DASH TELE COM

That we only give a fuck about your problems if you respect our professional opinion, accepting the fact that you are the morons and we are the Gods.

If you’re an asshole, there’s nothing stopping us from pouring water on your phone and making your day a little worse.

You want to yell at me for shit I can’t control? I’ll make sure that new phone of yours that we ordered takes another week to arrive.

Don’t want me to look at your pictures? I looked, and your penis is too small to be taking “selfies” of it.

Let me first clarify that Dash is not a church. We are a holy place of cellphones, which customers truly believe are pieces of Christ himself—-yep, that was a bit offensive.

I wish I had been in a good enough mood to ask Rocky what really happened, but my tale will have to do until I can ask him on Thursday.

There I was minding my own business, attending to my customers when I heard Rocky tell a customer good news. At least, I assumed it was good news because this heavy set black woman began making a scene in the middle of the sale. She began clapping her hands and yelling praises to Jesus.

I’m all for jumping up and down, screaming in delight, and even praising Jesus for the good things that happen, but I was not prepared for the out break that scared my own customers.