𝓌𝒶𝒾𝓉 𝒻ℴ𝓇 𝒾𝓉 .

           there’s a lesson to be learned here,   the importance of   NEVER LOSING HOPE  as brown hues scan the posters of missing animals with hands on his hip.   maybe it’s not a lesson edie wants to hear from someone who,  unbeknownst to many of those around him,  has already lost hope.   but it’s one he’ll make a point on anyway.  “  they probably get found more likely than you think.  ”     a closer look at the similar cats in question,  a chuckle slipping through.  touche.  they were a spitting image of one another ,   even the background of the home the cats were photographed in had a resemblance.    until  ,       “  no,  look,  this one’s,  homer,  got sort of a bend in his right ear,  see,  here,  ”    it’s tiny,  an observation likely to only be found by someone who wanted to prove a point;  a finger used to circle aforementioned bend.    “  it’s very small but it’s tilted kind of,  right there.  ”

                 “  shit,  ”   the vulgarity tumbles through his lips with a few chuckles,     “  makes sense then.  ”      but what didn’t make sense was this:  sitting on a couch that belongs to      GUNNER DUNN ,   NFL LEGEND  .  the physical embodiment of everything darryon had worked for but wasn’t able to become.   not yet.    he could practically feel his jaw at his feet when he recognized him the night before but one more shot wiped his memory;  everything went black.   now  ?  there’s that pounding in his head begging for some form of hydration outside of liquor and the terrifying thought of just how much he humiliated himself in front of his idol.      “  i still can’t believe it,  man,  i’m sorry.  ”     he can recall sitting in his living room chair watching dunn’s final football game.  in awe, the crushing realization that life,  a tricky thing,  doesn’t always go as planned.  and it’s not just his ego talking now,  but he can see a lot of himself in gunner.  two people, meant for greatness,  who got fucked over by life’s other plans.   “  you’re a goddam legend, you know that ?  for real,  i still got   DO IT FOR DUNN   in my twitter bio.  i wanted to be you,  i wanted to kick your ass on the field.  that last superbowl win,  it was yours. one hundred percent.  ”

          DARRYON WAS A CONTROL FREAK   he had been one since he was given such a huge role at such a young age.   so while ollie’s words were somewhat a relief in knowing there wasn’t anything he could say or do that was embarrassing enough to stick with them  -   it wasn’t a relief at the same time.  the lack of control was frightening.    “  damn.  ”    that was it,  although a dry chuckle had followed shortly.     “  that’s just  not safe.  ”   it lacked complexity but there was meaning behind it that he was too lazy to go into detail about.   “  maybe next time we get a DD or something,  someone who doesn’t drink.  ”   assuming there will be a next time.     “  thanks,  though, like a guardian angel,  you did good.  knowing me i’d be face first outside of the wild pony.   mind if i chill here for a bit ?   you got plans ?  ”   he’s convinced neither of them would want to see the aftermath of him standing up.

     “  i got you,  don’t worry.  your couch is good.  ”     or at least he hopes so.   darryon could barely handle a cold ,  having driven himself to the hospital far too many times in fear that he was dying.     “   sure as shit wasn’t in the clear either.  ”     and the nausea that had made itself prominent all morning could attest to that.     “   shit ,   how do people do this every weekend ?  ”

            the immediate crinkle of his face showed his reaction before words could.   the smell of beer was enough to make his stomach turn,  but he took the can anyway.      “   i thought that was a myth.  ”     he’s considering it,   he really is,   while everything in his body is screaming  no,   absolutely not,    there’s an allure about the  (  obviously bad  )   decision he’s having trouble shaking.  a push towards impulsivity that he’s been desiring.   the can is still   slightly   under his nose ,   although no where near close enough to his lips.  “  ‘ppreciate it,  i really do,  but you don’t have any gatorade or ,  i don’t know  ,  some other electrolytes in your fridge ?  ”  or water.  he’ll settle for water.

                he had spent most of the morning slouched before a toilet;  echoing out groans of a man filled to the brim with regret.    now ,  at least  ,  he was able to stand on his own two feet.  barely.  he’s plopped down on someone’s sofa,  his head thrown back when he lets out an appreciative mutter:      “   thanks for letting me crash.  ”     although, morally, he’s not sure there were any other options for a guy who was far too inebriated to correctly state his address let alone drive home last night.    “  i’m sorry,  i   didn’t mean to get so drunk,  what’s that saying,  that,  beer before liquor and you won’t get sicker or something ?  it’s a lie, is what it is.  ”    

         “  there’s not aliens in there,  man,  come on.  ”     he’s laughing it off  ,   a shake of his head at the theories.   “  this town,  they make their money off of people who think extraterrestrial life is on earth.  i mean,  you actually think our species is smart enough to capture ET and bring him here for testing ?  ”   to be clear:  he DOES believe in aliens,  but he doubts they’re in new mexico. 

                       HE WAS OUT OF PLACE HERE.    that wasn’t lost on him.  however, the smell of books brought some serenity to darryon,  it  had since he was a kid.  perusing this same exact bookstore with his mother, spending hours going from    aisle to aisle,   wondering if it would be best to escape the boredom somehow or to be crushed by it.    now it felt different,   he was younger then;  seeing the flyers for an annual event he had forgotten existed and actually finding excitement   in it made that obvious.   he’s got his hand on a   SPORTS MAGAZINE  ( of course)  when approached, perhaps it lacked the necessity for edification but it was something.    there were words.       “  hey,   yeah,  it’s -  ”   he began, consideration hanging from lips,  but soon cut off by a rush of doubt from the woman.    “  no,  no,  it’s good.  ”    and even if it weren’t he wasn’t prepared to tell her that.     “  you in charge of it ?  you did a good job,  you should be proud of yourself. it takes a lot of energy and creativity to be able to put something as well as this together.  ”

            “  hey,  i heard about  -  ”    he stops himself,  although it may be too late, realizing that that’s probably not the best way to start a conversation with someone you hadn’t seen in years.   “  if you ever need anything, let us know.  my dad still makes some mean southern potato salad.  ”

             “  ‘cause it’s not a  date  i’m looking for,  per se.  ”     the following hangs in the air,  (  if you know what i mean  ).     oh,  how he missed the casual locker room talk.    “  alright,  fine,  you’re right,  you don’t have to ask her out.  focus on yourself,  you know, or whatever skeletons you have peeking through your closet  but,  if you  do  change your mind,  she is cute  and i never met a barista who wasn’t chill.  ”    it’s hard to tell who darryon was wing-maning for.   dylan or the woman.

            the sarcasm doesn’t bother him as he approaches the woman and her vehicle after parking behind her,  knowing it must have been spoken out of frustration.     “  no,  no,  i’m here to help.  ”      his father is the car guy,  it’s a fact so prominent as darryon places his hands on his hips and begins to observe the vehicle.    “  i mean,  it’s an old ass car.  ”     he adds,  thinking it’s better to say something than to stand in silence.     “  right,  i can’t hotwire a car but here’s what we can do,  alright ?  WE GOT OPTIONS:  we can call a tow truck and wait but,  you know, that may take a few hours to get here so we can either wait in my car or, i mean, i live right down the street if you’re comfortable.  or if you have somewhere to be then,  i’m just running errands anyway, i can give you a lift.  ”   he left out the last statement he wanted to make:  he’s certain an autobody shop will find more wrong with the vehicle than not.      “  up to you, i got all day.  ”

                call it arrogance but      he is not used to being the one pushed to aside to watch another get flirted with.        IN FACT       darryon was quite convinced that the grin worn by the barista was aimed towards him until her hues showed otherwise.  he’ll  chop her admiration down for dylan to one thing:   the accent.     even he finds it charming.         “  but what ?    you not into chicks ?  cause it’s cool if you’re not,  that’s no problem, i could swoop in, tell her the bad news,  mend her broken heart.  ”

            “  you work at satellite sports.  ”       it’s less of a question and more of an accusation as his lips turn into a smile,  the familiarity that he picked up when approaching chae making itself known with a knowing nod when she mentioned she was a trainer.      “  my sport was football, s’how i started but i’m back here now,  i’m a trainer at satellite, out on the floor.  ”    he confirms,   just in case she may have recognized him in passing as well.  when he’s at work, with his clients,  he’s so far into his own world he doesn’t pay much attention to the trainers who have their own set class.  only offering a simple  HELLO   or  GOOD MORNING    when passing by.        “  for real ?   roller derby’s crazy shit, huh ?   i get knocked around on the field too but to do it on wheels, damn.  ”     his breathing has normalized itself by now,  looking up at the sky as she spoke with squinted eyes.       “  yeah, i haven’t been out long, only about 30 minutes.  i was gonna end my run at JUICE-TON if you wanna tag along, it ain’t far from here.  ”

              the new mexico sun was relentless in the summer,  it always had been,  the sweat beads that make their way down his face as feet roughly hit the pavement are evident of that.   still,   he runs.   in spite of the heat and what’s waiting back at home,   his joy is found when he’s working out.     as impressive as the jump was,  he would have minded his own business,   kept running,   had the woman not spoke to him first.      “  no, no, never give up.  ”     he responds,  standing in place now, heart beat slowing and yet still short of breath.     “  you did good !     skating is all about core strength,  lower body stability,   your muscles are always in use so there’s nothing you see online that you can’t learn in real life.  ”     as if darryon didn’t already read  STUDENT ATHLETE TURNED FITNESS TRAINER  ,    he had the motivational quotes he spews to make it obvious.      “  i used to skate a lot when i was younger,  put me on those now, i’ll fall face first, for sure.  so you did good. you roller skate a lot ?  ”

        “  oh i can’t,  man,   i cannot,  ”       BUT       “  hit me with another !  ”   it’s nice to finally have a night where he can let go.   thoughts be damned.

                           ON THE CONTRARY   for darryon;   doing favors out of the goodness of his heart was both his    best   and   worst    quality.    sometimes it’ll leave him feeling exploited,  taken advantage of,   often his need to help for more like an obligation than anything else.  frankly, he can’t recall a time he’s ever uttered the word   no   when someone came to him pleading.   today, for example,   all it took was a shoulder bump into a friend he hadn’t seen in years,   followed by a  PLEASE,  MAN,  and he finds himself approaching a large truck with a disgruntled guy inside,  both described quite accurately by his friend.    “  nah, not here to buy anything.  a  buddy of mine told me you might need some help, wanna let me in ?  ”