Well, my loose lips have finally sunk ships. I told my neighbor that one of my roommates was thinking of moving out due to some drama/conflict going on in the apartment. I thought my neighbor was trustworthy. Alas, apparently she isn’t, because she told one of my other roommates, and it’s not that difficult to put two-and-two together to know that it was I who told her. Whyyyyyyy can’t people just mind their own business??? There was no reason for her to say anything!!! If she seriously wanted to “check in” out of genuine care, there are way more subtle ways to do so without revealing what’s told to you in confidence. That being said, I seriously need to find a new outlet for stress that doesn’t involve venting my issues to everybody around me and assuming it won’t eventually get around to the person I don’t want it to get to. I do this way too much, and it’s gonna catch up to me again if I don’t stop my behaviors.

I love it when my roommate screws me over, manipulates me multiple times over the course of a year, and doesn’t apologize for things when I call her out, then expects me to just take it and not worry about it. BUT THEN, when I’m the one who hurts her and makes mistakes, nooooo I’m a horrible person and she just has to move out to not deal with drama that could have been avoided if she’d actually expressed her thoughts instead of going to my boyfriend to talk about it and not knowing why we weren’t reading her mind. It’s great. Totally hasn’t broken my ability of knowing who to trust anymore.

Whelp. One of my friends, who I used to have a crush on, who my roommate has a current crush on and is trying to get over, who my other roommate has been having issues with due to overreacting to every tiny little inconvenience that happens in the friendship, is coming over to hang out tonight. While I’d like to be excited that he’s coming over, I’m apprehensive because I know that the roommate who likes him has called me out me for continuing to hang out with dudes I’m trying to get over, and now she’s doing the same thing, which kinda sucks. Meanwhile, I know that the other roommate, the one who’s having problems with the friend, is gonna complain to me behind his back rather than actually trying to work out a solution with him despite me telling her over and over again that giving him the silent treatment is a horrible idea. Ah well. I’m hanging out with this friend tomorrow without my roommates, so that’ll actually be fun.

Anybody know a song that deals with the frustration of liking someone but not being able to date them because of their unhealthy lifestyle (example: getting drunk a lot)? I’m tryna make a playlist to vent out my frustrations.

I just wanna read books again. I wanna get excited to crack open a book, smell the pages, get invested in the story, either cry or laugh at what happens, and tell people about it. I haven’t been able to for years because I don’t have the time, and books take up too much space in my backpack. Sure, e-books exist, but I get soooo distracted on my laptop/phone.