shrugging off your jacket when your starts to protest. It's the only thing you manage to take off when attempting to lift your shirt over your head, burns your skin with an intense ache. Every movement you make suddenly feels like you need double the strength and effort to do, as if you had been hit by a truck.
When Bucky comes back into the room he's half surprised to see you still haven't changed clothes, until he sees the way you wince when turning to face him, and a somber expression overtakes him. He walks over to you, gently brushing your hair out of your face, "Want me to help?"
"Yes."
Bucky gently, and very carefully, helps you out of your clothes, the act intimate in a way only soulmates would know. He softly brushes past parts of your body that are tender and hold signs of how hard you fought before he got there. He swallows hard, looking at the signs like they've stung him.
"Don't do that. Don't blame yourself." It's written all over his face.
"I can't help it. I'll always blame myself for stuff like this." You sit with the weight of that as he finishes helping you get into his clothes. His dog tags dangle from his bare chest when he tucks you into bed.
You grab his wrist before he can leave, "Stay with me."
"Always."
Bucky turns off the lights, joining you on the bed and pulling you into him. You lay your head on his chest, his arms wrapping around you like a safety net. You feel like you can finally breatheâlike you're finally allowed to. And then it all hits you suddenly at once, everything you've been holding back from tonight crashing full force into you.
Bucky can feel the shift in you, the way you start to tremble in his arms before you let out the first sniffle. His hand brushes up to wipe a tear away, whispering your name like an oath in the dark. "It's okay, sweetheart, it's okay. You're safe. I got you, doll. I got you. You can let it out." The soft spoken assurance of his words release the floodgates. Your sniffles turning into sobs as you cry into his chest. He holds you close, rubbing soothing circles onto your back and whispering sweet nothings into your ear that come out as an I love you and I'm here in more ways than one.
Time seems to drag on while all your emotions drain out of you. You don't know how long it takes for you to calm down, but when you finally lift your head from his chest, you feel a familiar longing ache in your chest. You lean into him silently asking for something you've both wanted for a long time. He looks into your eyes as if searching for an answer, and all he finds is a plea that falls between an I love you and I need you.
In the end, you don't know who kisses who first. It's pure and ardent all in oneâlike it could consume you both if you let itâgetting lost in a haze that's all you and him. A kiss that promises the kind of future you've been looking for all you life, but is your salvation for now. Something to tether you to this world and remind you there's still good in it. Nothing outside matter right now except what finally falling into place between you now.
You pull away to catch your breath, snuggling into his chest to listen to the beat of his heartâa beautiful lullaby. He feels you melt into his arms, lowering his head to plant a gentle kiss to your forehead.
"Rest now, you deserve it." he whispers of something far more then just tonight, and it doesn't take long after that for you to fall asleep.
There is no rest for the wicked or those who live to stop it, but tonight, you may rest.
Tomorrow will be a new day.
a/n: I always appreciate any kind of interaction, but I would really love to know your thoughts on this one! đŤśđź Did you guess who are killer was? đ
Thank you all again for reading! âËâšâĄ Likes, comments, and reblogs are much appreciated!! âĄâĄâĄ
lovelies who asked to be tagged: @star-yawnznn @sebastians-love
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summary: roommate!bucky is obsessed with you - based on this Imagine...
tw: fluff, brief alluding to Bucky's past, m!masturbation, mention of porn, use of a sex toy, dirty talk, Bucky wants to get caught?
Roommate!Bucky who didn't mean to fall in love with you. The two of you ending up as roommates purely by happenstance. The chaos of it all drowning out his immediate attraction to you.
Roommate!Bucky who originally planned to keep to his room when you were home, only to find himself basking in your presence whenever he could. Shared meals and home improvement projects and unprompted lessons about all the things he never got to experience.
Roommate!Bucky who somehow got roped into keeping a list of every new song. And movie. And TV show that you introduced him to. Taking the time to actually rate them. Discuss them. Hold a real conversation like he's not some walking relic with a trail of ghosts.
Roommate!Bucky who started doing little things to make your life easier. Wash and refill your water bottle before he went to bed. Made sure there was something easy you could take to work for lunch. Switched your clothes to the dryer when you forgot.
Roommate!Bucky who tried to convince you (and himself) it wasn't a big deal. Simply old habits that survived the modern world. Pitching in on household chores. Volunteering to make dinner after a long day. Actually listening without trying to fix anything.
Roommate!Bucky who did his best not to let his gaze linger too long. Always careful to avert his eyes if you bent over. Or wore a low cut top. Or shorts that showed off your soft thighs.
Roommate!Bucky who pretended it was simply because he was a touch-starved centenarian. And not because he was addicted to you. To your laugh. Your teasing. Your stubbornness over the right way to do something. Even if his suggestion made it easier.
Roommate!Bucky who nearly combusted when you put your feet in his lap after a heated debate, declaring yourself the victor. Toes flexing against his thighs while he used every ounce of his super-soldier strength to will his dick to go down.
Roommate!Bucky who finally ventured out into modern day porn. Hoping it'd overwrite all the fantasies you've been starring in. Only to end up with a long list of sinful things he wants to try with you. The positions he could put you in. The way you might scream his name.
Roommate!Bucky who did his best to compartmentalize. Never let his mind stray when he was with you. Refused to focus on the flickering images his mind tried to conjure: kissing you. Touching you. Bending you over the nearest surface and fucking you with his tongue.
Roommate!Bucky who started taking longer showers to play out all those filthy thoughts. What you might taste like. The sounds you'd make while he licked your clit and fucked you with his fingers. How hot and tight and wet you'd feel. The way you'd grab his hair when you came all over his face.
Roommate!Bucky who eventually got so desperate for you that his hand just wasn't enough anymore. Restless nights of fucking his fist leaving him aching for more. Wanting to imagine your lips stretched around his thick cock, but all he could focus on were the hands that used to carve violence.
Roommate!Bucky who caved one night and spent hours searching for a sex toy that didn't make him itch with second thoughts. Finally deciding on something small enough to hide, but realistic enough to live out his fantasies. Convinced he'd spend the rest of his life like this. Fucking a silicone pussy, imagining it's you.
Roommate!Bucky who was supposed to be home when the package arrived, only to have you intercept it. Mistake it for yours. Open it and accidentally discover his dirty little secret.
Roommate!Bucky who appreciates that you at least tried to cover your tracks. Put everything back in its place. Set the taped box on the kitchen counter. Acted completely nonchalant.
Roommate!Bucky who's so obsessed with you that he instantly recognizes your scent lingering on the inside container - an image of the fake pussy plastered across the side. Leaving absolutely no doubt that you know exactly what he's doing right now.
Roommate!Bucky who should stuff everything away, shove all the evidence under his bed, and return to the living room. Maybe make dinner. But now he's harder than he's ever been in his entire life, and he can't stop picturing you finding it. Holding it. The look on your face. Plush lips parted. Gorgeous eyes widened in shock.
Roommate!Bucky who should feel ashamed for the way his cock twitches at the thought. Instead, he just lets the image shift, imagining you on your knees, same surprised look when you see him for the first time. Cock heavy in his hand, fist stroking it slowly.
Roommate!Bucky who doesn't even remember pushing his pants and underwear down, dick slick with pre-cum. Flesh and vibranium tearing apart the packaging, hastily preparing the toy before he's diving in. Knees hitting carpet, silicone perched at the edge of the bed, a stolen shirt of yours tucked around it, his fingers spreading the pussy-flavored lube like he's working you open.
Roommate!Bucky who watches the way the toy yields for him. Lets himself get lost in the fantasy. "So wet for me, sweetheart," he whispers, still currently terrified that you'll hear him. "Want me to taste you?" Tongue peeking out to trace along the puffy pussy, the scent of you making this feel almost too real.
Roommate!Bucky who has to grip the base of his dick to keep himself from coming. Tongue lapping at your folds, gathering your sweetness, drinking you down while his fingers keep you spread. Forearm resting on top of the toy to make it mimic your movements, hips following his hungry mouth.
Roommate!Bucky who will never admit to researching how to eat you out. Technically, how to eat pussy, but given the effort he put into learning all about it, he's sure he could have you shaking apart in no time. Lips suctioning around your clit, tongue finding the perfect rhythm, while his fingers curl inside of you. Stroking that spot until you're gripping his hair and riding his face.
Roommate!Bucky who barely registers the obscene noises filling the room. His unabashed groans, mouth slurping against silicone, lube and spit dripping down to soak your shirt. The repetitive squelch punctuating measured strokes along your silky walls. Swearing he can feel you tightening, his own hips humping the air in search of relief from the delicious torment.
Roommate!Bucky who growls your name, louder than he means to, nose pressed against the wet toy, breath sawing through clenched teeth, fingers leaving you to wrap around his painful cock. Heavy and swollen, a steady flow of pre-cum leaking from the tip, easing the desperate strokes.
Roommate!Bucky who should be quieter. Panting against your pretty pussy, lost in the fantasy. "Taste so fucking good, baby." A swipe of his tongue over your clit while he pumps his cock faster. "Can't wait until you - shit - until you ride my face." Back bowing from the overwhelming pleasure licking up his spine. "Gonna - oh my god - gonna smother me with that- that sweet pussy, doll? Gonna-."
Roommate!Bucky who's on the verge of coming when he hears you. Footsteps outside his unlocked door. Gentle raps against wood that has ice rushing through his veins. And his cock twitching in his grip. The soft "Bucky?" drifting through the barrier making him groan pathetically.
Roommate!Bucky who should be scrambling. Panicking. Destroying all evidence of what just transpired. But he's stuck. Heart hammering in his chest. Blood roaring through his veins, keeping him rock-hard. Only a couple deafening seconds passing until you're breaking the silence.
Roommate!Bucky who swears his heart almost leaves his chest when you confidently announce, "I'm comin' in, okay?" Voice thick with something he's too far gone to decipher.
Roommate!Bucky who doesn't tell you no. Doesn't tell you yes either. Lets you decide if you wanna be a witness to the most debauched moment of his entire life. Utterly and entirely consumed by you. And he swears to god, if you open that door, he's done feeling guilty about it.
(banners by @cafekitsune)
Hmm, I might just have to write more of these two...
HOT đĽľđ¤
No Signal, No Control
Summary: What starts as playful teasing stretches across weeks of silence, tension, and unanswered messagesâŚuntil Jake finally sees exactly what youâve been leaving for him. When he gets back and has you within reach again, heâs not letting go.
Character/Pairing: Jake âHangmanâ Seresin (Top Gun: Maverick) x Reader
Warnings: Strong language. Mutual pining / unresolved tension. Sexting/Suggestive photos. Explicit sexual content (Praise, Masturbation, Oral-Male Receiving), some very mild humiliation due to something that happens to Jake that Iâm not going to spoil.
Word Count: 6,494
Authorâs Note: So this fic is the brain child of a conversation I had with a friend of mine and it kind of spiraled from what I thought would be like 1-2k words and here we are at 6500. So thank you to the person who gave me inspiration (you know who you are). Hope you all enjoy xx
The hangar was all noise and movement, yet you found a quiet corner, tucked behind the hulking belly of a Super Hornet, where the smell of jet fuel clung to your hair and the concrete vibrated with the promise of takeoffs in the morning.
You shifted your weight from foot to foot, boots squeaking as you pretended you were here for any reason except the obvious one: to see him before he left.
Jake was already waiting. He leaned back against a tool chest, arms crossed, sleeves rolled to the elbow in a way that did violent things to your self control. He caught your eye and, as always, grinned like he could see straight through your careful composure.
âWas starting to think youâd ghosted me, honey,â he said, voice pitched low enough that it didnât echo.
âYouâre not even wheels-up yet, and already Iâm the tragic ex,â you shot back.Â
He grinned wider like he was proud of you for keeping pace with him. He shoved off the chest and strolled over to you, dog tags glinting against his black shirt. You waited until he was close enough to crowd your space, just shy of touching, before you let yourself look up and meet his gaze. He always did this: moved right into your gravity, and waited to see what youâd do.
âTell me youâre not gonna miss this,â he said.Â
He had a way of drawing out the syllables, sweet and slow, and it wasnât clear if he meant the flying or the flirting.Â
You snorted. âIâve been meaning to tell you, Iâve got a whole backup squadron on speed dial while you guys are gone.
âYeah?â He murmured, stepping in that last inch. âBet they wonât match my stamina.â
You matched him, unblinking. âYouâre right, most people need a break eventually.â
He let out a quiet, disbelieving breath, and you could see how much effort it cost him not to laugh out loud. The other pilots and crew passed by without looking, either too used to you and Jake or wise enough to pretend ignorance. It didnât matter. In this little world, Jake was the sun and you were the planet that pretended not to orbit him.
âYou sure you donât want to give me a proper sendoff?â He murmured, leaning in closer, voice low enough it brushed over your mouth.
You pretended to consider, weighing the pros and cons with mock gravity, like the fate of the entire Western seaboard depended on whether or not you caved.
âNot sure you can handle a real goodbye.â
 âOh, I love it when you try to scare me,â he said, grin feral now, and before you could blink he had closed the half-inch gap, mouth landing on yours
The first kiss was a test. Quick. Calculated. But Jake had never been the type to settle for standard issue. The second kiss lingered, blooming out at the corners, his hands anchoring you.
Your fingers curled into his shirt and he made a quiet sound against your mouthâsomething rougher than he probably meant to let outâand pulled you closer like heâd almost forgotten where you ended and he started.
When you pulled back, it was barely an inch.
âThatâs it?â y=You murmured, breath uneven. âI expected something moreâŚlegendary.â
He stared at you for half a second like he was deciding something. Then he kissed you again. Harder this time. Less patience. Less restraint. Your back bumped lightly against the side of the jet and you laughed against his mouth, but it dissolved into something softer when his hand slid up your side, anchoring you there.
âLegendaryâs for when I get back,â he muttered against your lips. âThis is justââ
You kissed him again before he could finish. Because apparently thatâs what this was now. Interrupting each other with mouths instead of words.
âGod, youâre the worst,â you breathed when you managed to pull back.
âYeah,â he said, already leaning in again, like he couldnât help it, âbut you keep coming back.â
Your hands slid up into his hair and that got him. You felt it in the way he went still for half a second, then moved, pressing closer, like he needed more of you, like he wasnât getting enough.
Somewhere behind you, someone called his name. Neither of you reacted.
âYouâre gonna be late,â you murmured, lips brushing his.
âYeah,â he said, not pulling away.
Your forehead rested against his, both of you breathing the same air now, a little unsteady, a little too close to something neither of you were naming.
âYou gonna be waiting for me when I get back?â He asked, quieter now.
You rolled your eyes, but your fingers didnât leave his hair. âIâll pencil you in.â
âTry not to forget about me,â he said.
âNot a chance.â
He stepped back after the Admiral called his name for a second time. He his hands dragging off you slow, like he didnât quite want to let go.
You watched him walk away with that cocky strut. The kind of man who knew youâd be watching and made it look effortless. And you did watch, until he turned the corner and vanished.
* * * * * * * *
You spent the rest of the day in your own orbit, drifting from room to room with no purpose beyond the vague intention of not thinking about Jake Seresin. Which naturally, meant you thought about him constantly: the way his hands bracketed your hips, the electric edge in his voice when he teased you, the warmth lingering in your bones after that last, almost chaste goodbye.
You made it exactly three hours before you gave in to temptation. You scrolled through your camera roll, ignoring the too obvious thirst traps and instead landing on a selfie youâd taken by accident, hair still damp from a shower, face clean and soft and almost bashful. Jakeâs t-shirt was loose on your shoulders, the You looked, against all odds, sweet.
You attached it to a message, thumbs hovering as you considered the first volley.
You left this.
You stared at the screen for a long moment, then added:
Think it suits me better.
You sent it and immediately set your phone face-down on the kitchen table, pretending you could resist the urge to check it every thirty seconds. The house was silent except for the hum of the fridge and the hollow echo of your own nervous laughter.Â
Why did it matter so much if he saw? Why did you care about his reaction? Probably because you knew, with sickening certainty, that heâd see it and respond in kind. This was how it always went: you baited, he bit, then you spent the rest of the day untangling the consequences.
Except minutes passed. Then hours. You made lunch, washed a few dishes, and checked your phone, only to see the same unbroken silence. You tried to act unbothered. You tried to imagine him laughing in a plane somewhere, already plotting his next move. But each time you checked, there was nothing but your own face, caught mid-smile in his damn shirt.
By dusk, you were stretched on the couch, blanket knotted around your legs, phone balanced on your chest as if proximity would manifest a reply. You took another photo, this one more deliberate: hair in a messy bun, eyes half lidded, the hem of his shirt just covering your underwear.
Still nothing.
You considered sending a follow-up, something like wow, tough crowd or too busy saving democracy to answer? But you didnât want to look desperate. Instead, you just stared at the first message, rereading it until the words lost their meaning and all you saw was the hint of a smile in your own reflection.
You wondered how long you could keep this up before you cracked. Probably not long.
It started as a game. You werenât even sure you wanted a reply at this point; you just needed the power of knowing you could provoke him. So, when the next morning arrived and your phone screen remained stubbornly blank, you leveled up.
The second selfie took planning. You waited for the daylight to spill across your sheets, found the good light, dug his navy blue button down from your laundry basket and shrugged it on, barely bothering with the buttons. You stretched across the bed, his bed if you were honest, since it still smelled like him, and aimed the camera so it caught just enough skin and just enough sleep tousled innocence. You made sure the hem of the shirt only barely covered the soft part of your thighs. You took half a dozen, deleted most, and kept the one where you looked like youâd just been kissed awake.
You didnât caption it. You just sent it, then immediately buried your face in the pillow, laughing into the fabric. If you couldâve been a fly on the wall in whatever base Jake was in, you wouldâve paid money to see his face.
Hours passed. The only notification that lit up your phone was from your mother, asking about your plans for your sisterâs wedding next month. You thumbed a reply ânot sure yet!â, then toggled back to the chat with Jake, where your two photos sat like open dares.
You told yourself heâd seen them. That he was probably planning some elaborate comeback, maybe getting the perfect revenge selfie, or waiting to ambush you with a FaceTime call. But by mid afternoon, your nerves started to hum. The silence stretched. You thought about sending a follow up: ignore me all you want, youâre still not getting your shirt back. Instead, you went for a run, then came back and paced the apartment for half an hour, more restless than before.
The third escalation came about a week later, and it wasnât an accident. You dressed for it: makeup done, hair brushed and glossed and sprayed to a shine, lips a dark cherry red that you knew drove him crazy. The lingerie wasnât technically yours (stolen from a roommateâs bachelorette party stash, tags still attached), but it looked like it had been designed with Jakeâs hands in mind: all emerald mesh and sinuous cutouts and barely-there lace. You paired it with a pair of pointy black heels and nothing else. You posed in the mirror for a while, finding the right angle. When you finally took the shot, it was deliberate. A long, slow glance over your shoulder.
This time, you almost didnât send it. It felt dangerous, more revealing than any truth youâd ever confessed aloud to him. The truth of how obsessed you really were with him. Your thumb hovered over the send button, heart hammering, until you couldnât take the tension anymore. You hit send, then tossed the phone away as if it were a live grenade.
The silence after was worse than before. The world went quiet, the hours stretching until evening blurred into night. You stalked around the apartment, restless and a little bit frantic, replaying your own boldness and the echoing lack of reaction on the other end. Maybe youâd overplayed. Maybe it was too much, and youâd scared him off.
You poured a glass of wine, downed it, then poured another. By midnight, you were loose limbed and melancholy, curled on the floor in a tangle of discarded blankets and half done laundry. You wanted him to answer. You wanted him to say anything.
The fourth photo the following week was almost an afterthought. You went to bed wearing nothing but his dog tags that were laying on his dresser, the cold metal a physical reminder that he was still real, still somewhere under the same sky just an ocean away. You took a selfie, bare shoulders and the tags nestled against your sternum, the rest of you artfully out of frame. You sent it without a caption, then immediately regretted it and nearly deleted it. But you didnât.
This time, you stared at the phone until your eyes burned. Still nothing. Not a word, not a heart react, not even the three dot ellipsis to suggest he was typing a reply.
You caved. You typed out:
Wow, tough crowd.
You deleted it, then wrote:
Hope youâre not dead, would be super embarrassing for me if you are.
Deleted that too, settled on:
If youâre trying to play hard to get, youâre failing spectacularly.
That one, you sent. It was as close to defeat as youâd ever admit.
You lay back on the bed, phone balanced on your chest, the silence pressing down like a weighted blanket. You should have felt victorious, or at least smug. Instead, all you felt was empty. And tired. And a little bit exposed, like youâd stripped down more than just your clothes for him.
You closed your eyes and let yourself imagine him seeing it: the curve of your smile in his shirt, your hair spread across his sheets, the black lace and the bare skin, the dog tags cool against your collarbone. You pictured him cursing under his breath, maybe fighting a smile, maybe missing you as much as you missed him.
Maybe.
You fell asleep like that, clutching your phone, waiting for the next move.
* * * * * * * *
Jakeâs P.O.V.
The first thing Jake did when he got word that they were headed home after four long weeks was ask for his goddamn phone. His home screen immediately detonated with alerts as he turned his phone on. Sixty-seven notifications from the squadâs group chat. Eleven missed calls from his mother. One photo from Coyote with his middle finger raised as he stood next to the dart board at the Hard Deck with a perfect bullseye and captioned it, âEast shit, Hangman.âÂ
Then there were the messages from you. Four unread messages waiting for him.
He felt the grin before he could stop it. He opened the first once, bracing for a joke or maybe a long text that was you rambling about your day. What he got instead was a photo. At first glance it was innocent. You in his t-shirt, hair a mess, eyes soft, and a little sleepy. But he saw the way you clutched the hem to pull it up just a little, the way your lips curled into the ghost of a dare.
He bit back a laugh and opened the next one, already knowing you were trying to get a rise out of him. And you succeeded. The second photo was you sprawled across his sheet, his button down open and hanging off your shoulders, skin luminous in the morning light.
His mouth went dry. He glanced over his shoulder, making sure no one was looking and zoomed in to catch the faint outline of your nipples poking out beneath the thin fabric. God, you were shameless. And God, he loved you for it.
He scrolled down to the next one, half expecting you to chicken out and send a meme or a dumb TikTok video. Instead the third picture was you in lingerie. His favorite color, emerald green. Sheer and cut to reveal and conceal all at once. Black heels and red lips to round out the look. The pose was almost cruel. You looked like youâd been sculpted straight out of his dreams, made just for him.
He felt it then, a low pulse behind his ribs, the beginning of a burn that would only get hotter the longer he stared. His jaw set hard. He should have put the phone away. He should have walked it off or done literally anything but keep scrolling.
The fourth image was the coup de grâce. You wore nothing but his dog tags, pressed against your bare skin, hair wild and uncombed on his pillow, the most beautiful eyes heâd ever seen staring at him through the camera. The tags rested just above your breasts, and you had managed to crop out anything that would make it totally indecent, but left enough to drive him crazy and let his imagination run wild.
Jakeâs heartbeat pounded in his ears, heat pooling in places he didnât dare acknowledge while still in uniform. He wanted to see you, to touch you, to tell you that you were his in every way a person could be.
He scrolled back and forth, unable to pick a favorite. He stared at the one with the dog tags the longest, though. The possessiveness it sparked in him was primal and a little bit terrifying. Youâd worn those like a claim, like you were telling him that you were his.
He cleared his throat, and the guys around him glanced over. He pretended to check the weather app, and wiped a hand down his face to try and regain his composure. It didnât work. Every photo replayed itself in his head, like a loop.
He typed a response. Then deleted it. Typed another. Deleted that too. There was nothing he could say that would match what youâd given him.
By the time Jake boarded the flight, he was running on nothing but adrenaline and the slow burning ache that settled in his gut every time he thought about you. The vinyl of the airport seat pressed against his thighs. His only comfort was the warmth of his phone in his hand. He held it like a talisman, thumb bruising the glass as he scrolled back through her messages until he was half-certain heâd hallucinated them.
But they were real. Every pixel, every perfect angle, every impossible detail. He flipped obsessively between the last two photos: the green mesh that clung to you like a secret and the way his dog tags hung against your skin, making you look claimed and claimed again. He couldnât pick a favorite. He didnât want to. He wanted it all at once: you in his bed, you in his shirt, you waiting for him, smiling like you knew you were driving him insane.
The plane was full. Jake had an aisle seat. Which meant no privacy. Nothing to hide the way his pulse hammered or the way his hands wouldnât stop fidgeting. He closed his eyes, tried to sleep, but it was useless. All he saw was you: arched and perfect, mouth parted, eyes dark and bottomless. He imagined the sound youâd make if he pressed you into the mattress, the way youâd taste, the shiver that would run through you when he finally closed the distance.
He lasted an hour.
Then he got up, stumbled down the aisle like a man possessed, ignored the pitying look from the flight attendant, and barricaded himself in the cramped lavatory. He braced both hands on the sink, breathing through his nose, trying to calm the riot in his chest. But he was already hard, already desperate, already picturing you with so much clarity it made him sweat.
He pulled his phone out of his pocket so hard he nearly dropped it in the sink. The screen glared up at him. He scrolled back to the dog tags photo. Your bare shoulders. Your hair a mess on his pillow. His dog tags resting against your breasts. He zoomed in until the image blurred, then zoomed back out.
SERESIN, JACOBU. S. NAVY 92823652207.27.1988 . O POS
His name. You in nothing but his name. Like you were letting him claim you. He unlocked his belt with ease. The hiss of the zipper sounded loud as a gunshot in the tiny stall. Then he slipped his hand inside the waistband of his boxer briefs and found himself already hard and leaking, the ache so fierce it bordered on pain.
He started slow. Just the lightest pressure. Just enough to tease his tip. He closed his eyes and let the sound of your voice fill his head. The way you sounded when you moaned his name the night before he left. He thought of you in his shirt, his bed, and in nothing at all. He pictured you lying on your stomach, face buried in his pillow, the curve of your ass illuminated by the ceiling fan overhead. He imagined the things heâd do to you. Then the things heâd let you do to him. Every filthy promise heâd ever whispered into your ear.
He got bolder and faster with his movements. The sounds in the enclosed space got louder. The sound of his breathing getting louder and uneven. The wetness as he spread spit and the precum leaking from his tip and used it to stroke himself as lubricant with his hand.
He bent forward, forehead pressed against the wall and bit down on the meaty part of his lip to keep from making a sound.
He was a goddamn animal, especially when it came to you. He let the fantasies continue to run wild in his head. He let himself imagine your mouth, your hands, the way youâd look at him when you sucked him off.
He let himself imagine calling you right now, your sweet voice on the other line answering, thick with sleep since itâs the middle of the night where you are. Heâd ask you to help him through it. Heâd ask you what you were wearing, and in his mind youâd tell him nothing. That you were wearing nothing as you waited for him to come home. He pictured talking you through everything he wanted to do, slowly and in detail, until you both came apart.Â
The rush when he came was almost blinding. He barely got it angled towards the toilet before white sticky cum was splattering against the inside of the toilet, biting down harder on his lip to keep from making any noise as he pictured coming in you instead.
He cleaned himself up with the ridiculously tiny paper towels that were provided. He splashed some water on his face, wiped the sweat from his forehead, and then stared at his own reflection. His cheeks were flushed, and hair was sticking to his forehead. He looked like a man whoâd just broke. Which, in a way, he had. He tried to smooth it over. He straightened his shirt and combed his hair with his fingers.Â
But the feeling heâd been fighting since first seeing those pictures only got worse. The hunger was still there. Gnawing at him. He realized that he could jerk off a hundred times on this plane and it wouldnât touch the depth of his craving. It was you or nothing. Like an addict and you were his drug of choice.
He took a few more moments to collect himself. He leaned his head against the wall and let his head tilt back. He scrolled through the photos one more time. He wanted to call you. He wanted to hear your voice. To tell you what heâd done, and confess that heâd lost your little game before it had even started. His thumb hovered over the call button but then he remembered he was thirty thousand feet in the air and it was damn near four in the morning. He wasnât going to bother you. Heâd seen you tomorrow when he landed in San Diego.
He slid his phone back into his pocket and braced himself before unlocking the door. He half expected the flight attendant to be waiting with judgement painted on her face. But she was gone. He made his way back, careful this time, and collapsed into his seat.
He tilted his head again the cabin wall, and replayed it all again. How youâd taste when he buried his face between your thighs. How youâd sound as you made those perfect little sounds he loves. How heâd mark you with his hands and mouth, whispering that you were his.
When the plane touched down, Jake didnât wait for the seatbelt sign to go off. He grabbed his bag, elbowed his way to the front, and texted you before he even hit the terminal.
* * * * * * * *
The bar was packed. It was a Friday night and the weather was beautiful. Youâd gotten there early and would probably end up staying late so that Penny didnât get completely drowned at the bar.
You saw him before you heard him: a ripple in the crowd, heads turning, a laugh that started at the door and worked its way through the air like the promise of a fight. He was in uniform, flight suit zipped to the sternum and sleeves rolled, dog tags glinting at his neck, as if heâd just dropped from the sky to fuck up your equilibrium on purpose.
He locked eyes with you, and that was it. He started moving straight through the noise, the press of bodies, the haze of spilled beer and neon. He looked like a man with a single purpose, and you were that purpose.
You barely had time to prepare before he was there, knuckles brushing your wrist, voice low so no one else could hear.
âCâmere.â
He led you down the hallway, through a door marked STAFF ONLY, and into the cramped fluorescent lit storage room. It smelled like bleach and limes and the wet rubber of bar mats. Shelves ran floor to ceiling, overloaded with boxes of vodka and sleeves of plastic cups and rows of dusty liquor bottles that never made it to the menu. There was nowhere to stand that wasnât in someone elseâs way, so Jake just crowded you up against the shelf against the back wall, his palm braced on the shelf above your head.
For a long second he just stood there, breathing hard, the thud of his pulse visible in the line of his throat. You felt it in your own body, the echo of it, like you were already tethered together by something invisible.
He looked you over, up and down, then tilted his head and grinned.
âGot your texts.â
You tried to smirk. It came out shaky, but you didnât care. âWasnât sure you liked them since I never got a response.
âDidnât have cell access until last night.â
He moved his hand from the wall to your hip. You could feel the heat of him even through your jeans, the pressure of his thumb digging in.Â
He leaned in, lips grazing the edge of your ear. âLooked real pretty for me in those pictures, darlinâ.â
He edged even closer, now fully pressing you back against the shelf. The metal frame dug into your spine. Every inch of him was a dare. You could see his eyes now: dark, hungry, pupils blown wide.
You reached out, traced a line down his chest, stopped at the zipper of his flight suit.
âMiss me?â You said, keeping your voice light.
You watched the way he studied your mouth, felt the way his hands bracketed your hips like he was holding himself back from breaking you in half.
âSay it,â you whispered, not sure if you meant for him to say he missed you, or to say he needed you, or just to say anything at all.
He did.
âIâve been thinking about you every goddamn minute,â he said. Each word ground out like it hurt him to admit it. âDidnât even make it through customs before I was checking my phone.â
You suddenly couldnât breathe.
âAnd then you sent those photos,â he continued, voice so low it made you shiver. âJesus, baby, I couldnât even look at âem withoutââ He cut himself off, teeth bared in a crooked grin. âDoesnât matter.â
You felt reckless. You wanted to see him lose control. You moved your hand from his zipper to his dog tags, wrapping your fingers around the cold chain, tugging just enough to make him lean in.
âIt matters to me,â you said. âWhatâd you do when you saw those pictures, Jake?â
He kissed you. Hard and bruising, the kind of kiss that left you gasping for air and clawing at him. You kissed back, all teeth and tongue and desperation. You pressed into him, feeling the hard line of his body against yours, the wild, unstoppable need radiating off him in waves.
âFuck,â he said again, softer this time. âIâm gonna make a mess of you.â
You held the dog tags tighter, letting the edge of the metal dig into your palm. He slid both hands under your shirt, tracing your ribs with his thumbs. His hands moved from your waist to your ass, lifting you effortlessly onto the lowest shelf. You wrapped your legs around his hips, pulling him in until there was nothing left between you but the thin, desperate press of your clothes.
He rocked against you, slow at first, just enough to let you feel what youâd done to him. You grinned, triumphant.
âMissed me that much, huh?â You whispered.
His answer was to suck a bruise onto your neck, grinding against you until you gasped. The sound made him go tense, hands clenching tight. You could feel how close he was to snapping. You wanted him to. You whispered his name, and watched as every ounce of bravado dropped away.Â
He was just Jake now, shaking and hungry and yours.
âYeah,â he finally said, barely audible. âI missed you. Been like this since the plane.â
He buried his face in your neck, teeth scraping the spot just below your ear.Â
âFuck. I didnât wanna do it like this. Wanted to take my time with you when I got back,â he admitted, and you could hear the apology woven in, all the control he was burning just to keep from wrecking you completely.
You ran your hands down his back, over the ridges of his spine, the taut muscle flexing under your touch. He shuddered, then pressed you even harder against the wall. You rocked together, bodies moving in sync, both of you gasping for air that never seemed to come.
The tension was electric, dangerous. You could feel it in your chest, your stomach, everywhere. You wanted to push him until he broke.
So you did.
You reached between you, palming the outline of his cock, squeezing just enough to make him choke on his next breath. He jerked, then bucked his hips, desperate.
You grinned. âCâmon, Jake. Show me.â
His answer was a curse, then a kiss, then another curse, more desperate this time. He grabbed your wrist, pinned it above your head, and ground into you with a force that left you seeing stars.
His whole body went tense, like a bowstring drawn too tight. You felt the shift before you heard it, the way his breathing stuttered, the way he suddenly froze, mouth open against your shoulder. He tried to cover it up with a groan, but you knew.
His whole body shivered, and then sudden, violent, and humiliatingly fastâŚhe came. Right there, pressed up against you, flight suit still zipped, the thick heat of it soaking through the fabric, maybe even onto your jeans. It was so immediate, so raw, that for a second neither of you could process it.
He went slack, head dropping to your shoulder, breath coming in short, uneven bursts. You waited, counting the seconds until the shame or the panic or the jokes set in.
Instead, he started laughing. It was a wrecked sound, equal parts mortified and triumphant. He buried his face in your neck, still shaking, then looked up at you with eyes so dark they were almost black.
You kissed him again, softer this time, letting the heat cool just enough to remind you both that you were still here, still real, still tangled together in this impossible thing.
He tried to rally, pulling himself upright, hands fisting at the zipper of his suit as if he could tug the moment closed. But you stepped into his space, crowding him the way heâd crowded you, and slipped your fingers beneath the open V at his throat.
âMissed me that much, huh?â You murmured.
He looked away, bashful, almost, if you didnât know him better. Then, with a half swallowed laugh, âYouâre gonna hold that over me, arenât you?â
You grinned, leaning in until your lips brushed his ear. âI donât know. It was kinda hot.â
He made a strangled noise, half-laugh, half-sigh, and let his head thunk gently back against the door.
You pressed your palm to his sternum, stopping him mid-sentence, and let your hand drift down. Over his chest, past the zipper, to where the bulk of him still strained, damp and sticky, inside the suit. You cupped him through the fabric, feeling the shudder that rippled through his whole body.
He caught your wrist, but didnât push you away. Just watched, eyes fixed on your mouth, as you unzipped him all the way.
âJesus,â he whispered, and you liked the way it sounded.
You worked the suit off his hips, tugging the waistband of his boxers down enough to expose his cock, flushed and slick at the tip. He was still hard, impossibly, and the sight made your mouth go dry.
âWhat are you doing?â He asked, voice wrecked but teasing.
You shook your head. âGonna clean you up.â
He groaned, low and helpless, and let you push him back until his shoulders hit the cold metal. You knelt and wrapped your lips around him, tongue swirling over the mess heâd left on himself. The salt and heat, the faint bitter edge, was perfect.
He hissed your name, one hand burying itself in your hair, the other fisting against the shelf at his side. You took him deep, letting your tongue tease the sensitive underside, then pulled back just enough to lick the tip, collecting every drop. He shuddered, hips stuttering forward like he couldnât help himself.
You looked up, locking eyes, and watched him come apart. The tremor in his legs gave him away. He whispered something. Maybe âfuck.â Maybe your name. Maybe both.Â
Then he added, low and sultry, âSuch a good girl for me,â and it sent a rush of heat through you, making you clench your thighs together.
He sagged against the door, head thrown back, throat working on a silent groan that never quite made it out. For a moment, you just watched the flush rise up his neck, the wildness in his breath, the way his fingers shook as they traced idle, senseless patterns across your scalp. He looked like a mess. You liked him this way. You wanted to keep him this way.
You kissed just beneath the head, lips wet, tongue flicking the slit, and he made a broken, please sounding noise that was all the permission you needed. You gave him no mercy, hands gentle but insistent, stroking him through the aftershocks even as he tried to twist away from the intensity. He was sensitive and raw, but he never told you to stop. He just gasped and cursed and held on, greedy for every touch.
He looked at you dazed, and you thought for a heartbeat that he might start to laugh again, but instead his jaw clenched and he shook his head in disbelief.Â
âYouâŚyouâre gonna kill me,â he managed, voice ragged.
âLucky for you, Iâm CPR certified,â you said, and then sucked him down again just to hear him choke on his own laugh.
You slowed, dragging out the sensation, wanting to see how much he could take before he broke for real. His thighs trembled, toes flexing hard against the concrete. You could feel how badly he wanted to let go, how close he was to falling apart, and you loved him more for holding on, for trying to last just a little longer.
You brought him right to the edge and then backed off, your mouth soft, hands softer, until you felt him start to plead with you, not in words but in the desperate arch of his hips, the whimper buried deep in his chest, the way heâd wound both hands into your hair as if anchoring himself to you.
Then, he was coming again, hot and frantic, spilling into your mouth like heâd been saving it all for you. You swallowed, not breaking eye contact, drinking in the moment, the praise, the raw need radiating between you.
He collapsed, panting, the sweat on his chest catching the stuttering light overhead. You dragged your mouth up his length, slow and deliberate, leaving a slick trail behind. You nipped gently at the inside of his thigh, and he whimpered, more from overload than pain. You liked that, too.
You knelt there and waited until he looked at you, eyes heavy-lidded, mouth slack with disbelief. You wiped your lips with the back of your hand and grinned.
âGood?â
He nodded, unable to speak, and slid down the door until he was half-sitting, half sprawled, legs open and inviting. You liked how ruined he looked: flight suit bunched up, boxers tangled at his knees, dog tags glinting against the sweat-slick hollow of his sternum.
You crawled up into his lap and straddled him, knees braced on either side, hands planted beside his head. You felt his heart beating through his skin, wild and animal, and for a second, you wondered if yours was just as frantic.
He looked at you with something like awe, or maybe terror. You kissed him, slow and deep and salty. He kissed you back, hand cradling the side of your face.
As much as you wanted to, you knew the two of you couldnât stay in the closet forever. You climbed off his lap, watching him as he straightened himself out. He tugged his flight suit back into place, but the evidence of your time together was still glaringly apparent. A smirk played on your lips as you took in the sight of him, looking both disheveled and utterly wrecked.
âReady?â You asked, stepping back and searching his eyes for a hint of mischief.Â
He nodded, though you could see the lingering hunger in his gaze.
With a deep breath, he pushed open the door, stepping out into the dimly lit bar. You followed, stepping lightly, your heart pounding with a mix of exhilaration and anticipation.
No sooner had you crossed the threshold than someone from the bar called out, a hint of confusion in their voice.
âHey Seresin, whyâs the front of your flight suit wet?â
Jake turned, a wicked grin spreading across his face.Â
âItâs from your sisterâs pussy. Fuck off,â he shot back, the playful bravado returning as he leaned against the bar, arms crossed, looking every bit the confident aviator you adored.
You stifled a laugh, warmth flooding through you as you watched the exchange. A small, knowing smile crept onto your face, a secret shared only between the two of you. You took your place behind the bar, pouring yourself a drink, reveling in the aftermath of the chaos and the undeniable chemistry that still crackled in the air.
As Jake leaned back, still bantering with friends, you couldnât help but feel a sense of satisfaction. No matter where the night took you, you knew one thing for sure: this was just the beginning.
-
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"he's my husband!" I say with absolute seriousness (he's a fictional character)
Lost And Found
Summary : Despite how much he irritates you, when Jake loses his fatherâs watch, you go to the moon and back to bring it back to him.
Pairing : Jake âHangmanâ Seresin x Fem!Reader
Important info : Your call sign is Lightning âĄď¸ :)
Disclaimer : English is not my first language so sorry for any grammatical errors that might have escaped my proofreading !đ
Word count : 5.5k
âââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
âLightning watch out !â
You barely had time to register that Javy was screaming your call sign before a ball came crushing down next to you, sending sand flying everywhere on your opened book and sticky, lathered in sunscreen, skin.
Beautiful colors of pink and violet were painting the sky, the sun beginning his descent towards the western aerosphere. It had shined brightly throughout the entirety of the squadâs monthly beach day, bathing your skin in warmth and golden light.
âFor fuckâs sake, Javy ! You guys can shoot down a target from two hundred feet while flying at Mach one but you canât aim a volleyball for shit !â You snapped, dusting the thousands of grains of sands from your book and towel.
Next to you Natasha was hiding a laugh behind her own book.
Pointing a finger at her, you warned, âdonât you dare laugh at me, Nat.â You got up to brush off more sand off your legs, âthatâs why I hate going to the beach with them, thereâs nothing less relaxing on this earth,â you mumbled out, a frown making the lines on your forehead prominent.
âMy bad, Lightning !â Jake called out, his hands around his mouth to amplify the sound, though his tone was very much not apologetic, and the smirk stretching his lips only fueled the irritation simmering under your skin.
Glaring at him, you debated for a second on yelling back a piece of your mind, indulge into this game he seemed to initiate anytime he could. Riling you up, provoking you and then simply grinning like an idiot when you eventually ended up taking the bait.
But for once, you decided to be the bigger person. So you settled on raising your middle finger high enough that he could very much identify what lovely sign you were throwing his way.
âI love you too, darlinâ !â He yelled back.
You rolled your eyes so hard you feared for a moment that theyâd get permanently stuck.
âCareful, youâre blushing,â Natasha snickered, still lying next to you.
Scoffing you flipped her off as well, âwhich side are you on ?â
âThe side of love, darlinâ.â She smiled in a perfect imitation of Jakeâs Texan drawl.
You couldnât have contained the laugh that broke out of you even if you tried, âshit, you actually sound just like him.â
âI know,â she cooed, obviously proud of her trick, âis it turning you on ?â She inquired, wiggling her eyebrows at you.
A shocked laugh escaped you, âGeez Natââ
âOH MY GOD WHAT TIME IS IT ?â Javyâs sudden gasp made you both jump as he came running towards you, where all of the squadâs stuff was and he started abruptly digging through his bag.
âItâs seven.â Bob supplied after a quick look to his watch.
âI was supposed to meet my mom for dinner fifteen minutes ago,â he explained, panicked as he was hastily grabbing all his stuff and throwing it carelessly in his bag. âJake, can you drive me ?â
Usually, you carpooled to avoid bringing everyoneâs car and having to park too far away if the beach was busy that day.
âLet me think about itâŚâ Jake walked over, deliberately slow, pretending to think it over.
Javy groaned, not in the mood to entertain his friendâs antics, âcome on, man.â
Jake sped up a bit, raising his arms in mock defense, âalright, alright, donât throw a fit mamaâs boy. Iâll drive you.â
As he was gathering his own stuff, you suddenly saw him frown, and then frantically look around. Lifting his towel, emptying his bag only to pack it again, passing his hands in the sand in visible hope of stumbling upon somethingâŚ
You were about to throw in a witty remark when you noticed something missing on his wrist.
His watch.
His fatherâs watch.
In its place was now a tanning line. A ribbon of whiter skin surrounded by his Californian and natural Texan tan.
It didnât take a genius, nor being Jakeâs best friend to know how precious that watch was to him, or to guess that it might have been one of the last few things left from his dad.
He wore it at all times. There werenât much occasion you had seen him without it ever since youâd met him. It had stayed securely around his wrist all throughout Naval Academy, and then had stayed through every one of his deployment until he got permanently assigned in San Diego. During every flight, every mission, every exam even, every casual outing⌠You could always see the watch rest proudly on his cuff. Perhaps it was the only thing about him Jake didnât feel the need to flex, a quiet legacy he carried around with him, feeling the weight of it in his every move, every decision.
The only times he ever took it off was during underwater training and at the beach if he went for a swim. Surely a watch like that was waterproof and even capable of descending a few feet deep, but the fact that Jake was unwilling to bring it with him in an environment it was specifically designed to survive in, was only another proof of its value to him.
He never talked about it. Never ever voiced the words âmy dadâ out loud, but everyone knew. You knew.
Javy was ready to go, packed bag at his feet as he hastily threw in a t-shirt over his head, âJake ? Are you good to go ?â
Jake froze for a moment. It was rare to see him display anything other than sheer haughtiness. And it weirdly tugged at your heartstrings to see him look so lost for an instant.
You were about to help him look for his watch â sure you hated him, but that didnât mean you didnât feel empathy for him losing something so precious to him, whenâ
âYeah, yeah, Iâm coming.â He said a bit absentmindedly, his eyes still frantically looking around as he stuffed, slightly violently, all his stuff in his backpack.
He quickly got up, threw the bag over his shoulder as Javy was waving everyone goodbye and starting to make a run for Jakeâs truck.
You watched Jake with a shock you hoped wasnât too visible. Yes, he was the emotionally constipated type, never one to speak about feelings or do so much as even mention or acknowledge them, but surely when he was about to lose, perhaps forever, the one thing that probably meant more to him than the whole world, he would say something, express himself, let it out.
And you knew that if heâd speak up right now, the whole squad would stop everything and help him look for it. Javy would run right back on the warm sand and rampage through the entire beach if he had to.
Surely, he had to know that the squad wouldnât see him as weak over getting a little panicked upon losing the one item he held so dearly in his heart ?
But you watched, stunned, and for some reason with a weight pressing down on your chest, as Jake looked one last time at the beach, eyes boring into the sand as if the distance would give him some perspective and help him spot the watch in a nanosecond.
âSee you on Monday,â he threw to everyone over his shoulder, soundly halfhearted as he turned around and began to walk towards his truck, joining Javy.
The image stuck with you for some reason. it was like seeing him willingly abandon a piece of himself behind, and for what ? Just so he could hold on to his âfeelings make you weakâ Hangman persona ?
If you had been closer to him, and in any place at all to call him out on this, you would have screamed at him. Yanked him back by the collar and prohibited anyone to leave this beach until the watch wasnât back on its rightful place, on Jakeâs wrist.
âI think Iâm gonna head out as well,â Reuben spoke up, âdoes anyone want me to drop them home ?â
âMe please,â cheered Mickey, dusting some sands off his chest.
âYes, please. Thanks Reuben,â Bob smiled, gathering his things.
âIâll ride with Y/N, weâre gonna head back as well, right ?â Natasha turned to you.
If you had been able to say anything other than insults and provocative remarks, you would have reassured him.
If you had been able to consider yourself his friend, you would have helped him look for it.
âY/N ?â
But you were capable of none nor were you any of those things.
And stillâ
âActually Iâm gonna stay a bit longer,â you blurted out without really thinking about it.
âYou sure ?â Natasha questioned, skeptical.
âYeah, the sunset is beautiful, itâs still warm and my book is getting really good, Iâll stay for a bit.â You assured, as if trying to convince yourself more than Natasha.
âAlright,â she conceded, still eyeing you a bit suspiciously, âbe careful, you text me when you get home and donât forget that Pennyâs right next door if you have any problem,â she pointed to the Hard Deck which was facing the beach.
âYes mom,â you chuckled as she playfully rolled her eyes at you.
As Reubenâs car drove away, you stood there for a moment. Watching the waves crash on the beach, the soothing sound of it blending with the distant echo of music coming from the Hard Deck. This beach wasnât an especially popular one, and you marveled for a second at being the only person standing there.
Why had you stayed ?
You kinda had blurted it out without any real thoughts of what you would actually do once left alone.
Because you hadnât stayed for the sunset or your book, in fact, the book was getting a bit boring if you were honest.
Jakeâs expression when being met with the realization heâd lost his watch suddenly flashed into your mind and it made your heart clench. And perhaps it was what prompted you to start digging in the sand where his towel had previously been lying.
âI canât believe Iâm fucking doing this,â you muttered to yourself while rummaging through the sand, the watch couldnât be far⌠right ?
You didnât even notice when the warm light of the sunset got subsided by the sharp, white one of the moon.
The spot where the squad had previously established its camp was empty. You didnât find anything apart from a few seashells and a colony of small crabs that you had probably woken up from their slumber.
You probably should have gone home. The watch obviously wasnât there. But then your gaze drifted out towards the ocean⌠the guys usually played volleyball closer to the water, perhaps Jake had lost the watch around there ?
The cold breeze coming from the ocean had started to pick up as you searched the grounds of what was previously the volleyball court.
And when you didnât find anything there, you moved on to other parts of the beach, trying to remember and retrace the entirety of Jakeâs steps during the day. Your knees were aching from being constantly on them, hands pruned from the wet sand youâd been digging up, nails completely darkened by the grains. Your phone was slowly dying, using all its battery to shine inside the holes you were digging up, desperate to see a flash of silver. And it was cold, so, so cold. The wind was getting stronger, making you clutch your hoodie tighter around yourself.
The moon had well settled into the sky now, an indicator of just how much time youâd spent there.
You had wanted to give up, oh so many times. But everytime you had wanted to get up and leave, an image of Jakeâs face would flash back into your mind. The way he had looked back at the beach, like he was saying goodbye to his dad a second time. And every time, without fail, your brain had conjured images of him getting home, and calling his mom back in Texas, telling her about how he had lost the watch and the image was just too painful for you, enough to bring unwanted and in your opinion, unjustified, tears to your eyes if you thought about it too much.
Anyone could have argued you were being overly dramatic over a guy who you proclaimed your hatred towards from the rooftops. And you would have agreed. But you wouldnât leave this beach until the watch was secured in your hands.
You were on your hands and knees, near shore where the water was gently lapping up at the sand, bringing new things and taking away some whenâ
âY/N ! Is that you ?â
Pennyâs voice from the front of the beach made you jumped.
âJesus Christ, Penny !â You exclaimed, a hand over your racing heart, âyou scared the shit out of me !â
Jogging up lightly to meet her, you saw her frown when she took in the state of you, her worried face illuminated by the Hard Deckâs sign.
âWhat are you doing out there, sweetheart ?â She asked softly, and you could perceive the same tone in her voice sheâd use with Amelia sometimes, no doubt that her maternal instinct were kicking in, seeing you all alone, covered in sand and digging up holes in the dark.
âOh I wasâ I lost my bracelet earlier, you know we had our beach day with the squad ? Yeah, so the bracelet means a lot to me and Iâ I couldnât leave without it.â
You pestered Jake for being emotionally constipated but you couldnât even admit to Penny, of all people, sweetest woman alive whoâd never judge you, that you were doing this solely for him.
âI see,â she said, an empathetic smile pulling at her lips, âIâll help you.â
âNo donât worry Penny, itâs alright, promise. Iâm all good.â
Was there a sick part of you that wanted to be the one to find Jakeâs watch ? Maybe, you would deny all of it thought.
âAt least Iâll wait for you, I just closed the bar.â
âDonât worry,â you repeated with the sweetest smile you could mutter out at the moment, âI wonât stay much longer anyway.â
âYou sure ?â
âI am, thank you though thatâs really nice of you.â
âCould you at least activate your location please ? And also text me when you get home, okay ?â
Saluting her you let out a chuckle, âI will, Penny. Promise.â
âAlright.â She conceded, bregrundly.
She knew this beach was safe, otherwise she would have never left you alone. You parted with a warm hug and watched her drive away, similar to how youâd watched your friends leave a few hours ago now⌠God, had it been really that much time ?
You were beginning to lose hope, Jakeâs watch seemed to have truly vanished, and you tried to ignore the heavy feeling sitting on your chest that came along with this conclusion. Telling yourself to check towards the west side of the beach before leaving, though you knew it was useless, you couldnât really recall Jake going there, you still crouched, and began to dig, againâŚ
Phone flash blasting in the dark, the light reflected on something thenâŚ. Silver !
âOh my god !â
You rubbed your eyes to make sure the sight in front of you was real and not the fatigue making you hallucinate. But it was real, the small silver circle was still there.
âOh my god !â You exclaimed again in a laugh, immediately digging in.
And sure enough, the watch was there. Covered in sand, but there. You carefully inspected it for damage, but other than the general dirt, it seemed fine.
Turning the watch over, your eyes caught something. The initials of who you could only guess was his father were delicately engraved in the metal, G.S. Before you could even think about it, your thumb passed, almost tenderly over the gravure.
A small, disbelieving laugh escaped you again, and it was incredibly chocked up. You didnât even notice youâd been tearing up until you felt something wet roll down your cheeks.
Quickly you wiped the tears off, a feeling of embarrassment creeping up your neck even though you were the sole person standing on this beach, moonlight illuminating your figure.
Forcing your emotions to settle down, it was only a watch for Christâs Sake, you practically ran all the way back to your car. It felt as if your whole body was buzzing, and you couldnât explain this weird feeling of excitement and⌠was it fulfillment ?
A genuine giddiness was coursing through your veins as you drove home, you couldnât wait for Jake to have his watch again. See him settle, knowing his fatherâs legacy was in him, like itâs always been and always would be, but the physical representation of it, back on his wrist. The comforting weight of it bringing meaning to every one of his moves.
The excitement kept you awake once you were home, so you took the time to carefully clean the watch. You physically couldnât give it back to him like that. And soon enough, once you were sure that there was not even the tiniest grain of sand left in any notches, only then, did sleep finally caught up to you.
The sun wasnât even up yet when you made your way to base the next morning. You had decided that you would just leave the watch in his locker, he didnât need to know who found it, and maybe he wouldnât be too happy to see you holding his fatherâs watch, considering you hated each otherâŚ. Right ? At least thatâs what you told yourself.
Arriving in front of his locker, you opened his numbered lock, honestly who was stupid enough to put in their birthday as a password ?
But then, anyone could argue that it was weird you knew his birthday, as someone who hated him so much.
Refusing to give this any more thought, you neatly placed the watch in his locker, on a little rag. You made sure one last time that it was perfectly clean, made sure it was not askew, made the sure the rag wasnât wrinkledâŚ. And for a moment it felt as if you were stalling.
âMy god, I need to get a grip,â you mumbled to yourself, finally closing the locker door, a bit more forcefully than you had intended.
âIâm telling you, my mom is obsessed with getting me in a relationship !â Javy complained to Jake on their way to the locker room, âlast night she just kept showing me pictures of her friendsâ daughters and being like âyou two would make an adorable coupleâ like, oh my god, canât a man go at his own pace ?â
Jake only hummed, not exactly in the mood to discuss Javyâs mom self proclaimed matrimonial agency.
Each of his step was heavy. Heavy with the lack of sleep and the mass pressing down on his chest. The missing weight on his wrist made him feel strangely stripped bare, like a piece of himself was missing, left where he had abandoned it on the beach the night before.
When Jake had gotten home after dropping Javy off, he had cursed himself. He couldnât believe he had actually walked away, without even taking the time to look for the watch, no he had just left.
He had to refrain back tears when his mom had called him that night, asking him about his day, and he hadnât had the courage to tell her what had happened, consumed by sorrow and shame. He felt pathetic. He spent that entire night sulking, thinking about how ashamed his father would be if he saw him like that. It felt like letting him down.
âLike she doesnât get that I donât want to settle down, I mean not yet anywayââ
âYeah, tell her you want to keep bringing girls home from the Hard Deck every weekend for a little while longer, Iâm sure sheâll be thrilled to hear it.â Jake finally answered Javyâs rant, trying to give his remark its usual wit.
âYou fucking jerk, youâre supposed to be on my side !â Javy whined, opening up his locker.
Jake was abort to retort something but the words died on the tip of his tongue when he opened his own locker.
He froze.
He was met with his watch. Neatly placed on a small rag, looking as new as the day he had received it from his dad, just a few days before losing his battle against cancer.
His heart skipped a beat in his chest. How ?
Jake stayed there for what felt like an eternity to him, but was only a few mere seconds, just staring at the watch. He could faintly hear Javy next to him still talking, now rambling about how his mother compared him to his cousin or whatever, but the sound of his voice was drawn out, an echo in Jakeâs ears.
With shaky hands, he gently grabbed the watch and immediately turned it over, eyes fixed on his fatherâs initials that he traced with a tender pass of his thumb, and his heart clenched, suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of emotion.
He had no idea how the watch had gotten there, and perhaps it should have worried him a bit more â whoever this was had cracked the impossible code of his locker for Goodnessâs sake ! â but he chose to pay it no mind.
Now Jake wasnât superstitious or a believer of any kind, far from it, actually. But in this moment, he chose to believe that whatever, whoever had found his watch and brought it back to him, had somehow been missioned by his father, who had probably been very upset about his son being so careless with the precious time teller.
Jake knew it was stupid, truly. His father, from the beyond, somehow orchestrating a whole plan to find the watch left on the beach and leave it in his locker on base, was a stupid theory. But the thought of it made a warmth spread out in his chest and his eyes sting slightly. So he decided that for once, he would let himself believe in a little stupidity.
This weird mix of euphoria and serenity hadnât left him the entire week. He felt good, more confident now that the watch was back on his wrist. And he would sometimes just stare at it for a few moments, in amazement and incredible gratefulness for having been given a second chance, thatâs how he saw it. And he would honor his father in every action he took while securely wearing the watch.
He had found a new vigor, a new desire to win, one that made him better, he thought. Though the squad would probably argue it just made him more insufferable.
So thatâs with a pumped up step that Jake walked into the Hard Deck that week end, closely followed by everyone.
âAlright, what do you guys want ?â He cheered, still in an exceptionally good mood.
The squad all gave him their orders before going to find some seats, you merely grumbled a ânothing that comes from youâ and somehow, Jake understood it meant a virgin mojito.
He made his way to the bar, patiently waiting for Penny to finish off her conversation with a customer.
âHey, sailor !â She greeted with a smile when she saw him, âwhat can I get you and the squad ?â
After he told her, she started to prepare the drinks on front of him, making small talk, asking about training, how life was on base whenâ
âOh by the way,â she seemed to remember, momentarily stopping the making of your virgin mojito to look at Jake, âdo you know if Y/N found her bracelet ?â
Jake frowned, confused.
âUm, I donât know. I didnât know she had lost a bracelet,â he said, head turning slightly to look for you in the crowd and he suddenly frowned more, looking back at Penny, âin fact, I didnât even know she wore bracelets, her wrists are usually bare.â
âOh, because I saw her last week, after your guyâs beach day. I closed the bar a little earlier than usual because it was pretty quiet, and she was there, digging in the sand, looking for her bracelet. I proposed to help her but she said she was fine. It was quite late though, so it really must have mean a lot to her, thatâs why I was wondering if sheâd found it. But Iâll ask her myself later then, thanks Jake.â
Pennyâs words had the effect of a sledgehammer hitting Jake right in the chest. The realisation dawned on him and he froze for a moment, not sure what to do with the newfound piece of information.
âYou okay ?â Penny asked him, his shock seemingly visible on his features.
Her voice got him out of his trance.
âYeah, yeah Iâm good, thank you for the drinks Penny, talk to you later !â
He made a beeline for the spot the squad had settled in, their usual one, next to one the pool tables. He absentmindedly handed the drinks to everyone, keeping your virgin mojito in his hands and making his way over to you. His heart was beating so hard in his chest that it was borderline painful. It seemed as though his vision had zeroed in on you, only you. Images of you on the beach at night, cold, alone, tired but still looking for his watch flashed into his mind and he felt a knot get caught up in his throat.
He barely heard the âthank youâsâ the squad threw him.
Leaning over some of the high tables near the windows, you were watching Mickey, Reuben and Bob engage in a heated game of pool.
âNo Mickey itâs still my turn,â you watched with a smile as Reuben interjected his friend, âyou sinked the cue ball so I get to shoot twice, gosh youâd think that youâd know the rules after playing literally every week end !â
You snorted, amused by their banter. And out of the corner of your eye, you saw Jake walking towards you. Expression unreadable but his step visibly determined.
Arriving in front of you, he practically shoved the drink in your hand.
âI told you I didnât want anything,â you said, monotonously, nonetheless still grabbing the glass.
Any excuse was good enough to start a fight with him.
You turned your gaze back to the pool game unfolding in front of you, but when the quick wit you were expecting from him never came, you turned back to him, frowning.
His jade green eyes were trained on you. Chest rising up quickly, like heâd ran a marathon before coming here. You didnât think you had ever seen him so⌠moved.
âYou good ?â You asked, letting your tone convey the tiniest bit of concern.
Jake took a shaky breath, âwhy didnât you tell me ?â
The hand that was bringing the glass to your lips froze halfway through.
âTell you what ?â
âMy watch.â Was all he said, eyes still boring into yours, seemingly looking for answers you were absolutely not intent on giving.
Your eyes quickly flicked to the leather band sitting proudly on his wrist.
You had noticed it all week, how it was right back on shining on his cuff. How Jake had seemed to smile even more cockily than before, brighter. And you hadnât been able to ignore the weird, warmth feeling spreading in your chest every-time you had caught him eyeing his wrist with a flash of pride and cherish.
âI donât know what youâre talking about,â you replied, forcing yourself to keep an annoyed tone as your eyes flicked back up to meet his.
âThereâs no use in lying, I know it was you.â He said, voice firm and steady despite the whirlwind of emotions threatening to choke him up, âwhy ?â
You werenât known to give up that easily.
âJesus Seresin, I literally told you I have no idea what youâre talking about, go win at darts or something, leave me alone.â
Swallowing uncomfortably under his prying gaze, you silenced the tiny voice in your head that was telling you just how much similar to Jake you were in terms of showing feelings.
Facing your stubborn resolve in not telling him the truth, Jake let out a small, humorless laugh, âY/N I just want to thank you properly, so please, for once, just let up.â
Let up. Stop fighting me for a second, was really what he was saying. And looking at him be willing to be honest and open for once did something to you.
âI did it because you looked all pathetic, okay ? And really, I didnât want you sulking all day on base and mess up every training.â you finally conceded, tone annoyed despite the loud thumping of your heart in your chest, âbesides it was just underneath where you had put down your towel, so really you couldâve found it if you had put a bit more effort into it. But I guess that itâs just another thing Iâm better at than you, huh ?â
It was a complete lie. And both of you knew it.
Just the fact that you had been the only one to notice he had lost his watch told him everything he needed to know. And he knew from Penny that you had stayed well past midnight looking for it. To see you in front of him, knowing the length you had been to for him â despite what you were saying â made his heart do something inexplicable.
And Jake moved before he could think any more about it. He slightly bent down to wrap his arms around you, slipping under your own and hugging your middle, bringing you into his chest, chin resting on your shoulder, head touching yours.
All your muscles stiffened on instinct. The contact took you by surprise and you stayed frozen like that for a second, letting him hold you without reciprocating the touch.
He was warm, very warm. His arms were tightly wrapped around you, one draped across your shoulder blades and the other one across your waist. His body was firm against yours and for a moment, you almost thought you could feel the thumping of his heart against your chest. Your head was resting just shy of the crook of his neck, on his shoulder, and despite yourself, you caught a whiff of his smell, residue of jet fuel, his expensive cologne, the warmth of his skin and something so undeniably him it almost made your head spin.
âThank you,â he whispered shakily, a small crack in his Hangman armor.
Those words and his tone felt like a detonator, hearing him sounding so small almost broke your heart. It only took a second after that for your arms to wrap around his neck. And as soon as your arms made contact, you felt his whole body relax and melt into you.
âYou donât have to thank me,â you whispered back, rubbing his back comfortingly.
He seemed so small in this moment and it pulled at your heartstrings to know he was letting you be the one to seem him like that.
âYou donât know how much this means to me.â He murmured into your neck.
Oh, but you did. That was the whole reason you had done it.
It seemed as thought the entire bar had gone quiet, leaving only Jake and you, wrapped up in each other. You had no idea how long you stayed like that. But you certainly werenât complaining, your arms tightening around him was met with the same intensity from Jake.
But the sudden sharp sound of a glass hitting the floor and shattering in pieces took you both out of the peaceful and comfort trance the embrace had took you both in. And you both found yourselves pulling away, reluctantly.
You noticed the slight pink hue dusting Jakeâs cheeks, and his green eyes were bright, almost glassed over, shining with unshed tears.
God knew that if you had the courage you would take him into another embrace right here and then, and not let him go until the first rays of sunshine peaked through the windows, or realistically, probably until Penny kicked you out.
But unable to succumb to your deepest desire, no matter how much you wanted to, you instead fell back into your old ways.
âTry not to lose it again, cause I wonât get it for you next time.â You warned, though your tone was missing its usual bite.
You would.
You would do it all over a hundred times if needed.
Jake let out a laugh, a bit choked up, but a genuine one nonetheless.
âI promise.â He said in a smile as bright as a thousand suns.
And you had a scary realization then.
That in fact, there was not a lot you wouldnât do to see him smile like that again.
âââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
author's note : I have had this fic idea for literally forever and Iâm so happy I finally got down to write it.
I really wanted to kinda âdig deepâ into Jakeâs character here, I hope it worked and that I was able to do him justice. Heâs my baby I love him so much.đ
Also quick question, are we sick of Jake and reader being rivals ? Itâs like my favorite trope with Jake and the only one I really see fit with a character like him, and I have so many more ideas but they are all with rival reader and I donât want it to feel redundant for you guys, so tell me what you think !
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Can I please request 70s Jake Seresin⌠maybe like in the party scene?
The music is thumping - so loud that you can feel the bass pounding in your chest. You're sure that when you finally make it home tonight, the ringing isn't going to leave you for at least a day or so.
Jake's at your back, hand laced round your waist as he holds you flush against him. Pressed up against the bar while you order more drinks, you're at exactly the right angle to press kisses along his jaw.
"I want to dance after these are done!" You practically shout into his ear. It still comes out as barely more than a whisper against the disco music blaring from behind you.
Jake lets out a low groan, famously a hater of all forms of dance. "Do we have to?"
"Do you want to score tonight?" You reply, arching an eyebrow, not above a little blackmail to get what you want.
"Come on, baby, you can't-"
"Can and will," You interrupt. "You better bust out those Seresin moves or I'm sleeping in the guest room."
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âValentine's dessert
a lights, camera, action! story
pairing: of!bob x gf reader synopsis: bob shows his audience what his favourite dessert is âť content: [18+ MDNI!!!] tit sucking, making out, praises, pet names (angel, baby), bob's a munch what's new, multiple orgasms (f!receiving), slight edging, fingering (f!receiving), oral (f!receiving) word count: 1.6k taglist: @she-sounds-hidieous, @fandomxo, @hallowedactias, @cillixn, @magicwithaknife, @xxsquiddkiddxx, @mornomn, @theoriginalfemmebot, @laniec03, @kitkatkaitin, @everydaydreamer, @raidstarz, @heliosphere8 author's note: i want him. severely. it's not funny anymore. also very lightly edited.
of!bob masterlist â main masterlist â join the taglist
goldenboy: happy valentine's day. the best day to watch me eat my fave dessert :). link in bio, enjoy! jaytorres: save me some? goldenboy: sorry, we ran out âšď¸
The video opens with Bob pushing the hem of your dress up over your thighs, lips pressing lightly into the inside of your knee. He looks up into the camcorder, unable to stop himself from smiling at the way your hands shake a little when he presses his palm into the inside of your thigh to keep your legs spread.
âGood?â
You just nod, and he chuckles as he presses his tongue against the flesh of your thigh, dizzy with the way you whimper almost immediately as he drags his tongue along the inside, teeth nipping at the skin around the frilly borders of your underwear. You groan, a hand slipping into his hair so you can move him where you want him but he shakes his head, lifting it instead so he can push your dress up higher and press a kiss to your stomach.
âBe patient, beautiful. Iâll get to that,â he laughs as he comes up so he can kiss you. His hands rest on your thighs again as you put the camcorder down so you can cradle his face. He hasnât shaved, and the scruff feels weird under your palms but your stomach tightens when you imagine the feel of it between your thighs.
You involuntarily clench your thighs when his tongue swipes across your bottom lip and he bites at it gently, swallowing your whimpers.
âFuck, youâre gonna make me forget what weâre supposed to be doing,â he says when he pulls away.
âItâs just a kiss,â you giggle.
âReally good kiss. Kiss that makes me wanna fuck you,â he whispers into the crook of your neck. He lets his teeth graze the skin near your shoulder, then heâs using them to drag the strap of your dress down your shoulder, so slow and so tempting you almost want to ask him to just get on with it.Â
He repeats his action on the other side, watching as the strap slips down and the dress pools around your hips when you pull your arm out. Heâs pressing you into the edge of your dining room table â specially decorated with some checkered pink and red tablecloth and the painstakingly staged remnants of a Valentineâs dinner â so he can take your breast into his mouth, moaning around it as you try to push back into him in a pitiful attempt to ease the ache between your thighs.
âPatient. Let me savour you a little.â
It starts as a command but tapers off into a muffled whine as he pulls your other nipple into your mouth.
You canât do anything but gasp at his words, heavy with want.
And savour you he does.
His mouth works greedily, alternating between sucking and licking at your breast and pressing wet kisses to your chest and stomach. You let out a soft moan, and you feel his hand squeeze your hip.
The next time you moan you do it a little louder, and he pulls away from your chest slightly to whisper a proud âthatâs my girlâ.
He hooks his hands around the backs of your thighs so he can sit you on the table, and your breath catches in excitement when he sits on the chair in front of you, hands spreading your thighs apart. He moves aside a little so he can show of your cute underwear and the very apparent damp spot. He presses a soft kiss to it. You shift almost immediately and it makes him laugh.
âSo needy for me, and I havenât even touched you properly yet,â he mutters, his fingers drumming against your thigh. He presses another kiss to the underwear, and your hand flies to his hair when you feel the hot press of his tongue against you with no warning.
He lets out a strained chuckle as he drags his tongue along the outer edge of your underwear, slower this time. He presses a sloppy kiss where heâs had his tongue against your skin, then turns his attention to the soft flesh of your inner thigh.
 The sound you make when he bites down softly has him stiffening even more, something heâd thought impossible.
âYouâre already so warm, so soft,â he speaks between kisses to your thighs, âbet when I really start eating, youâre gonna be even softer.â
He presses his mouth back to your underwear, as he holds his tongue onto your core, letting his spit soak the material.
âCan taste her through your panties,â he groans as he breathes you in. He mouths at you, breath coming in eager pants as he presses his fingers into your thighs, keeps his grip tight as you squirm beneath his mouth.
He doesnât rush, moves his mouth against you nice and slow as your hand tightens in his hair. Every wet, muffled movement makes you let out a shaky moan, and you begin to squirm even more as you try and urge him to do more.
He doesnât stop until youâre desperate, soaked underwear sticking uncomfortably to your skin. Only then does he hook his fingers into the waistband of your panties and drag them off you.
You almost cry out in relief when his thumbs come down to spread your lips apart as he leans in to taste you properly. Itâs slow and sloppy â something youâd come to recognise as a Bob trademark â and you can feel him moaning into you.
âTaste so good. Always taste so good for me,â he says as he shifts in his seat, uncomfortable. You tighten a little at his words, and Bob nearly gives in to the urge to just fuck you instead when he feels your walls fluttering against his tongue.
Heâs looking up, eyes trained on the camera as he continues his slow quasi-makeout, the scruff on his jaw tickling you just that little bit. He moves his hands so he can keep your hips pinned down, stop you from pushing up into face while he takes his time with you.
Itâs a gradual build, but with every drag of his tongue and spit-slicked movement of his lips against you, you feel yourself inching ever closer to release. You unfurl a fist from his hair, let your fingers glide over your ignored clit. You feel your stomach plummet when he stops.
âBe patient, Iâve got you.â
You let out a pathetic whine in response, and he just smiles as he puts your hand on the table and pins it with his.
Heâs feeling kind, because he immediately closes his mouth over your clit, sucking gently. Your hips buck violently but he doesnât move away, just continues sucking at you with intense concentration.
A pathetically loud moan rips out of your chest when he slides two fingers into you with the utmost ease, the squelch almost humiliating in the way it echoes through the room.
âSo soft for me,â he presses into your thigh as he pulls his fingers out of you, pressing the slick digits to your clit. âWant you to come on my tongue, wanna taste you properly,â he explains before he practically dives right in.
Thereâs no more restraint, just an ever-increasing hunger that has him groaning so loud you wouldnât know he was practically drowning in you. Â He gets his wish as you cry out, hands blindly feeling for his as you tear up. He lets you squeeze his hands, but he doesnât stop.
He doesnât stop even as your feet press against his shoulders, desperate for some relief as he just grunts into you.
âYou taste so good for me honey,â he praises, pressing his cheek to the inside of your thigh.
You donât finish thanking him because heâs back on you again.
âTaste so good, I canât get enough,â he says between licks. âAlways want more. You gonna let me have more?â
You nod, but itâs not enough for him.
âNeed to hear you say it. Need to hear you tell me I can have some more,â he pleads, eyes shining as he looks into the camera again.
âYeah. Of-of course you can, as much as you want.â
Youâre doing your best to keep your voice steady, but Bob can hear the shake underneath.
âThank you, angel. So good to me,â he responds before he closes his mouth over you again. Heâs completely engrossed, and as you look down at him you wonder how he remains seemingly unaffected by the obscenely loud licks and sucks coming from where his mouth works over you.
Theyâre driving you insane, heightening the pleasure you feel. You can feel yourself starting to sweat, the insides of your thighs growing slicker with arousal and spit.
If Bob notices he doesnât care, focusing all his attention on you as he drives you towards your next orgasm. He pushes his fingers inside you as you come, profanities spilling out of your mouth as he coos encouragement into you.
âThereâs my girl. Feels so good doesnât it,â he breathes, âfeels good to let me have as much as I want, doesnât it?â
You remember to use your voice this time, but itâs high and airy as you say yes. It makes him chuckle into your thigh again.
He presses his mouth to you again, softer this time.
âOne more for me okay? Just one more,â he says as he gently moves his fingers in you.
âOne more,â you mumble, hand closing over his.
He drags it out, building you up slowly before stopping abruptly to presses kisses into your thighs, behind your knees, into your stomach. You whine every time he stops, and you swear he gets better at telling when youâre right there, teetering on the edge of total bliss.
âBaby, youâre being mean,â you complain when he stops the fourth time.
âCall me baby like that again, Iâll let you have whatever,â he sighs.
âDonât want whatever, just wanna come. Please, baby.â
Thatâs enough for him. He finally lets you finish on his tongue, your cries of relief music to his ears.
âHappy Valentineâs Day,â he says, eyes locked on your own, head still resting between your thighs.
âHappy Valentineâs Day,â you smile weakly as you stroke his hair.
thank you for reading!! Š dividers by @/strangergraphics
SO GOOD OMG đŽâđ¨đ¤
