Dates at Twenty-Eight

Meet Sebastien: 

What a major hottie! And his name reminds me of The Neverending Story!

Our conversations started casual. Hellos and how are yous and then he mentioned he was hungover from his birthday celebration last night. To which I asked which bar he celebrated at. He said he couldn’t remember. That is when the conversation escalated quickly.

I tried to be cute about it and bring it back to “get to know you’ flirting instead of this bold and aggressive shit but he clearly didn’t get the hint.

I decided to re-download the apps again. I’m back on Tinder and Bumble and hoping my luck will fair better now that my friends who’ve been dating all summer are settling down with their new beaus. I’ve had a lot of right swipes but few men actually reach out. The ones that have in the last day and a half I’ve been active have asked for casual sex. And low and behold, I received the complimentary dick pic that comes with being back on the market. Seriously dudes, I have a great appreciation for your genitals but all in it’s good time. I really don’t want a shitty picture of it sent to my phone. Especially if I didn’t ask for it after I just told you I don’t do hook ups. It’s also essentially sexual harassment. If you can’t respect my decision to not just have sex with you and make you work a little to be with me by taking me out on a date then we’re not meant to be. Dick pic or not. And now that I’ve seen what I could be working with, I’m even more underwhelmed, unimpressed and dissuaded to want to sleep with you. 

SHAME TIME! Meet Nick. Nick is cute and all and seemed kind of sweet and funny at first but he got to cocky... literally.

Cute right? ...I can’t say the same for his other head.

When I think of the term “Live a little” I more so think of doing something different in my regular weekday routine, maybe wearing a bolder colour, doing something that scares me a day, taking that extra shot at the bar, talking to a handsome stranger, trying something new... NOT coming over at an ungodly hour to suck you pathetic little dick. I’ll save him the humility of showing you what he sent me... the underwear choice alone...  I will never unsee.

I will share my picture though! One of the nicer dick pics I’ve received in the past that I saved to use in an opportunity like this! NSFW kids... so scroll with care...

.................

...........................

........................................

His response?

Is my dating initiation over now? 

WHERE ARE THE MEN IN THIS CITY? 

Also, can we please stop this social trend that has become WAY too acceptable? Because it’s really not. Guys/boys, women are not going to change their minds about hookups after seeing your penis. Nor are we salivating or panty dropping at the sight of it. Unless we ask for it ourselves. Then you’re welcome to flood our phone with it. But honestly? Just... stop! HAVE SOME SHAME!

Dafuq? 

“What are your names?” -Whoa, full name basis here!